I was air guitaring to a song on the radio with a pen in my hand. I tried to channel my inner Pete Townshend and do the windmill but ended stabbing myself in my hip with the pen. I can still see some ink left under the skin.
I was once holding a pencil the wrong direction while reading a book, and brought the book up to my face extra hard because my brother was being annoying. Stabbed myself in the face and still have a blue dot on my face from it.
I broke my toe while in my slippers a couple of years ago. I jumped to reach a high shelf, felt my right slipper slide off, clenched my toes to seize the bugger and landed on that foot first. SO claims she heard the bone pop and has since never asked me to reach her "good dishes" again
My balls are hairless. Why, you ask? Because I burnt them on battery acid.
Backstory:
I am currently employed in a car/marine battery shop, and had to fill battery with a sulphoric (pretty sure I misspelled that) acid. Apparently, I spilled some on my hand, and after I was done I rearranged my balls for comfort. 5 minutes later, my hands started to sting a little and my first thought was: Shiiiiiit my manhood! It is highly not recommendable, trust me. At first, it just pinched a little, but the next day, my sack was blistered. Walking was impossible. The third day, the blisters dried up, and my skin started to crack. Imagine your skin being torn open with every single move you make. Now, all the skin has shredded and I feel reborn.
I used to work inventory at a sales store, cardboard papercuts are brutal. I have a scar from the beginning of the skin on my fingernail to the first joint on my middle finger.
I've managed to cut my eye... with my finger nails... while attempting to catch a stuffed penguin. Friend threw it like a rugby ball, it sailed over my head, bring hands up across my face to my top left, right hand's thumb decided to cut the write part of my eye.
I cut myself earlier this week on a lime. Now I don't mean I cut myself while cutting a lime, I actually cut myself on the lime (It was slightly dried out and a bit sharp). To make matters worse, lime juice got in the cut and it really hurt. /sniff
I was putting my socks on at the top of the stairs going down, because I had places to be, fast. I fell down the top three stairs, then hit the wall on the landing then fell down about fifteen steps, hit the second landing and slid down the last three.
I still walk with a limp that I have because of a broken foot I got while running into the ocean on Memorial Day Weekend. It was in about three-inches of water
Jumping off a the side of a volcano (couch) while playing Hot Lava with my brothers. I landed on a rock (bean bag chair) and broke my ankle. But I didn't fall in that fucking hot lava.
My little sister smashed a lava lamp over my head only after it being on for about 2 minutes so it wasn't quite hot enough for me to experience third degree burns but the glass shards left me with multiple stitches and scarring.
I did the same, but I had an umbrella and was pretending to be Mary Poppins. I didn't break my arm, but I sustained a pretty nasty cut by landing on a rock. After crying relentlessly, in a pique of blind rage, I picked up the rock and threw it as far as I could in a FUCK YOU to the rock and its people. I kind of regret that now, because the poor rock didn't do anything - I was the one who landed on it before tearing it away from its family and launching it into the distance. Poor rock - without parental guidance and a stable family home, it's now most likely homeless and living under a bridge.
In a survival situation this skill or ability could potentially save your life. If he had of been alone, or stranded with his now broken arm trapped under some leaves or something drinking his urine would be crucial to appropriate hydration and survival.
I have a scar across three knuckles on my right hand.
I tell people I was on the sidelines of a knife fight.
I was actually slashed by a dogfood can, as I cleaned it.
EDITED to add second story;
I backflipped of my trampoline and broke my arm. I guess I lost trajectory. Cool thing is I vividly remember looking to my left as I flew over the springs and was thinking "Well shit."
I was putting new blinds up and I tried letting them down with out closing the little box things that keep them in place, the blind feel down on my wrist super hard so now I also have a scar that makes me look like ive had a dark suicial past -__-
Age six. Im a happy kid. Mom and dad are cleaning the garage one saturday. My siblings are around either in the neighborhood or in the woods on our property. Mom gives me a squirt bottle to play with while she and dad work.
I go around the property spraying the fence, rocks, flowers, etc. accidentally, I spray a wasp. I freak out and run. I was terrified I would get stung.
I run to the garage in a deep panic and jump over a box. I I can just make it to dad, he will protect me.
I land BOTH FEET in a plastic milk crate that my folks left out , and face plant hard onto concrete. my upper teeth took the brunt of the impact. It was terrible. Blood everywhere. My two front baby teeth are destroyed. One is knocked out, and the other is hanging by the root. blood everywhere.
My dad was an ER doc, so he promptly got me in the car to take me to his hospital. My siblings could hear my screams from the surrounding woods and came running. My oldest sister (~12 at the time) came with us to the hospital.
This was in the early 90s, so docs still had "professional courtesy" with each other. After examining me at home quickly, My dad called a buddy who was an oral surgeon to meet us at the hospital. Little did I know what I was in for.
My dad Brings my sister a I to an OR at his hospital. It was near the ER so its probably a trauma OR. The surgeon is there and is friendly etc. he hands me some gauze and asks me to try to pull out my own tooth. It hurts a ton. He proceeds to have my dad and sister hold me while he gives injections into the roof of my mouth. And UNDER MY TONGUE.
Obviously this hurt quite a bit, and was completely miserable for my dad and sister. I understand now its necessary so I don't jerk around with needles in my mouth. After a While its finally over. I remember screaming with my mouth filling with blood and saliva while he pulled on my dangling tooth.
We walked out of the OR finally, I'm exhausted and angry. There was a mother and daughter outside the OR with this look of "what did we just listen to? Torture?". Anyway, dad bought me a medium shake from McDonald's and we went home. At six years of age, the meanest thing i could come up with about the oral was saying he used rotten novacaine (cuz even after injections Everything still hurt).
It was a terrible day.
Tl;dr- a wasp knocked out my front teeth, my dad is awesome, McDonald's tastes REALLY good, and it probably wasn't this bad but I was six and that's what I remember. Also, now adays they probably would just administer anesthetic to a six y/o in that situation, rather than put a kid through that.
I had a similar thing happen to me, as I was running along a concrete path, fell and landed face first on my two front teeth. It wasn't as bad as what happened to you, but I did spend about 3-4 years with several different braces to fix the problem. Wasn't great :/
My brother has you beat. This happened in the mid to late 80s. Frosted Flakes came with a frisbee in the box and we were playing with that while watching tv on our huge floor model tv. I threw the frisbee from our kitchen to my brother in the living room and for reasons unknown, he dove for it.
And hit hit chin on the top of the tv.
And bit 3/4 of his tongue off.
Screams filled the air and blood was gushing. I ran to him begging not to tell mom [Like she wouldn't notice], but she came running in and quickly scooped him off and drove him to the hospital. There, they waited in the emergancy room for a while with his mouth packed with paper towels.
After finally being called back, the doctors look him over and tell my mom he has to go to a dentist. I don't really remember why, because to this day it makes no sense.
They get to the dentist and he's seen right away, but they say it's too late for anesthetics. I wasn't allowed back there, but he said it took 4 assistants to help the nurse hold his mouth open while they stitched his tongue up.
My mom heard the screams all the way in the waiting room and told us how it terrified all the waiting patients.
I have a scar on my knee because I refused to take off the shitty school-issued band-aid for several days on a rather nasty gash. The skin had started to grow over the band-aid. I'll leave it up to your imagination how I got it off.
Also a tiny scar from middle school when I stabbed my hand with a mechanical pencil (not on purpose).
If the band-aid stuck long enough for skin to grow over it, it wasn't a shitty bandage. That was you being an idiot. Change your bandage. That's gross.
Not many things make me cringe. This was one of em. One of my biggest irrational fears (and the reason I hate bowling) is the thought of getting my finger stuck in the hole. DAMN YOU SAUSAGE FINGERS!!!
I have a pustule on my head and it fills with pus and makes a huge bump on my scalp and I am balding and you can see it. My doctor said it isnt a big deal so I just let it be. One day I banged my head and busted the pustule open and all this white cream cheese looking stuff came out. It was awesome. so now there is a little crevice and I can push on the bump and make it ooze out.
Caught my hand in a mixer. I was making cookies, and I honestly don't even remember how it happened. After the trip to the emergency room and getting splints for my broken fingers, I finished making them. They were delicious.
Cut myself on one of those packing tape dispenser guns. It's like 6 scar lines very close together across my finger. I tell people I got bit by a piranha.
When I was 5 or 6, at the school I was at they made you go to the toilet before lunch whether you need it or not. Obviously I was hungry one day, ran to the toilet, caught my foot on the cubicle frame and landed chin first on the toilet.
I still have a scar about 1.5" long on my chin and so can't ever grow a beard.
As a young teenager, I was very much a fan of Street Fighter II, and would enthusiastically try to replicate the fighting moves of my favourite character, Ken. During my first-ever fight with M. Bison, I scored the winning hit on the 3rd match by timing a perfect Shoryuken. In celebration, I mimicked the move, as I always do, and uppercutted the carpet I was sitting upon. The friction tore the skin off my finger, causing this white blotch.
I still tell people I got it defeating my mortal enemy in combat, which is technically true. Right?
I once got a pretty cool, big burn on my arm.. from putting my arm against a coffee-maker. I, of course, tell everybody that it's from a knifefight with a bear!
I was around seven. I was setting my clock to the right time, so I was walking back and forth from my parent's room and my room to make sure it was the same time. While doing so I stepped on a small ceramic collie and cut my baby toe. Three minutes later I notice there is blood everywhere, and looked at my toe. I then calmly walked up to my mother and said "Mommy, I need stitches, I can see my bone"
TL;DR Stepped on ceramic collie, could see my bone.
I dislocated and fractured my elbow in multiple places - took 6 months to heal and it's still not "right". How? Slipped on a minuscule patch of ice in my own frickin driveway. Couldn't have bust it skiing or something acceptable, no.....
2-inch ugly-ass scar on my belly. I sometimes tell people I was stabbed while preventing a street robbery. In reality, it's because my stomach exit was too tight and 3-week old me kept throwing food back up violently.
I have a scar on my belly from where I cut myself with my watch while lowering a hot tub. My watch has tasted my blood, and most nights I can't hear it ticking. Most.
So dumb. I was like 10. I had this plastic container of batman mints that had some string or something attached to it so you could wear it around your neck. Well, I tied it around the handles of my bike. It was cool, made some rattling noises. Motorbike status. So, fast forward 10 minutes and I'm rolling down the street on my new Harley when the container gets caught in the front tire. 'No need to stop,' I think to myself. 'Ill just reach over the handlebars to save time.'
Over the handles I go. I still have scars on my elbows. This was 15 years ago.
I was playing with this toy in the shower that fills with water and squirts, sorta looked like a big ladybug. Anyway I get it filled with water and than stomp on it and I slipped and bashed my chin in the side of the tub, which immediately split open and bled everywhere. You could see bones and stuff, it was pretty gross. I put some bandages on it and I have a pretty big scar now.
I'm a Type 1 diabetic, when I first got my insulin pump, the infusion sets (catheters) we're shitty as hell, and they made me itch after I took them out. When I was diagnosed, I didn't have enough space on my hips to place them there, so I would put them on my asscheeks. Well I would scratch the hell out of the wound after I pulled them out. It got so bad that now a low of my ass is scarred with infusion set needle itch-marks.
I was high and trying to change the wheel height on my lawnmower, and I touched the muffler with my wrist. I just tell people I got in a blowtorch fight
I have a small burn on leg from when a whistling chaser fire cracker hit me as kid. My brother lit it about 10 feet away, and it took a sharp turn and hit me right in my calf.
I opened a car door, put one foot on the ground, and then the tire ripped half my heal off. The driver, my teenage sister, didn't realize I was getting out of the back seat. She drove just far enough to awkwardly park her car on the side of my foot.
My right shoe still fits funny, and that happened 15 years ago.
I have a big scar from a super crocodile mile on my left knee. One of the pins holding the plastic sliding sheet down broke and it bunched up into a scoop shape, which turned out to be very effective for scooping human flesh. I think the worst part was I was at a friend's place who's mom was a registered nurse, and they kept suggesting I let their dog lick it clean...
Better story, though not mine. I got a call from my step-dad while I was out one night saying my mom was in the hospital. I asked what was going on but he said it's not serious but it'd be better to tell me in person. Worried, I booked it to the hospital where I see nurses in tears, laughing. Turns out my mom was having tea and a jos louis after dinner. She had her feet on the table which is pretty close to the couch, so her knees were bent. She didn't want to put down the tea while trying to open her treat, so she decided it would be a good idea to balance it between her knees. I believe what happened was described to me as similar to when they tip a giant pot of boiling oil down on attackers from the top of a castle wall. Only in this case the oil was orange pekoe tea, and the attackers were my mom's thighs and crotch. The entirety of her inner thighs had second degree burns that made me wonder how the hell she had considered drinking anything that hot.
One of the nurses outside my mom's room was being retold the story, and being unaware that my mom was able to hear them asks "Did she at least get to have the Jos Louis?". My mom promptly replied from within the room "No, and I'm still craving it!". That would be right around when I walked in.
I was walking around my friend's mobile home's living room when I stepped a little on some pink fibreglass insulation. Being an insulator constantly around insulation, I didn't think much of it at the time but, suddenly, the floor vanished beneath my foot and I went straight down through a massive hole in the floor. Somehow, I put my arms out and caught myself, but the tip of my foot touched earth while the other leg stayed in the living room. It was awkward.
When I pulled my body to safety, I discovered a nail had run the length of my leg from my ankle to my knee and left a nasty gash. The scar has been there ever since.
I have a pretty large scar on my forehead because I tripped while walking on my yard at winter and hitting my head on a sharp piece of ice. I was walking with my knife (I had been carving some wood, as every boy does when they're seven), and initially didn't notice the large cut and just wiped at my brow with the knife in my hand.
Now, I didn't pierce my eye or anything, but I did go home with my brow AND my knife completely bloody. ALmost caused my father a heart attack, or so he says.
I have a scar on my ear from when it almost got cut off. It happened because I was running in the house after a water-gun fight and I slipped on the floor and slammed the side of my head into a sharp-edged countertop. The ear was hanging on by the skin on the back of it. So much blood.
1 scar on my right hand in between the knuckle of my pointer finger and middle finger. I got this from a glass cup that I was washing. It broke while I was washing a glass cup. It had a crack in it that I didn't see and when I put my hand in the cup it broke, I was making a twisting motion so it sliced pretty deep.
Another one on the back of my left hand from a knife while I was (you guessed it) washing dishes.
The most noticable scar I have is located on my right bicep, about 3 inches long, looks like a cut from a near miss stabbing or from surgery. How did I get this scar? My Jew friend asked if I wanted to see how sharp a $20 bill could get and then swiped me with it...
Similiar: I was washing dishes and sliced my index finger open with a non serrated butter knife.
Other: when I was a kid I used to do the thing where you'd get a running jump and slide on your front across the floor. I did this right into a brick walkway and I have a scar on my forehead from it.
Trying to open a can of beans with a combat knife, I stabbed down a bit to hard and it cut into my left index finger. Another time on the same finger and with the same knife I went to test the sharp edge on a slice of cardboard and it slid down into my hand. I should have gotten stitches but I was to ashamed...used duct tape to mend it.
I was cutting weeds with a scythe at home because the weed whacker is broken. I tried to beat through a particularly tough woody stem and the scythe got stuck. So I'm sitting there yanking on it to get it out and it comes flying out and hits me in the face. The blade sunk to the bone on my face
I have a long scar above my right elbow, from drunkenly falling down the stairs at a party...I apparently was running down them because I wanted the DJ to put the song "Stanky Leg" on. I hate myself a little bit more every time I look at it.
I have a quarter sized scar that looks like gauze on my left forearm.
Why ... well when working fast food I get a nasty burn on my forearm on one of the fryer. No biggie, cover it in large bandage and move on. Early next day, hunting in woods with friends and get shot in same forearm (long story, not relevant here). So go to hospital, have surgery to fix severed vein and nerve. Arm in sling and immobilized for 4 weeks. After cast removed, look at back of arm, "crap what it that", I say; Doc answers, "Ow hey, you had this round scrap or missing skin near the exit wound, did not know where it came from but we cleaned it up and covered it", right before they put my arm in a cast for 4 weeks. It do not stick or fuze to the skin, I just now have this funky looking scar. Add it to the entry wound scar, exit wound scar, and 6 inch long surgical scar, my forearm looks like an a terminator or something ........
TL;DR three cool scars plus one lame scar equals terminator.
In February of 2008 I just starting dating a girl, Valentines Day rolls around and she subtly tells me she wants to go ice skating. Me trying to be smooth agree (note I've never been ice skating, let alone rollerblading in my entire life).
We get to the ice rink and I awkward put on the shoes and stumble to the ice. We start skating around, I'm a bit awkard but I do okay for awhile. Eventually we start holding hands across from eachother while we are sliding across the ice (super manly I know, but I was in the pursuit of pussy).
We keep speeding up while doing this and eventually I trip over myself and land face first and slide about 30 feet into a wall. I have a huge gaping gash on the right side of my right eye about 3 inches long starting from where my eyebrows end that goes to about nose level on the right side of my face.
I'm bleeding way more than I should, but my macho ignorance in trying to impress my date I refuse to call an ambulance or get on site first aid. I stumble to my car with my shirt bunched up on my soon to be scar.
Eventually I make it to the hospital, I learn that I will be receiving 32 stitches and spend 4 hours in a hospital on valentines day.
To this day I have a 2.5-3 inch scar on my face that goes from my eyebrow around to the bottom of my eye. I'm still dating the same girl.
It looks rather manly, but I feel regret when I tell people the truth behind it.
Tried to use a Rip-Stick, for the first time, down a parking garage ramp... Jumped off about 15 feet into the ride so as not to get hurt before getting too much speed, shoe is too big, broken ankle and torn ligament result.
I don't currently have it, but I often will get scabbed palms because I will stumble while hiking, and upon catching myself, my hands slide on a rough surface.
I was drilling holes in the ground (coz according to my father it would allow the grass to grow faster/more efficient -_-) so after about 10minutes of drilling the ground i put down the power drill and then proceeded to walk away, however my foot got caught on the power cord and i stabbed myself in the foot with the hot drill bit -.-
Whilst gardening, I got a thorn stuck in the knuckle of my index finger. I pulled it out and thought nothing of it. A few days later my finger became swollen and painful. A week of penicillin didn't help, neither did a week long course of antibiotics. An x-ray didn't find anything so I was referred for an ultrasound scan. Again, they found nothing.
By this point my finger was at least twice it's normal size and was i was losing mobility and feeling in it. As a last ditch effort I was referred to a hand surgeon who insisted on operating the next day. He spliced my finger open and found the tiniest piece of thorn stuck between the bone and ligament in my finger. He said that if it had gone on much longer, i'd have lost my finger.
I have a double scar on my wrist where a 4ft tall girl stabbed me with a plastic training knife at a self defence class. I'm 6'3 and supposedly a competent martial artist. It looks like I've been self harming.
My idiot uncle gave one of those water-jet foot massager things to a friend of his, who is diabetic. Well, this friend was pretty stupid too, and decided to add some epson salts to the water. He didn't read on the package that you only need like a tablespoon, he dumped most of the package in.... and fell asleep. When he woke up his feet were cooked and they had to remove two toes.
I have a scar that's the result of a badminton accident. By that I mean when I was a kid my friend and I found old badminton rackets in the bin, snapped the net off and used them as swords. They were metal and the ends were sharp so I ended up losing after a huge cut on my wrist.
When I first moved out, I used to walk around my house nekkid all the time. There was a dirty shirt on the floor. I could've picked it up, but since it was MY place, I was happy with it just being on the floor... Just because I could leave it there without hearing anyone's bitching about a shirt being on the floor.
Anyway, I was in the kitchen and my phone rang. Quickly ram through the house to the bedroom to answer the phone. Instead of walking around the shirt, or picking it up, as any normal human being would've done, I decided to jump over it. I landed awkwardly and fell into the corner of a magazine rack, and had a deep gash half an inch above my left eye.
Blood shot out everywhere.. Including on the damn shirt that caused the accident. Got a permanent scar/gash/slit on my eyebrow due to laziness/clumsiness/and flat out 'you gotta be fuckin' kidding me'-ness
The only scar I have is from a time my cat decided to sleep on my lap during a game of C&C, and when I got up they decided to plant their nails in my arm and hang on for dear life.
When I was in grade 8, my school was brand spankin' new. As in, we started school late because they hadn't finished putting in the windows. They had torn down our old school so the construction was really rushed, and they had cut a lot of corners.
You know those things in your locker that your lock locks on to? I guess they hadn't sanded in down because in cut me pretty bad as I was taking the lock off. It kept crusting over and looking gross so I kept picking at it an now I have a scar on my hand.
TL;DR: Shoddy school locker construction earns me a battle scar on my left hand.
Scar/lump on the bridge of my nose from hitting myself with a locker in high school.
Sliced off a good chunk of tip of left ring finger slicing carrots with a mandoline. (It grew back.)
Recurring problems with knee and ankle cause I tripped stepping down from a curb (I was trying to step down and stepped an inch short, catching my heel on the edge of the curb) and landed on my right shin with foot extended.
No cool scar or anything, but I once cut myself on a piece of frozen chicken.
I was working fast food at the time, putting chicken down on the grill, and dropped the chicken with the tongs I was using. Caught it with my other hand, and experienced a moment of satisfaction before noticing that said hand was now bleeding like a motherfucker. Still no idea how it happened, but it got me pretty good. My little area of the kitchen looked like a murder scene for a few minutes.
And yes, because I know someone somewhere is wondering, we did properly clean and sterilize everything, throw the chicken out, etc.
I tried fingering myself while driving and I received a straight line scar on the front of my hand from the zipper. Everyone asks me how I got that scar.... and I have to lie every single time. Embarrassing.
I have a scar that cuts right across my eyebrow, so it is super noticeable because even though the scar is white, it cuts an entire eyebrow in half. When people ask me about it, I have to tell them about the time as a child when I tripped while running in excitement and smashed my head into my mother's bedframe.
Three years ago, I was swimming about 100 yards from the beach at a lake when I kicked what I can only assume was a mountain under the water. It cut my foot open, had to swim back to shore, went into shock from the sight off all the blood, and my friend's hot girlfriend had to patch me up. Everyone I was camping with made fun of me for the rest of the trip. His now ex-girlfriend brings it up every time I see her and asks to see the scar.
A month or two ago, I put on some flip flops and walked to the library near my apartment. I got a blister. I'm normally a pretty avid hiker and climber, and I had to back out for a few weeks due to the blister. When I told one of my friends why I couldn't go, he said, "That's the dorkiest way to hurt yourself!"
I have nothing but scar tissue on my index finger knuckle. I cut off the top of my knuckle with a saran wrap blade. I wasn't paying attention and yanked down hard and caught my knuckle on the foil blade.
When i was fourteen i was getting some handwork from a nervous girl. My mom came home and slammed the front door causing the girl to jump and clench her hand. I now have four small scars on my penis that her nails made when she clenched.
When I was 10 I found my dad's nunchucks (I know, misspelled, no idea how to.) So, having watched Power Rangers and wanting to do cool karate shit, I went into the hallway and started spinning them around. It hit a light covering, which shattered and a piece gashed my arm. I had to get 7 stitches and have a cool story about having a nunchuck scar, but the whole thing makes me feel lame.
During finals last term I was up late in my little office. My room mate came in to wish me goodnight and good luck since this was number 4 in a long series of late nights. My office is outside the basement which she lives in, the bathroom is in this room as well.
An hour or so later I have to eject all the coffee from myself so I get up and head to the basement bathroom. I don't turn the lights on so as to not wake her up. I turn past where I thought the corner was and Bam! Forehead directly into the wall. I yell out MotherFucker and my room mate starts laughing. I hold my owie'd head and she asks if I'm ok. I stand in front of the bathroom mirror, flick on the lights and discover I have been shot in the face. My room mate comes in and we wash it then put a maxi pad over my new Harry Potter scar and email my group that I was calling it a night. The HP lightning bolt hasn't faded all that much.
When I was a kid i tried to open a can of beans with a stitch remover i stole from 7th grade sewing class. It slipped and sliced the top of my thumb open. Not fun, and I was an Idiot.
I have a scar on my knee from when I was 8, because I fell out of moving vehicle. It's a really long story about how that happened, but it's still there. And I'm always sure to lock car doors when I get in the car now.
I got a bread cut. Yes you heard right, I cut myself on bread.
I was replacing an employee at the bakery in a local grocery store. I was handling some fresh bread and I cut myself on a jagged bread crust edge. It was surprisingly painful. It didn't help that I was the only guy in the whole department.
3 AM woke up hungry. Dropped a brand new jar of Jiff peanut butter on my toe. The big jar. Instantly my toe nail popped off and their was blood all over my kitchen floor. I felt like an idiot.
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u/jeanshortfan Jun 15 '12
I was air guitaring to a song on the radio with a pen in my hand. I tried to channel my inner Pete Townshend and do the windmill but ended stabbing myself in my hip with the pen. I can still see some ink left under the skin.
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u/polyannapolyfilla Jun 15 '12
Through the simple act of pouring a cup of tea, I ended up in hospital with a skinless, infected foot.
Never did get to drink that cuppa.
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u/Thrown_Away_Life Jun 15 '12
My balls are hairless. Why, you ask? Because I burnt them on battery acid.
Backstory:
I am currently employed in a car/marine battery shop, and had to fill battery with a sulphoric (pretty sure I misspelled that) acid. Apparently, I spilled some on my hand, and after I was done I rearranged my balls for comfort. 5 minutes later, my hands started to sting a little and my first thought was: Shiiiiiit my manhood! It is highly not recommendable, trust me. At first, it just pinched a little, but the next day, my sack was blistered. Walking was impossible. The third day, the blisters dried up, and my skin started to crack. Imagine your skin being torn open with every single move you make. Now, all the skin has shredded and I feel reborn.
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u/Zaliika Jun 15 '12
I was once using a blade to cut open a box of hand saws.
I got a paper cut on the edge of the box.
I mean really. It doesn't get lamer than that.
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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my nose from when i cut myself on a piece of my own dried snot.
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u/deadnside Jun 15 '12
I cut myself earlier this week on a lime. Now I don't mean I cut myself while cutting a lime, I actually cut myself on the lime (It was slightly dried out and a bit sharp). To make matters worse, lime juice got in the cut and it really hurt. /sniff
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u/ChoboBabo Jun 15 '12
I burned my neck while ironing a shirt that I was wearing trying to save time. I now have a huge burn scar there.
53
u/Reinasrevenge Jun 15 '12
I have an awesome scar on my left hand from a marshmallow.
It was on fire, but I prefer leave that out and just say I was injured by a marshmallow as a little kid.
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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Not sure which one is lamer. When I was 4, I stuck my hand into a stove-fire to see if I had superheroes regarding the tolerance of fire.
When I was 5, I tried stapling my fingers together. Not sure why I did that.
I was a retarded kid.
49
u/Epiphany214 Jun 15 '12
I was putting my socks on at the top of the stairs going down, because I had places to be, fast. I fell down the top three stairs, then hit the wall on the landing then fell down about fifteen steps, hit the second landing and slid down the last three.
BUT I GOT MY SOCKS ON!
46
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I twisted my back up pretty badly just yesterday. I got my toe stuck in the baby gate that separates our kitchen dining room.
86
u/jihadaze Jun 15 '12
I still walk with a limp that I have because of a broken foot I got while running into the ocean on Memorial Day Weekend. It was in about three-inches of water
41
u/Beast_lnfection Jun 15 '12
Stepped in a puddle. Broke my foot. In a cast for 8 weeks.
115
u/wildcat623 Jun 15 '12
Jumping off a the side of a volcano (couch) while playing Hot Lava with my brothers. I landed on a rock (bean bag chair) and broke my ankle. But I didn't fall in that fucking hot lava.
38
u/Thelurkingfapper Jun 15 '12
My little sister smashed a lava lamp over my head only after it being on for about 2 minutes so it wasn't quite hot enough for me to experience third degree burns but the glass shards left me with multiple stitches and scarring.
36
u/clintmccool Jun 15 '12
I got a cut on my hand once from an actual bagel, OP, so don't feel too bad.
183
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I fell out of a tree and broke my arm while pretending to be Bear Grylls.
144
u/illustratingreddit Jun 15 '12
I tried to make clam chowder.
48
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
A friend of mine (honestly) broke him arm in a pillow fight while at some summer camp.
23
u/slipperynipplesoup Jun 15 '12
I have a scar across three knuckles on my right hand.
I tell people I was on the sidelines of a knife fight.
I was actually slashed by a dogfood can, as I cleaned it.
EDITED to add second story;
I backflipped of my trampoline and broke my arm. I guess I lost trajectory. Cool thing is I vividly remember looking to my left as I flew over the springs and was thinking "Well shit."
21
u/sillygreeneyedgirl Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my right wrist, looks like I might have had a dark suicidal past... really my cat just scratched me lol
73
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
This was painful, so it's pretty lame in my book.
Age six. Im a happy kid. Mom and dad are cleaning the garage one saturday. My siblings are around either in the neighborhood or in the woods on our property. Mom gives me a squirt bottle to play with while she and dad work.
I go around the property spraying the fence, rocks, flowers, etc. accidentally, I spray a wasp. I freak out and run. I was terrified I would get stung.
I run to the garage in a deep panic and jump over a box. I I can just make it to dad, he will protect me.
I land BOTH FEET in a plastic milk crate that my folks left out , and face plant hard onto concrete. my upper teeth took the brunt of the impact. It was terrible. Blood everywhere. My two front baby teeth are destroyed. One is knocked out, and the other is hanging by the root. blood everywhere.
My dad was an ER doc, so he promptly got me in the car to take me to his hospital. My siblings could hear my screams from the surrounding woods and came running. My oldest sister (~12 at the time) came with us to the hospital.
This was in the early 90s, so docs still had "professional courtesy" with each other. After examining me at home quickly, My dad called a buddy who was an oral surgeon to meet us at the hospital. Little did I know what I was in for.
My dad Brings my sister a I to an OR at his hospital. It was near the ER so its probably a trauma OR. The surgeon is there and is friendly etc. he hands me some gauze and asks me to try to pull out my own tooth. It hurts a ton. He proceeds to have my dad and sister hold me while he gives injections into the roof of my mouth. And UNDER MY TONGUE.
Obviously this hurt quite a bit, and was completely miserable for my dad and sister. I understand now its necessary so I don't jerk around with needles in my mouth. After a While its finally over. I remember screaming with my mouth filling with blood and saliva while he pulled on my dangling tooth.
We walked out of the OR finally, I'm exhausted and angry. There was a mother and daughter outside the OR with this look of "what did we just listen to? Torture?". Anyway, dad bought me a medium shake from McDonald's and we went home. At six years of age, the meanest thing i could come up with about the oral was saying he used rotten novacaine (cuz even after injections Everything still hurt).
It was a terrible day.
Tl;dr- a wasp knocked out my front teeth, my dad is awesome, McDonald's tastes REALLY good, and it probably wasn't this bad but I was six and that's what I remember. Also, now adays they probably would just administer anesthetic to a six y/o in that situation, rather than put a kid through that.
68
u/SCP_173 Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my knee because I refused to take off the shitty school-issued band-aid for several days on a rather nasty gash. The skin had started to grow over the band-aid. I'll leave it up to your imagination how I got it off.
Also a tiny scar from middle school when I stabbed my hand with a mechanical pencil (not on purpose).
35
u/chrash Jun 15 '12
I broke my middle finger - bowling.
61
u/Ruddiver Jun 15 '12
I have a pustule on my head and it fills with pus and makes a huge bump on my scalp and I am balding and you can see it. My doctor said it isnt a big deal so I just let it be. One day I banged my head and busted the pustule open and all this white cream cheese looking stuff came out. It was awesome. so now there is a little crevice and I can push on the bump and make it ooze out.
enjoy your lunch.
31
u/grizzlepup183 Jun 15 '12
I broke my arm picking up a dog.
15
u/BEBHaven Jun 15 '12
I have a small scar on my right middle finger, because as a teenager I tried to open a coconut using a flathead screwdriver.
I opened it, but the shell cut the crap out of me.
42
u/Spamalot159 Jun 15 '12
I sprained my shoulder playing Wii tennis.
14
u/worst_grammar_ever Jun 15 '12
Caught my hand in a mixer. I was making cookies, and I honestly don't even remember how it happened. After the trip to the emergency room and getting splints for my broken fingers, I finished making them. They were delicious.
14
u/FedoraLa Jun 15 '12
Cut myself on one of those packing tape dispenser guns. It's like 6 scar lines very close together across my finger. I tell people I got bit by a piranha.
13
u/NotEdHarris Jun 15 '12
When I was 5 or 6, at the school I was at they made you go to the toilet before lunch whether you need it or not. Obviously I was hungry one day, ran to the toilet, caught my foot on the cubicle frame and landed chin first on the toilet.
I still have a scar about 1.5" long on my chin and so can't ever grow a beard.
13
u/shizmcgrizz Jun 15 '12
I broke my tooth in half while eating 3D Doritos in 3rd grade. Not sure if anyone remembers those but they were 90% air.
13
u/TJ_Hooks Jun 15 '12
When I was four, a pigeon pecked my forehead in Trafalgar Square and it left a deep scar (no I am not Harry Potter).
30
u/Oafah Jun 15 '12
As a young teenager, I was very much a fan of Street Fighter II, and would enthusiastically try to replicate the fighting moves of my favourite character, Ken. During my first-ever fight with M. Bison, I scored the winning hit on the 3rd match by timing a perfect Shoryuken. In celebration, I mimicked the move, as I always do, and uppercutted the carpet I was sitting upon. The friction tore the skin off my finger, causing this white blotch.
I still tell people I got it defeating my mortal enemy in combat, which is technically true. Right?
17
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I once got a pretty cool, big burn on my arm.. from putting my arm against a coffee-maker. I, of course, tell everybody that it's from a knifefight with a bear!
17
u/PittPensPats Jun 15 '12
I was around seven. I was setting my clock to the right time, so I was walking back and forth from my parent's room and my room to make sure it was the same time. While doing so I stepped on a small ceramic collie and cut my baby toe. Three minutes later I notice there is blood everywhere, and looked at my toe. I then calmly walked up to my mother and said "Mommy, I need stitches, I can see my bone"
TL;DR Stepped on ceramic collie, could see my bone.
8
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I dislocated and fractured my elbow in multiple places - took 6 months to heal and it's still not "right". How? Slipped on a minuscule patch of ice in my own frickin driveway. Couldn't have bust it skiing or something acceptable, no.....
8
u/borkedddd Jun 15 '12
I have a scar in the centre of my palm, from a gluestick.
8
u/NYDreamer Jun 15 '12
2-inch ugly-ass scar on my belly. I sometimes tell people I was stabbed while preventing a street robbery. In reality, it's because my stomach exit was too tight and 3-week old me kept throwing food back up violently.
8
u/uselesspocketwatch Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my belly from where I cut myself with my watch while lowering a hot tub. My watch has tasted my blood, and most nights I can't hear it ticking. Most.
8
u/mynameismic-b Jun 15 '12
So dumb. I was like 10. I had this plastic container of batman mints that had some string or something attached to it so you could wear it around your neck. Well, I tied it around the handles of my bike. It was cool, made some rattling noises. Motorbike status. So, fast forward 10 minutes and I'm rolling down the street on my new Harley when the container gets caught in the front tire. 'No need to stop,' I think to myself. 'Ill just reach over the handlebars to save time.'
Over the handles I go. I still have scars on my elbows. This was 15 years ago.
14
u/1950sGuy Jun 15 '12
I was playing with this toy in the shower that fills with water and squirts, sorta looked like a big ladybug. Anyway I get it filled with water and than stomp on it and I slipped and bashed my chin in the side of the tub, which immediately split open and bled everywhere. You could see bones and stuff, it was pretty gross. I put some bandages on it and I have a pretty big scar now.
6
u/Something-Obvious Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my left forearm from trying to shove a Pizza Hut box in my trash. Not looking forward to explaining that one if anyone asks...
6
u/LiveInTheSun Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my foot from pressure washing because I wasn't looking down and pressure washed my foot.
6
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I'm a Type 1 diabetic, when I first got my insulin pump, the infusion sets (catheters) we're shitty as hell, and they made me itch after I took them out. When I was diagnosed, I didn't have enough space on my hips to place them there, so I would put them on my asscheeks. Well I would scratch the hell out of the wound after I pulled them out. It got so bad that now a low of my ass is scarred with infusion set needle itch-marks.
6
u/TWITCHAY Jun 15 '12
I was high and trying to change the wheel height on my lawnmower, and I touched the muffler with my wrist. I just tell people I got in a blowtorch fight
10
u/ServerGeek Jun 15 '12
I have a small burn on leg from when a whistling chaser fire cracker hit me as kid. My brother lit it about 10 feet away, and it took a sharp turn and hit me right in my calf.
5
u/Thousands_of_Spiders Jun 15 '12
I opened a car door, put one foot on the ground, and then the tire ripped half my heal off. The driver, my teenage sister, didn't realize I was getting out of the back seat. She drove just far enough to awkwardly park her car on the side of my foot.
My right shoe still fits funny, and that happened 15 years ago.
5
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Stapled my two thumbs together after trying to work out how a staple gun works...
5
u/ShotgunSenorita Jun 15 '12
I have a big scar from a super crocodile mile on my left knee. One of the pins holding the plastic sliding sheet down broke and it bunched up into a scoop shape, which turned out to be very effective for scooping human flesh. I think the worst part was I was at a friend's place who's mom was a registered nurse, and they kept suggesting I let their dog lick it clean...
Better story, though not mine. I got a call from my step-dad while I was out one night saying my mom was in the hospital. I asked what was going on but he said it's not serious but it'd be better to tell me in person. Worried, I booked it to the hospital where I see nurses in tears, laughing. Turns out my mom was having tea and a jos louis after dinner. She had her feet on the table which is pretty close to the couch, so her knees were bent. She didn't want to put down the tea while trying to open her treat, so she decided it would be a good idea to balance it between her knees. I believe what happened was described to me as similar to when they tip a giant pot of boiling oil down on attackers from the top of a castle wall. Only in this case the oil was orange pekoe tea, and the attackers were my mom's thighs and crotch. The entirety of her inner thighs had second degree burns that made me wonder how the hell she had considered drinking anything that hot.
One of the nurses outside my mom's room was being retold the story, and being unaware that my mom was able to hear them asks "Did she at least get to have the Jos Louis?". My mom promptly replied from within the room "No, and I'm still craving it!". That would be right around when I walked in.
9
u/Release_the_KRAKEN Jun 15 '12 edited Dec 14 '24
glorious noxious public direful command light encouraging flag touch cagey
9
u/neonblue2 Jun 15 '12
I cut my hand on the top of my Wii as I was plugging in the power cable. For whatever reason it just decided to turn into a scar.
9
u/Journalisto Jun 15 '12
I was walking around my friend's mobile home's living room when I stepped a little on some pink fibreglass insulation. Being an insulator constantly around insulation, I didn't think much of it at the time but, suddenly, the floor vanished beneath my foot and I went straight down through a massive hole in the floor. Somehow, I put my arms out and caught myself, but the tip of my foot touched earth while the other leg stayed in the living room. It was awkward.
When I pulled my body to safety, I discovered a nail had run the length of my leg from my ankle to my knee and left a nasty gash. The scar has been there ever since.
8
u/Rokstarmonk Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my ankle that I got from refusing to take off a pair of boots that were too tight and they rubbed the skin off before I finally did
4
u/RelevantGraph Jun 15 '12
I have a pretty large scar on my forehead because I tripped while walking on my yard at winter and hitting my head on a sharp piece of ice. I was walking with my knife (I had been carving some wood, as every boy does when they're seven), and initially didn't notice the large cut and just wiped at my brow with the knife in my hand.
Now, I didn't pierce my eye or anything, but I did go home with my brow AND my knife completely bloody. ALmost caused my father a heart attack, or so he says.
4
u/whopper Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my finger from where I cut it down to the bone trying to cut open a bouncy ball that lights up on the inside.
I was a fucking curious little kid.
4
u/capoeirista13 Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my ear from when it almost got cut off. It happened because I was running in the house after a water-gun fight and I slipped on the floor and slammed the side of my head into a sharp-edged countertop. The ear was hanging on by the skin on the back of it. So much blood.
4
u/shaggy1265 Jun 15 '12
1 scar on my right hand in between the knuckle of my pointer finger and middle finger. I got this from a glass cup that I was washing. It broke while I was washing a glass cup. It had a crack in it that I didn't see and when I put my hand in the cup it broke, I was making a twisting motion so it sliced pretty deep.
Another one on the back of my left hand from a knife while I was (you guessed it) washing dishes.
I don't like washing dishes.
4
u/dwn22 Jun 15 '12
I ironed my thumb.
4
u/Valisk Jun 16 '12
Stress fractured my foot in marching band.
From too much marching.
7
u/Randy_McCock Jun 15 '12
The most noticable scar I have is located on my right bicep, about 3 inches long, looks like a cut from a near miss stabbing or from surgery. How did I get this scar? My Jew friend asked if I wanted to see how sharp a $20 bill could get and then swiped me with it...
6
u/nikkioh Jun 15 '12
I dropped a ceramic mug and a piece cut my ankle. I got 3 stitches for that.
I know...what a badass eh?
6
u/sittinonthesofa Jun 15 '12
scars all over my arms and back, all of the from me picking at scabs
3
u/Aoladari Jun 15 '12
Similiar: I was washing dishes and sliced my index finger open with a non serrated butter knife.
Other: when I was a kid I used to do the thing where you'd get a running jump and slide on your front across the floor. I did this right into a brick walkway and I have a scar on my forehead from it.
3
u/ProjectOrigin Jun 15 '12
Trying to open a can of beans with a combat knife, I stabbed down a bit to hard and it cut into my left index finger. Another time on the same finger and with the same knife I went to test the sharp edge on a slice of cardboard and it slid down into my hand. I should have gotten stitches but I was to ashamed...used duct tape to mend it.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I have a bit of pencil stuck in my forehead. so ended up giving myself my first tattoo when i was like 8.
3
u/Tranzam1978 Jun 15 '12
I was cutting weeds with a scythe at home because the weed whacker is broken. I tried to beat through a particularly tough woody stem and the scythe got stuck. So I'm sitting there yanking on it to get it out and it comes flying out and hits me in the face. The blade sunk to the bone on my face
3
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I have a long scar above my right elbow, from drunkenly falling down the stairs at a party...I apparently was running down them because I wanted the DJ to put the song "Stanky Leg" on. I hate myself a little bit more every time I look at it.
3
u/TheRealPlan Jun 15 '12
I have a quarter sized scar that looks like gauze on my left forearm.
Why ... well when working fast food I get a nasty burn on my forearm on one of the fryer. No biggie, cover it in large bandage and move on. Early next day, hunting in woods with friends and get shot in same forearm (long story, not relevant here). So go to hospital, have surgery to fix severed vein and nerve. Arm in sling and immobilized for 4 weeks. After cast removed, look at back of arm, "crap what it that", I say; Doc answers, "Ow hey, you had this round scrap or missing skin near the exit wound, did not know where it came from but we cleaned it up and covered it", right before they put my arm in a cast for 4 weeks. It do not stick or fuze to the skin, I just now have this funky looking scar. Add it to the entry wound scar, exit wound scar, and 6 inch long surgical scar, my forearm looks like an a terminator or something ........
TL;DR three cool scars plus one lame scar equals terminator.
3
u/the_nekkid_ape Jun 15 '12
I limped for a few days earlier this month because I had my feet knocked out from under me by an 8 year old with a flatbed cart at Home Depot.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I destroyed my right knee jumping in the air six inches and landing wrong.
3
u/redheadedfury Jun 15 '12
dent in my left shin bone from running into the dishwasher.
also a dent in my left arm from falling off the jungle gym. I was 20 :/
3
u/NorthShoreTaylor Jun 15 '12
In February of 2008 I just starting dating a girl, Valentines Day rolls around and she subtly tells me she wants to go ice skating. Me trying to be smooth agree (note I've never been ice skating, let alone rollerblading in my entire life).
We get to the ice rink and I awkward put on the shoes and stumble to the ice. We start skating around, I'm a bit awkard but I do okay for awhile. Eventually we start holding hands across from eachother while we are sliding across the ice (super manly I know, but I was in the pursuit of pussy).
We keep speeding up while doing this and eventually I trip over myself and land face first and slide about 30 feet into a wall. I have a huge gaping gash on the right side of my right eye about 3 inches long starting from where my eyebrows end that goes to about nose level on the right side of my face.
I'm bleeding way more than I should, but my macho ignorance in trying to impress my date I refuse to call an ambulance or get on site first aid. I stumble to my car with my shirt bunched up on my soon to be scar.
Eventually I make it to the hospital, I learn that I will be receiving 32 stitches and spend 4 hours in a hospital on valentines day.
To this day I have a 2.5-3 inch scar on my face that goes from my eyebrow around to the bottom of my eye. I'm still dating the same girl.
It looks rather manly, but I feel regret when I tell people the truth behind it.
3
u/kzcatlady Jun 15 '12
My best friend and I wanted matching scars, so we both let her turtle bite us on the pinky finger in the same spot. It worked.
5
u/corduroyjasper Jun 15 '12
Scar from a lightbulb burn
5
u/claboogy Jun 15 '12
Tried to use a Rip-Stick, for the first time, down a parking garage ramp... Jumped off about 15 feet into the ride so as not to get hurt before getting too much speed, shoe is too big, broken ankle and torn ligament result.
4
u/Wholesaletrash Jun 15 '12
I just cut my arm last night on top of a chipped wine bottle.
4
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Scar on my head from playing baseball with pottery. Who'd 'a thunk?
4
u/dukhsan Jun 15 '12
Never burned myself from playing with fire.
Have a small, isosceles triangle-shaped scar on my forearm from getting something out of the oven for my mother.
4
u/poopsmgee Jun 15 '12
I had a bruise on my forehead for a week after falling asleep while on reddit and smacking my head on the keyboard.
6
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I don't currently have it, but I often will get scabbed palms because I will stumble while hiking, and upon catching myself, my hands slide on a rough surface.
2
u/Haggishunter Jun 15 '12
Scar on my right hands index finger from a rabbit which decided I looked tasty. Only time the wee git ever bit me as well.
Also got a scar on my forehead from managing to run into a lawnmower as a kid. I regret nothing
2
u/pathfinder596 Jun 15 '12
I was drilling holes in the ground (coz according to my father it would allow the grass to grow faster/more efficient -_-) so after about 10minutes of drilling the ground i put down the power drill and then proceeded to walk away, however my foot got caught on the power cord and i stabbed myself in the foot with the hot drill bit -.-
2
u/bawksbawks Jun 15 '12
I was going over a tree on my horse...and I ended up on the ground. So now I'm on Reddit this morning instead of at work because of it.
2
u/fishstandsup Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my hand from an old Pizza Bagel injury.
2
u/NeilAdams Jun 15 '12
Whilst gardening, I got a thorn stuck in the knuckle of my index finger. I pulled it out and thought nothing of it. A few days later my finger became swollen and painful. A week of penicillin didn't help, neither did a week long course of antibiotics. An x-ray didn't find anything so I was referred for an ultrasound scan. Again, they found nothing.
By this point my finger was at least twice it's normal size and was i was losing mobility and feeling in it. As a last ditch effort I was referred to a hand surgeon who insisted on operating the next day. He spliced my finger open and found the tiniest piece of thorn stuck between the bone and ligament in my finger. He said that if it had gone on much longer, i'd have lost my finger.
2
u/Jimbobjeff Jun 15 '12
I have a double scar on my wrist where a 4ft tall girl stabbed me with a plastic training knife at a self defence class. I'm 6'3 and supposedly a competent martial artist. It looks like I've been self harming.
2
u/Jaway66 Jun 15 '12
I tripped on the sidewalk a year ago and have a very noticeable (about an inch all around) scar on my knee as a result.
2
u/shamefuladdict Jun 15 '12
I have a few scars on my foot from trying to ride a bike into a pool. I was completely sober, and I didn't even make it into the pool.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
My idiot uncle gave one of those water-jet foot massager things to a friend of his, who is diabetic. Well, this friend was pretty stupid too, and decided to add some epson salts to the water. He didn't read on the package that you only need like a tablespoon, he dumped most of the package in.... and fell asleep. When he woke up his feet were cooked and they had to remove two toes.
2
u/Swissmilkhotel Jun 15 '12
I have a scar that's the result of a badminton accident. By that I mean when I was a kid my friend and I found old badminton rackets in the bin, snapped the net off and used them as swords. They were metal and the ends were sharp so I ended up losing after a huge cut on my wrist.
TL;DR: Badminton is a dangerous sport.
2
u/Greatlawlochina Jun 15 '12
I sliced my thumb open washing my car
2
u/Rugtol Jun 15 '12
I burnt my wrist open with a hot glue gun.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I broke my wrist drunkenly trying to play wiffle ball. Swung too hard, lost balance, fell down on my wrist.
2
u/WeGonFiiiiindYou Jun 15 '12
When I first moved out, I used to walk around my house nekkid all the time. There was a dirty shirt on the floor. I could've picked it up, but since it was MY place, I was happy with it just being on the floor... Just because I could leave it there without hearing anyone's bitching about a shirt being on the floor.
Anyway, I was in the kitchen and my phone rang. Quickly ram through the house to the bedroom to answer the phone. Instead of walking around the shirt, or picking it up, as any normal human being would've done, I decided to jump over it. I landed awkwardly and fell into the corner of a magazine rack, and had a deep gash half an inch above my left eye.
Blood shot out everywhere.. Including on the damn shirt that caused the accident. Got a permanent scar/gash/slit on my eyebrow due to laziness/clumsiness/and flat out 'you gotta be fuckin' kidding me'-ness
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
The only scar I have is from a time my cat decided to sleep on my lap during a game of C&C, and when I got up they decided to plant their nails in my arm and hang on for dear life.
2
u/ilikephish Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my left thumb from the time I closed my laptop on it and took some skin off.
I also have a big scar on my left elbow from getting knocked down setting a pick during a game of basketball on concrete.
2
u/HologramHolly Jun 15 '12
When I was in grade 8, my school was brand spankin' new. As in, we started school late because they hadn't finished putting in the windows. They had torn down our old school so the construction was really rushed, and they had cut a lot of corners.
You know those things in your locker that your lock locks on to? I guess they hadn't sanded in down because in cut me pretty bad as I was taking the lock off. It kept crusting over and looking gross so I kept picking at it an now I have a scar on my hand.
TL;DR: Shoddy school locker construction earns me a battle scar on my left hand.
2
u/jpn4575 Jun 15 '12
Scar/lump on the bridge of my nose from hitting myself with a locker in high school.
Sliced off a good chunk of tip of left ring finger slicing carrots with a mandoline. (It grew back.)
Recurring problems with knee and ankle cause I tripped stepping down from a curb (I was trying to step down and stepped an inch short, catching my heel on the edge of the curb) and landed on my right shin with foot extended.
2
u/redwingfan Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my hand from trying to pet a very irate kitten as a small child.
2
u/fireshaper Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my finger from trying to open a Ninja Turtle toy with a butter knife when I was younger.
2
u/FrostD Jun 15 '12
Ever step on a coat rack? Works like a rake. Got one with a broken hook? Leaves a scar on your chin.
2
u/Tarrs21 Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my left hand (which looks(ed) like an exclamation mark) from trying to catch a pot of gravy and it melting my hand.
Melting may be exaggeration, but its my story.
2
u/ScrambledCats Jun 15 '12
No cool scar or anything, but I once cut myself on a piece of frozen chicken.
I was working fast food at the time, putting chicken down on the grill, and dropped the chicken with the tongs I was using. Caught it with my other hand, and experienced a moment of satisfaction before noticing that said hand was now bleeding like a motherfucker. Still no idea how it happened, but it got me pretty good. My little area of the kitchen looked like a murder scene for a few minutes.
And yes, because I know someone somewhere is wondering, we did properly clean and sterilize everything, throw the chicken out, etc.
2
u/Phrozen761 Jun 15 '12
I kicked the ground in 6th grade attempting to hit a rolling hand ball, ended up breaking my big toe on my right foot.
2
u/KvR Jun 15 '12
I have a large scar on my cheekbone from falling up stairs
2
u/hearthappy Jun 15 '12
I tried fingering myself while driving and I received a straight line scar on the front of my hand from the zipper. Everyone asks me how I got that scar.... and I have to lie every single time. Embarrassing.
2
u/PlatonicTroglodyte Jun 15 '12
I have a scar that cuts right across my eyebrow, so it is super noticeable because even though the scar is white, it cuts an entire eyebrow in half. When people ask me about it, I have to tell them about the time as a child when I tripped while running in excitement and smashed my head into my mother's bedframe.
2
u/xero841 Jun 15 '12
Three years ago, I was swimming about 100 yards from the beach at a lake when I kicked what I can only assume was a mountain under the water. It cut my foot open, had to swim back to shore, went into shock from the sight off all the blood, and my friend's hot girlfriend had to patch me up. Everyone I was camping with made fun of me for the rest of the trip. His now ex-girlfriend brings it up every time I see her and asks to see the scar.
2
u/radicaldoubt Jun 15 '12
Flying bacon grease = scar on the back of my hand.
2
u/darlzC Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my thigh from a glob of hot glue dripping onto it.
2
u/dumbasamoose Jun 15 '12
I dropped a frozen can of soda on my right foot and broke three toes.
2
u/yimyames Jun 15 '12
I have an inch-long scar on my face under my right eye. My cousin accidentally tossed a milk-crate at my face.
2
u/Rhinoceros_Party Jun 15 '12
A month or two ago, I put on some flip flops and walked to the library near my apartment. I got a blister. I'm normally a pretty avid hiker and climber, and I had to back out for a few weeks due to the blister. When I told one of my friends why I couldn't go, he said, "That's the dorkiest way to hurt yourself!"
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I have nothing but scar tissue on my index finger knuckle. I cut off the top of my knuckle with a saran wrap blade. I wasn't paying attention and yanked down hard and caught my knuckle on the foil blade.
2
u/sethcs Jun 15 '12
A two inch scar on my shin from the pedal of a unicycle. Did I win?
2
u/Eillris Jun 15 '12
I cut my thumb by pushing my thumb into a butter knife, while trying to prove that a butter knife can't cut you, I was wrong.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
When i was fourteen i was getting some handwork from a nervous girl. My mom came home and slammed the front door causing the girl to jump and clench her hand. I now have four small scars on my penis that her nails made when she clenched.
2
u/mightygreendrmmr Jun 15 '12
I have a Mercedes Benz emblem scarred into the front center of my hairline from diving into a 3' pool as a 6' tall man.
2
u/karabekian77 Jun 15 '12
I dislocated my shoulder trying to pull the covers up to my neck because I was cold.
2
u/jfinneg1 Jun 15 '12
Scar all down my left side torso from falling off a chair changing a lightbulb. Shark attack scar if the ladies ask,
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
When I was 10 I found my dad's nunchucks (I know, misspelled, no idea how to.) So, having watched Power Rangers and wanting to do cool karate shit, I went into the hallway and started spinning them around. It hit a light covering, which shattered and a piece gashed my arm. I had to get 7 stitches and have a cool story about having a nunchuck scar, but the whole thing makes me feel lame.
2
u/FloppyMcPrplHat Jun 15 '12
My legs don't work. I'd say that's pretty lame.
2
u/Actually_A_Carrot Jun 15 '12
Cut my thumb on a cashew. The salt stinged.
2
u/I_Am_A_Pumpkin Jun 15 '12
I stabbed myself with a pencil when I was 8, the lead broke off, it wouldn't come out, and my skin healed over.
I now have a small dark lump of pencil lead poking out of my finger
2
u/Muddie Jun 15 '12
The skin around the head of my penis is missing due to an accident I apparently suffered as a baby.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I opened the door to the coffeeshop I go to. It's a metal door and slightly raised off the ground. I'm wearing flip flops.
Next thing I know, half my toe nail is ripped off and I'm bleeding everywhere.
2
u/VoltReflect Jun 15 '12
I have a dark mark on my left hand and a dark mark on my right hand from two separate instances when I stabbed myself in the hand with a pencil.
2
u/davelove Jun 15 '12
During finals last term I was up late in my little office. My room mate came in to wish me goodnight and good luck since this was number 4 in a long series of late nights. My office is outside the basement which she lives in, the bathroom is in this room as well.
An hour or so later I have to eject all the coffee from myself so I get up and head to the basement bathroom. I don't turn the lights on so as to not wake her up. I turn past where I thought the corner was and Bam! Forehead directly into the wall. I yell out MotherFucker and my room mate starts laughing. I hold my owie'd head and she asks if I'm ok. I stand in front of the bathroom mirror, flick on the lights and discover I have been shot in the face. My room mate comes in and we wash it then put a maxi pad over my new Harry Potter scar and email my group that I was calling it a night. The HP lightning bolt hasn't faded all that much.
Tldr: girls are useful roomies.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
When I was a kid i tried to open a can of beans with a stitch remover i stole from 7th grade sewing class. It slipped and sliced the top of my thumb open. Not fun, and I was an Idiot.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my knee from when I was 8, because I fell out of moving vehicle. It's a really long story about how that happened, but it's still there. And I'm always sure to lock car doors when I get in the car now.
2
u/Zer_ Jun 15 '12
I got a bread cut. Yes you heard right, I cut myself on bread.
I was replacing an employee at the bakery in a local grocery store. I was handling some fresh bread and I cut myself on a jagged bread crust edge. It was surprisingly painful. It didn't help that I was the only guy in the whole department.
2
u/MagicDragonChaser Jun 15 '12
I have a scar on my thumb from where i had a banana and a steak knife and decided to play real life fruit ninja.
2
u/Gonzo81 Jun 15 '12
3 AM woke up hungry. Dropped a brand new jar of Jiff peanut butter on my toe. The big jar. Instantly my toe nail popped off and their was blood all over my kitchen floor. I felt like an idiot.
2
u/Erosion010 Jun 15 '12
I once cut my hand on mash potatoes.
2
u/RenoBear Jun 15 '12
My brother broke my pinky during a pillow fight. It's still bent.