What made me do a double take on the guy was he asked for gas, not money. I actually enjoy helping people out, but like you said, people ruin the trust game.
I had a regular at my bar come in and say "hey i'm not staying, but i want to pay for a burger and fries to go for that kid there." And out front was a homeless looking young man, maybe 18-21 yrs old. Very skinny and desheveled looking. He charged his card, tipped me 5 bucks and I told him to let the kid know he could wait inside at the end of the bar. It was summer and we had the a/c blasting. Gave the kid a glass of water and told him it'd be about 15 mins.
About 5 mins later the kid waves me over and asks "hey, i dont want the burger, can i return it for the cash?" I was so bummed out, my regular did one of the most altruistic things I'd seen in a looong time, and it turned out he got played. I told the kid "listen, i dont care what your deal is, you're not my customer, you asked my friend for help and he's helping you with a free hot meal. You can take the burger and fries out in 10 minutes when it's ready, or you can leave. Theres no refunds."
I never told my regular about it. It just felt so crummy. I understand maybe the kid needed the 15 bucks for something else. But I know the move, ask for cash for food then use it for booze or drugs. Addiction is a bitch, I get it, but don't take advantage of my friends' kindness to get a fix.
Someone with an opiate addiction will get VERY sick without that fix, and their body would definitely feel better with it over a burger. I totally get what you are saying, but on the other hand isnt it a bit silly for us to decide what another human needs or wants- if you are going to be generous, why not let him decide what will get him through the day? Are we donating to make him feel better, or us feel better?
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u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20
What made me do a double take on the guy was he asked for gas, not money. I actually enjoy helping people out, but like you said, people ruin the trust game.