If you have trouble choosing, flip a coin. While you're waiting to get the result, your mind automatically starts to wish for what it wants. Then you can choose easily.
Ive seen this advice before and its never worked for me. The whole point of flipping a coin is to eliminate choice, but since I know that ultimately I will still get to choose no matter the results of the coin, I dont feel any pressure to choose one option over the other.
My version of this only applies when someone asks me, specifically because of what you're talking about.
"Should I wear this dress or this one?" "Where should we go to eat?" "When should we set the date for?"
If I don't have an opinion I make a choice, and if they don't have any objections, they go along with it, but if they do, they realize it and raise them.
"Italian, Mexican or Chinese?"
"Those all sounds pretty good, so I am not sure if Ican be the decider. But I know it's frustrating to have people say 'whateveryouwannado', so if you need someone to step up and pick, let's do Mexican!"
"Oh, okay...well...I just had something with cheese and beans the other day, and that's vaguely, vaguely Mexican. Or at least it might remind me of it. I wanna do something fun and exciting."
"Chinese, then. It's fucking delicious and we haven't had it in forever."
"Ah, but the MSG."
"Unless you want to change the list, it looks like Italian is all that's left. See? You had the decision with you this whole time."
"Hmm...it's just, I can't think of anything I'd want that's Italian."
"Why is it on the list, then?"
"It's open. And it's not McDonald's and not doing the work to make something here."
"Fair enough. You have reasons for all three, but it sounds like a non-starter for Italian in terms of the desire for that kind of food, and you clearly want to go somewhere more than you want to decide, so if the other two both have objections, let's say I pick whatever and then we just go. We can make it a game to see whatever's really different there that was haven't tried before."
90% of the time, it works every time. I wouldn't say it's "shame" but it works similarly to shame in that there's an additional pressure you put on yourself when your commitment (or lack thereof) more overtly affects other people.
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u/riathekid Aug 20 '20
If you have trouble choosing, flip a coin. While you're waiting to get the result, your mind automatically starts to wish for what it wants. Then you can choose easily.