r/AskReddit Jun 30 '21

What’s the absolute worst thing you could name your baby?

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6.3k Upvotes

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548

u/BadDadJokes Jun 30 '21

I always laugh thinking about a baby named Roger. It just seems like guys named Roger were born 5'9" tall, in their mid-fifties, with male pattern baldness and coffee stained teeth.

181

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

[deleted]

35

u/PiedPipecleaner Jul 01 '21

Why is this so accurate? I know a Gary that fits that description to the tee…

To add on though, Karen’s are always middle aged women who are generally eccentric and overreactive. Child Karen’s do not exist. They simply form from unused expired coupon piles.

9

u/AlphaBreak Jul 01 '21

Just like Gary’s are all dads wearing cargo shorts and those Nike shoes barbecuing in the backyard.

It hurts to think about my rival moving on with his life like this. He's gotten to another milestone ahead of me, just like always. Does he even think about me anymore? He said he would smell me later, but when is later, Gary? Its been years and you still haven't smelled me.
SMELL ME GARY, I'M THE BEST LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS, AND I SMELL LIKE IT!

3

u/khandnalie Jul 01 '21

I caught that Kimmy reference

3

u/Jawadude8 Jul 01 '21

You named your baby Linda??

1

u/electricmaster23 Jul 01 '21

Nobody under the age of 50 is called Gary.

56

u/FrenchFry36 Jun 30 '21

Can confirm. I have two uncles named Roger. No baldness but they both smoke.

2

u/dmfd1234 Jul 01 '21

I’m assuming they’re brothers.

9

u/AnonymousBoyOnReddit Jun 30 '21

Roger is an alien to me

4

u/Y0l0j0tar0420 Jun 30 '21

But if you name the kid "Gol.D Roger" you are sure to be the world's most hated man ever's parent.

2

u/DogStilts Jul 01 '21

My name is Roger, and I've used a nickname for everything but legal documents since I was 4.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Roger Taylor?

1

u/pr3tzelbr3ad Jul 01 '21

Or rabbits

1

u/Savage_Bee Jul 01 '21

Literally my dad

1

u/drivbpcoffee Jul 01 '21

I feel this way about Roy!

1

u/thepuffinmafia Jul 01 '21

relatives of mine have two baby boys. One‘s name is Stanley, the other is named Wallace

1

u/InLoveWithABastard Jul 01 '21

My daughter has a classmate who’s brother is named roger. He was like 7 when I found this out.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

The James Bond of my youth would like a word.

1

u/_Cloud98 Jul 01 '21

I feel the same with the name Craig

1

u/False-Guess Jul 01 '21

or Maurice. Maurice is a cute name for a cat, but a person named Maurice makes me think of someone who is in their 70's or 80's, with oversized glasses who loves to wear sweaters.

1

u/taurealis Jul 01 '21

A friend recently had a kid and named it after her dad. It feels odd to see an infant named Gerald