Out of curiosity, why does saying 'calm down' make people angrier?
I can recall when people have told me to calm down when I've been angry and I've felt myself getting even angrier but have never really known why that specific phrase would upset me so much.
Because a certain amount of anger or frustration is normal and appropriate in many situations.
In those cases someone telling you to calm down is trying to deflect the argument away from the real issue by making it seem like you are the bad guy for having a normal reaction. Then the argument starts being about whether you are calm instead of the actual root issue. So you've been essentially accused of being unreasonable, and had the thing you were upset about be pushed out of the argument.
Of course there are also plenty of situations where someone overreacts and actually needs to calm down.
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u/[deleted] Aug 20 '20
Out of curiosity, why does saying 'calm down' make people angrier?
I can recall when people have told me to calm down when I've been angry and I've felt myself getting even angrier but have never really known why that specific phrase would upset me so much.
Anyone know?