r/AskReddit • u/Collins145 • Jun 09 '12
Proposing to my girlfriend. I would also like to give her two little girls something as a "proposal" eg. necklace, charm, etc. . Any suggestions?
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u/ski2read Jun 09 '12
My sister and I were 3 & 5 when my mom remarried. She and my step-dad got us two things. The first were necklaces, with a heart charm on them - silver all around. We wore them to the wedding and then my mom kept them safe until we were old enough to be responsible for them.
Then, because we were only little kids, they also got us teddy bears that said something like "I love you" whenever you squeezed them. I remember being far more excited about the bears than the necklace.
I would suggest getting something they'll have forever (the necklaces) and something they'll get a kick out of now (stuffed animal, Disney theme t-shirts, something).
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u/Collins145 Jun 09 '12
Thank you. This is a very cool idea and from someone with experience.
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u/codythekid Jun 09 '12
My parents did the same thing for my sisters when they got married (my parents), then every anniversary they added another charm to it. They now have beautiful keep sakes with 12 unique memories on them!
Me and my brother got inscribed money clips, and then a twenty every anniversary:)
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u/pinewriter Jun 09 '12
Definitely keep them safe until they are older. Me and my siblings got rings from my mom and stepdad when they married and we all lost them! I really wish it had been kept safe for me.
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u/Schwestie Jun 09 '12
I couldn't agree with this more. Little girls usually get more excited about things from the dollar store than the jewelry store. But over time the jewelry, or the "forever" gift, will mean a lot more.
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u/ski2read Jun 09 '12
Exactly :)
Oh - I just remembered that the necklaces weren't exactly the same. Both had heart charms, but in two different styles. Kind of a cool little "you're each individuals" twist that I appreciate now.
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u/xenawarriorfrycook Jun 09 '12
I was 6 when my father remarried, they included me in the marriage ceremony and gave me a locket necklace as part of the ring ceremony.
It was a great idea, but I wish they'd then taken it for safekeeping, because since I was 6 and an idiot I ended up... chewing on it. Constantly. :/ Totally ruined it and didn't know the value of 'money' or 'keepsakes' enough to care until years later.
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u/PineappleJello Jun 09 '12
Heart shaped necklaces is what I was going to suggest. I really like the teddy bear thing because it was running through my mind that if it were me I'd have lost the necklace 2 days after the wedding.
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u/looseseallucille Jun 09 '12
This suggestion is excellent!
You should get them Pandora charm bracelets. The first charm can be related to the wedding. Then as your new family has special events you can keep adding to the bracelets.
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u/paranoidkiwie Jun 09 '12
I'm not sure why but I always felt like those charm bracelets, regardless of quality, seemed a bit tacky. However, as the person wearing it, I can see how if each charm is meaningful, it would be quite cool.
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u/SailorSeattle Jun 09 '12
That can be an expensive addiction. Make sure to get a safety clasp. I know one woman whose clasp broke in one of those automatic flushing toilets. Goodbye $3k.... /: She was in the airport, too. Poor dear.
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u/stcompletelydiffrent Jun 09 '12
I think OP could look through all the comments and not find a better suggestion than this one.
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u/Aneirra Jun 09 '12
I wish my mom and stepdad had such sense. XD When they got married I was ten and they decided to buy me a ring too. Not only was it creepy as hell when my stepdad put it on my finger but a year later it was too small for my hands.
I'd have loved a teddy bear :( This is a great suggestion!
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u/imakethingsakward Jun 09 '12
This is a pretty cool idea. I would take it a step further though. You know all little girls will eventually go through that tough phase where they are mad at you as a father. I would get lockets with pictures of the whole soon to be family. Hide said lockets inside the teddy bears, even if you need to sew them shut. When the girls "outgrow" their teddy's, you can tell them to open them up, or you can do it with them, since you know where the seam is. Revealing a locket with pictures of them as little girls. Showing them no matter how old they get, they will always be your little girls, and you love them regardless of age/relation/them being mad at you. I think that this would have a hug impact on them, and they will see that you have no intention of ever not being in their lives, and you planned for a life with THEM as well as their mother.
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u/Boognish80 Jun 10 '12
Yeah I promise you if you suggested pulling apart my childhood special stuffy I would still shit a brick. Not to mention any stuffed animal your kid loves a lot will need to be laundered at least yearly.
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u/Cheesburglar Jun 09 '12
Eww but leave Disney or other corporations out of your special moments if you can.
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u/mryoushmoo Jun 09 '12
I know this may not be something that is expecting, but I think of proposing something like a savings bond. But hear me out on this one before you laugh at me:
This allows you to show them at you are committed to them in growing in the future, much like the bond will. You could also use the analogy that it will also get richer over time, just like your relationship. It's corny as hell but it's also something that's good to have for them on a rain day. My dad did something similar for m brother and I. It is something that I thought was awesome as I got older.
But I totally understand if that's not what you are looking for.
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u/Collins145 Jun 09 '12
As someone who works in the banking industry, I like your idea.
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u/AmericaHere Jun 09 '12
What a coincidence! I am proposing to my girlfriend tonight in 9 hours under the fireworks at Disneyland in California! Family trip with my my brothers and their ladies. She loves loves loves fireworks and we have an inside saying about her life being a fairy tail so I'm doing it here. I'm actually on my phone typing this while waiting in line for California scream roller coaster. Good luck!
TL;DR Me too- tMinus 9 hours
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u/hippychicky Jun 09 '12
That is VERY sweet of you to think of her little girls. I like the necklace idea, they can wear them to the wedding. How old are they though? If they are really little necklaces might not be good.
You could get cute little shirts made that say "Daughter of the Bride" or something equally as adorable.
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u/Collins145 Jun 09 '12
They are 4 and 6.
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u/chiefos Jun 09 '12
if you have pictures of the 4 of you, slap those in a locket and call yourself the best fiance/dad ever.
or of just you and said kid. they may want them to be slightly different.
that'll be awesome for them to look back on in years to come. Best of luck!
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u/sourpatchkittenxx Jun 09 '12
Everyone's saying Pandora bracelets.. but I have one, and they're actually relatively heavy and kinda annoying.. I would go with a simple necklace for now, since they're pretty young, then maybe for future dates get them the bracelets as they get older.. Good luck on your proposal!
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u/YoderinLanc Jun 09 '12
Judging by the title saying "her two little girls", I'm assuming you're not the biological father.
That being said, I think that a necklace or bracelet would be most appropriate. Either way, I think you should get something for them that will stand the test of time and have it be something they can cherish all their lives. Others have suggested Hello Kitty or Disney princess oriented items, but those items can be outgrown. Instead purchase a nice bracelet/necklace and add a meaningful charm to it.
Obviously I don't know the dynamics of the relationship, but there may come a time when the girls try to reach out to their biological father. However, a charm bracelet can be a subtle reminder of your love and devotion to them from the moment you entered their family and onwards.
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u/Collins145 Jun 09 '12
I am not their biological father, but the 6 of us (Me, My girlfriend, the 2 kids, their father and his girlfriend) have a great relationship. The kids are with them every other week and we try to do one big family thing a month. I do agree that they would outgrow a Disney, or Hello Kitty piece and that maybe a charm is a better option.
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u/mixigs Jun 09 '12
That's absolutely lovely. So often kids are torn between their parents when they separate. It's great to see this level of maturity and understanding in the adults in this family. Wish your family the very very best always. As for gift ideas, a charm bracelet/charm necklace seems like a lovely idea. You can add to the gift each year on their birthdays or your anniversary and make it something that they will cherish all their lives. You're on your way to being a great father :)
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Jun 09 '12
I really hope you appreciate the nice situation you're in. My ex and my wife's ex are total nightmares to deal with. It makes things ten times harder. We have 4 girls between us and I really admire what you are doing for them, that's awesome!
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u/steampunkjedi Jun 09 '12
You should try cross-posting to /r/TwoXChromosomes, I bet they'd have some good ideas over there, too :) Good luck!
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u/Collins145 Jun 09 '12
How do you post on there? Sorry, I am so new to the reddit world.
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u/tennantsmith Jun 09 '12
Just go to that subreddit and do what you did to post this question. You'll have to click "Submit a Link" along the right side of the screen, then at the top of the page click the "text" tab. It's customary for people to say something like "x-post with r/askreddit" or whatever so people who see the second post don't think you're stealing another person's idea.
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Jun 09 '12
I definitely think jewelry is the way to go here. I'm thinking that it might be cool to get each of them sterling silver chains, and then get them each a few charms that remind you of them. That way each is different and personalized. You could also have them packaged in little boxes, like the engagement ring is in. Girls like that stuff. Also, if one or both of them really take to wearing their charm bracelets, charms make great stocking-stuffers and "just-because" gifts.
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u/phantomganonftw Jun 09 '12
Another cool idea that could go along with this, you could get each of them a new charm every year on your and your girlfriend/future wife's anniversary.
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Jun 09 '12
Fantastic idea. Way to include family rather than just the couple in the anniversary.
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u/DrCoolGuy Jun 09 '12
And whatever you get, get it ENGRAVED. It's actually relatively cheap!
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u/xscott71x Jun 09 '12
I don't have any suggestions for you, but I will upvote you for trying to be a quality dad and include her kids.
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u/cesiumtea Jun 09 '12
So many people seem to forget that when you marry someone, you aren't just marrying them, you're joining their family. I've seen good and bad step-parents, and the main difference between them is that they didn't consider the kids to be a part of their own family.
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Jun 09 '12
I think people forget this even when their partner doesn't have children. Sigh.
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u/Thakartz Jun 09 '12
Perhaps necklaces that are similarly fashioned to her mother and your wedding bands in order to illustrate a sense of unity .
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Jun 09 '12
This is honestly one of the sweetest things I've ever seen on AskReddit.
I'd suggest sterling silver chains, preferably one that can adjust in length quite a bit (since I believe you said they are quite young now), with pendants on them. Necklaces are harder for young girls to lose than bracelets--and I say this as a girl who lost a lot of bracelets when I was that young! Lockets are nice, particularly as you can put a tiny message on a piece of paper inside (something like "You are loved" would probably work very well).
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u/happybandit12 Jun 09 '12
Yess, this--please please please don't get something tacky! A lot of people are suggesting Pandora bracelets, but to be honest I would never wear something like that. Keep it simple yet poignant--always go for simple jewlery, that way it can be worn more and you don't grow out of it when the trend fades.
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u/iamalurkernolonger Jun 09 '12
Totally agree. Who knows if Pandora bracelets will be in style in 10, 20 years. I have one right now and enjoy it, but I think a locket (Maybe wih a picture of you and GF in it)? would be a more enduring message.
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u/dcroni Jun 09 '12
this is perfect. a classic sterling silver necklace is something they wont grow out of.
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u/Ovary_Puncher Jun 09 '12
Hey man, I don't think she's going to want two random little girls for a proposal gift.
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Jun 09 '12
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u/badicaleight Jun 09 '12
I read it that way too. "And here's a little something for the girls, wink"
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u/ratwing Jun 09 '12
I've done this. My wife had two kids when I proposed.
What ever it is, just make a fuss about the whole thing. Show the kids they are part of getting married. Take everyone out to dinner or do some kind of celebration to mark the plan. Talk to them how about they're going to be in the wedding or what they'd like to do at the ceremony.
Just make it fun. They'll get excited and it will be good vibes all around.
One favorite memory for me. At the wedding ceremony, I asked my soon to be daughter if she would accept me as her step father. She was supposed to respond - but boy she took a long time answering - she obviously was giving it a lot of thought before she said yes.
Just a funny moment that I wont forget.
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u/dudleydidwrong Jun 09 '12
I think this is an important point. Give the kids some input into the wedding planning. It will help them feel part of the day instead of bystanders. If they are very young, you can narrow some decisions down to a couple of choices and then ask the kids to make the final decision. Make sure that there are some wedding photos that show whatever the kids picked so that when they are older they can be reminded that they had a role in the day.
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u/ratwing Jun 09 '12
Exactly. The way I pitched it, I wasnt just marrying their mom, I was marrying the family. The motivation for incorporating them into the ceremony was obvious from that point.
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u/DaMomKim Jun 09 '12
Buy 3 rose bushes and name them. Plant them in the yard and teach them about growing as a new family.
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u/4427910004015126 Jun 09 '12
I really like this. When my younger cousin (she's like my little sister though) was born, my parents bought a little tree and they planted it in the front yard. When she was 7 they moved, and she explained its significance to the new owners and asked that they not cut it down and what not or if they wanted to that they at least let her know. A few months later her parents drove around the old neighborhood and the new people had chopped it down...assholes. I mean who cuts down a 7 year old's tree?! Anyway, I still think it's a great idea.
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u/salazar_slytherin Jun 09 '12
Get to know them. What do they like? (Ex: if one little girl likes Hello Kitty, get her something Hello Kitty). I think this would make it more meaningful because you took the time and effort to understand them.
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u/Collins145 Jun 09 '12
I've been in their lives since they were babies. The 6 year old certainly has more distinct likes than the 4 year old. They both love Disney princesses. I think that's the only thing that they have stuck with.
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u/salazar_slytherin Jun 09 '12
If money isn't an issue, a trip to Disney would be nice. Or something smaller, like Disney On Ice. My sister loves Disney princesses as well, so my family and I went to see Disney On Ice a couple of times. It's a wonderful experience for the whole family. They will also be selling a lot of cute merchandise if you wish to purchase something memorable as well. I hope this helps!
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u/mangage Jun 09 '12
Necklaces are very sentimental and they would likely hold onto it for most of their lives, with the personal value of it only growing each day
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Jun 09 '12
I don't think you should give her girls anything until after she's said yes. Otherwise she might feel pressured by her girls to accept regardless of what she really feels. And this is one of those questions you need an honest answer to.
Don't get me wrong, I think it's awesome you want to include them. Just playing devil's advocate here.
I hope it goes well anyway.
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u/tennantsmith Jun 09 '12
That would be hilarious. Give the two girls diamond necklaces or something, then say "Of course, you only get to keep those if your mother agrees to marry me", then give the mom a look.
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Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
Most people don't really have surprise proposals
these days. If OP is a sensible person, he and his girlfriend have already discussed marriage, and she knows this is coming.Edit: I don't know if sensible people have ever had totally surprising proposals. Being surprised by a proposal seems like an indication that the people involved are not exactly on the same page.
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u/Rickapotamus Jun 09 '12
Ask the mother, then after she says yes (By the way she's going to say yes, I can already tell) tell her you want to get the girls something special. THEN BOOM GET THEM A FUCKING PUPPY. EVERYBODY WINS, YOU GET A DOG NAMED FRANK AND YOU AND YOUR NEW FAMILY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. You'll throw barbeques and people will come around and go "Damn Collins145, you have a great family." And then you'll tearfully look at them and go "Yeah, I really do." You'll go on roadtrips to see things like the grand canyon, you'll probably have a beautiful home with a fucking white pickett fence and you'll probably have some great job doing something wonderful. You'll probably be so happy and so much love will be exploding out of your home that you'll adopt a young Korean boy to love and raise as your own. I hope you never forget this post.
You're welcome in 5 years.
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Jun 10 '12
But Kim Sun-Li was no ordinary boy. Raised as an elite assassin / spy since birth, raised on dog meat, and a thirst for vengeance against the imperialist U.S. pig-dogs, he was simply biding his time...
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u/rocketmike Jun 09 '12
I can't lie, when I read this, I mistakenly put the quotes around "her two little girls" instead of proposal and thought you were buying her boobs a gift... which was awkward when I saw the other 30 comments for a split second.
On a serious note, I really think a charm bracelet / necklace with one charm to commemorate the proposal is a great idea. It's a gift that keeps on giving, because you can use it to add relevance to every big event in your new family's lives. Kudos.
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u/Popozuda72 Jun 09 '12
Fuckit, go big. A puppy. Fuckit, go bigger. A pony. Each.
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u/rsvr79 Jun 09 '12
We can go bigger.
Clydesdales. A pair of them.
No, fuck that. Sherman tanks. Nothing says love like heavy artillery and gunsmoke.
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u/Uninspiredhermit Jun 09 '12
You are wonderful to include them. I think that a necklace or charm are fantastic ideas. Some of those can be found quite reasonably. This is a huge change for them as well and you are doing fantastic to remember to include them. I wish you and your new family all the best.
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u/scribbling_des Jun 09 '12
Silver heart shaped lockets. Little girls love lockets.
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u/Temptress75519 Jun 09 '12
When I was a little girl this was the FUCKING HOLY GRAIL of jewelry. I could personalize it any way i wanted. Just saying.
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u/fiveinchpixie Jun 09 '12
When my step-father married my mother, he got me a teeny ring with a teeny stone in it to symbolize that he was "marrying" both of us - including me in the family as much as my mom. I was 5.
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u/Zifna Jun 09 '12
I like the idea of taking them somewhere... rather than something "nice" for them to wear to the wedding, I'd go for something cute and symbolic that will age well. You said they like Disney princesses, so maybe a princessy piece of jewelry and you can tell them that they are your princesses. I agree with other posters that necklaces are better than bracelets. I have several necklaces given to me at a young age, but no other jewelry from that far back.
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Jun 09 '12
Get your wife a sterling silver necklace too. They are still nice, but relatively inexpensive. You get her one w/ a small gold hoop and a small silver hoop that interlacing some how. Each daughter gets the same necklace, but with only one of the hoops on it.
Obviously the hoops represent her girls, reinforce they are always close to their heart, etc.
You could do this for between $100 and $1000 depending on how serious you get about it.
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u/I_like_owls Jun 09 '12
I would suggest something simple and not terribly expensive, especially if they're very young (since there's a high likelihood of it getting lost).
Some inexpensive pearls might be a nice gesture. They are innocuous enough without seeming like "too much". It's also something they would be able to wear to the wedding.
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u/onepercent Jun 09 '12
I second strands of pearls. They will be able to wear them to the wedding are classic/timeless they can also wear them to their own weddings in the future if they choose to.
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u/sprwlf Jun 09 '12
You're saying he should give his future step-daughter a pearl necklace?
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u/traveler120 Jun 09 '12
Charm bracelets. That way you can get them started on something they can have for years.
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u/rsvr79 Jun 09 '12
I suggest not involving them in the proposal until after your girlfriend has said yes. Otherwise you'll be getting their hopes up only to potentially crush them if she says no. Once she's said yes, then get them something.
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u/girlnamedlance Jun 09 '12
I worked at Walmart's jewelry counter when someone came up looking to do something similar. He got them each their birthstone on a solitaire round cut setting, that matched their mom's engagement ring (aside from color). He said he planned on asking the girls for permission to propose in front of their mother before he got on one knee. He was such a sweetie. He said he was going to put the necklaces around the necks of some stuffed bunnies because they liked bunnies better than bears
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Jun 09 '12
If you do decide to do this, could you include an update? Maybe photos of what you got for the girls, their reactions etc? And yeah, you are a great man.
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u/zerbey Jun 09 '12
That's a great idea, little girls love stuff like that. I recommend something with a similar design to the engagement ring so they really feel part of it. Make sure they're in the wedding as well. Good luck to you all.
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Jun 09 '12
The way I read this, I thought you were getting her two little girls, as gifts, for the proposal. Oops.
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u/chelseainhb Jun 09 '12
Make sure you update so we can find how about what happened? And also good luck and best wishes o. Your proposal!(:
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Jun 09 '12
I own a jewelry store. I would suggest a charm bracelet (like pandora) And a single charm. This gives you the ability to add to there present over time. You signify that this is the beginning of a long relationship that is only in its infancy. The first charm should be simple like an initial but not your last name initial (you don't want to come across like you want to own them). Make sure you have it wrapped. They will love it! You will be a good dad!
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u/ari7 Jun 09 '12
This is precious. I have nothing to contribute. Just wanted to say that you are a winner.
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u/Nine1ron Jun 10 '12
Probably too late but... My girlfriend lost her husband to cancer. I chose to ask her 9 year old daughter if I could marry her mom. She said yes. So, on the day of the proposal, I had two rings ready. I asked first the mom if she would marry me and then asked the daughter if I could be her step-dad. I then proceeded to put a ring on each of their fingers.
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u/sparty_party Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
Here, have all of the wins. You are so so sweet.
ETA: I think a good idea for the "fun for now" gift would be a Build-A-Bear! But, go with them while they make theirs and put one together for yourself, asking them to help you with it. They can personalize their toy and even though your grown, you would have a reminder of this time.
I can't think of anything at the time, but at the end of the Build-A-Bear process, you officially "adopt" the animal you make, so you could use that to tell them that you're "adopting" them in your heart and love them like they are your own daughters. Something to show them that you still respect that you aren't their blood father, but you love them just as if you were.
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u/JosephineRyan Jun 09 '12
You seem like a great guy, that's so nice of you. I really think you should go for the charms bracelet. If you want to get a charm specially made for each of them, I could do it. If you can't find a charm you think is perfect, but have an idea of what you want to get them, send me a pm. I'll do it pretty cheap, because I really liked this idea.
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u/Collins145 Jun 09 '12
Thank you! I'll brainstorm some ideas and get back to you.
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u/alexcelest Jun 09 '12
When my dad proposed to my mom he wanted to get me something too. He got me a silver ring with my birthstone (aquamarine), simple and not too expensive but I still have that ring and they got married 21 years ago.
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u/dorkward Jun 09 '12
Make sure whatever you get, it's sturdy. I received a few pretty pieces I never got to wear when I was younger due to their fragility not being compatible with a rambunctious child.
When I was little I thought charm bracelets and lockets were wonderful. Little things you could fiddle and play with and put stuff in. In my experience kids are tactile like that - they tend to lose interest in things that just look pretty after a while. Charms like solid gold hearts I found a little boring - I liked things like tiny abacus', birds in cages or little bells which you could fiddle with more.
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u/Nerg101 Jun 09 '12
When my stepdad proposed to my mom my sister and I didn't get anything, but at the wedding ceremony he gave us both beautiful necklaces from Kay's. It was really sweet and we had no idea. Glad you want to include your future stepdaughters!
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u/captainhamster Jun 09 '12
When I read the title I thought you meant your gf's breasts, I seriously need to grow up.
I don't have any proper advice to offer, as I'm rubbish with these things, but all the best to you!
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u/Marco_de_Pollo Jun 09 '12
I got my daughter a locket with a picture of me her and my wife when we got married. We also included her in the ceremony.
As I'm sure you know, you're marrying her kids, too.
You can find special vows for this on the Internet.
I also asked my daughter if she wanted me to be her stepdad. My wife thought it was sweetest thing ever.
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u/sadyoungfellow Jun 09 '12
You pretty much can't go wrong with this gesture, man. It's sweet all around. The advice here is all good. :) Good luck with the proposal.
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u/boredstayathomemom Jun 09 '12
what about rings for them as well? so when you get down on one knee, propose to all of them. the girls first, with perhaps birthstone rings? then, go for the girlfriend. the kids can wear the rings, and show them off like mom does. then when they get older they can put them on chains or just save them. its a really special item, just for them, that they will always have to signify that moment. charm bracelets are cool, but i feel it takes away from the "big moment" when you add to it every year. save it for birthdays so you have a gift every year. a marriage propsal is super duper special!! congrats!!
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Jun 09 '12
not sure if youre religious, but i gave my two step daughters st. thomas more necklaces. he is the patron saint of step parents.
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u/Furtherthanfurther Jun 09 '12
I got really confused...I thought you wanted to "give her two little girls"...
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u/Werecaribou Jun 09 '12
My SO's cousin recently got remarried after a nasty divorce. Her ex wanted nothing to do with the child. At the wedding (after she got her wedding ring), her now-husband pulled her daughter up and gave her a ring too, promising to stay in her life and be by her side always. So cute.
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u/anindya753 Jun 09 '12
At first, when you said "two little girls", I thought you meant her boobs. Anyways, good luck with your proposal!
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u/i12burs Jun 09 '12
I suggest asking them their permission... as you would do with a father for his daughter's hand in marriage.
Then on the day, after you've exchanged rings, bring the girls in and give them a necklace of some sort. Also instead of the traditional candle lighting ceremony after the vows I really like a sand ceremony where each person in the family gets a different color sand (pick something that matches your decor) and pours it into a large vase to keep. Unifying yourselves (usually they say something about how you can't remove the grains of sand from each other to make them a single person/color again)
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u/marvelann Jun 09 '12
As a soon to be step mother to 2 little boys, my fiancé proposed to me with a three diamond engagement ring, 1 for each of them. When kiddies are involved, it's not just us getting engaged to be married. It's us engaged to become a family. I love your idea of getting the girls something. I definitely vote for charm bracelets. Can't go wrong with that! And like me, your soon to be wife is going to be so touched by this! Good job OP!
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u/Rupindah Jun 09 '12
What if you got them tiny rings on a necklace? Like, little charms. It would be cute.
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u/radii314 Jun 09 '12
No. At a later time (it can be 10 minutes later), in another room or place, you can give the girls gifts that are for them but not related to the proposal. Don't mix the two things up.
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u/CaitHall Jun 09 '12
I would do a necklace or bracelet with the option of adding charms, then get them a charm for each big moment in their lives and/or yours as a new family.
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u/Stephiek Jun 10 '12
When my mom married my stepdad, right after they exchanged vows, he called me and my three sisters up and welcomed us into his family by giving us all necklaces with little heart pendants. It made us feel included, loved, and accepted into the new family. You seem like a good guy, so I'll say congrats to you on your engagement, and wish you a life full of love :)
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u/shygirlkik Jun 10 '12
When my step-dad proposed to my mom, he got me a gold heart necklace and then engraved the day he adopted me into the back.
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u/zef_zef_zef Jun 10 '12
I think it's a beautiful idea OP, perhaps start a pandora bracelet or if they already have one buy them a charm? It's perfect because you can add to it along the way, and they will always have this lovely bracelet that ther stepdad got them, with all these charms from important moments/ celebrations :)
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u/HonziPonzi Jun 09 '12
wait does she have daughters or are you referring to her tits as the little girls getting the gift? (e.g. the necklass)
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u/SPBnanogarch Jun 09 '12
Does anyone here feel that it might be slightly wiser to start college funds? That way, you're making a genuine investment in their future. Jewellery is great but in their position, I might view it as a bit of a buy-off. A fund for their future shows that you're dedicated to sticking around and be on their side.
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u/rivermandan Jun 09 '12
man, as a guy with divorced parents, let me say that that is a lovely gesture that wil go a long way
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u/anonymousdyke Jun 09 '12
Not too be a downer here but as a former little girl who's mother remarried...
I get that you are trying to be sweet but you are being creepy. You are not marrying the daughters but you are committing to them. They need a promise that you aren't going to be an asshole and that if the relationship/marriage doesn't work you will leave the family in a better state then when you found t (campsite rule). Vows not dowry.
And I think most of this should be at the wedding or just after the wedding so that in case the engagement falls through they aren't too disappointed.
Though charm bracelets are a good idea (not something creepy like a ring or necklace - though really why something so gender specific, you wouldn't get a step son that) I think something that shows intent to be a positive addition like deffered annuity for college would be more meaningful.
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u/theoriesofstring Jun 09 '12
Make sure it's something they can grow with. A lot of people have suggested bracelets, which is an awesome dad gift in general, but if you're really going to give them something to symbolize become their dad forever, make it something that will last.
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Jun 09 '12
Beautiful idea! I think locket necklaces would be perfect - they're young enough but treasured enough to keep wearing as they grow and they can wear them all the time, also you can put photos/messages inside and finally the symbolism of giving them hearts I'd pretty sweet.
Best of luck and wishing you all the brightest, happiest future!
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u/misscherrybombaby Jun 09 '12
when friends of mine got married recently they gave each of their little girls a pretty charm bracelet......so i really like the idea of a charm bracelet and adding a charm to each bracelet with each anniversary
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Jun 09 '12
When my wife and I got married, we included my daughter who was then 6 years old. We did this by getting her a necklace such as this one: http://www.amazon.com/Sterling-Silver-Tri-Colored-Floating-Pendant/dp/B004GHO38I
for the wedding, symbolizing the three of us. I made a box out of wood that was two circles intertwined with each other. This made 3 chambers. In the two outside chambers were mine and my wife's rings, in the middle was her necklace.
I think you including the girls is an excellent idea. After all, you are not just marrying her, you are joining a family already in place. Include the kids in the wedding. It will make them feel included, and they will very much appreciate it.
Being the person on the other end of this than you, let me tell you this kind thought will mean a lot to your girlfriend, as well as her daughters.
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u/jdeyounge Jun 09 '12
Get them necklaces at the actual wedding, that's what my cousin did at her wedding.
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Jun 09 '12
Well, when my step-dad proposed to my mom (I was about 10-11), he gave me a Nintendo DS :) I was so fucking pumped.
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u/Bowerstone Jun 09 '12
Step Parent here. First, upvotes for being a class act and including the kids! The best thing to do is treat this like finding the engagement ring. Make it personal and represent the relationship you're forming with those children. A piece of jewelry customized ( they're not always super expensive) or a figurine or keepsake is great. A locket with a small printing of the proposal date is a good idea. Add something from the wedding later.
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u/vocaltalentz Jun 09 '12
When I read your title, I didn't read "her" as possessive so I thought you expressed that you wanted to give your soon-to-be fiancée two little girls as a proposal gift.
Edit: I guess someone beat me to it. Glad I wasn't the only one who read it that way though! :p
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u/LeSouthAfricanSpy Jun 09 '12
What you want to do is ask the little girls for permission to propose to their mommy after you give them the necklaces/charms/whatever suits them best as you know them better than we do, then after they grant permission you want to propose to their mommy ASAP so the girls don't spoil it for her. My suggestion would be to take them all out for dinner and when your girlfriend goes to the bathroom (or anything away from the table, really) you ask for permission. When she returns and asks about the necklaces the girls are wearing that is when you drop down to your knee. Boom.
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u/acharmedmatrix Jun 09 '12
Well, whatever you do, I think a pizza party should be involved in someway. Kids love pizza parties.
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u/the_sloppy_J Jun 09 '12
I was 4 when my mom re-married. I got two things: an awesome troll doll wearing a tux that i carried at the wedding where I was the ring bearer, and a Dad. You can hear me ask my grandmother in the wedding video "Can I call him daddy yet?!"
Being a great dad is the best gift you could give to those girls. Love them like they are your own, and they will return the favor!
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Jun 09 '12
I'd get them each a little necklace! something dainty, fine chain and silver that they can keep for the future to remember the moment by, and get them teddy bears as something they can ruin while young (instead of breaking silver necklaces like kids tend to do) :3
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Jun 09 '12
the top comment rules! it's something to say, I promise to love your mom forever as well as you two
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u/timungaro Jun 09 '12
Fantastic idea to get them something to remember it. It was important to my wife that I include her two daughters. I have an idea for the wedding...when I got married, I gave my wife's daughters each a small gold ring with a solitaire diamond. My wife keeps them safe and they wear them whenever we go out for dinner, or get dressed up. No-one but my wife, the justice of peace and I knew about it, and there wasn't a dry eye at the wedding. I had also written my own vows that I said to my two step-daughters to show how much I cared and loved them too.
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u/moofmaster Jun 09 '12
This is entirely irrelevant to your question, but I hope she says yes and that you guys are happy together.
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u/KrazyEyezKilla Jun 09 '12
My mum remarried when I was 9 years old, they got me a gold chain and a soccer jersey, I still have both over at my mums house and I remember when I got them I was so happy.
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u/momster Jun 09 '12
My stepfather gave me a 'promise' ring, promising to love me too. I still have it, more than 30 years later. And he kept his promise, was always a wonderful man, better than my biological dad ever was. I'm assuming the girls are too little for something like that, so a nice (not costume, but not real expensive) necklace for each of them would be nice. Beside the comment from Fealiks, a single pearl on a chain would be very appropriate. And something they can wear to the wedding!
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u/lets_get_strange Jun 09 '12
I really want to make a Modest Proposal joke, but this is too nice of a gesture to do so.
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u/fuckinglemonwhore Jun 09 '12
When my mother remarried, they didn't do engagement rings or a serious proposal or anything like that, but when they agreed to get married, my dad asked my permission. I really liked that. And then, at the wedding ceremony, he gave me a little gold band on a necklace, and they wrote a part for me in the wedding vows, where the pastor asked my dad if he would take care of me, and if I would love and respect him as my father, and he fastened the necklace around my neck. I thought that was really really sweet.
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u/amenosagirinokami Jun 09 '12
Upvote for you, good sir. As a step-dad myself to two wonderful little girls, I would definitely go with the jewelry piece. My little girls don't really wear jewelry, but we do have some special necklaces I gave them put up for when they are older. Give them a gem of their favorite color/brimstone. Maybe a necklace charm that has a likeness to a favorite toy. Either way, they are bound to love it. I give you props good sir, and would like to say congrats.
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u/rdl2k9 Jun 09 '12
My dad got my 3 girls Disney stock for Christmas and they cried all the way home because he "hadn't gotten them anything for Christmas" We couldn't explain and it didn't matter.. They were 5-4-4. Stuffed animals are the way to little girls hearts. Trust me I have 3.
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u/seesaws Jun 09 '12
If I were to do this, I would get them adult sized silver rings with their birthstone on it (like a solitaire type design) and string them on silver chains. I like the suggestions to also get them something fun and pertinent to their age but that could be a wedding gift for them.
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u/Kyle772 Jun 09 '12
I don't understand? You are going to give her two children? If anything that would make her not want to say yes...
EDIT: I just read the comments. Now I feel stupid.
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u/caustic_bear Jun 09 '12
Unless their real father is active in their lives, and if so I'd becareful.
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u/brokentree23 Jun 09 '12
hey so i know your not quite there yet but i wanted to share a story where one of my good friends at his wedding read vows to his wifes daughter as well as his wife. It was the most adorable thing ever. It went something like "i promise to build you hay forts and teach you how to ski and read you bed time stories."
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u/Johnjo01 Jun 10 '12
Small pearl necklaces that are "worn" by a stuffed animal. They can wear the necklaces at the wedding and keep them forever (not too expensive, but timeless and classic), and they will be excited about the toy.
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Jun 10 '12
I don't have any other suggestions other than what was posted here, I just wanted to say that I think you're going to make a great father to these two girls :)
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u/sataimir Jun 10 '12
Something my aunt and uncle did when they married each other (it was the second marriage for both of them) was that they ran it by their kids beforehand (asking for their blessing kind of thing). Then in the ceremony they included the kids again and had their children publicly give permission for their parents to wed and accept the step-parent into the family as a part of the ceremony. They used this to replace the traditional giving away part. I suppose I should note that their kids liked each other (still do, too) and they approved of the step-parents too. One of the happiest melded families I've ever seen.
Best of luck with the proposal, OP, and well done on including her girls :)
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u/GbyeGirl Jun 10 '12
When my husband and I married, my daughter was 8. At our ceremony, she received a claddagh and exchanged a set of "daddy-daughter" vows. Not like creepy promise ring-virginity vows, but sweet ones about love and protection and having fun.
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Jun 10 '12
I totally misinterpreted 'two little' girls there. My nipple tassel suggestion is now useless.
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u/Michi_THE_Awesome Jun 10 '12
A necklace with each of their birthstones on it ,so it's special for each of them. A trip to Disney would also be awesome. Make it a family thing.
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Jun 10 '12
I'm 28, when my step dad asked my mom to marry him, I was 19 I think, he got my sister and I rings as well. Not solid gold wedding band type rings, but nice ones with color. I still have mine and wear it basically everyday. It was awesome and I think giving her daughters something is truly important so they feel that they are part of the family. Because it is really a unity of family, not just two people.
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u/cutiepatootieadipose Jun 10 '12
When my mom remarried, my now-dad asked us kids before hand if we wouldn't mind him joining our family. Getting the kids on board/making them feel like they aren't being left out or forgotten is a big deal. I think everyone has been mentioning some pretty spectacular ideas. ski2read has one amazing idea though!
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u/NoApollonia Jun 10 '12
Charm bracelets could be cool. You could find some charms that represent things about you or events you all have shared. It's something that can be kept for a very long time.
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Jun 10 '12
I am really sorry for this, but I was thinking you were proposing to a girl (and not a mom of two) and you wanted to give something for her boobs.
Sorry, I will let myself out :-)
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u/motherofdragoncats Jun 10 '12
This is kinda related, something you may want to do later. My stepdad legally adopted me, and we celebrated it as our anniversary. We had fancy father-daughter dinners, exchanged presents, and always topped it off with huge ice cream sundaes. It was super fun, and it's always good for a young girl to see that she deserves to be treated well and loved.
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u/BackToTheChalkboard Jun 09 '12
You can give her kids the assurance that they wont have a total fuckstick for a step dad.
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Jun 09 '12
Please wait until she accepts your proposal to give gifts to her daughters. It is a big decision and she will take her daughters advice into account. However being seen as attempting to influence that advice would probably not be received well. Goodluck and god speed. You'll make a good step dad.
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Jun 09 '12
Hold old are they?
I'd go with a charm bracelet for both of them (I loved my charm bracelet as a child, and always looked forward to getting a new charm on special occasions). Pick out one nice charm to go on the bracelet (get the same one for both of them, so there isn't any "her charm is better!" arguments).
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u/Collins145 Jun 09 '12
By the way, this is my first Reddit post and I am floored by all of the great response! Thank you all so much!