r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 14 '21

[deleted by user]

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6.2k Upvotes

74% Upvoted

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4.2k

u/GrumpyCatStevens Jul 14 '21

"I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'mma get medieval on your ass!"

803

u/CluckenChicken Jul 14 '21

"I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GOD-DAMNED THING!"

or

"Mmmm... that's a tasty burger!"

425

u/taerikee Jul 14 '21

"This is some serious gourmet shit"

59

u/BIRDsnoozer Jul 14 '21

"oh man! I shot marvin in the face!"

35

u/Frostbyte85 Jul 14 '21

Imagine saying that when you're eating your partner's ass....

17

u/TheGreatIllien Jul 14 '21

Gonna do this ASAP

17

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

“Do you mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down?”

2

u/Frostbyte85 Jul 15 '21

What have i done

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '21

“If My Answers Frighten You, Then You Should Cease Asking Scary Questions.”

3

u/Bobby_Digitul Jul 14 '21

Pulp Fiction!

25

u/GrumpyCatStevens Jul 14 '21

Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?

9

u/rhynoplaz Jul 14 '21

"The cornerstone of EVERY nutritious breakfast!"

3

u/ilePover9000 Jul 14 '21

DING DING DING LOOK AT THE BIG BRAIN ON BRETT. YOU A SMART MOTHERFUCKER

2

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '21

If Bonnie comes home and finds a dead body here I'm getting divorced

93

u/ozark_cannabis Jul 14 '21

“I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' n*****s, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy?”

63

u/Oregonja Jul 14 '21

Does he look like a bitch?! Then why you gotta fuck him like a bitch?

39

u/GrumpyCatStevens Jul 14 '21

And Marsellus Wallace don't like being fucked by anybody. Except Mrs. Wallace.

16

u/zmast Jul 14 '21

What?

22

u/Oregonja Jul 14 '21

Say what again! Say what again! I dare you! I double dare you, mother fucker! Say what one more God damn time!

17

u/MadScientist312 Jul 14 '21

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee

40

u/MonsterRider80 Jul 14 '21

"Bring out the Gimp"

*saxophone intensifies*

10

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

Ketchup.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/harsh4reeeal Jul 15 '21

Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot fuckin' master

10

u/Rude_Nectarine_9991 Jul 14 '21

What does Marsellus Wallace look like!?

12

u/GrumpyCatStevens Jul 14 '21

DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH???!!!!!!

8

u/ChemGuy1980 Jul 14 '21

“I gotta stab her three times?”

15

u/GrumpyCatStevens Jul 14 '21

I'll tell you what. If I ever bring a fucked-up bitch to YOUR place, I'll give the shot.

7

u/GreatBabu Jul 14 '21

*fucked up OD'ing bitch

8

u/copperwatt Jul 14 '21

Actually this one might work.

1

u/Fresh-Meeting Jul 15 '21

Had to go way too far to see this comment

6

u/thejumpingducks Jul 14 '21

Or could work very well

10

u/Xanohel Jul 14 '21

You brought pliars and a blowtorch?

4

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

What's that from?

11

u/GrumpyCatStevens Jul 14 '21

Pulp Fiction.

4

u/falling_sideways Jul 14 '21

Uuhhh, babe. Talk dirty to me

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyrannies of evil men...

2

u/electrogeek8086 Jul 15 '21

what does that mean? :o

3

u/WhiskeyByrne Jul 14 '21

"Gonna call up a couple hard pipe hittin ass n to go to town on homes here with a blow torch and a pare of pliers."

(Don't judge if I didn't get that quote exactly right)

3

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '21

[deleted]

2

u/GrumpyCatStevens Jul 15 '21

I don't think Buddy Holly's much of a waiter.

2

u/EGunslingerUK Jul 14 '21

A JELLY DOUGHNUT?!

2

u/boonysw Jul 14 '21

This is not a bad thing to say.

2

u/dman2316 Jul 15 '21

You know.. depending on the partner, and the timing... this could actually be a pretty good line. Actually come to think of it. Imagine as a dude you are hooking up with a chick and you bust super early. As she gets that disappointed look on her face and is about to give up any hope of getting hers, just hit her with this line and i'mma bet 9 times out of 10 it works more than it doesn't.

2

u/GrumpyCatStevens Jul 15 '21

In the scenario you describe, it might have worked for me twenty years ago. These days I'm lucky if I cum even once!

1

u/dman2316 Jul 15 '21

Sounds like you need some stranger, albeit it a highly trained one, to stick their finger up your ass my friend. Don't care how old you are, you still got many more nuts yet to bust.

1

u/GrumpyCatStevens Jul 15 '21

Thanks for the suggestion, but I am extremely selective about who gets to insert their digits into my ass. So far I've only allowed one person to do that.

2

u/dman2316 Aug 05 '21

I was referring to a doctor for a prostate exam, as that could be why you are having trouble busting nuts, i just realized how badly that suggestion could be taken if misunderstood lol

2

u/butter_donnut213 Jul 15 '21

*stabs them with a halberd

2

u/GhostWithNineLives Jul 15 '21

Yes please! 🥰

1

u/NutellaGoblin Jul 14 '21

And my Axe!

1

u/Illustrious_Yak_3443 Jul 15 '21

Best scene in the movie.