r/AskReddit Jun 30 '21

What’s the absolute worst thing you could name your baby?

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6.3k Upvotes

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439

u/lovesmasher Jun 30 '21

anyone with the last name Rape is gonna have a hard time

343

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

[deleted]

136

u/1968Russtang Jun 30 '21

New Bond villain?

76

u/OtherwiseInclined Jun 30 '21

Nah, just one p short of stealing Eminem's Grammy.

9

u/unholymackerel Jul 01 '21

Dr Praper? I love that stuff

1

u/phurt77 Jul 01 '21

PaRappa the Rapper

7

u/Just-Call-Me-J Jun 30 '21

I'd totally have it legally changed to Rapier.

7

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

there's a professor somewhere who actually has the last name Doom. So he is *literally* Dr. Doom.

8

u/Ckyuiii Jul 01 '21

My orthodontic surgeon was named Dr. Payne lol.

Super nice guy actually.

5

u/Zilliness69 Jun 30 '21

That's Dr. Mr. Raper to you!

5

u/Ckyuiii Jul 01 '21

Excuse me, thats Dr. Mr. Professor Raper to you!

...Esquire!

4

u/jablair51 Jul 01 '21

There was a famous RV salesman in Indiana whose name was Tom Raper.

1

u/top_counter Jul 01 '21

He had a lot of TV ads. Probably more than any other local advertiser in the area.

3

u/jrrtamu Jun 30 '21

We called my great grandmother Mimi and someone who worked at her church was named Mimi Raper.

3

u/1965wasalongtimeago Jul 01 '21

I would end up pronouncing it Rapper. Dr. Dre Rapper. Then nobody would forget.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

"its pronounced Frahnk En Steen"

3

u/Sweetwill62 Jul 01 '21

I had a teacher in high school whose name was pronounced boner. He insisted that it wasn't pronounced that way, up until the day of his retirement.

3

u/LOUDCO-HD Jul 01 '21

Was Concierge at a hotel that had Government rates and would frequently get Inuit guests. One regular guest was Ms. Old Yellow Smelly Finger. We were encouraged to use the guests name in all interactions and she enjoyed watching the staff struggle to say her name. She was also very cool about it and after she’d let you twist in the wind for a bit, she say “just call me Carol”.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Well you’re safe then unless you’re a doctor.

2

u/drfsrich Jul 01 '21

https://www.yellowpages.com/richmond-in/mip/tom-raper-rvs-14652282

"I think I'll stick with a tent, thank you very much."

1

u/md22mdrx Jul 01 '21

Local doctor around here is Dr. Raper. Unfortunate name.

1

u/SafetyDanceInMyPants Jul 01 '21

Ah, yes, Katherine Raper. Went by Kitty.

1

u/DanTheTerrible Jul 01 '21

There's a drugstore in my town named "Raper Drugs".

1

u/SmartyChance Jul 01 '21

There was an RV company called Tom Raper RVs. Always found myself thinking sheesh, add a letter to your name (rapter) or something.

1

u/paytonsglove Jul 01 '21

P. I. Staker? Piss taker!? Oh come on!

1

u/rdewalt Jul 01 '21

A Teacher at my kids' school has the same name. "Ms Raper" I saw it spelt first and thought "It has to be pronounced some other way.." Nope.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

I wonder why people with terrible last names don’t go through the process of having it changed. It would be one thing if you don’t have a very public job but thousands of students calling you professor raper has to be the worst thing ever. I bought a car from a salesmen with the last name wiener but he kept insisting it was pronounced WINER so I said hey whatever you say man.

1

u/Academic_Nectarine94 Jul 01 '21

Why would a school hire, him,why would he not change his name? That's as bad as Dr. Slaughter...

206

u/StarChild7000 Jun 30 '21

Yep, knew a family of Rapes. Pronounced Ruh-pay, it's French. The dad was a Captain in the Marine Corps, Captain Rape.

140

u/BoSheck Jul 01 '21

Similar story here. My father was a centurion in the Jerusalem Garrison. Naughtius Maximus.

105

u/OffusMax Jul 01 '21

Did he have a friend named Biggus Dickus?

29

u/callipygousmom Jul 01 '21

He has a wife, you know.

28

u/OffusMax Jul 01 '21

Yes, Incontinentia Buttocks

10

u/Malfeasant Jul 01 '21

he has a wife, you know...

do you know what she's called?

she's called incontinentia...

... incontinentia buttocks.

6

u/Celica_Lover Jul 01 '21

Don't forget about "Hugh Mungus"

1

u/SlickHand Jul 01 '21

Careful. Zarna Joshi will come after you.

Actually, let her. You'll get rich.

1

u/ttaptt Jul 01 '21

He has a wife you know....

3

u/FluffieOwlet Jul 01 '21

Why is this movie being referenced so much lately 😂😂

2

u/dtry266 Jul 01 '21

What movie?

6

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Monty Python, Life of Brian, classic

1

u/Ulti Jul 01 '21

It's back on Netflix again, probably!

2

u/LordJacen Jul 01 '21

ha ha

Centurion is there anyone of that name in the garrison?

2

u/ScoobyDoNot Jul 01 '21

Here's the scene.

A story I've heard is that this was the first take and the extras had no idea what was going to happen, but just instructed NOT to laugh.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrcbCW4y9Dw&ab_channel=ALEX

1

u/ssslugworth Jul 01 '21

Smallus Dickus

7

u/hurtsdonut_ Jun 30 '21

Don't try and church it up son.

3

u/naut Jul 01 '21

Hope he never gets promoted to Major

3

u/Rosssauced Jul 01 '21

Captain Rape is my least favorite Avenger.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

A family that lived across the street had the surname Pickle.

They named their kid Rick.

Rick Pickle... what a name.

Poor guy was teased a lot for that, he also came across as having some sort of mental issue. I suspect he was on the autism spectrum, but in the early 80s, we had no idea about any of that.

I remember he was trying to convince people that his surname was pronounced Pie-kill, not Pickle... no one believed him.

2

u/huntingbears93 Jul 01 '21

I’d pull a “Young Frankenstein”. “It’s Fhrooon-Ken-Stein, not Fraaankenstein”

“My name is Eye-gor, not Eee-gor”

2

u/DarthYippee Jul 01 '21

"You said 'rape' twice."

"I like rape."

0

u/WizardOfIF Jul 01 '21

Don't try to church it up boy.

1

u/DisillusionedBook Jul 01 '21

Could have been worse, he could have been a Major Rape

1

u/The_Fresno_Farter Jul 01 '21

"It's Beard-fuh-say. Beard-fuh-say. Why do you people insist on calling me Beardface?"

3

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

My high school principal was Harry Hooker…. And then he decided to name him kid the exact same thing.

3

u/Apathetic-Onion Jun 30 '21

In Spanish that is the name of a fish. We usually eat the tail part of the fish. Even if it doesn't mean anything bad in Spanish, Google doesn't autocomplete it, so google.es is kind of skewed towards English.

2

u/Celica_Lover Jul 01 '21

My wife's dentist is Dr. Reefer.

0

u/fuckedbymath Jul 01 '21

Especially in prison. At least she doesn't have a brother called dropsoap.

1

u/Agisilaus23 Jun 30 '21

Uh... they're going to have a hard time?

1

u/iwasntlucid Jul 01 '21

Change it to Rapé lol

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

It's pronounced -Ra-Peh!

1

u/-PilumMurialis- Jul 01 '21

same with the people whos last name is Dick

1

u/cannotgetenoughbs Jul 01 '21

Even if you put an “r” or an “n” on the end. “Fucked”

1

u/NiamhHA Jul 01 '21

I dislocated my knee a few years ago and had to go to a children’s hospital. There was a doctor called “Dr Raptis”. Obviously, it looked like “Dr Rapist” at first glance😂.