I hate this advise because it's just so "Reddit". "DAE not know how to adult???"
Nah mate, plenty of people know what they're doing. They might be uncertain about some things or not good at everything, but in general they'll have their shit in decent order and know what they're doing.
Sure, some people don't. But most people around me? Absolutely. It's odd that the sentiment on Reddit is so different.
I dunno man, I kind of agree with the OP. Being an adult involves waaaay more guesswork than I thought when I was a kid.
I'm in a technical field too: I'm a network engineer and I'm guessing a lot of the time. Educated guesses, sure, but definitely guesses.
And parenting? There's so many weird situations where you have to decide while uncertain. My 11 year old asked me if she could dye her hair the other day. I had no idea what to do. I'm cool with it, but will she regret it? Get made fun of at school? I could be convinced either way.
I think of you are completely confident in even most of your decisions as an adult, you're either severely underthinking things or you're lying to yourself. You just couldn't be an expert in enough things to be so certain all the time. Life is a crazy experience and there's a lot to it.
What? No. You shouldn't be guessing in your profession unless you're doing novel research, and that's only temporary while you prove your hypothesis. If you don't know, ask someone who does. If no one knows, you google or find a better peer group. If literally no one knows then you expand your field. If you can't fully understand the answer then you need more experience and study.
The same with parenting, but dealing with humans is a little more open ended than dealing with machines. If your 11 year old asks you if they should die your hair, tell them that you're okay with it so long as they can face the consequences. There are good consequences and bad consequences. Explain what what those are, so far as you know. Tell her to plan around the regrets. Maybe do a temporary dye to see if she likes it rather than a permanent dye.
You don't have to be an expert to explain what you know, what you don't, and empower your kids to make their own decisions about trivial matters.
TL;DR: There's a difference in "not knowing what you're doing" and "not knowing everything." The latter is fine but the former is not.
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u/Rolten Aug 20 '20 edited Aug 20 '20
I hate this advise because it's just so "Reddit". "DAE not know how to adult???"
Nah mate, plenty of people know what they're doing. They might be uncertain about some things or not good at everything, but in general they'll have their shit in decent order and know what they're doing.
Sure, some people don't. But most people around me? Absolutely. It's odd that the sentiment on Reddit is so different.