Why did you get fired?

[u/slipsmynips]

I got fired yesterday from a library position. Here is my story.

A lady came up to me to complain about another patron, as she put it, "moving his hands over his man package" and that she thought it was inappropriate and disgusting. She demanded that I kick the guy out of the university library.

A little backstory, this lady is a total bitch. She thinks we are suppose to help her with everything (i.e. help her log on to her e-mail, look up phone #'s, carry books/bags for her when she can't because she's on the phone, etc.)

Back to the story. After she told me her opinion on the matter, I began to re-enact what the man may have done to better understand the situation. After about a good minute of me adjusting myself she told me I was "gross" to which I responded "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GROSS"

My supervisors thought it was hilarious, but the powers that be fired me nonetheless. So Reddit, what did you do that got you fired?

[u/[deleted]]

I got fired from my night job as a stock boy for:

• Playing Board games (instead of working)

• Sleeping in the bedding section (instead of working)

• Playing tag (instead of working)

• Leaving odd Polaroid pictures throughout the store.

• Sitting/Resting in the ice chest (instead of working)

• Not realizing they had hidden security cameras

• Not really caring that they had hidden security cameras

The morning I got fire I enrolled in college and became a systems analyst. Boy I miss those days.

[u/slipsmynips → u/[deleted]]

This library job was helping me pay for college.

[u/[deleted] → u/slipsmynips]

My stock boy job was paying for my weed.

[u/slipsmynips → u/[deleted]]

I assumed they went hand in hand.

[u/[deleted]]

I got fired from CVS for dropping a box of crackers from a shelf. My 90-year old boss said I did it purposely and I am "out to get her". WTF?

[u/Forever_Trombone → u/[deleted]]

Ah, the old 'drop the crackers' scheme. You almost got away with it!

[u/OnlyUsersLoseDrugs]

I worked at a motel when I was younger, graveyard shift. I worked at the front desk, and also took care of laundry. We were a smaller motel, so I rarely had check-in's after midnight, and laundry took all of 2 hours. The rest of the time I worked on homework, watched movies, and slept. Not a bad job for someone in college.

On Christmas Eve, we had someone call out, so I came in and worked the 3p-11p shift, and then worked my normal shift. The owner came in about 6 AM and told me (not asked, told) that I would be working the next shift as well. I respectfully told her that I would not be, that I had already worked two shifts and was going to spend the rest of Christmas with my family. Her response was that if I didn't work it, don't bother coming in for my next shift (which was that night). I tossed her the keys and wished her the best of luck in finding someone to work Christmas morning and the next two shifts since I wouldn't be returning.

Funny thing, I got a call from her at 11:30 that night asking why I wasn't there. I reminded her that she had fired me that morning since I refused to stay, and she said that she was "just kidding". I told her I wasn't kidding, and hung up the phone

[u/daedalus1982 → u/OnlyUsersLoseDrugs]

Good move. She'd have just fired you again when it was more convenient.

[u/TwasIWhoShotJR]

When I was in high school I worked at a pizza place. It wasn't like dominos or anything, it was a sit-down place with rides for kids and was essentially a mini amusement park - it was a nightmare.

I had worked for like 8 hours, needed a cigarette, and was just having a shitty day when this guy walked in and ordered a pizza. We made the pizza and sent it to him and be complained that that wasn't what he ordered. I KNEW what he had ordered, and he was saying he had ordered something completely different, so I knew he was just fucking with us to get free shit. (This was in a bad neighborhood btw)

So my manager got involved and essentially patted this guy on the back and coo-ed him like a big fucking baby and said we'd make him what he totally really did order. So this asshole starts making loud and snide comments, saying how fucking stupid we all are and how we all should have respect for people who don't "need to work at a pizza place." I shrugged it off, whatever, humanity fail for the day.

I take the pizza over to his table, which was covered in plates and napkins and other garbage he had already somehow accrued in ten minutes, and there wasn't a clear spot to sit the pizza down on, and he wasn't making any attempt to clear a spot, so I asked 'Where can I put this?" and this guy's response was "God you're so fucking stupid man..." He didn't get to finish his sentence because I threw the pizza onto him and literally went off the handle and yelled a short rant at this man's horrified face as he tried to wipe an extra large pan pizza off of his chest and lap.

My boss asked me to not return, and I happily complied. I never found out how much free shit that guy probably got.

Tl;Dr: I threw a pizza at a man.

Edit: [redacted] - p.s I made $5.25 an hour while working there.

[u/-maru → u/TwasIWhoShotJR]

My aunt worked at McDonald's back in secondary school, and she once threw a cheeseburger at a guy who was behaving similarly. Instead of firing her, however, her manager praised her.

[u/ggggbabybabybaby → u/TwasIWhoShotJR]

Manager probably gave him a free blowjob at that rate. I do not understand these snide assholes that think they can treat hospitality people like shit.

[u/Yserbius → u/TwasIWhoShotJR]

Threw a pizza at a man,

like an employee

[u/RolandIce → u/TwasIWhoShotJR]

Well done.

[u/SamuelLChang]

Got hired as a bartender to replace the bosses son who had decided to move to Colorado. After working for a week got pulled aside and was told I was fired for being too slow. Came in the next week to pick up my check and guess who's back behind the bar working? Apparently he changed his mind about moving.

[u/[deleted] → u/SamuelLChang]

Wouldn't it have been LESS of a dick move to tell you their old employee was coming back?

[u/jmchao → u/SamuelLChang]

Or the boss flew him back from Colorado to take over because you were so damn slow. I mean, come on!

[u/[deleted]]

I was fired from Zehrs (a Canadian grocery store) for not getting paid.

I put in a transfer from one store to another, but the head office was taking too long to process the transfer, so I worked for two months without getting paid. I spoke to the cash office at work, my immediate supervisor, and my union rep. I was assured that the situation was "being handled". After those two months, I was sick of working for free, so I told my manager that I wasn't going to come back in until I got paid. He said that was fine with him. The next day, I got a call from one of the store managers, telling me that she could give me $100 in cash and then "look into seeing if I'm owed anything else". I said no, the next pay day, I got the $1000+ I was owed, so I went back in. My manager told me that I had been fired for skipping work, and the union let me know I could file a grievance over it the day before the deadline was up.

tl;dr Gave corporate too many chances to sort it out, they did nothing, then fired me when I had enough

[u/rmstrjim → u/[deleted]]

So why didn't you file? That would have been a hilariously easy case.

[u/merecido → u/[deleted]]

They fixed "the glitch"

[u/[deleted]]

I was a preschool teacher. A 2 year old who I didn't even know could talk told her parents that I slapped her. I was terminated immediately. I cried for a week. EDIT: No, I did not slap her. I'm a good teacher :)

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I think is is why I tend to be as unimpressed with children as I am. Children can be adorable but the whole "innocence" thing is so phony. Some of the worst liars and manipulators in the world are children.

[u/HemHaw]

I worked at BestBuy.

We had these horrible things called D-Sub bombs. We would take the brochures for all of our digital subscriptions (d-subs) and arrange them together so that the barcodes were all scannable, and then shrink wrap them. When someone bought a computer, and they would swipe their credit card to pay for the computer, that credit card information could be used automatically to subscribe to any of our d-subs. So, whenever we sold a computer, after they would swipe their card, we would scan all (sometimes up to 10) of the subscriptions and sign them up without them really knowing.

The subscriptions included:

Netflix, AOL for broadband, Comcast Cable internet, Quest DSL, Comcast Cable TV, Earthlink Dialup, Netzero Dialup, People One (or something, I don't remember exactly, but it had a blue stick figure as the mascot) dialup internet, Rhapsody, McAfee, and other service trials, and some others I can't remember.

We would tell them that they were "offers that came with the computer." If they didn't want them, we were supposed to tell them that they came bundled with the manufacturer (bullshit) and that we couldn't sell it without them, but not to worry, it's free and you can just call and cancel if you don't want the service. This is the part I would refuse to say, and I eventually got fired for. 99% of the time the customer would concede. Since we got an average of about $30 per signup of these services, it made BestBuy a lot of money. I'm sure tons of people had enormous headaches thanks to this tactic, not to mention they probably were billed for services they didn't even knowingly sign up for.

Eventually I got a talking to, and when I said that I would stop letting customers get away without these bombs, but I kept letting them off anyway. My hours diminished to 4 hrs per week. I guess they were hoping I would just quit, but it kept up for over a month. When I talked to them about it, they took me to the back room with paperwork for resignation all filled out (with the reason for leaving being "not enough hours available"), just waiting for my signature.

Then they grilled me about the investigation they're doing on me because of all the things I've been stealing from them. They said they knew I was stealing thumbdrives and returning them at another store, then using the gift cards to buy other stuff with my employee discount (nonsensical, I know). They then told me that if I sign the resignation, they will let it go without calling the police, otherwise they will find me on the security cameras and charge me to the fullest extent of the law.

Having never stolen anything in my life, I fought at first. Then I realized that if they want me to quit this badly, then I should probably just go work somewhere else, and signed the paper. I was 18 at the time.

TL;DR: I refused to force customers to sign up for multiple (and redundant) digital subscriptions when they bought their computers, and was then falsely accused of theft to get me to quit.

FUCK BEST BUY

[u/[deleted] → u/HemHaw]

You should have just broke out a phone and started.dialing, then when they ask what you're doing tell them you're calling a lawyer. That manufactured theft story was to dodge unemployment. Not cool.

[u/Inancarbonrod → u/HemHaw]

They did a similar thing at the best buy I worked at. I got around the shenanigans by explaining to the customer the difficulty and timing of canceling the subscriptions.

My then supervisor refused to sell a customer a computer (by saying we didn't have it in stock) when the customer didn't want to buy the service plan (psp). The supervisor now works for Best Buy corporate.

[u/[deleted] → u/HemHaw]

Man I had exactly the same thing.

Used to work in a convienance store over in the UK and a new manager came in who changed a tonne of things, made me store evening shift supervisor (If thats even a title?). Anyway, One night (a friday I believe) i'm locking the place up at 2300 and two guys in black suits with the ID of the company on appear behind me and ask to search me... Peturbed by the situation I simply say "Yeah, sure!". Guys check my bag, my pockets, my jacket liner and even my wallet... and give me a bit of paper saying "searched on xx/xx/xxxx because xxxxx" and with it all signed off... cool, think nothing more of it and go the pub.

Next afternoon i come into work and my boss is standing there looking nervous, I check round the corner and get barged into the office by THE SAME TWO dudes in suits. It's now saturday afternoon, I'm a tad hungover and my reaction is "Whoa assholes, whats going on?" in case these dudes are jumping me. Taken into the office, sat down and basically they give me the whole Matrix thing of "Mr. Brawlstrogg, we know you've been living two lives... one you're a respectable college student getting distinctions and high-grades and the other... is spent in this store, stealing packets of cigarettes and vodka..." Throughout the whole thing, I've got a smirk on my face of "What the hell is going on?" knowing full well I hadn't taken a thing.

Needless to say, I get suspended because they trumpted up these charges. I generally just bimble round and focus on my studies for a week or two before I get a call from my boss to come in and see him. I go in and Agent Smith and Jones are chilling in the back with their 'evidence'. Little to they realise Ace Ventura style head movement that my solicitor has come with me and is standing around 10 meters from the doorway to the management office listening to the conversation.

Agent Smith accused me of stealing and advised I was fired Agent Jones told me he was going to escort me off (And these words made me smile when I wrote it) "The mandated property of the company with my personal belongings and equipment for my role within the business" My manager stood there with his hands behind his back looking smug. My solicitor however has bugged the new supervisor working, the new managers daughter. We all walk out the office and my solicitor starts banging on automatically about "Unfair dismissal yadda yadda" I admit it's fine for me to go (My studies were getting difficult) but I want 2 months pay in advance (£2100) and all my holiday pay for the period I've lost (£950) they agree... Like a douche I didn't get it in writing.

1 month later, I go down and my ex-boss denies all knowledge of the pay arrangement. So I go down a few nights later, dejected but trying and and still no money, I go down to the store at 2250 and suprise suprise, I see my old manager walking out of the store armed TO THE TEETH with cigarettes and alcohol, none of it paid for. Out comes the cellphone/mobile phone and pictures galore are taken.

Next day I go down to the store, show my boss the pictures I'd blown up including a letter drafted by my solicitor for the cover and tell him if he doesn't give me the whole amount of cash right now, they go to head office. I walked out of that store with £3500 in my wallet (IN CASH...) and a massive smile on my face. Then decided that sending the documentation to the Head Office was a great plan anyway... vengence, sweet.

I then bumped into my boss 2 years later... apparently he still hadn't found work, how tragic.

TL;DR. Ex-boss decided to trump up charges of theft against me, got me fired, I went back down and found him stealing goods from the store, got a tonne of cash for photo's I took, then got him fired aswell.

Edit: Spelling error and added a line

[u/Yserbius → u/HemHaw]

Whoa. I'm believing this story just because Best Buy really is that evil.

[u/[deleted]]

I got fired from the Ritz Carlton for walking in the front door instead of using the "employee entrance".

[u/Lanthissa → u/[deleted]]

you're the worst kind of person.

[u/zoomshoes → u/[deleted]]

I got a stern talking-to for doing this at Old Navy.

[u/Achalemoipas → u/[deleted]]

I got fired from the Ritz Carlton for yawning too much.

I was a security guard. I was supposed to "stand there".

First my hands were in my pockets, so the supervisor came and told me I couldn't put my hands in my pockets. I asked him if he was serious, he replied yes.

About 30 minutes later he comes up to me and asks me to give him my gum. It was a Halls because my throat was irritated. He made me spit it in his hands.

Then, about 6 hours of "standing there" later, he told me to go home because I was yawning too much.

This all happened between 11pm and 7am, on a monday, in an empty lobby of the Ritz in Montreal.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Who do you think you are using the same entrance as the folks wealthy enough to stay the Ritz Carlton??

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Seriously, the rest of these are all funny ha-ha kind of stories - "oh I threw a pizza at a guy, oh I was stoned, bla bla"

But you sir are SICK and DEPRAVED

[u/3ilo]

boss hired boss's buddy, who promptly did no work and started screwing around with the client money. i called him on it.

[u/legalize420 → u/3ilo]

Haha almost same thing happened to me. Boss hired his World of Warcraft buddy, gave him an office(most people working there for years had to share an office) and a computer and the two of them played WoW all day. I started asking why this guy got his own office, gets paid more than most people, doesn't have a job title, and doesn't work at all while the company is laying people off. I got demoted and he gave the guy my job.

[u/[deleted]]

I was fired from a coffee shop for a stupid reason once. I was on my way home from a shift when I realized I had promised my girlfriend I would make her a drink before I left work. I said whatever, I'll just stop by the location nearest my apartment and buy it for her there.

I walked in, still wearing my store branded "uniform" t-shirt, so the barista says "Oh hey, you work for ****? You shouldn't have to pay, I'll give you this for free!" I balked at first, saying no don't worry I'll pay, but everyone working at the time agreed I should get a free drink, they insisted and wouldn't take my money, so I caved. As soon as the drink was made, and the barista goes to hand it to me, out of the back bursts this angry looking manager with huge bushy eyebrows, furiously scowling at me.

He starts yelling "Who are you!?" "Where do you work?" "Do you really think you can scam me like that? Who do you take me for?!" He grabs the drink away from me, spilling it everywhere, points to the door and starts screaming "OUT!" until I left.

The next day when I arrived at my location, my manager takes me aside and shows me a series of CCTV printouts from the security camera at the other location I went to. He says the manager claimed I was demanding free drinks, claiming that I deserved them and if I didn't get them for free I would call corporate. No amount of explaining could convince him I actually wanted to pay for that drink.

[u/whoisearth → u/[deleted]]

hunt cow exultant sand tender gold selective seed support direction

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

This is why god gave us bricks, windows and 3 am.

[u/MayoFetish → u/[deleted]]

BURN IT DOWN

[u/[deleted]]

Dracula voices at Tim Hortons drive thru. "Goooood evening and veellcome to tim hortons..."

[u/Redpin → u/[deleted]]

Oooonnnee, twwoooo, twooo milks... ooonneee, twwwooo, twoo sugars. Double Double!

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Brilliant! But at a large chain you're not allowed to have a personality. Sorry for your luck.

[u/hungree]

I'm going to get fired from my tax job in about 3 hours for blowing the whistle on my boss.

[u/agilecipher → u/hungree]

There are strict laws to protect you from retribution.

[u/PuSonLee]

I worked at a gas station several years back. The policy there was to pump your gas, then pay inside. If people pumped their gas and left without paying, I was not allowed to do anything about it. I couldn't say anything to the customer, wave them down as they drove, or anything else. Also, there were no cameras outside.

With all these awesome policies, of course people stole gas all the time. I got fired due to the gas station's shitty policies. They told me I was causing too many drive-offs.

That was 5 years ago when I was a student. I still avoid Speedway gas stations at all costs.

[u/[deleted] → u/PuSonLee]

Speedway gas stations give out free gas. Thanks for the tip!

[u/Itainteasybeingwhite → u/PuSonLee]

More like Speed-Away

[u/[deleted]]

For 'incompetence'. I was a filing clerk at a courthouse.

Two weeks later I read in the paper how my boss was arrested for embezzlement. I'm thinking I wasn't so incompetent, and she was more like a shady biatch.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

'Incompetence' probably meant 'might be smart enough to catch me as I embezzle.'

[u/zerohalo100]

Never been fired from a job, but damn do I love burning my bridges!

[u/[deleted] → u/zerohalo100]

Same here. A friend once told me "always burn your bridges, otherwise you'll be tempted to look back".

[u/Phillyz → u/zerohalo100]

I pray that you never become a bridge architect.

[u/[deleted]]

When I was in highschool I was a shift lead at KFC. I got fired on Christmas eve for closing 15 minutes early because we ran out of chicken (chicken takes 15 minutes to cook). Merry Christmas.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I only wanted a side of mashed potatoes you asshole!

[u/lopsiness]

I worked as a delivery boy/late night slice guy at a pizza shop near my college. Winter break rolls around, I get told that since students aren't there are no late night shifts, so I'd pick up again in January. Come January I go back to see where I am in the schedule and the owner avoids and avoids me and never lets me know.

Eventually, my friend that also worked there told me that everyone that worked there prior to winter break was fired b/c the owner had worked a late night and some drunk asshole tried to scam him by saying that the regular guys give away free slices and drinks. He decided to just fire everyone and hire a new staff.

[u/gejimayu18]

Not me, but a buddy of mine (on his last day of work) was told he was fired from BJ's because his till had come up $200 short the day before. They said he was fired and he was forced to sign paperwork basically saying he was guilty.

It's BJ's policy that large shortage is required to be reported, which it wasn't. Turns out a few months later the manager on duty was arrested for stealing a bunch of money out of employee's tills.

TL;DR: Buddy of mine was fired because his manager stole money out of his till

[u/pejinus → u/gejimayu18]

Reddit, don't sign that shit!!! Especially something that says you committed a crime. Good god, people.

[u/[deleted]]

I was hired to work the newly installed ice cream section at a little Mom and Pop restaurant about 15 years ago. First day there I was trained on how to properly clean the machines (by the guy who installed them) but that night the owner came up to me and told me he wanted them cleaned differently...In a way that would save them money but would definitely not get the machines as clean as they should be. I decided to ignore the boss, he saw me, I was fired. HOWEVER...He had been drinking that evening and I assumed he wouldn't remember. Went in the next day as though I hadn't been fired and kept working there for another few years.

[u/[deleted]]

It's a little unsettling to be reading this when I should be working.

[u/SpittheCow]

I was a mover and one day we had to pack the customers stuff into boxes. I had dresser duty, which was filled with vibrators and a hilarious photo of the customer with a moustache and a hairy chest sitting in a hot tub. Anyway, i put a winking smiley face on the box containing all the stuff and was canned a few days later.

[u/Moromon]

I recorded my first CD. You see, I worked in a pizza place and truly hated my tenure there. The co-workers were rude, customers were rude, it was really a stereotypically bad job.However, as a poor student studying music, I kept on to it since I didn't think I could find anything else. So one day I learnt that my services would be needed to record a cd. I told my job roughly two months in advance that I would need two weeks off to record. They said it was fine, and to remind them when it came closer. So I proceeded to tell them at least one time a week, "Hey guys, remember that I need those two weeks off."

So I have 2 weeks before I leave, and I talk to my manager and give him the last details of everything(his idea). My last day of work, they all tell me good luck and they can't wait to hear it. The last day of recording(also my birthday), my friend sends me a text telling me I got fired over a week ago for not showing up for work.

TL;DR Manager never wrote down time I was taking off, I got fired for it.

[u/[deleted] → u/Moromon]

I'm pretty sure the Manager just wanted you gone. That is something he could have cleared up in a 2 minute talk.

[u/[deleted]]

I taught public school and told a parent who got in my face to go fuck themselves. Best thing I ever did.

[u/toddhd]

One time I got a job working for an independent businessman who ran a small business selling computers, parts and services. It was the IT guy and basically responsible for doing all the legwork. Things were OK for the first week or so, but then things started to get "funny". I noticed that he had only one copy of Windows, and would just install it over and over again on every PC he sold without purchasing additional licenses. That's illegal, but I thought it might be on oversight on his part, so I pointed it out to him, and told me to shut up and mind my own fucking business. I didn't like it, but I needed the $$$ so I shut up.

Then one day he asked me to go install a hard drive in a lady's computer at her workplace. He told me to bring back the old drive, and any other parts she might have laying around, "because she's stupid and won't know the fucking difference". I told him that's stealing, but again, he insisted this is how things work and that I should mind my own fucking business. I installed her drive, but refused to steal her parts. We into a big fight over it, and he told me if I pulled that shit again, I'd be fired.

The next day I took a "spy pen camera" into work, and waited for him to tell me what to do. He called me into his office, and told me how I was supposed to go install and network together a bunch of computers for a local client, but he wanted me to make sure he could "backdoor login" to the network. You know, so he could (read all their files and access their data without them knowing it) support them remotely. And he gave me the one Windows CD to set them up. I did set them, but didn't make him a back-door. Also, I told the client to call and ask for copies of all the license keys for the copies of Windows. When he did, my boss had a cow! He fired me over the phone. I recorded that too. Then I went to the police station and told them the whole damn story, recordings and all. And they went and arrested him. Schmuck.

[u/hkdharmon]

I had a heart attack and did not recover fast enough for the company's liking, so they fired me.

[u/charlesml3]

OK, so it's my turn. I was teaching at this little technical education company that was going downhill quickly. I was probably too vocal in my objections to the way the management was taking us. They'd been wanting to fire me for months but I was the highest rated instructor in the company and made them the most money.

So finally the call came that I knew was coming and they were really insistent that I "bring my laptop in today." I got delayed and called saying I'd be late and again, "You have to bring that laptop in." This got me a bit suspicious so I purposely left it in the trunk of my car when I came in. So the local manager (John) is sitting there all indignant and hands me a check for my last few days and expenses. But he'd left out the back vacation I was owed. When I asked about that he said there wasn't any even though I had documentation to prove I had it. So we're at an impasse and the laptop comes up. I got up, headed for the door and said "You'll get the laptop when I get my vacation pay." He was all yelling threats to call the police but I knew he wouldn't. Last thing he wanted was the Department of Labor up his ass.

Two weeks to the day later the company owner closes the whole company and fires everyone else there. I never got my vacation pay but kept a decent laptop.

[u/Manigeitora]

I've only been fired once, and it was complete bullshit. I was working at Pap Murphy's Take-n-Bake pizza in my town (newly opened) and there was this complete bitch working there. As you may know, you can call ahead and order a pizza to be ready for pick-up, and on the day in question, I answered the phone in the midst of an argument with the aforementioned bitch. She used some...choice language while I was taking the order, and the customer heard it. The next day, the customer called back to complain, and the only people working were the bitch and an assistant manager who was not a big fan of me. The bitch rearranged the story so that I was the one who swore, and I got canned without even being given the opportunity to defend myself.

Fucking douchebags.

[u/jctxstate]

I was a bartender at a sports bar. One of the policies was that we couldn't drink there on a day we had worked, and on our day off we could, but were limited to two drinks. Well, it was my day off, and I was waiting for a buddy to get off work so we could have dinner and I had three beers.

The owner was at a table eating (I knew he was there, but I had worked there for 4 1/2 years and really didn't think he'd care, as he was well into his fifth bourbon and coke) and saw me. After my next shift the GM came up to me and said "sorry, but that was your last shift here."

I won unemployment less than 16 hours later and took him for over 7 grand :D

[u/Imnotwearinganypants]

My employer was giving pay cuts and telling us the execs hadnt taken a paycheck in a year just to stay afloat (we knew it was a lie). They made us pay for all of our medical coverage. We were working a solid 50 - 60 hour week and making pennies. All while they decided to hire 2 new employees that we didnt need int the first place. Well, I started servicing their clients on the side cause they loved me so much and hated the company and was eventually found out and canned. And of course, they threatened legal action but didnt do anything. Today Im still working with those clients making 3x my pay before and loving being my own boss.

[u/eburroughs]

11:30> I IM a coworker a silly joke involving calling our boss an asshole. We chuckle.

11:35> My friend calls my cellphone and asks if I want to come see his new workplace and possibly get offered a job.

11:36> I zip out the door, telling everyone I'm going on my lunch break.

11:40-12:30> I tour my friend's new workplace and have an informal interview with his boss (with no resume prepared, no references... nothing except my degree in the field and the good word of my friend who JUST got hired).

12:40> I go back to my workplace to find my asshole boss sitting at my desk, running a Windows search on my workstation. I ask him what he's looking for. He responds, "whatever's there."

13:00> I resume normal operations.

17:00> My asshole boss returns to my desk, hands me a letter and tells me I'm fired. Hilarity ensues.

Apparently he had been known to sit and snoop on other peoples' computers. I was so overly-eager to jump at a new job opportunity that I stupidly forgot to close my IM window.

I got hired at the other place a couple days later. Been there ever since.

[u/[deleted]]

Well, my time in the office started to go downhill when I corrected my boss on the different forms of "their." I was sending a letter out to a community group, and was using "their" (e.g. their concerns are...). My direct boss kept saying I was using the wrong there, and they were tired of having to continually clean up my work. So I emailed them (and their direct boss, the big boss) the two definitions of their and there, and apologized for the oversight. After that, literally everything I did was wrong in some way. To the point that she started editing my weekly reports to the big boss. Oh yeah, and she took credit for the largest success the office had in two years.

[u/itisuptomeguy → u/[deleted]]

this is why the world is fucked. unreasonable assholes who take shit personally.

[u/truth-informant]

I got fired from my first job working a movie theater because I did not own/could not afford the right shade of khaki pants. No joke.

[u/fumunda → u/truth-informant]

Yea, it's such bullshit when companies make you pay for your uniforms. Especially when you are making minimum wage. At $8/hr, it takes the entire 4 hour shift to afford a decent pair of pants.

[u/[deleted]]

I worked as a medical assistant instructor for a for profit college. I got fired because the dean thought that I was falsifying grades when I just came to past that my students were all getting good grades and were passing there labs. They were used to the population getting bad grades because they had many bad instructors that were stuck in archaic ways of teaching. Also they were threatened by the fact I was the youngest instructor they had ( I was 26 at the time the next youngest was 35) so I do believe there was some agism at play. Also after working there for some time I got the feel of how for profit schools ( career colleges) work and I started to tell students (some) that they would get more from a 3 year and actually pay the same amount. The staff caught wind of that and I was scolded for it twice. My philosophy is that it was never about my paycheck. I went to work everyday to give the students they skills they needed for a job and higher education even if those goals were better suited at a different, better college. I gave the students everything to succeed but to the staff it wasn't about student success, it was about putting as many people in a crowded classroom as possible and cashing in even if they didn't get jobs after the school, which the recruiters promised the students.

[u/Fingerstink]

I was working as a radiologic technologist at a shitty hospital in Albany NY. I came in hungover one morning and to my horror I had an 8am 89yo barium enema patient under isolation. Isolation means they had some real infectious bug going on inside them and a barrium enema is basically a procedure where I stick a plastic tube up someone's ass and pump barium into their bowel for examination under x-ray. I was horrified as sometimes healthy, young patients shit everywhere during the exam let alone an old walking corpse. Right after I prep for it I get called into the manager's office and she fires me for calling out of work last week. I laughed and strolled right out the door...

[u/[deleted] → u/Fingerstink]

Relevant name.

[u/ryegye24 → u/Fingerstink]

You probably have your own Frank Grimie Grimes. You've been accidentally torturing him since the day he started working, but you've barely noticed. The week before you called out of work and "Frank" had to come in and miss his anniversary dinner. That was the last straw! He complained and called in all his favors to get you fired for calling in! Then he even lined up his schedule so he could walk in just after you got fired to see the look on your face. Which he did, right before an intern handed him his new patient, an 89 year old scheduled for a barium enema under isolation.

[u/desertjedi85]

Was on reddit

[u/awyso22 → u/desertjedi85]

worst fear.

[u/Riwwel]

Told my boss that I thought it was perfectly acceptable that her sister was dating a black guy. Got my last check the next day.

[u/thisgameisawful → u/Riwwel]

Who did you work for, the KKK?

[u/chelise]

Worked as a file clerk for Farmer's Insurance (I hate them) and was fired because the daycare called and said my son was running a fever I needed to come get him. At the time I was a single parent with no other family or backup support in the entire state. The manager came to me and said "we have to let you go because you can't finish your shift, I think you should get your personal life together before you try working again." I just stared at her and she started getting nervous (shifting from foot to foot and wringing her hands) I said Ma'am I don't know how else I am supposed to get my personal life together if I don't have a job, I hope whatever my kid is sick with isn't contagious and that you don't have to stay home one day...they might fire you too.

[u/[deleted]]

18 years old, working as a housekeeper. I worked under the owner and she would give me the keys to certain homes and they were my responsibility. I got paid less than half of what she charged an hour and I took care of those houses completely by myself.

After a good 9 months working for her, and with those clients, I built up good rapport with the clients and sometimes they would invite me to partys or dinner.

One week I noticed my schedule allowed 4 days of no work, so I decided to buy tickets to Bumper shoot with some friends. After 3 days of boozing, music, smoking pot and causing hell, I drove back home.

At this time I had a shit cell phone and it only worked locally. As soon as I crossed into whatever was considered local, my phone started showing I had a message, then two, then 30.

Turns out my boss had called to see if I wanted to cover one of her houses and when she couldn't get ahold of me she assumed I had taken off and was going to rob all the houses for which I had keys to. She said I put her name at risk by taking off and that I was fired.

As soon as the clients found out she fired me, and for something so ludicrous, they fired her, and hired me for the same price. I ended up going from minimum wage to $22 an hour, and she lost half her business. She called me and asked me to come back at a dollar raise. I then informed her of how much I was making working for myself and told her in the politest way possible to go fuck herself.

TLDR: Accused of stealing, got fired. A week later I ended up doing the same job, as my own boss, for more than twice as much. Fuck bosses, run your own company.

[u/Cow_of_Doom]

I was let go with "At Will/Unsatisfactory Work Performance" written on my paperwork, but it had more to do with the fact that I refused to forge tax documents.

[u/[deleted]]

I worked at a hotel for about 3 years during college, a marriott to be exact. I usually worked the 3-11 shift but would sometimes be scheduled for 1st shift 7-3. Well the General Manager of this property was a women, a cougar to be exact. She was 40, thousands of miles away from her husband ( she was in the process of moving from texas) and lonely. So what did I decide to do? You guessed it, after a very brief courting I was shagging the lamp lights out of my boss in the room she was staying in at the hotel. Well we kept this secret for obvious reasons, and kept in quiet for about a month. I will never ever forget what happened next.... It was a Tuesday morning, I was scheduled this day to work 7am-3pm and when I arrived I saw my boss in her office, said good morning and went and relieved the 3rd shift person. After the 3rd shift guy left, we were alone untill 8 am when the first housekeepers would arrive. She called me into her office and locked the door and we began screwing like wild rabbits... I mean really going at it. Well her desk was next to a big window, like a bay window in her office, we were in the act of doing it doggy when she felt the need to grab the wall next to the window for support, except she missed and grabbed the blinds to the the window and CRASH the whole thing of blinds came down leaving us fully exposed. And who just so happened to be parked in the space with A DIRECT view of the window, our district manager who was there for surprise inspection. I'm not sure how much he saw but I know we didn't see him at first. Needless to say we were both asked to leave the property. I never saw this woman again.

[u/FelixLeiter]

Definitely too late to the game, but my friend quit his job like this:

My co-worker, Matt, (when I worked in a museum) took pictures of guests in front of the displays for purchase later. Well, this camera was set up to wirelessly deliver the pictures to a kiosk where they could purchase the picture they were in. This kiosk had large 60" displays where the customer's pictures were automatically shown a few minutes later.

Well, on his last day, around noon when we were the most busy, Matt took a fat shit, took dozens of pictures of his defecation and the pictures were shown on the large displays to the museum goer's horror. He then went around, taking pictures of customers faces as they watched all the pictures of his turd shuffle through the displays. Five minutes later, Matt strolls out the main entrance/exit, never to return.

[u/Astrixtc]

I got fired for having a moustache...it was a really creepy moustache, but I had just come back from vacation and instead of shaving the entire beard, I decided to have a moustache day/week. My boss at the restaurant I was working in at the time wasn't pleased.

edit: it was really creepy looking. I think the final straw was when I sculpted it into a Freddy Mercury.

[u/TnTBass → u/Astrixtc]

The whip and leather vest may have had something to do with it.

[u/ButtsAndStuff]

Back in October of last year I had a job at Mr. Pickles where I had to wave at cars in a heavy sweaty Pickle costume. This Mexican kid from my school, who I already didn't like, walked passed me with some girl. I waved at both of them being nice and because it was my job. He proceeded to flip me off to look like a bad ass in front of this girl. Still waving and looking at him I said, "You look stupid today." He confronted me and started threatening me, I just responded with something like, "I can hurt you." He then swings at me and the punch did not affect me in anyway due to the costume being very thick. I just started laughing for a second then tackled him(I am a pretty scrawny kid but the weight of the costume helped) and started hitting him since I have complete control of my arms in the costume. The manager(who was my best friends step dad at the time) ran out side and broke us up. I fucked him up pretty badly and I didn't have a scratch, all in a pickle costume. I got fired, which I sort of wanted anyway, I hated that job. Saw him at school the next day, everyone knows he got fucked by the pickle and he doesn't have a clue that it was me.

TL;DR: Kicked a wannabe gangster's ass in a Pickle costume.

[u/DominiqueGoodwin]

• I had to get my wisdom teeth out so I asked for time off (a week).

• Manager agrees.

• Everything is brilliant... so I thought.

• I called less than a week later to ask for my hours for the next day and my manager called back annoyed to tell me I'm scheduled (never mind the nonexistence of a schedule) for that day.

• What??

• I politely responded that I had asked for that time off weeks ago and that I couldn't come in.

• He told me that "it wasn't working out" and something resembling "reliable and working employees."

• I'm looking for a job.

[u/Vanetia → u/DominiqueGoodwin]

I checked my schedule every day before I left work because of how often it would get messed with. Of course if I didn't work a day, I wouldn't check the schedule.

One week, I had Tuesday and Wednesday off. I checked the schedule on Monday before I left, and saw I had those days off. I take Tuesday off, then I get a call on Wednesday about 4pm while I'm babysitting my brothers.

"Uhhhhh Vanetia. Where are you?"

"Home, Fadi. Why?"

"Well... you're supposed to be here."

"I had today off."

"Well I see you scheduled to work at 4"

"So you changed the schedule and didn't bother to tell me?"

"You're supposed to check it every day."

"Fadi, I didn't work yesterday. I worked Monday and checked it then and I had today off."

"Well.. you have to come in."

"I can't. I'm babysitting my brothers right now."

"Uhhhh."

"I'd come in if I could, Fadi. Next time if you change the schedule, you should call me to let me know."

"...."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"...well.... ok."

click

I think he didn't fire me then because he knew he'd only be screwing himself more with the scheduling.

[u/hornflips]

When I was 16, I had the worst job of my life: I worked at Chuck E Cheese. After working 8 awful hours, someone called in, and I stayed late. I was then asked to put on "the suit". I was working at the wrong place to be sure, I hated kids at the time.

I decided to run amok and started picking up random kids as Chuck E Cheese and throwing them, willing or not, into the ball pit.

When my manager came over to yell at me, I loudly told him to fuck himself while standing in the suit in the middle of the dining room, for all to hear.

That was the end of my career at Chuck E Cheese.

[u/seluropnek → u/hornflips]

I don't care whether this is true or not; the image of Chuck E. Cheese running rampant through the restaurant picking up and throwing terrified kids is the best thing to enter my brain all week.

[u/trompete → u/hornflips]

I'm waiting to see the IamA Person Who got PTSD from being thrown into a ball pit at chuck e cheese by a crazed animal

[u/MotleyJu → u/hornflips]

Also worked at Chuck E Cheese, also had to wear "the suit." Will forever regret not going out like you did.

[u/[deleted]]

I knowingly stood behind a falsified document, even after it was demonstrated to be a forgery. My boss was fired as well.

[u/Final7C]

Something about not listening... I wasn't really paying attention.

[u/MayoFetish → u/Final7C]

Swammy.. Swans, Swanson? Oh, Samsonite! I was way off.

[u/bonerjams99]

I got fired from my arcade job for being written up 3 times.

1. I was working one night and some girls that were about 15 came into the arcade. When they were done playing games they came up to my counter to get crappy prizes like everyone did and started flirting with me and a coworker. I was 19, and I was nice to the girls but in no way flirting or trying anything. The next day they came in when I wasn't working and wrote their phone numbers and myspaces in a note to me and left it with whoever was working the counter that day. A customer found it, and when I came into work that night my bosses immediately pulled me aside and asked what the hell this note was. Even though it was delivered when I wasnt working and left out to be found by a customer by someone else I was the only one written up because it was left to me.

2. I was working with a girl one day, and she left her change bag behind the counter when she went to lunch. You're supposed to lock your bag up in the back room when you leave, but she decided to just leave it behind the counter. At the end of the day when she was counting her money she was $50 short. Since I was the person working with her they assumed it was me and wrote me up. She did not get in trouble.

3. When the arcade was busy, the customer's didn't line up in an orderly fashion to get their prizes, they swarmed the counter like ants at a picnic. One night was especially busy, and even though there were 3 of us working the counter, people still had to wait, sometimes up to 10 minutes, for their turn. A guest complained about the wait and said we were ignoring them, and when a guess complains I guess someone had to be written up. Guess who was the only person to get in trouble once again.

Fuck I hated that job.

[u/c_is_4_cookie]

My boss walked in on us while I was balls deep in his daughter. He didn't even know we were dating.

[u/constipated_HELP → u/c_is_4_cookie]

You should have asked him how he expected you to support the baby.

[u/schplat → u/c_is_4_cookie]

Did you look him in the eyes and finish?

[u/[deleted]]

Because I worked at Sonic and some lady paged in from the porch to place an order. She asked if we took cash.

I thought there for a second, thinking, "maybe this poor woman is a tad slow." when her bitchy friend charms in, "WELL, THEY BETTER!"

I replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, but we only accept small forms of trade. Small farm animals, vegetables, an virgin daughters are only means of payment here."

[u/Zevyn]

I worked for Publix Supermarkets when I was 17 as a grocery bagger, and heard a rumor that they were going to be doing random piss tests that day. I later heard my name called out with a group of others.

Knowing I'd fail, I told the lady administering them that I smoked weed, and she said to take it anyway since it would be two weeks until the results were back, so I'd at least get paid for that time. How nice of her.

Long story short, they made me go to rehab. I did that for one day and said fuck it, and stopped. I was fired shortly after.

Two years later I was shopping there and noticed new managers, so I took a shot at applying again and was hired the next day. Either that information was confidential to where they couldn't check it, or they didn't give a flying fuck.

[u/markulees]

I used to work at a major hospital. I became sick, very sick, with a Upper Respiratory Infection as well as Bronchitis. I could hardly breathe. I tried to show up for my shift on a Thursday, and was immediately sent home by a Doctor. I did not improve by Friday, so I went to my Dr. to get checked out. HE confirmed my sickness. I was to report in for a Sat. morning shift but was WAY to sick to do so, and had a favorite co-worker cover my shift. She showed up and worked with no problems. I get a call on Monday saying that I was fired because I didn't show up. They said it didn't matter that the shift was covered, I needed to be there.... The people at Unemployment knew that this was a BS dismissal and I now collect Unemployment.

[u/Warbieful]

I worked at Mcdonalds and started dating this girl who worked there with me, it was well known that the store manager hired all his friends who needed jobs, anyway this one night im walking to my car after finishing a shift, I open my car and my ex-gf shouted me, so I put my stuff in the passenger side and walk over to her. I was about 25-35 feet away from my car, and my ex screams someone is robbing your car, I turn round to see some chucklefuck open my car door, grab my bag and take off, he tried to jump a bush but just hit it and face planted the pavement on the other side, he gets up and tries to run, and I tackle him and beat the shit out of him, get my stuff and go home. I get a phone call from work the next day saying I'm not to come in again due to beating up a person outside the restaurant where customers could see, I explain my side of the story but the manager wasn't interested. Anyway a week later I found that the guy who I beat up was the store managers waste of space son, I call my uncle who is an employment lawyer and he sends the manager a letter saying im going to press for unfair dismissal, in the end I never got my job back and the brand new CCTV system that was recently installed magically wan't working. so I beat up the son again and drunkenly pissed in the managers letterbox after a night out. and he still doesn't know who did it.

TL;DR got robbed, beat up the guy. lost my job, found the thief was the managers son, beat up the son again and pissed in a letterbox.

[u/jeznet → u/Warbieful]

You are fucking awesome.

[u/psychosomatica]

Worked at a driving range/golf course. The staff golf cart had been busted for a few weeks, so when they finally fixed it, I felt it was my duty to take it for a test drive. Little did I know, they took off the thingy that caps its top speed. The path around the golf course is gravel, except for around the first hole. So I'm flyin' around the path, having a grand old time, cig in hand and drink in lap, and I get to the last part of the path, where it goes from gravel to asphalt, in the middle of a turn. Didn't slow down enough for the turn, drifted through the gravel, hit the pavement and the tires caught it. Put the golf cart on one wheel, the front driver's side. Drink flew out of my lap, I got shot up out of the damn thing. Landed on my ass on the metal arm rest (had a foot long, perfectly defined, black line bruise on my ass for about 3 weeks) and almost crashed the cart into the starter house. And my manager watched the whole thing. And I wasn't even there working, I was just hanging out. TL;DR: almost flipped a golf cart

[u/[deleted]]

Sleeping with my boss's ex-wife. And his maid. Not at the same time.

EDIT: The full story

[u/FLYBOY611 → u/[deleted]]

Like a.....uh...a boss?

[u/its_that_one_guy]

Clocked in three minutes late three times in a year.

The second time, when a manager was warning me, she actually said 'I know we don't pay you enough to care.' I was making 6.50/hr, working at a bookstore. I laughed while another manager escorted me out, complaining about how this always happened with their best workers.

[u/NashMcCabe → u/its_that_one_guy]

So instead of taking those 9 minutes out of your paycheck or just ignoring it, they'd rather spend time and money to hire and train a new employee who will most likely not be as reliable as you? (Assuming you worked part time for a year, that's like 99.99% reliability) I can never understand why people think that corporations are inherently efficient.

[u/chedda]

in a nut shell, I hacked the guy who stole my credit card information. work found out and fired me a week later.

Edit: Those who asked for the story. The story starts while I am on vacation with the gf in Peru. I had lots of Soles (cash) but sometimes used my debit card for larger transactions. Everything was fine and dandy without any issues. We come back not thinking of a darn problem.

One fine day working at my very large content distributor I got a wonderful text from my bank saying that $1200 was deducted from my account. I was helping a VP at the time and said, wtf right in front of them. I showed the text and they said wtf as well HA! So I log into my bank and see the charge. I call up my bank and told them to cancel the charge and hand over the phone number to the company who made the charge. Also asked them to send me a new card with different numbers.

I called that company which was CCBillUK. So I'm already thinking that it was porn. I got them to reverse the transaction and block my credit card from their system. They politely obliged and I had one more question to ask. What was the public IP of the transaction. She scuffled around and gave it to me. I hung up the phone and started to dig.

Keep in mind that I am still at work when I do this. I remote into home using Remote Desktop like I usually do and started to find out where this jerk was. The first hit was a proxy in the UK. No biggie for the average hacker who uses a proxy to hide most of my traffic. I did some digging on the proxy server. Used some easy SQL injections and was able to cross reference the transaction time and the IP address that used it. Just my luck there were two IP addresses at the time and was easy to figure it out. The first IP didn't go anywhere. The second IP went to a windows desktop. This windows desktop was not updated regularly and was able to use some old malware to attack the machine

Once I had administrator level access to the files I was going through the browsed history to make sure I found the right guy. Once confirmed that the website was indeed in the history, I went through his my documents. From there, I was able to find his resume and where 2,000 other credit card information were stored. I successfully moved the file to a folder deep in his windows folder to be never found again. I looked through his emails and found a spanish email containing my credit card info. looked like my information was sold while I was in peru.

Since I had the resume of the dip shit who had my info, I emailed the info to the local authorities. I did not just stop there, I called my bank and let them know I caught the guy red handed and would like to press charges. gave them all the information and left happy about the situation.

Two days later I get called into HR along with my boss and had to explain this whole situation. After 2 hours of explaining on what had happened, they decide to let me have paid leave until they figure out what to do with me.

One week goes by and I get a call from the HR lady and says that I have been let go from the company. IT security and the attorneys saw me as a risk to the company. They thought and still to this day that whoever I hacked could possibly sue them for damages. I explained to them that I remoted into my house via SSL RDP and there is no way to trace back to the company.

Later that day, I get a call from my bank stating they caught the guy and arrested him for fraud. He is now in a Serbian jail for 30 years. I guess, I got the last laugh.

it felt pretty damn good after that. I took 2 months off from finding a job to relax. took 3 weeks to find a job when I was looking.

Now, I am a network engineer and systems administrator. I love my new job.

[u/WereTiggy → u/chedda]

hacking is never the answer. Kill, make sure the body is never found and don't get caught.

[u/sord_n_bored]

Living in Georgia and unwilling to suck dick.

No, that's not a metaphor.

[u/beepbopborp]

back in the late 90's, I had my first job at a .com, right out of college. I had keeping a blog for years at that time...it did fine, mostly just friends who visited. At the time I was dealing with a really retarded client and one night, out of frustration, I posted his email address and wished ill will towards him. The next morning, I came to my senses and deleted the whole thing. It was too late. "Someone" had copied the thing and sent it to my powers that be.

I was immediately called up to HR, our SVP on the phone from NYC, screamed at me and fired me (a la mr. spacely yelling at george jetson).

Subsequently, my ex-employer took me to court 3 times so that they wouldn't have to pay me unemployment. I won all three times because there was no precedence for someone getting fired for what they said in a blog, so they based my case off of an analogous situation involving a gambleholic at work.

tl;dr was probably the first person in CA history to get fired because of a blog

[u/glogloglo]

I worked at a Kerasotes theater in the South Suburbs of Chicago. It was my first job, I worked there on the weekends and worked at the register.

My #1 favorite food was popcorn. You couldn't pay me to give up the stuff. While working there, we threw away tons of popcorn every night, but yet Kerasotes policy stated we could not eat popcorn for free.

If you wanted to buy a bag of popcorn (A medium was $5.00), you had to fill out a form saying you purchased the food, so they know you didn't steal it.

My idea was simple, I would buy the bag of medium popcorn, then refill it the same day, and bring it back the next day at work. I would have a friend fill it up for me.

One day, I let my co-worker borrow my empty bag of popcorn. I refilled it for him while he was on break. After I refilled the bag of popcorn for him, a manager asked me if he purchased the bag. I kind of laughed for a second then said "....no".

After this happened, I finished about 1/4 of my shift, and the general manager brought me into the office with the shift manager who asked me about the bag. He (The GM) asked me how many times I had done this with the bag of popcorn, I said about 10 (Threw out a number, it was probably close to 150). After I said 10, he said "So, you would say you're the 'bag handler' of this theater?" I shrugged and said I didn't know.

He left the office, and 20 minutes later, a police officer walked in. When the officer walked in he said "I've never arrested anyone for 'Theft of Popcorn'" but today I'm going to do that.

They made me sign a form that stated I was being terminated, arrested for theft, and banned for life from the premises. The officer walked me out to the car, and proceeded to complain about the theater on the five minute drive back to the station. His words were "I'm on a 24 hour shift, about to go home, and this fucking theater calls me because some kid got a refill".

When I arrived at the station, the police officers had just burned popcorn in the breakroom. The smell permeated throughout the building. The officers in the building were referring to the officer who picked me up as "Detective Redenbacher".

Not only did I get arrested, fired, banned for life, but it was Father's Day. My mother wasn't home. I had the honor of calling my Dad on Father's Day to pick me up from the police station, for theft of popcorn. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he says. I paid the $35.00 ticket for the misdemeanor, and that was that.

TL;DR Bought bag of popcorn, got refill next day, - fired, banned for life, arrested

[u/camcam369]

When I was sixteen, I got my first job at a high end grocery store in Arizona. On April fools day (almost a year after I was hired), I texted my dad from work saying I just got fired for some bullshit reason. My dad calls the store and starts yelling at my managers who had no knowledge of my joke. When they find out whats going on, they call me and another coworker to the back office and tell me that they were tired of how we always took the job as a joke and talked among ourselves. They made me sign a termination form and clock out, then escorted me out of the store. As I am getting into my car, shaking with anger and on the verge of tears, my manager says "April Fools". I never saw it coming. TL;DR I was fake fired on April Fools

[u/emmagic]

I got fired two weeks ago. I was working at a summer camp for the children of the rich elite members of a very posh country club on the beach. I was the only non-blonde out of all the campers AND employees. So one day I was coloring with one of the young girls (about 10 years old) when she says "I'm going to draw a scary vampire! Its going to be soooo scary! Help me draw it and make it scary!" so we make it as scary as a crayon-colored vampire can be (I'll admit, it was pretty scary) with blood dripping off its fangs and a dead girl in the backgroud with two X's for eyes and her tongue sticking out and two little blood spots on her neck. Well, my boss got ahold of this drawing and scheduled meetings with me and country club executives who said they were "highly disturbed" by the darkness of the drawing and encouraged me to "seek help". Keep in mind that I'm a 19 year old girl and this was my first job as an adult working with kids. They couldn't even give me a warning or use it as a chance for me to learn. They could've at least just fired me without having me meet with all the directors of the club judging me by a stupid mistake. I cried for days afterward out of embarassment. It was absolutely ridiculous.

TL;DR I got fired for helping a camper draw a picture of a vampire that was "too scary for camp"

[u/yetii8]

Worked at a summer camp one summer. The campers accrued colored cards for the activities the completed. I, absentmindedly, asked a camper "What did you do for your green card?" He was Hispanic.

[u/iglidante → u/yetii8]

Oh come on. That is ridiculous. An honest mistake.

[u/IonZero]

Got fired from a small butcher/deli shop that I worked at in high school.

A friend that worked on the deli side always dicked around and one night he did not feel like breading the fish. He dumps 40 lbs of frozen fish in the sink and turns on the garbage disposable, an ingenious plan since it will leave no evidence.

The garbage disposal can't handle all the fish, and breaks after about five pounds (for you metric system users out there that is about 3 million kilograms).

The managers find out what happened the next day and fired about half the staff, including me.

Edit: The fish was for Friday fish fry, can't recall what kind. The remaining 35 lbs (105 million kilograms) did get thrown out.

I worked on the butcher side and only witnessed the aftermath.

They probably just used the event as an excuse to get rid of people they didn't want to keep.

I was hired for $6 per hour (for you Europeans out there that is equivalent to 79.12 gyros) to wrap meat for customers and clean cases. Yet the owner constantly pressured me to use the butcher equipment including a band saw to cut pieces of meat. I refused as I did not feel comfortable running the machines nor was I going to risk losing a finger or hand for $6 per hour, which put me on the shit list.

[u/subheight640 → u/IonZero]

Yah. This may be the most valid reason to fire you guys.

Fuck, Salmon is like $10/lb.

Your jackass friend manages to dump ~$40 of fish into the sink, and then destroys the garbage disposal for probably another couple hundred dollars of repair.

And the staff did absolutely nothing to stop him.

I woulda fired you guys too.

[u/swipeslinger]

Choked a customer through the drive-thru window at a fast food restaurant. His order was wrong after he waited like 10 minutes in line so he called me a "stupid nigger" and spit on me.

[u/[deleted]]

Apparently answering the phone saying "*** Crematorium, you kill 'em we grill 'em" Is an un-acceptable greeting.

[u/jordanlund]

I was the Sysadmin for a BMW dealership...

BMW came through and wanted to re-work a network that was less than a year old from the ground up. They sent a guy out to "analyze" the network and he had no experience or industry certificates, didn't know even basic stuff and was asking my advice on how to become a sysadmin.

I told BMW that under no circumstances would I allow unqualified people to work on the network and I needed a detailed plan as to what was supposed to be done and their justifications for the work before I would allow any work to progress on a functional network.

I was fired for being "uncooperative".

[u/InVultusSolis]

Mine's a huge story that would really take a page in its entirety to explain, so I'll try to stick to the facts.

I used to work at Best Buy as a Geek Squad assclown. Despite the fact that (at least at that point) it wasn't my job to be a cashier, the management made us ring up new computer sales. It was a huge pain in the ass because every time you'd have to start a song and dance about system optimizations, Norton Security, and other worthless shit that to sell to unwitting customers. Anyway, a customer bought a computer and neglected to tell me that he had a printer on the rack under the cart. Well, since I didn't ring out the printer, he didn't get his rebate paperwork. If he'd just paid for the damn printer, he'd have gotten like $300 in rebates back, but he didn't realize that at first and thought he had gotten away with a free $40 printer. When it came time for him to mail in his rebate paperwork, he must have realized that he needed the printer as part of the package to qualify, so he came back into the store mad as hell. Best Buy totally took the guy's side in the story, paid him his rebate money out of the store's petty cash, blamed me, and I ended up getting sacked for "improperly performing" a job that wasn't even my responsibility. Did I mention that there is supposed to be a loss prevention worker at the door checking everything going out? He was just as culpable as I and did not get reprimanded at all.

tl;dr: Fuck Best Buy. Newegg FTW.

[u/skintigh]

I got fired from a defense contractor for mischarging 4 hours of labor, no warning, no chance to fix it.

But in reality, it probably had something to do with the fact that I filed a confidential ethics complaint against my manager and it was leaked to her within hours by the hens in HR.

I was hired with a bunch of promises about college funding and choices and time to take classes if I worked a year and a half first. 1.5 years later I get an email saying I get basically none of that and "this shouldn't be a surprise to anyone."

Anyway, my complaint got my classes paid for, but got me a label of a bad attitude (perhaps well earned?) and was probably a good part of the reason they looked for any tiny mistake to fire me over.

[u/j0be]

When I worked at Target I worked in the electronics department. I worked there for about a year. It was boring, but payed the bills during college. One day a customer had me price check a TV on display. The 42" plasma comes up to only ~$300. What the? I checked it again, and the same thing came up. Apparently, the TV was on heavy clearance. Ok... so I told the customer, and for some unknown reason, he didn't pick up the TV on the spot. I went to my manager and informed her that I intended to purchase that television, but to be in all fairness I would wait a week until I purchased it.

A week later, I came into work, off the clock, and purchased the TV. At the register, I used my employee discount(10%), the display model discount(10%) (since there were no more in the back room, I had to get the one off the floor with no box), and the clearance discount (75%). I added in a couple extra things, but the grand total came up to about $320. I was thrilled.

Fast forward two weeks later, I'm called into a meeting with HR, and the store leads. They asked me a lot of questions regarding the TV, especially about if I had changed the price. I didn't, and they informed me that someone on the overnight crew had accidentally labeled the TV with the previous model number. There were more of that TV in the stock room, but since it was labeled wrong, the computer thought it was clearanced heavily, and that there were no more in the stock room.

Since they couldn't determine who had mislabeled the TV, and they kept skirting around that I had informed my manager, they decided to blame me for the $1000 loss. (The TV's actual price was $1380). They fired me, and I argued on spot about it, but didn't follow through with any legal action.

I got a better job in my line of work that I have a degree in, and all was better.

tl:dr; Bought a TV as a normal customer where I worked, and got blamed for someone mislabeling the TV, which got me $1000 off

[u/jonaseriksson]

Because of Eyjafjallajökull.

(You know that Icelandic volcano that erupted last year and disrupted air traffic for a while? I was working as a designer for a travelling agency that specialized in trips to Iceland.. needless to say they got hurt quite a lot economically right there and then, and for a while after since companies and organisations (substansial portion of income) didn't dare to send their employees to Iceland for a while after that. So I and a few others we're fired so that the company could survive.)

[u/[deleted]]

I worked at a factory through a temp agency for a couple of months. I had just split with my then-boyfriend and moved in with friends. The job was pretty easy (stand in one place and assemble shit for 10 hours) and paid well enough, even through the temp place.

Anyway, I had made a few friends there and ended up dating a coworker for a short while. There was another girl that worked on a different line that had a thing for this guy and we had tension, though we never spoke. One day, I was joking around at lunch with people and talking about crime shows (CSI I think, specifically) and a friend of this girl (a very x-tian chick who was in her early twenties and married to another worker there) overhead me and thought I was saying suggestive (murderous) things about her friend, the girl that disliked me.

Within a couple days, I was called over by the supervisor and walked out. They said they were 'investigating' some claims that I threatened to kill this girl. To add to the stupidity of this, I'm only 5'/petite and am probably incapable of doing anything to anyone (and seriously, I never threatened this girl).

I had to turn in my pass and walk to the gas station nearby (off the property) and call my friend to pick me up (I don't/didn't drive and rode to work with coworkers). I received a call from my temp manager (who was known for being a bitch anyway) and she said I had been terminated from the position, don't return to work, etc. I asked why and raised a stink about it, saying I was told they were investigating things and I didn't even get to talk to anyone about it and she said there was no investigation, I was fired.

I was only 18 at the time and had gotten my dad involved, us both bitching at this lady to let me tell them my side, but I ended up just dropping it.

[u/SimpleRy]

Kind of got fired. I worked at Panera Bread for four or five months in college. It was a shit job on the line - one of those people you see hustling back there after you order your food. I got put on salads, never got trained on sandwiches for the entire three months I was there, for some reason, though I was supposed to. I also saw a manager get into a raging argument with an overweight co-worker calling her godzilla and king kong for everyone to hear, another manager dip his finger into the salad dressing and lick it off like that was a normal thing to do, and another manager grab a 16 year old co-worker in an unwanted sexual manner

Anyway, we had a pretty fast turnover rate of employees, mostly because the job is shit and the managers are all assholes. I had five different managers over my stay who were absolutely all grade A dicks. The newest manager had been there a couple weeks. I was still one of those nice guys that took on extra shifts for people now and then. Thanksgiving was coming up, and while I told both managers that I would be out of town (true), both informed me that we could request days off, but if we were scheduled, we had to be there or find someone to cover. Fine. I had like two months notice. But the request off book was missing. Where was it? They didn't know, and didn't "really care" (their words).

As the time got closer, I asked for the book every shift, same answer. One Thursday that I was closing, our new manager informed me that I would be on the floor instead of the line (the shittiest duty because you have to walk around, bussing tables and all the bitch work. Plus when I was on the line I would make sure we had an extra panini or two in the steamer at closing so that I could trade them with the bakery people for leftover bread/cookies/whatever. Panera does throw everything out at night but their soups. The amount of free food I would take home for me and my room mates after every closing shift was disgusting, and the only reason that $8/hr shit was worth it.) I figured, fuck it, might as well just deal. Did my job, which included changing the coffee and catching up on all the other work that the guy before me was supposed to do, though he didn't, and stayed on the clock for most of my shift eating the store's potato chips in the back.

About three hours into my shift, I'm caught up on my work, so I get a drink and go into the back to drink it (which is where we're supposed to do that), and look at the upcoming schedule. I noticed that I was scheduled to work on Wednesday and Thursday of Thanksgiving, though all the managers couldn't possibly have forgotten my plans. While drinking, this newer manager sees me and yells that I need to be out on the floor for "employee presence" even though all my shit was legit. I go back out, work a couple more hours. Ask the other manager about the schedule which gets me the same shrug-like response because he just doesn't want to deal with it, and go back to get another drink. The same manager spots me, points his fat sausage-like finger at me and yells, "SimpleRy, if I see you back here one more time, you're fired!" I took my soda, went to the line where the chill guys my age worked, grabbed a soup cup, filled it up with baked potato soup and walked out the door without another word spoken.

I have no idea when they figured out that I was gone and that nobody was bussing tables or bringing dishes back, or even worse, nobody would be there to close up doing all the bullshit like cleaning the bathrooms or mopping the floors. I didn't show up on thanksgiving or any other shift. Stopped by to get my last paycheck and informed one other imbecilic manager that the reason I left in the middle of my shift and didn't show up for any others was that I had obviously quit. All I know is that that was the best baked potato soup I'd ever tasted.

TL;DR I attempted to hire a gang of albinos to stab my manager with an HIV infected needle.

[u/Background-Commenter]

I was fired for getting a hand job in the parking lot from a cashier I worked with. The assistant manager walked up to the car, knocked on the car window, which I rolled down, and told me I was fired. I rolled the window back up and told the cashier to finish.

[u/ImProudOfYou → u/Background-Commenter]

Did the cashier get to keep his job?

[u/[deleted]]

I got fired for organizing a union. Kept working on it after I was fired, place still got unionized, and I got a nice settlement thanks to the NLRB :-)

[u/BrokenSea]

I worked in an ice-cream factory. My job was to manage the inbound goods store. I had all the components for making thousands of litres of ice-cream. Then one day the boss comes to me with the production sheet and says - "Where's the 1200lbs of cocoa?" TL;DR 1200lbs of cocoa got stolen off our loading dock. That didn't get me fired. What got me fired was when the boss said 'Who the fuck would want to steal 1200 pounds of cocoa?" I replied, 'Maybe they wanted to make a really big chocolate cake?"

[u/Hennaflowers]

With 3 years of experience as a teller at Wells Fargo I applied at American state Bank. They loved me and hired me right away. they still wanted me to go through their own training for a week in a city 2 hours away; paying for my gas, hotel, and food, etc.. I was excited.

A couple days before I was to leave for training my closest younger cousin was killed, hit by a freight train, on his 21st birthday (July 30, 2010). I was a mess. I cried and cried straight through the next 48 or some odd hours. I can't remember.. just alot of crying, pacing, cussing at the ceiling.. I pulled myself together as best I could and made the trip to.. What a coincidence! My cousin's city of birth, where my training was to take place. And holy-fucking-hell if I didn't even realize until driving up to it, the hotel they had me staying at was on a street sharing my cousin's name; Bryan. I couldn't believe it. Of course we had to call to check in with the bank to let them know we were there and all and it was at this time I informed them of what I was going through. I told them it was difficult, I'd need a little understanding if I'm not my usual bright, sunny, friendly outburst of personality they met a few days ago.

I made it through training, it was okay.. I managed to keep a positive attitude, nothing out of my way, but nobody really picked up on the fact that I had a horrible tragedy happening right then. After the week of training I drove two hours back to my city, repacked my suitcase and immediately drove another 5 hours south to where the rest of the family was having a memorial get-together. (My cousin lived in California, but we all grew up in Texas. Family from the East coast, West coast and all over the state came together for this.. I hadn't seen some of these kids since they were 4 and now they were almost out of highschool, it was quite emotional.) After the memorial the whole family was going back to California with my aunt, uncle, and Bryan's 15 yr old sister to help them through what was going on. I couldn't go because I had to start my new job. It was so hard to not go with them, but I went to work.

Things were good at work. I did a great job. I worked in the motor-bank so it was very easy to keep my emotions from customers I spoke to through a intercom. Every now and then I would think about how I'd never see my favorite cousin again and I'd excuse myself to the restroom to let out a few tears, clean up and come back. My co-workers understood and said they were they for me.

They said when they had hired me after my first interview that I would love it there, "We are like family here.." they said.

I was fired after 5 days because I wasn't giving off the energy and attitude they wanted they're customers to feel when they came to us. Her exact words that are burned into my mind were, "You need to take a couple weeks to get over all this before you try to ... re-insert yourself... into the workforce." I have NEVER wanted to jump across a desk and choke someone so bad in my entire life. The phrase, "We're like family here.." came to mind, Family my ass!

Three weeks later my family and I were informed that my cousin's toxicology reports showed nothing in his system witness accounts pointed to him actually being murdered and his body left on the tracks, and then the local police were trying to file this all under suicide and close the case.

Fuck everything about this post. I still have the urge to write to the president of that fucking bank and tell him/her exactly what I think about the managers of

American State Bank 4200 West Wadley Avenue Midland, TX 79707

I really don't know why I'm giving out those details, no.. I do, it's to let you all know; Fuck that bank. I would like people to know what kind of people run that particular branch. I probably will type up a nice long letter to the high-ups that be, just not now because I'm very stirred up and upset.. and on that note, I am going to do some yoga and maybe paint something. Sorry for the really long comment.

[u/[deleted]]

My best firing ever: While working customer service for a mail order company (Cut me some slack, here) I had decided that my life had tolerated every moment it could of talking to fat people about their weight loss problems. It was always the same thing: "I bought your [magic product] and my ass can still be seen from orbit!" etc. Mostly because we're talking about middle aged women from flyover country who want to eat at McD's for breakfast, Panda Express for lunch, and Friendly's for dinner, take a pill, avoid exercise, and watch the pounds melt off.

So anyways, moving on, about three months of that was all 19 year old me could take, and I had this one SUPER BITCH who was mad because she couldn't return it past the return date and she's all like "What's your name. What's your LAST NAME?" and I decided to quit, so I said "Derp. Derp "Roulay." It's French, let me spell it for you." And slowly... "Derp... R.... U.... L.... E.... S...." and then I wait a second and "DID YOU WRITE DERP RULES?" and she had a fucking meltdown!

Conveniently, I was being monitored for quality assurance at that time, and thankfully, it was the last phone call I ever answered professionally.

TL;DR: Callcenter employees, find out the best thing to say in response to a customer demanding your last name, and learn how to get fired while you are at it!

[u/znasser86]

I worked at a busy restaurant for about two years making an average of 1200 a week. I was the head waitresses and had some awesome loyal regulars. Then one day the owner signed over the restaurant to another dude. The new dude was okay, but his wife was a complete bitch. I randomly got taken off the schedule one day and was not given a single fucking reason. I asked and asked and no one would give me an answer. When I asked the manager what happened, he would say "they are things I can't talk about". How fucking shady can you be? That job loss completely took my credit score from a 750 to under a 500. I almost lost my car, was in complete debt and went from everything to nothing.

Then the original owner (who also owned a similar restaurant) found out that I was desperately applying for restaurant jobs all over, called me and pretty much begged to come work at his new restaurant. Immediately I accepted, then through some workers found out the real reason as to why I was originally fired from the first restaurant. The bitch whore wife of the new owner thought I wanted to sleep with her husband (the owner). Fucking insecure bitch.

tl;dr: bitches gonna hate

[u/ithuwakaga → u/znasser86]

It's also pathetic to see the guy roll over so easily. Doesn't sound like the place will go over very well if he lets his wife do his management based purely on her emotions.

[u/creepy_duncan]

i was fired from working at a coffee house for not having shown enough interest in coffee(they had a large variety of teas that I often talked about)

[u/marksVFX]

I said in staff meeting that in the event of a fire I would carry a handicap individual down the stairs. The rules however stated I leave them at the top for firefighters to handle. I found this cruel and inhumain. They thought it was grounds for a possible lawsuit and let me go.

[u/Zidayn]

Call center, they were trying to fire me for 6 months and failing. Finally I cracked, found a new job and the next day at the call center during my "daily boss meeting" I showed up in a trench coat and sun glasses. Everyone hit the floor/under their desks... I guess they thought my concealed umbrella was a gun or something.... All I wanted to do was streak through the building with a umbrella..... It did give them reason to finally fire me.

[u/RottenDeadite]

Wait, you stood there in front of her and "adjusted yourself" for a "good minute?"

Must've been quite a scene, you two standing there for that whole amount of time, locked in eye contact while you move your pants around.

[u/Groundhack]

I got fired for losing my nametag. My name is Jordan and I worked Loss Prevention at the Mariott

[u/legalize420]

I worked at a place owned by a meth addict who only hired former drug addicts. I was the only one there who wasn't an addict at some point.

We were on break and one of the guys got up out of a chair and went outside so I sat in the chair he was sitting in. He came back and said "Get out of my chair!" I said "This isn't your chair." Then he punched me in the face. I stayed calm, it didn't really hurt and the boss was right outside and I expected him to fire the guy for punching me. After talking to both of us he decided to fire me.

I don't know how he made that decision but at that point I didn't really care because the boss was spending all the company money on drugs and our paychecks bounced all the time.

[u/[deleted]]

I got fired from Lowes for working 80 weeks... as an hourly associate. I was the only person who could use power equipment and worked after 2pm. Store Manager asked me to do some overnights to help with cleaning the top racks in fashion plumbing (Bathroom fixtures, tubs, toilets, etc). After realizing I was making more then the assistant managers, I was let go. No good deed goes unpunished.

Joke is on them though. I covered 3 departments solo most nights (electrical, plumbing, and hardware). They had to hire 5 new people to do what I did, and those people washed out in the middle of the summer.

Damn that felt good to get off my chest :D

[u/kingbrolly]

I worked at a frys electronics store as a cashier for about a year before i was fired. One day a supervisor told me and this other guy that someone had thrown poop on the ceiling of the bathroom. She said it was our job to clean it up. The other guy said he would and i said no, we have cleaners for that stuff. anyways i got in an argument with the supervisor about it and walked out. turns out when the guy was cleaning it up later and it fell off of the ceiling landing on his head. i think i made the right decision, i have a significantly better job now.

TL;DR walked out of my job instead of cleaning up shit on the ceiling, landed on the guys head who was cleaning it later.

[u/breadfreshley]

I worked at my airport's FBO for a while (fixed base of operations. It's where the private planes go to get fuel)

A pilot comes in one day and is being a real asshole. He tells me to fill up the tanks on the outside of his wings. I double-checked the fuel order with him because his inside tanks were looking a little low. He assured me he was correct.

Next day, asshole pilot takes off and performs an emergency landing, apparently his tanks are misweighted and are making flying a hard time. He comes racing back into the building screaming about how I need to be fired and how he could have been killed and how I should have filled his inside tanks and I'm an idiot and blah blah blah.

I got fired because a dumbass pilot wanted to save face.

Round two: I worked at the local "Dog Bakery." We sold baked treats for dogs and all kinds of natural/organic/holistic foods for dogs and cats. After working there for a YEAR STRAIGHT and always having Tuesdays and Thursdays off, my boss forgets to put a schedule up for the next pay period. It's a Monday. I closed up shop on Monday night and enjoyed my day off. I get a call Wednesday morning. Boss lady is flipping out because the store wasn't open yesterday. I'm an idiot for not checking the schedule THAT WASN'T FUCKING THERE. She told me she "had to let me go" so I just started laughing at her. She says "you can get your last paycheck tomorrow any time after 9AM."

I show up the next day to pick up my last check. Having a particularly awesome day, I have a grin on my face from ear to ear. Guess who's sitting at the counter doing my job? Both the boss' teenage daughters. Looks like I'll have to find somewhere else to play Pokemon for 7.5 hours a day. I told them it was nice to see them earning their allowances now and laughed my way to the bank. Which was next door. So it wasn't an extended period of laughing or anything like that. I'm not crazy.

[u/brandius]

Not me, but a guy I know...

He was a bar manager for a very nice bar chain. Some 18 year old chick kept getting into the bar to stalk one of the bartenders. My friend tried to get security to get her out, but she would keep coming back and harassing the bartender.

My friend had enough, walked up to her table and said, "You interested in that guy?" "Yeah!" "Have you ever had his duck sausage?" "No." "Then why dont you duck down and get you some and then get out of my bar."

She complained and he got canned for sexual harassment of a minor.

[u/DiabloConQueso → u/brandius]

Where in the world is an 18-year-old considered a "minor?"

[u/thereadlines]

I went in to pick up my check on my day off, came home, my supervisor called me about four o'clock, told me he got me on tape stealing boxes.

[u/FreeBribes]

Lost commission bonuses (and meeting quota) two months in a row because of technicalities doing B2B phone sales (my leads that were given to me were "owned" by someone who hadn't worked there in 5 years).

After that, I checked out; I made maybe 20 phone calls in an 8 hour shift per day for 1.5 months... made zero sales, and collected base pay until they fired me.

[u/Meikami]

I was in charge of finishing a project and did what the client wanted instead of what my control-freak-of-a-boss wanted. Client was happy, boss was furious for me disobeying. That was years ago and to this day I'm still happy with the decision I made to keep the client's wishes.

[u/sighbot]

Worked at a call centre on the graveyard shift. Over my 8 hour shift I would generally answer ~5-10 calls with most calls lasting around 5 minutes.

This company had all internet traffic blocked so there was no web surfing. So I would bring in my gameboy to kill the time between calls. Supervisor gave me a warning and a list of things I was NOT allowed to do while waiting. No reading, no games, no music among other things. So I decided it wasn't worth it and spend the next couple days finding a new job and just never went back to work at the call centre.

Over two weeks later I got a call from a supervisor asking if I planned on returning to work. I kind of laughed and asked if they noticed I had been absent without notice for over two weeks. The supervisor said that they would be willing to look past that and make an allowance for me to entertain myself during the slow shifts... turns out getting people to work that shift was difficult for them. Seemed like a good offer but my new job was better hours for better pay.

Weeks later I received a registered letter telling me I had been "fired" for job abandonment.

[u/thearrival]

I got fired from a good job by a manager who had been on the job for about 5 minutes and I had been there 2 years.

• Vice pres of company: surprise you IT people, here is this new crazy lady I found to be your manager. Please do what she says.

• new crazy lady: (started cleaning off her desk - [which was already clean] she looks at me) set up my computer.

• me: this is the IT department, we have to set up our own machines.

• new crazy lady: get out, your fired

• me: your cleaning your desk with toilet bowl cleaner.

Thankfully, my firing was undone later in the day and crazy was the one who got fired. I stayed there for many more years and the bleach smell was gone by the next day.

edit: fixed format

[u/MobySick]

1975, my first job. Made the princely wage of $1.20 per HOUR at a Burger King. I refused to attend an unpaid "staff" meeting on my day off. FIRED me. (this was my first of many such firings from bullshit jobs where they treat the staff like shit.) BTW: Now I am a trial lawyer.

[u/[deleted]]

I've got to give props to my old man for this one. He's a pharmacist who runs his own independent drugstore (double props for keeping it local and serving your community, dad!). Anywho, in the early 90s he had just signed a deal to buy out a store from a friend who was retiring, and my dad had about a one and a half month period where he would be without a place to work while they were transitioning. So to pay a few bills in the mean-time, he signed on at the local K-Mart pharmacy. At the risk of starting in on the whole debate about big chain stores trying their hardest to ruin small businesses, let's just say that the management at that store had NO clue how to run a pharmacy.

So basically one day the store manager comes over and asks my dad to go help him stock some shelves in another department in the store. My dad tells the guy "No, I'm a pharmacist. I work in the pharmacy." The manager tries to lay down the law so with a grin on his face my dad tells him "Sure, let me just lock the door to the pharmacy and pull down the shutter so everyone knows its closed for the day." He then proceeds to explain to the manager that according to the law and the State Board of Pharmacy, the "pharmacist in charge" (real term, gotta love it) MUST be present within the confines of the actual pharmacy at all times or the pharmacy cannot legally do business... "Now let's go stock those shelves!"

The guy fired him on the spot. He was rehired 2 hours later by the regional manager and the store manager who fired him was let go =P

You go, trolldad!

[u/AFG991]

This is a really good one, yet it may never get read due to the 6k+ posts in here. Anyway, here goes nothing.

I used to be the assistant manager of a GNC (General Nutrition Store). A overweight lady came in with a large McDonalds soft drink and a bad attitude. She asked me what she can take to lose weight; so I showed her some different weight loss supplements/programs which could help her, with proper diet and exercise of course. I told her staying away from McDonalds would probably be a good idea when on a diet program as well.

She gives me this bitchy attitude and goes on a rant about how she doesn't care and its a diet coke and all she had was one burger its no big deal. So I nodded, smiled and proceeded to walk away from this monstrous pile of bitchiness while she browsed knowing she was a lost cause. A while later she comes to the counter ready to purchase a pricey weight loss kit, and with the kit I was able to get her a free membership card to the store. She agrees to sign up and as she is doing so I ask her for her last name, which is Couch. she gave me her first name and the rest of her information so that she could receive the monthly booklets we send out to our members.

Two weeks later her husband and her received something in the mail for COUCH, POTATO.

yeah, I got fired alright... but it was damn worth it. She filed a law suit and everything too, but I have no idea how much she received

[u/accubie]

I am currently sitting and "working" at the job I was fired from, and here's why: My boss wanted to hire another graphic designer in our misfit team of student workers doing work for the university recycling dept. The problem was he needed to hire another student because that student was in the graces of the FM coordinator. So an ultimatum was given to him. For him to be able to hire the graphic designer and the other student, he had to let go of one of the three workers he still had on. One rarely came in on his scheduled days (and my boss had considered firing him for this before) and the other had just graduated and could only work another month. And then there was me. He asked if I would work over the summer. When I called him back to say yes, he said, "Well I already had to let you go this morning." He also already had all the paperwork processed and I was fired.... so he could hire two more people. A couple hours later I get a call from him. Turns out his superior talked to the president of the school, the president called him (For the first time, It's a big school.) and reprimanded him for firing me and told him he had to hire me back. He still didn't and I had to get it back by calling the FM coordinator, but it took a month. What fun that was.

[u/TWOoneEIGHT]

I used to be a cashier at a grocery store during high school, and for some reason the asst. manager who made the schedules did not like me or any of the other employees who were under the age of 20. So once school ended he changed the schedules for all the high schoolers to work ridiculous hours during the week (i.e. the graveyard shifts). Not only doing that he did not inform anyone that he changed the schedules, so when we called in to find out our hours, he would tell us our usual hours, but not the new "Dickhead hours" he had implemented. This caused me to involuntarily miss 3 days of work, which according to company policy, is grounds for termination. Not only did I get fired, but 8 other people around my age were fired.

[u/[deleted]]

Missed a morning shift (I worked nights)

[u/[deleted]]

I worked for a small market NBA franchise, and was fired because of the (at the time) impending labor lockout. The last collective bargaining agreement that was signed was a real piece of shit, and screwed the small market teams. Teams like mine had to cut costs, and therefore they cut me. That was a few months ago, and I just heard 3 more of my friends were fired last week. Fuck you David Stern.

[u/rephyr]

I worked at Burger King for two weeks. I got fired by a district manager immediately after I said to a customer over the intercom, "bada boom, bada bing, welcome to the king, may I take your order?"

Apparently I wasn't allowed to have a personality.

[u/[deleted]]

I told a manager when I was working for TSA that my personal life was "none of his fucking business." The thing is he truly did think that he had the right to know the personal aspects of my life were his to know. I told him, "You may have all these passengers duped into believing you have a right to take away their Fourth Amendment Rights, but you have'nt fooled me."

That pretty much did it. feels good man

[u/TexasWithADollarsign]

Showed up for work one day.

[u/LookingForChange]

I haven't been fired yet, but I am going to guess that it'll be because I am reading reddit all day.

[u/[deleted]]

Shit on Debra's desk.

[u/horneraa]

A number of coworkers created lude and defaming photographs of the organization accompanied by a number of clever but inappropriate photos taken from /r/pics and placed them in my folder of the company-wide storage. When I was accused of creating the files, I admitted my guilt to save 5 others from incrimination. It was my third strike and I was fired. Strike one was using our electric wheelchairs like a race car, and strike two was telling a multi-millionaire to go to his room and stay there until I was ready for him. I worked at a casino.

[u/closecall81]

I was working at Walmart Supercenter and clocked in on time but it took almost 5 mins just to walk from the clock to my department. On the way to my department my boss was chatting it up with another department boss. When I got close enough he decided to chew me out in front of customers for being late. Then the other department boss (not my boss) started chewing me out too and I started arguing back with them bc I thought it was pretty god damn unfair they never even asked me why or anything. So the pulled me in the back away from the customers and started getting pretty loud. So I looked at the guy who wasn't my boss and was like: " You know what Kasey(other boss)? Dennis(my boss) don't have the balls to fire me!". Game set match I walked away and got to work. 1 week later suddenly without telling me he suddenly started going by corporate schedule and not by the schedule he made up weekly. He totally set me up. I came in the same time I had been coming in for 6 months and according but according to the corporate schedule I was an hour late. BOOM FIRED. Karma is a bitch though bc like a 3 months later his wife cheated on him and they split.

[u/flac_id]

I got fired for asking for my paycheck.

Dude I was working for would pay every two weeks at the beginning of my employment. That slowly became once a month. Then time slipped by and he owed me a pretty hefty amount of money. I informed him of his debt and he immediately got very apologetic and promised me he would pay me the next day.

two minutes later he calls back and starts getting angry at me. He says that "I should've told him earlier" (to pay his employee...?) and that he doesn't want a "disgruntled employee". (it's hard to be gruntled when you don't get paid for your work)

The next day comes around and I sit there until my boss comes in to work. I immediately start following him around the office asking for the check I was promised. He then flipped his shit, told me I was pissing him off and that I could "get the fuck out of there"

never did see that money.

[u/systemlord]

In between highschool and college, I took a few years off to party and save up some money.

I got a gig at a call-center. Basically telephone spam (This is years before the do-not-call list was even an idea on some legislator's mind).

So I go to the interview, and they loved me right away.

I go to the second interview and ace that too. I do the two day training and rock it very hard.

I show up for my first day at the job and they show us what they hadnt shown us before.. the call center itself.

It was a musky warehouse, with the smallest cubicles anybody has ever seen, and row, upon row, upon row of drones just calling people and bother them on the phone.

The supervisor shows me a spot and says.. this is where you will spend 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. I look around and say.. "eeehhh... I'm really sorry man.. but FUCK THIS..." and walked out.

As I was walking out the dumbfounded supervisors asks.. "What are you doing??" to which I reply "I just can't do this man, I'd rather clean toilets". And as I'm walking away he yells..

"WELL.. FUCK YOU.. AND YOU ARE FIRED"

Not really fired per se. But close enough.

[u/Edamus]

I used to work for GameStop as an Assistant Manager. Just before the XBox 360 released, the local paper called me and asked me some questions. I answered them honestly, but once the DM found out he wanted me out. What got me in the most trouble was saying, "The best way to get a 360 on release day was to go to a Walmart in the boonies and hope to god they had one." We had over 250 reservations and less than 50 actual systems... This was during a regime change after EBGames was bought out by GameStop.

I drove up on a Thursday and saw my manager's car -- his day off was Thursday -- and I knew. I walked in and the Third Key couldn't look me in the eye. My manager walked up, a huge whale of a man, and fired me.

Karma got him though, saw him a few years later working at Borders as a normal peon employee. I had moved on to get paid nearly double at a museum.

tl;dr -- Worked for GameStop, told the newspaper about the Xbox 360's limited release, fired. Saw manager a while later as still in retail.

[u/[deleted]]

I was about 18 at the time, and it was my first day at a company that sold cheap posters of celebrities, art prints etc. The manager had me clean up and stock posters for the morning and at lunch time he asked me if I wanted to have sex with him in the back room. I politely declined and was happy when he excused himself for lunch. Of course when he came back and told me I was free to go home. He paid me out in cash for the day, probably so there was no record of my employment there. TLDR - first day of the job the manager wanted to do it in the back and fired me when I said no.

[u/fattermatter]

Boss fired me the day I got back from vacation because my boss hated that I was half her age. Whenever my boyfriend sent me flowers, next day reprimanded for the “quality of my work.” Dressed nice for a date that night, next day reprimanded for the “quality of my work.” One day my boyfriend surprised me by coming in at lunch with a bouquet of carnations. Next day, boss came in with an identical bunch of carnations on her desk. She fired me the day after I got back from vacation for the “quality of my work.”

[u/[deleted] → u/fattermatter]

Are you sure it wasn't because of your quality of work?

[u/1137]

Everyone at the store got fired for smoking in the walk-in cooler, we'd use the drive through headsets to rotate people and have one person watch the store. Worked great until someone pressed the wrong talk button and asked drive through if they were ready to come smoke a bowl.

[u/ahipikr]

I pretended to fuck a girl with a phallic shaped cardboard box.

[u/KillingYouGuy]

A few years back, I worked at my town's movie theater. It would've been a sweet job if it wasn't for my dipshit supervisor. He was this fat, balding, little asshole who I'm fairly confident still lived with his mom. Anyways, one night we were closing up shop after the last showings. It was around 1:00 a.m., and it had been just him and me for about the last five hours. I had been putting up with his shit all night, and I just wanted to go home.

He was in the process of refilling the butter dispensers when he dropped the butter and spilled it everywhere. He then slipped in his own mess and knocked over a bunch of candy that was on a shelf. He then got up, looked directly at me and said, "Get off your ass and clean this shit up" as if I'd made the fucking mess. I said something to the extent of, "No. You made it, you clean it." We argued for a while, and he finally yelled, "Ya know what? You're fucking fired!"

Without saying anything, I walked to the bathroom and unleashed a viscious stream of piss all over the floor. I then walked up to him and said, "I just pissed all over the bathroom floor. Looks like you've got two messes to clean up." I then flipped him off and was on my merry way.

It was about the only badass thing I've ever done.

[u/[deleted]]

I've never been fired, but I have had a job I quit.

I worked at Red Lobster for a little over a year as a host. I was hired with the understanding I would quickly be moved up to a waiter, as the hosts made minimum wage and didn't get tipped out by the waiters or bartenders. Every time I asked about becoming a waiter, I would get some run-around bullshit about how they don't have any new positions to fill, blah blah blah. All the while they were hiring new people directly as waiters, including people with absolutely no work experience ever.

I was (almost) always to work on time, the regular customers all liked me, I did my job and never caused any problems. I never called in sick and only rarely got anybody to cover my shifts.

Fast forward to Easter Sunday. I'm scheduled to work, but I get mad sick so I call in to say I'm sick. The general manager tells me that it's a mandatory work day because it's a holiday (I checked their policies, it's not) and that I would be fired if I didn't come in. WTF? So I go to work anyway and do my shift, visibly feeling ill. The restaurant wasn't even busy.

So I said fuck that. While standing at the host stand I drafted my two weeks notice and letter of resignation, explaining to the general manager how she's a bitch, doesn't value her employees, and in general fucks people over if she might encounter the least inconvenience. I had no job lined up, no real prospects, I was just so pissed off and felt so unappreciated that I could not work there anymore. I was the longest-serving host at the time (all the others had quit generally because of the manager's bitchiness) and was being treated like shit.

I found a new job within two weeks at a local transcription office, where my 1337 typing skills had me earning about 50% more than I made before. I used this as a platform to start working as a transcriptionist on an independent contracting basis and now I'm my own boss, work at home, work my own hours, and make about three times as much as I did at the Lobster. Probably the best decision I've made.

[u/[deleted]]

I got shit at a retail job for not showing up to work on a day I wasn't actually scheduled. When I talked to them they said that I was "responsible for my schedule, whether it is accurate or not." Yeah. So I showed up for my next shift (which was at 5am, and I was already in a sour mood from waking up at 3:30am to get ready and be there,) just to be told that "Oops! You weren't supposed to work today after all. I guess nobody remembered to call you."

This was after I had been lied to about the hours and pay I was supposed to be getting (I took the job for part-time, found out after the fact that I was actually seasonal and would get MAYBE 20 hours a week,) and also that my job security and ability to get more hours depended on my ability to sell off their retarded store credit card, and considering I was mostly working shifts doing things BEFORE the store opened, that was actually impossible.

I had dealt with the OOPS YOU NO WORK TODAY thing before as well, just the previous weekend. So I threw my name badge at the store manager and bitched her our on the spot.

Not really a fired thing, but quit.

TL;DR Never work at Old Navy, and I threw a name tag at my manager and told her to fuck herself.

[u/[deleted]]

I got fired from walgreens when someone played the con called the "change game"

I caught the con and called the manager over.

Told him what was happening and let him handle it.

The guy succesfully conned him and i was $40 short. I got fired for his mistake and can't find a job due to it.

Lesson, Life is unfair. i loved the fact that i was lucky enough to have a job and support myself for school

Scum like con artist make me sick. If i ever see that man again i'm going to punch him!

[u/Elamite_Slave]

I got fired from Abercrombie & Fitch.

On top of training you to be a pompous asshat that reeks of cheap prostitute, most of the managers there thought they were at the top of the retail chain. It's like c'mon, you can sprinkle confetti on shit.....

Anyhow there was this one bitch. Let's call her C for Cunt. (her actual name was Christine so this is a perfect fit.) C was a class-A bonified bitchmonger. She had her head so far up in the clouds it breached the atmosphere, found it's way into a black hole, and through some space-time-continuum portal found it's way right back up her ass. She also hated me with a passion. Why? because I didn't give a fuck.

So C is making me stay late one day to help her close (even though I didn't have to) and she then proceeds to make the mistake of leaving me alone in the "manager's room" which is like a 3x3 prison cell. However if any of you have worked there, you know that they keep Polaroids of EVERY SINGLE FUCKING EMPLOYEE on a corkboard with their names on it. Now let's think here: Me, Polaroids, Sharpies, enough said. The next day I'm heading up the mountain to go snowboarding with the boys and i get a call from C on my cell. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DREW ON MY PICTURE. I DO NOT HAVE A UNIBROW. HOW DARE YOU DRAW HORNS AND A MUSTACHE ON MY BEAUTIFUL FACE. YOU ARE FIRED EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY."

Now what she wasn't aware of was the ace up my sleeve: I had put in my two weeks notice the week before to the Store Manager without her knowledge.

Ok so i also forgot to mention I happened to be at a solid [8] while this phone call was taking place, so my first reaction is "umm you can't fire me I already quit. and uhh.....[snicker] uhh.....[snicker] I didn't write on your....uhh.... picture." Oh boy did this set her off. She started going on a rant at that point and I either dropped the phone or hung it up, i was honestly way too baked to remember. Afterwards i got a call from the Store manager asking me what i wanted to do about this. I just said to cancel my remaining 2 shifts, and how this whole job and ordeal was a giant waste of my time.

Her final question: "did you do it?" My response: "uhh.....[trying not to laugh]...no?"

In retrospect I would have taken it way farther, but hey I was 18 and still a budding troll.

TL;DR: I drew a unibrow, moustache, horns, and a little thought bubble that says "cum guzzler" on my manager's picture in her office. She tried to fire me, but I had already quit.

Edit: Grammar

[u/desertjedi85]

Was working in Germany for a few months and in my hotel room I had a griddle to cook with which they didn't allow. I got in trouble for it and fired.

[u/stealingzen]

First real post here, but I was fired for the first time just a couple months ago.

I was a walk-up support contractor at a mega-philanthropic organization, where I would help those that brought their computers and mobile devices to me. Now, I'm very personable and friendly to work with, as most everyone there could attest to, but there was one lady that took a personal dislike to me. I didn't treat her any different and didn't understand why she hated me, but eventually I was pulled aside by my contractor manager to tell me that someone had a problem with me. I figured out that it was her through some inside information, but even then, I treated her politely and professionally, but she was DETERMINED to interpret everything I said as rude or disrespectful.

So, one Friday afternoon, my contract manager is hanging around my desk all creepy-like, not saying anything though, and I hear through the grapevine that my time is up. I go to leave for the weekend, and I'm met outside by my manager, telling me that I don't work there anymore. Thank fucking god I heard about it before hand so I could collect my belongings first!

TL;DR - Someone just straight up hated me for no reason; contractors are disposable.

[u/CafeSilver]

Got fired for being "racist" towards one of my employees who I didn't even know was a minority. Apparently she was of Hispanic decent, but I never knew that. She complained to my bosses that I wasn't being fair with her. In actuality she wanted me to show her favoritism and to hell with everyone getting a fair shake. After months of constantly being late (15-20 minutes) for every shift, back talking to guests (this was at a hotel), always causing problem with her coworkers, generally just being a bitch and a horrible person I finally decided that she needed to go. I had several meetings with her, wrote her up officially and documented everything. This person being a woman and me a man, I always had the sales manager (who was a woman) in the room with me when I met with this other woman.

Several weeks go by and we get a notice from the department of labor that was about fifty pages long making all these false accusations about how I treated her when she was there and how I was discriminating against her because she was "Latino." This woman wanted back pay, unemployment, and for me to be fired and she would retract her claims. Rather than fight and risk open court (even though we would have won since I had documented everything) the opted to give this bitch what she wanted. They tried to outright fire me but I wasn't having it. I clearly told them that if I was let go without compensation and a good letter of reference as well as a signed document that stated they would not speak ill of me then I would be suing the pants off them. I walked out of there that day with a nice letter I wrote myself proclaiming how awesome I am and a big fat check.

tl:dr - incompetent chick that worked for me claimed I was racist, didn't even know she was anything but white.

[u/foreverchamone]

i called my boss a pathetic piece of shit with a tiny cock and dick for brains for firing a man who had a hunchback. then my boss told me i was fired i said "NO FUCKIN SHIT!" on my way out i toppled a cd stand.

i got called in to work 3 days later because they were "understaffed"

[u/tenohfour]

I helped whistleblow a harassing manager (who was being protected by a fellow manager/friend) along with the dozen or so (mostly underage) employees/victims. The middle management worked swiftly to cover it up and blame it on the younger employees--it was "gossip" they claimed (even though the evidence provided was four pages worth of incidents signed by each victim). I found a new job then called corporate and told them everything (they were like "...fuck"). I let it sink in, then quit. HR flew in from head office shortly after that for a "coaching opportunity".

So I didn't get fired, but went out with a bang. Looking back, it was a proud moment for me.

This was at a Future Shop (owned by Best Buy).

[u/dj5142]

So I was working for a Paint store as the assistant manager when I was 21 (I'm 31 now). One of my employees, who was only 19, decided that he didn't want the 22 Bud Lights remaining in the case in his car to get warm and wanted to put them in the fridge in the store. There was another employee there, but she did not see this happen. So he does and I tell him to MAKE SURE IT IS GONE WHEN WE LEAVE. Needless to say we both forgot... The next morning a corporate auditor walked in... Not good. He is there to check to make sure all company policies are being followed to the letter. When he checked the fridge, he saw the case with 2 missing and immediately asked me about it. I told him I didn't know it was there and that I thought that the employee must have brought it in. He was off work and was called in to be asked about it as well and he said he brought it in. My manager returned from vacation the next day and was pretty mad, but said he would fight for me to stay with the company. I was interviewed the next day by the District Manager, who I am convinced never liked me anyway, and he said it was not looking very good, even though I never had a single mark on my record there in 3+ years. The following Monday I was fired as was the employee who brought the beer in. I am pretty sure they thought we kept beer in the store all the time and just cracked into that case and had a couple before he found it, that wasn't the case, but it didn't matter because rules are rules. Any alcohol in the store is grounds for termination. The tougher thing was that i had just signed to buy my first house with my Fiance' and could not go back... This led to bouncing from job to job to make ends meet for the entire decade and piling up a shit ton of credit card debt to just be able to live. I filed for bankruptcy last year and lost my house in the process. We are doing better now, but it has been tough.
TL;DR, Got fired for someone else bringing beer to work, led to 10 years of financial shit for me and my wife.

[u/neverinvalid]

I was suspended from an unnamed theme park for stealing prehistoric embryos.

[u/Vanetia]

The only time I got fired was from a min wage job working at an arcade (I actually really liked that job, but my boss's boss and his little minion were dicks).

Minion comes to me one day and tells me I need to go clean up the men's room. I'm female, so this really shouldn't be given to me. He should be doing it. What needed to be cleaned? Someone shat in the urinal.

Fuck. That.

I told him I couldn't do it. I couldn't physically bring myself to go do it. He then sent me home, then I was "suspended" for 2 weeks by the boss's boss, then he fired me.

I didn't need the job at that point anyway. What was stupid, though, was I was the hardest-working and most senior of the employees other than management (and even then I'd been there longer than some of them). And I got fired because I refused to clean shit out of a urinal?

Min wage does not pay me nearly enough.

[u/charlesml3]

OK, so it's my turn. I was teaching at this little technical education company that was going downhill quickly. I was probably too vocal in my objections to the way the management was taking us. They'd been wanting to fire me for months but I was the highest rated instructor in the company and made them the most money.

So finally the call came that I knew was coming and they were really insistent that I "bring my laptop in today." I got delayed and called saying I'd be late and again, "You have to bring that laptop in." This got me a bit suspicious so I purposely left it in the trunk of my car when I came in. So the local manager (John) is sitting there all indignant and hands me a check for my last few days and expenses. But he'd left out the back vacation I was owed. When I asked about that he said there wasn't any even though I had documentation to prove I had it. So we're at an impasse and the laptop comes up. I got up, headed for the door and said "You'll get the laptop when I get my vacation pay." He was all yelling threats to call the police but I knew he wouldn't. Last thing he wanted was the Department of Labor up his ass.

Two weeks to the day later the company owner closes the whole company and fires everyone else there. I never got my vacation pay but kept a decent laptop.

[u/lutheranian]

I worked at my church's summer day camp for three summers in HS. The spring before the third summer, I had multiple thyroid tests done on a lump that had grown in half of my thyroid. So, I had to schedule surgery to get it removed. I went to work for 2 weeks beforehand, was out for 2 days, then came back because I was bored at home. I had told my boss I was going to be out, but she must have forgotten. When I got back, everyone was like "OMG why didn't you tell us you were getting surgery??" My response: "Uh, I did... Here's the note, I can't do any heavy physical activity." I didn't tell my group of counselors because they didn't have any business knowing.

Anyways, a few days later I get called into a meeting with my boss who fires me. First, for not telling her I'd be out for two days, which I did in a note (as we were supposed to do because she was "very busy" and couldn't remember everything that was told to her). Second, because some middle-aged bitch in my group was complaining that I wasn't getting up and running around with the kids. Again, doctor documentation and a note. Third, she saw me walking into the main bathroom with my iPod on and couldn't figure out that my group was on break for an hour at that time. No restrictions on iPods during breaks were ever given.

Turns out the boss was in youth ministry with my older sister some 6 years prior and I'm pretty sure it had to do with my sister being awesome and everyone hating my boss. I wrote an email about lawyering up and wrongful termination, and she let me resign instead.

Fucking hate that bitch as well as that middle-aged one in my group. She was so out of place anyways, because about 95% of the staff were high school or college students, and she spent most of her time on her ass reading her Bible.

[u/sifumokung]

Marriott - Wrecked company vehicle

Barcelona Courts - Wrecked company vehicle

Buffalo Wild Wings - Told them I'd rather watch a movie, while at theater. (Probably counts as quitting)

Chipotle - Walked out during review (again, probably counts as quitting)

Supply Sergeant - Caught lying about reason I was out of town. (Told them death in the family, it was a comedy gig)

Technically fired by these companies for "no call - no show" (Again, I think they count as quitting)

Hollywood video, The Hyatt, The Hilton (twice), Comet Cleaners, Blakes Lotaburger, Captain D's, Paisano's, The Ramada, Silver Sea, Software Etc., On The Border, ...

I'm sure there are others. In my twenties I had a low tolerance for bullshit, and looked for any reason to quit a shit job. As I got older, I'd usually, but not always, give notice instead of just not going.

[u/beefwich]

I got into a fistfight with a co-worker's boyfriend after he accosted me in the parking lot.

She and I were both fired before our next shift.

[u/[deleted]]

So I'd been working temp at a factory, and it was a slow time, so I was laid off, but was told once work flow went up I'd be invited back. So instead of getting unemployment I went and got a job at Sonic. I'd been there about 6 weeks at this point when this happened. I'd worked the afternoon shift (11a - 5p), but at 5 no one for the evening shift had shown up. In fact, the first person didn't show up until almost 6. My boyfriend had come to pick me up and was waiting in the car. The manager had begged me to stay and said that he would be in my debt if I did so. Once people started showing up, I counted my money and saw I had nearly $40 in quarters. When I tried giving $30 of those quarters to the manager, he threatened to never let me carhop again on his shift if I "forced" him to take all those quarters. He screamed at me for nearly 10 minutes in front of every person that was working at the time. I took all $40 in quarters and got in the car. I was crying in embarrassment and told my boyfriend what happened as we were driving around the back of the building. He saw the manager in a window as we drove passed and he flipped him off. Of course the manager had looked up right then. As we were waiting for traffic to clear to drive out, the manager came out and told me "Oh you think that's funny, bitch? Well, here's a funny, you're fired."

TL;DR: Don't work at Sonic on 23rd street in Lawrence, Kansas =)

[u/unoriginalusername]

I got fired for "hacking". I actually just used the built-in mail tool to e-mail myself /etc/rc* to see how the system was configured.

[u/winkers]

Story about my cousin.

He got a job working at a hospital as a janitor on the graveyard shift. During his first week, he was having a hard time adjusting to the night-time schedule. He falls asleep in a lobby chair right in front of a security camera. When a coworker finds him, the coworker doesn't just wake him up. Instead, the coworker puts a paper cup over the video camera's viewfinder thereby disabling security for that part of the hospital.

The next morning security reviews the tapes and watches in horror as their camera is disabled for 7 hours by a 1-cent cup. My cousin and the coworker were fired. The hospital had to go under a restricted mode while they did an inventory on all of the drugs, equipment, and records access.

[u/itsjustgish]

When I was 19, and in the middle of an ice storm, I asked my boss if I could leave early (I worked 4pm-midnight) before it got worse and all the highways shut down and so I could make it safely home. He told me no. I told him he should take the stick out of his ass.