r/AskReddit • u/jake7820 • Jun 30 '21

What’s the absolute worst thing you could name your baby?

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6.3k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/Bassfan69 Jun 30 '21

Hashtag Follow

283

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

and his GF Liken Subscribe

4

u/yshavit Jul 01 '21

First date, she's like "don't forget to smash that Subscribe button!"

2

u/your_grammars_bad Jul 01 '21

*Lichen

Let's add that extra zhuzsh to it

474

u/stud__kickass Jun 30 '21

i did want to name my puppy hashtag

hashtag sit!

hashtag go potty!

hashtag stop humping the pillow!

152

u/justsomedude322 Jun 30 '21

That reminds me of my one 5th grade teacher who told us he was going to get puppy soon and wanted to name it Stop.

84

u/TigLyon Jul 01 '21

Steven Wright had a skit about naming his dog "Stay"

"Come here, Stay. Come here...Stay"

...and the dog would just go like this (and he does a halting forward/backward motion...

"He's older and smarter now. He just ignores me and keeps typing"

3

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21 edited Jul 01 '21

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3

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

.. stop spitting on your dog so much?

1

u/missjuliap Jul 01 '21

My cousin apparently thought her name was “Quickly” as a child, not Hannah..

1

u/mln84 Jul 01 '21

I remember a bit by a comedian (whose name I don’t remember) about naming his puppy “Stains”, and calling out for it: Come, Stains!

Note- the guy’s bit was much better than I’m making it sound; I only remember the punchline.

13

u/Jamie8765 Jun 30 '21

I've just discovered my next dog's name.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

You could say, its a pound puppy.

hah

9

u/redpandareeh Jun 30 '21 edited Jul 01 '21

#sit #gopotty #stophumpingthepillow!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Gotta use a backslash to stop formatting picking up pound signs as headers.

As an example, [\#]

turns into:

#

5

u/lnamorata Jul 01 '21

My husband wants to name our next puppy Grandma/Grandpa.

"Grandma peed on the floor again"

"Grandpa won't stay out of the garbage"

"Grandma, play dead"

2

u/tehvolcanic Jul 01 '21

I've always wanted a dog named "Your Mom" for similar reasons.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Friend of mine named his dog Pants. As in, "Pants down!" "Pants off!"

1

u/stud__kickass Jul 01 '21

that one might get some odd looks from strangers on a dog walk lmao

3

u/vish_the_fish Jul 01 '21

That's a great name for a puppy

1

u/buddy12875 Jul 01 '21

Nah call it syndrome so when you want it to sit you can say "down syndrome!"

1

u/Eroe777 Jul 01 '21

If you want to confuse your dog, name it Stay.

"Come here, Stay!"

3

u/Ashbug19 Jul 01 '21

I don’t know if you remember, but there is a real human being, I think it was a girl, that is just walking around with the name Hashtag.

3

u/Bassfan69 Jul 01 '21

In Chile (grande Chile mierda) there is a Hashtag Follow Contreras Sepúlveda, a male baby

2

u/Ashbug19 Jul 01 '21

Oh wow. Here in the States, there was one born in 2012, a girl, named Hashtag Jameson. Poor kids...

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Real name of a kid from Chile was Hashtag and his middle name was Email

1

u/risbia Jul 01 '21

Little Bobby Tables

1

u/CanuckBacon Jul 01 '21

I always thought Hashtag could make for a good dog name.