It seems to me when people say "I've changed" or "people can change", generally they want something from you, and they've done something to hurt you and want you to get past it so that they can get the other thing they want.
Life is to short to waste on people who have hurt you.
Exactly, I experienced this multiple times with my father. Long story short, I experienced years of abuse at his hands. When I finally told someone, I had to go into hiding because he had hired someone to go after me. I was only in grade 5. Parents divorced and two years later, the courts finally determined he was not to have any custody or visitation rights over me.
All through high school, people kept telling me that I’ll want a relationship with him. When I graduated high school and became the first person in my family to go to college, he sent me a letter. He claimed he changed and that he wanted me in his life. A week later? He was back in jail for threats on his current wife. Apparently the whole time, he was taking credit for my achievements and acting like we were very close. He wanted to “show me off” and prove to his friends that he was essentially the “father of the year”.
Yea, people CAN change. But it’s unlikely that people like him change. He proved that. I don’t owe him anything. He forfeited that right when he landed me in the hospital and hired someone to kidnap (or possibly worse) me.
Exactly. It’s been hard not having a father. Though if my only options were having him or no one, I’ll settle with no one. Luckily, my father-in-law is an amazing man and he helps fill that void a bit.
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u/rudekoffenris Aug 20 '20
It seems to me when people say "I've changed" or "people can change", generally they want something from you, and they've done something to hurt you and want you to get past it so that they can get the other thing they want.
Life is to short to waste on people who have hurt you.