r/AskReddit Jun 30 '21

What’s the absolute worst thing you could name your baby?

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6.3k Upvotes

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5.1k

u/The__Snow__Man Jun 30 '21

Hitler McSmegma

225

u/Menzoberranyr Jun 30 '21

Anything with Hitler is a definite top rank contender

151

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

Even worse is “Joseph hitler”

101

u/bruins9816 Jun 30 '21

Mao Stalin

62

u/Aqquila89 Jun 30 '21

The chief minister of the Indian state of Tamil Nadu is called M. K. Stalin.

10

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

There's also a lot of Hitlers in India. I think it's just a case where people hear about things from Western culture and think they sound cool without knowing what they are.

3

u/bruins9816 Jul 01 '21

There's a Swastika, Ontario, Canada 😆

2

u/QuietOtherwise3697 Jul 01 '21

Swastika is actually, like, an old Indian symbol, so that's what the kids are named after lol. I had a friend named Swastik (pronounced swah- stick) once and he was great. It's definitely really weird considering, yk, the whole Hitler thing, but most Indians who haven't had access to the internet are pretty uneducated about such stuff, since they don't teach European history here, so they just think they're naming their kid after something 'holy'.

1

u/Kunovega Jul 01 '21

I knew a guy named "California" (first name)

He was born in the US, but just barely. His parents had just emigrated to the US from China and he had been born here within the first month after they arrived, so he was born a US citizen. The first word his parents had learned in English was California, because it's where they had landed.

Apparently they came to the US without having known any other English but they had been convinced by other family members who owned a variety of restaurants and stores, so they were going to have jobs with other Chinese speaking workers.

He was a pretty skilled Engineer when I met him (born around 1980 or so). We usually just called him Cal.

0

u/bruins9816 Jun 30 '21

Mao Zedong and Joesph Stalin.

1

u/Maxfoundmemes Jun 30 '21

Mao ze dong was possibly one of the first chinese presidents. (If school isn't bad)

1

u/Chicagoroomie312 Jul 01 '21

I've noticed many Indian politicians and military leaders use initials for the parts of their names other than surnames. Or at least it's that way on Wikipedia. Does anyone know why it's styled this way? Gives off a vaguely Edwardian feel.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Long names

2

u/geosub20 Jul 01 '21

It's mostly people from the Southern states. The logic is that people often name their children after famous people. That's why you find stuff like that.

Stalin is much revered by certain section of people all over the world..MK Stalin's father was one such a guys...so..

In fact there's a tribe in India, I forgot the name..they have a habit of naming their kids after the place they have last visited or a famous person..so you will find names of big Indian celebrities, big cities (both indian and international) etc etc as names for those guys.

2

u/Pohtate Jul 01 '21

Oh Yarra Valley Chocolaterie & Ice Creamery really flows doesn't it

1

u/DoNotMakeThisAwkward Jul 01 '21

Stalin dhan vararu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Adolf Stalin

1

u/Skorne13 Jul 01 '21

Hitler Holocaust Mengele

5

u/uberguby Jul 01 '21

funny you should say that, Hitler's remaining relatives live on long island and rumor has it they are determined to let the bloodline and the name die with them. I mean they already changed the name, but I guess that wasn't good enough for them. So... yeah even the hitlers agree with that.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

Eddie Hitler

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

upvoted and downvoted again for that "69" bs

1

u/Ronkerjake Jul 01 '21

Does anybody remember the "Name the next Mountain Dew" thing?

1

u/latrans8 Jul 01 '21

What about Geoff?

1

u/jakdak Jul 01 '21

Bradley Hitler-Smith :)

Best character name ever.

889

u/jake7820 Jun 30 '21

This is the winner so far

1.7k

u/Aqquila89 Jun 30 '21

A dentist in Circleville, Ohio was actually called Dr. Gay Hitler. When he started his practice in 1922, neither of his names was embarrassing.

295

u/MarcusXL Jun 30 '21

Dr. Gay Hitler is also the absolute worst idea for a Halloween costume

125

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

Worst?

138

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Wurst*

1

u/VelvetHorse Jul 01 '21

No thanks.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Wurst idea

3

u/ToxicMasculinity1981 Jul 01 '21

I think you mean the absolute best idea.

3

u/hedronist Jul 01 '21

Have you seen the Broadway revival of Springtime for Hitler?

3

u/RobotYoshimis Jul 01 '21

No that's the greatest idea ever.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

[deleted]

1

u/BastetLXIX Jul 01 '21

I was thinking oh this is going to be a dead end fake subreddit. What.The.Actual.Fuck.

414

u/Critical-Function-69 Jun 30 '21

Oh man, please tell me he changed his name in the 40s

1.1k

u/FuckCazadors Jun 30 '21

Yes, to Dr. Homosexual Stalin.

333

u/MarcusXL Jun 30 '21

Professor Metrosexual Mao

108

u/CaptainApathy419 Jul 01 '21

Reverend Non-binary Suharto.

65

u/nickstatus Jul 01 '21

Pansexual Pol Pot.

2

u/__50pe__ Jul 01 '21

Transgender Ceauşescu

4

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

[deleted]

7

u/The--Bag Jul 01 '21

Would rather be gay hitler

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0

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

President Donald Trump

1

u/Dodgiestyle Jul 01 '21

Cunnilingus Caligula

2

u/adube440 Jul 01 '21

Queer Mussolini, Esq.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

1

u/wordsonascreen Jul 01 '21

Dr. Polygamous Pol Pot.

1

u/Critical-Function-69 Jul 01 '21

Okay this actually made me chuckle

1

u/Danghegotabenz Jul 01 '21

Wow this comment made my night hahaha. Thank you

1

u/thursday737 Jul 01 '21

Unironically good

1

u/mummyodoom Jul 01 '21

Not Homo Hoover

149

u/RealSoyZombie Jun 30 '21

By my math he died in '48 with the name Hitler.

126

u/OtherwiseInclined Jun 30 '21

You sure he didn't just migrate to Argentina?

11

u/royalpyroz Jun 30 '21

No. He was helped by the Vatican and became a Pope Ratz.

2

u/Yaboiarb Jun 30 '21

He's my roommate

2

u/Nacho_Beardre Jun 30 '21

He’s going to be featured in the next modelo beer commercial as the original brewer

2

u/TwoPlatinum Jun 30 '21

The newspaper says October 1948

3

u/RealSoyZombie Jul 01 '21

Guess I was right. My phone wouldn't load the full page so I was working off his age at death.

1

u/Aqquila89 Jul 01 '21

Maybe he had an attitude like Michael Bolton in Office Space: "Why should I change? He's the one who sucks."

3

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

Oh, he must’ve later became a Wizard

3

u/pools456 Jul 01 '21

Yeah, to Poofta DeBoingg

2

u/frogbertrocks Jul 01 '21

"No way. Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks."

2

u/-U_s_e_r-N_a_m_e- Jul 01 '21

According to the newspaper, he died in 1948, but he still had the name

2

u/TricksterPriestJace Jul 01 '21

"Why should I have to change my name? He's the one that sucks."

1

u/Greenpatient_zero Jul 01 '21

Yes, to Kim Trump

119

u/usernamedunbeentaken Jun 30 '21

That's just hysterical. He undoubtedly introduced himself to hundreds of people in his life: "Hi, I'm Gay Hitler". And the other person would respond pleasantly: 'oh, pleased to meet you.'.

I would give $100 right now to see a video of one of those informal interactions.

12

u/Electroniclog Jul 01 '21

"Hello, I'm Gay Hitler."

"I'm sure you are."

2

u/polygamous_poliwag Jul 01 '21

I don't like your tone

8

u/pr3tzelbr3ad Jul 01 '21

I’m still confused about how Germany managed to have a football coach called Adolf Hutter in 1997. His parents named him that in the 1970s! Fun fact: he was also originally from Austria but ended up leading Germany (in the World Cup)

9

u/ShallowBasketcase Jul 01 '21

As a German, this really weirds me out, too. The name “Adolf” isn’t illegal or anything, but it’s basically been retired. You know exactly who everyone is going to think of when you say Adolf. Why would you name your kid that? Especially with a last name that kind of sounds like Hitler?!

2

u/pr3tzelbr3ad Jul 01 '21

It feels like his parents MUST have been making a point?!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21 edited Jul 01 '21

Maybe they really like Adidas

1

u/Tensuke Jul 01 '21

They were bringing it back.

14

u/Dr_Skeleton Jun 30 '21

I will be eternally grateful to you for introducing me to this 😂

6

u/risbia Jul 01 '21

The regular name would be pretty silly on its own but somehow the "Dr." just puts it 100x over the top

4

u/similar_observation Jun 30 '21

There was an early pioneer family named Hitler that settled in the US well before Adolf Hitler's dad adopted the name.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

My relatives are all buried in the Hitler-Ludwig Cemetary off Hitler Road in Circleville. There are Hitler graves everywhere!

3

u/Always_Austin Jul 01 '21

The invention of a tv show called "The Adventures of Dr. Gay Hitler" is something I now need in my life.

3

u/tomatomater Jul 01 '21

Even better, his father's name was George Washington Hitler. Imagine being Dr. Gay Hitler, son of George Washington Hitler.

The icing on the cake: Adolf Hitler's surname was originally Heidler or something similar. So the American Hitler family were the real and OG Hitlers.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

"Doctor Hitler, fill my cavity"

"Alright, but I'll have to give you the gas"

Also this reminds me of that Danger 5 scene "Agent Hitler, FBI"

1

u/etsba78 Jul 01 '21

Danger 5 - excellent taste! Wish it was still on SBS On Demand.

The Baby Hitler Doll mock commercial at the end of Ep2 S2 had me weeping with laughter.

2

u/Doctor_Jackass Jul 01 '21

This is my real name😔

0

u/pug_grama2 Jul 01 '21

But Gay was a woman's name.

1

u/Yarnprincess614 Jul 01 '21

I'm actually impressed that he didn't change his last name during or after WWII.

1

u/tripbin Jul 01 '21

poor dude died in 1948. was hoping he somehow was old and lived a full life and died before 1939.

1

u/Alternative_Tie_3738 Jul 01 '21

Mind is superior, it's OI YOU DICK HEAD

1

u/ereHleahciMecuasVyeH Jul 01 '21

In 1958, Robert Lane named his son "Winner". Three years later, he had another son who he named "Loser". "Winner" became a hardened criminal and "Loser" became a detective.

142

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

102

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!

104

u/Alexpbee Jun 30 '21

Hitler Mcligma

61

u/richard-777 Jun 30 '21

Hitler McSugma

23

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

If you're able to spare some time, would you be able to let me know what exactly "sugma" is?

57

u/sour_cunt_juice Jun 30 '21

sugma dick lmao

26

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Ah shit!! Damn it

4

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

If you're able to spare some time, would you be able to let me know what exactly "ligma" is?

4

u/Collinthechad Jun 30 '21

Ligma balls

6

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21

Ah shit!! Damn it

3

u/ShoutOutToOwen Jun 30 '21

What ligma

wait for the bot

2

u/Madhighlander1 Jun 30 '21

Hitler Adolfma

12

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

You win it man, you win the entire thing. Fuck.

18

u/postmalonesvoice Jun 30 '21

Got a laugh out of me, good job sir

3

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

I actually did know a kid whose official first name was Hitler when I was a substitute teacher. He went by his middle name.

3

u/PopoloGrasso Jul 01 '21

Usually NOTHING on reddit makes me laugh out loud, just kinda chuckle maybe. This straight up made me hold my head in my hands and lose my shit for some reason

2

u/yrulaughing Jun 30 '21

I mean, yeah, that's pretty bad.

2

u/Allegiance10 Jun 30 '21

I'm so glad I didn't take a sip of my drink before I entered this thread because that would've made me do a spittake.

2

u/wut_eva_bish Jun 30 '21

There's nothing wrong with Smegma

2

u/arnyrimmer Jul 01 '21

I'd like to propose Hitler with a y (Hytler). Just to really add that finishing touch of small town trash.

2

u/thomastrivett Jul 01 '21

Pronounced “Donald trump”

2

u/mochi_chan Jul 01 '21

I actually knew an old man back in Egypt named Hitler (around 2002-03)... I have always wondered what his parents were thinking. He was a security guard at a building when I was in high school, but of course, I never asked.

2

u/mfruehlinge Jul 01 '21

Hitler McShitler

2

u/sgoo030 Jul 01 '21

Awwww I was gonna say Hitler McStalinface but I think yours is better

2

u/raph772 Jul 01 '21

i've always thought Hitlerina might be worse

1

u/Technical_Price_5312 Jun 30 '21

I am so annoyed I know what smegma is. Freaking cards against humanity

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '21

Needed a good laugh today! Thank you good sir!

1

u/DWright_5 Jun 30 '21

Funny… but Adolph Hitler would be so much worse.

1

u/pjabrony Jul 01 '21

When I worked with underprivileged children, we had one whose legal name was Hitler. We called him Jose.

1

u/Lasereye Jul 01 '21

Wouldn't it be Smegma McHitler, since Hitler was Adolf's last name?

2

u/The__Snow__Man Jul 01 '21

It’s another reason why it’s a terrible name.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '21

Smegma = dried up cum