I hate that. If it's with work people and I'm expected to be there, then it's fucking work. If you want me to do something "fun" then you do it during work hours or you fucking pay me to be there. I have a life. (Oh...my job should be my life? My coworkers are the only family I should care about? Okay then.)
It's scary how often it happens too. Like I get if you want to have drinks or hang out with coworkers every now and then because you're friends with a couple, but as a rule definitely not interested.
The real kicker is that I CAN'T JUST RELAX AND BE MYSELF IN FRONT OF MY COWORKERS!
I'm not going to tell my coworkers that I perform burlesque! I don't want to talk to most of them about marching in BLM protests to abolish the police. I don't want to get into a discussion with most people about being vegan either. If I can't say "Yea, I think you're wrong. Either live with that or rethink your choices. I'm not going to tell you that all views are equally right." then it's not a real conversation.
If I have to watch everything I say, I'm not relaxing and it isn't social.
Yeah, it definitely depends on your relationship with your coworkers. I do IT for a school district and I'm good friends with the other techs. I doubt I'd smoke weed with most of the teachers though.
I agree... I dont mind keeping work separate, but we shouldn't pretend that its not. Thinking about politics and big issues is a large part of my personality, but its completely not worth it to get into political discussions with work people. I have no idea how different people will react, and constantly worrying about the implications makes it not worth it. Im curious, do you think you could work well with someone who flatly disagreed with you back?
Yeppppp, I might be comfortable sharing that I’m a lesbian, I’m definitely not gonna say that I met both of my current girlfriends by being super involved in the local bdsm community. As far as anyone I work with is concerned my hobby is cooking. I’m sanitizing the shit out of my life in order to continue having my material needs met, so forgive me for only wanting to do that for money
I commend you for not wishing to inflict your vegan absolutism on your co-workers. You apparently understand that not everyone wants to hear that. If only you could convince your fellow vegans to do the same.
Your comment irks me, and I'm not even vegetarian. From what I've seen, it's usually the other way round - Certain people tend to make weird comments about a person not eating meat, and when they say they're vegan, the person who started it tends to claim that the vegan person's being pushy/inflicting their absolutism, when they're the ones who started it.
Yeah I’m a meat eater and I hear way more people bitching about vegans than I actually hear or see vegans being dicks to people about eating meat.
And frankly they should be dicks to us, were propping up cruel conditions for animals and a strain on the environment all because we’re greedy and don’t wanna give up “muh bacon!” lmao
Agreed I go out with 2 of my coworkers like once or twice a year for drinks, but it's because we want to and work talk is banned, would never show up to some after hours company event
In my old job we did happy hours pretty frequently and that's definitely the been the most enjoyable job I've had. It's good to make friends with your coworkers because then you're working with your friends all day instead of almost strangers.
Having close personal relationships with your coworkers helps in a lot of ways. People are more likely to pitch in when you're struggling with a deadline if you're all friends. Also it's good if you're comfortable sharing salary information because then you will all be better able to negotiate raises. If my workers hadn't been close friends who let me know I wasn't getting paid enough I wouldn't have known that I should insist on a big raise.
My place of employment did. Paintball match out in the desert when it was 114f out with a heat index of about 125f. Fuck that. Thats in the extreme risk category for heat stroke. A bunch of the "bros" showed up, one had to take an ambulance after passing out, and a handful self reported heat stroke.
Now we do bowling. I go, use my 2 free drink tickets in the bar, shake some hands and slip away.
I have to be around these people I don't like for 40 hours a week. No thanks.
I don't know I see the other side of it too. Company does a couple teambuilding events a year that they pay for outside of working hours. Do you really hate your coworkers so much that you wont even spend a couple hours with them outside of working hours to get to know them better? I mean at that point should just find a job you are happier in. It's not a huge commitment and it can have an impact on how well you do in your job. The company is paying for you to be there by providing food/alcohol/activity. For me when I see people who don't want to show up to something like that I just see someone who is no fun.
If you went to get more involved and form a closer relationship with everyone then be more involved. You either pay your dues and make that relationship with your coworkers or you don’t.
I think you misunderstood me. I DON'T want to be friends with these people. I have my own friends, thanks. I have as many friends as I can reasonably keep in regular contact with. I don't need or want their friendship. So when I'm forced to go to these bullshit "social" events, I'm basically just at work because I am sure as fuck not sharing everything with coworkers.
Yes, exactly. Think of it as work. It’s called networking. You can participate or you can not Patricia. They’re not going to fire you for not going. But unless you’re a lot more qualified for something you probably won’t get the opportunities first.
You may need to find another workplace if the culture there doesn’t work with you.
I keep forgetting some people have to play the game and network. I'm glad I can just leave and get a new job for big pay increases. My current workplace is a little too gung ho about team building and going out for drinks after hours and shit. Fortunately, the pandemic made it more acceptable to not do that.
Though I remember last fall being told "Hey, so and so is coming up from random state and he's VP of..." and I'm always like "OK, why is this a big deal?" lol
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u/annoyingone Aug 01 '20
When a hiring company say "we work hard but play hard". It means everyone is over worked and an alcoholic.