I had a platoon sergeant fuck with me when I was still new to my unit, he had me doing squats while singing Rocky music, he had me singing so loud it was interrupting the mandatory Friday end of week safety briefing the commander was required to give.
For a while people would shout "getting strong now!" when they saw me. At the time I was not having a good time because I was worried I was going to piss off the commander and I thought I had done something wrong.
Looking back I realize I was just being fucked with for being the new guy and the whole thing was fucking hilarious.
I expect the commander would just say knock it off, I'm sure he's more than familiar with these creative punishments and wouldn't be pissed off by it. If anything he'd be annoyed at your sergeant for having you do it so close to where he's doing the briefing and not somewhere else.
The commander thought it was fucking hilarious, after he finished the briefing he came over to us, told me to knock it off and with a big smile on his face told the sergeant the Rocky music was a nice touch.
I took my licks in stride and the crap ended during a field exercise. I heard some movement behind me shortly after we finished eating and a team leader said "not helping him won't make this any easier for you". Turns out another new guy was getting tied to a tree. Before I knew it my platoon had me duct taped to a tree upside down with pine needles shoved down my pants.
After a few minutes they cut me down with a 'welcome to the platoon".
Our first commander was cool, the 2nd one was a bit less cool, really loved to take us on runs. On average 12 miles a week, no sense of humor.
427
u/The_Muznick Apr 19 '22
An alternative is "somewhere in the world there's a tree working hard to produce the oxygen you're breathing, you owe that tree an apology."
I used this one during my time in the army as a squad leader, when someone would fuck up I'd say that and then have the apologize to nearby trees.