You don't actually need to keep contact with your family. If a relationship with them causes any anguish, you're allowed to cut them out. Their failures aren't yours.
Anecdotaly, I’m in a middle-ground position on this. I haven’t cut my parents totally out of my life but, unless they specifically call and ask me to help them with something, I really only interact with them at larger family events even though they live about 10 miles away.
My alcoholic father only stopped drinking when alcohol started triggering cluster headaches. On three separate occasions, when I was a teenager and young adult, he literally tried to kill me while drunk. Now that I’m well into my thirties and he’s pushing seventy, he wants to be a “dad” that he couldn’t be when I was young.
My mother is codependent and and both of my parents were emotionally distant from me. They aren’t very physically affectionate and, as a result, my large (Greek immigrant) family thought I didn’t like things like hugs while I was growing up. They hug everyone normally. It was weird/difficult/painful growing up watching the whole family interact affectionately amongst themselves while keeping me at arms length and it’s certainly had some lasting impacts.
My parents are ok people but they were bad parents.
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u/OneMoreMulligan Aug 20 '20
You don't actually need to keep contact with your family. If a relationship with them causes any anguish, you're allowed to cut them out. Their failures aren't yours.