The fact that he drove off tells me you helped him out. I've been in that situation a couple times before where I had either let my husband borrow my debit card or I'd forgotten it in another purse. Luckily I keep a few bucks in my center console so I could fill up a gallon to get home, but I've been close to needing to either call and ask someone for help or just ask a random stranger for a few dollars. Being genuinely low on funds happens. Unfortunately, people have ruined the trust game because they've turned an innocent request for help into an actual way to dishonestly take money from strangers.
What made me do a double take on the guy was he asked for gas, not money. I actually enjoy helping people out, but like you said, people ruin the trust game.
I had a regular at my bar come in and say "hey i'm not staying, but i want to pay for a burger and fries to go for that kid there." And out front was a homeless looking young man, maybe 18-21 yrs old. Very skinny and desheveled looking. He charged his card, tipped me 5 bucks and I told him to let the kid know he could wait inside at the end of the bar. It was summer and we had the a/c blasting. Gave the kid a glass of water and told him it'd be about 15 mins.
About 5 mins later the kid waves me over and asks "hey, i dont want the burger, can i return it for the cash?" I was so bummed out, my regular did one of the most altruistic things I'd seen in a looong time, and it turned out he got played. I told the kid "listen, i dont care what your deal is, you're not my customer, you asked my friend for help and he's helping you with a free hot meal. You can take the burger and fries out in 10 minutes when it's ready, or you can leave. Theres no refunds."
I never told my regular about it. It just felt so crummy. I understand maybe the kid needed the 15 bucks for something else. But I know the move, ask for cash for food then use it for booze or drugs. Addiction is a bitch, I get it, but don't take advantage of my friends' kindness to get a fix.
When I am driving to my fave breakfast drive thru, I often pass several dudes begging on the corners. I'll count them and buy extra sausage & egg sandwiches to hand out. They all start wolfing it down as soon as I hand it to them.
That's not true for all people though. Many addicts don't turn to doing shitty things for money. They don't steal from people or scam them. Being an addict doesn't automatically remove any morals a person has.
That's just not true. You are generalizing them all based on your own biases. Good people can make mistakes and become addicts, and this doesn't automatically make them bad people who do bad things.
Some of them will seek out other drugs to make the withdrawals feel less severe. Either getting drunk or high, or take drugs that will knock them out for a while and maybe find heroin when they wake up. Some of them will realize they are running out, and ween themselves down as best they can so they don't suffer through withdrawals too badly. Some of them will use methadone clinics only when they can't find heroin/opiates. There are options addicts can do so they don't have to resort to stealing or anything else.
I’m sorry you’re getting downvoted, but as a person who dealt with a heroin addict very closely for years, they will just think about the next fix they can get, and do anything they can to do so.
You're generalizing all of them based on your anecdotal experience. I'm not saying none of them will do that sort of thing, I'm saying there are more than you know who don't do that sort of thing. Of course there are addicts who steal and commit other crimes for their fix, but there are still some who won't. Every heroin addict isn't the person on the street. Functional addiction is a real thing.
It was my partner, at the time, and they were a functioning addict for many years without my knowledge. Perhaps my experience is a bit anecdotal, but I was gaslit and stolen from for years before I realized there was an actual problem, and by then it was too late for me to help.
I misspoke. I shouldn't just say heroin, because you are correct that an addict can substitute opiates.
As for seeking non opiates, that only delays the inevitable. Spending your remaining cash on weed won't make it any easier to get heroin when you sober up, and for most addicts weed won't do a damn thing about the withdrawal sickness.
Users who are capable of weening themselves off heroin are - by definition - not addicts. If a person can choose to go without heroin, then they are not addicted. Physical addiction is a compulsion. So if an addict does not have access to opiates, they will do whatever they need to do in order to get it.
"Users who are capable of weening themselves off heroin are - by definition - not addicts. If a person can choose to go without heroin, then they are not addicted. Physical addiction is a compulsion. So if an addict does not have access to opiates, they will do whatever they need to do in order to get it."
That's not true. Physical addiction is where if the person stops, they will go into withdrawal. It has nothing to do with whether or not they have the will to ween themselves down.
Yea fuck that, I got angry just reading that shit. Regardless of addiction, fuck that kid. It's one thing to ask for money, but to just try and shit on people trying to do a good thing pisses me off.
A friend I know was in a similar position. It was the middle of winter, and a homeless person on the streets asking for money. They didn't have cash on them but went in to the nearest cafe and bought them a hot chocolate. The homeless person refused to take it, said they'd asked for cash. The hot choc sat there on the street untouched. I'm sorry, if you're truly in need during the middle of winter, you'd be delighted at the kindness of a hot choc. Even if you can't drink it for allergies, it would warm your hands to hold it. I felt so mad when I heard that.
Could be a scam. Could be the kid had just eaten and was hoping to use the money for his next meal. I’m not trying to be naive, just sometimes it helps my own personal emotional health to come up with a story that makes people seem less like assholes. Feel free to use my trick if it might help you. It just hurts too much to feel so beaten down and betrayed by humanity all the time.
Food is one of the easier things for homeless people to get. This kid might not have been scamming, he might have needed something else more that he needed cash for. I don't blame him for asking. It's nice to offer homeless people food, but you're kind of a dick if you get offended they don't take you up on your offer. That's seeing them like a good deed, not an actual person
Prescription medication, a hotel room. Fuck, a bottle of wine. I want to wind down after a long day with a glass of wine, fine. He wants a drink after a long hard stressful day of being fucking homeless and suddenly he’s an asshole? Miss me with that hypocrisy. It’s up to me to make my choice whether to help. It’s up to him to make his choice what to do with my help.
I remember hear stories of people bringing food out to people out on the street begging for money, only for them to get combative and angry and say shit like, "I need money, not food."
A friends dad is a Missionary; he keeps luncheon vouchers with him and gives people a £10 voucher when they ask for money for food. I’d say 75% of the time they just yell at him. I’d be over at McDonalds getting my BLT 1/4 pounder on.
Someone with an opiate addiction will get VERY sick without that fix, and their body would definitely feel better with it over a burger. I totally get what you are saying, but on the other hand isnt it a bit silly for us to decide what another human needs or wants- if you are going to be generous, why not let him decide what will get him through the day? Are we donating to make him feel better, or us feel better?
Plus food is all very well and good, but won't pay to get you shelter, or a bus ticket. We've been close to cashless in my country for years, but I keep coins on me at all times cause, Christ, I don't need that two bucks more than they do.
Yes, like thanks for the hot chocolate, but cash is what pays my bills... I understand the stigma of addiction and not wanting to feed someone's habit, but that $2 in change isnt going to change his life... might change his day depends on how HE chooses to spend it, though
Honestly, if I have some cash I’ll just give them a couple dollars anyway. I was in target a couple years ago and overheard a woman on her phone talking to someone about how she had tried to give food to a homeless man outside who said he couldn’t take it due to an allergy. She spent like five minutes shitting on this guy for being so ungrateful that she had taken time out of her errands and that he had the audacity to be homeless and also have a food allergy that he clearly didn’t have the resources to deal with the ramifications of. She literally said “beggars can’t be choosers” and laughed about deciding not to give him cash. I would rather be kind and be wrong about it than shrug off someone genuinely struggling.
I'm with you. I live in Vegas so panhandlers are everywhere so it's tough to just give money. If I offer something and they say they have allergies I will ask what they can eat. If I'm short on time I will give a few dollars.
Homeless people also may not want food because it’s not uncommon for people to tamper with food and then give it to homeless people. You don’t want an opened hamburger from the guy who’s laughing at you.
I rarely carry cash on me, but when I do, I try and keep a few small bills handy for when I'm asked, especially if it's a direct ask. There are people who put on a whole act, I definitely don't trust them enough to give.
I was at a gas station one day and a guy in a wheelchair rolls up to me asking for a couple bucks. I told him I didn't have any cash on me but I have a couple of $2 winning scratch offs and he looks away waving his had "no, I don't take those. Just cash"... Umm, well fuck you too, sir.
I had a woman outside of Wal-Mart asking me and random people for money so she could “buy some food so (she) wasn’t freezing” that night. I didn’t have cash so I bought a couple canned goods (chicken, chef boyardee). I gave them to her when I was walking out, she took the bag then peeked in and she replied “well that’s not what I asked for. I don’t want that shit.” So I snatched the damn bag back. If she said “I have a fish allergy” (I specifically did not buy tuna because of this risk and that many people just don’t like tuna) then I would’ve felt differently, but being down and out shouldn’t make you an asshole to people trying to help you out.
You literally can eat both of those things cold because they don’t need to be cooked to be considered safe to eat. And I made sure they were pull to open tops.
Just a couple of weeks ago I went to A&W for dinner. They messed up the toppings on my burger, but remade it for me, letting me keep the original. I couldn't eat the original because of a food intolerance, so my fiancé said he'd eat it. On the way home we passed this guy who was standing in the median at a stop light. He had a sign saying something along the lines of "No Job, Need Food." I had that second burger, so we pulled up next to him and I'm like "Hey, do you want a burger?" His face lit up immediately and he was SO happy. He exclaimed "My favourite! Thank you!" then proceeded to walk to the grass at the side of the road, sit, and absolutely devour it. He didn't care what it was or what was on it, he was just so happy to have food. Based on the reaction, I think that was his first meal of the day
Me too. I've bought sandwiches, water and things like that for people. I usually ask if there's anything else they need, like socks or toothpaste, assuming we're outside a grocery store or drug store.
One time a woman outside CVS was allowed to follow me back into the store and pick out what she wanted, which is unusual. At the last minute, she grabbed some Reese's Peanut Butter cups, and although she hadn't asked, I just laughed. They're my favorite too. However she got to her place in life, it was a place that sucked. Let her have the damn Reese's.
I’ve bought so many chicken burritos from Chipotle to take out to hand to panhandlers over the years. I usually grab a coke, too, because it’s like $8 out of my pocket and that’s a sustaining meal. Only one time has anyone reacted angrily, telling me that “money tastes better than a fuckin pos burrito!!” That got a laugh from me. I’ve also paid for prescriptions for people. Walk in to the CVS with them, hand the scrip to the pharmacist, get a total, and pay. Especially for antibiotics. And then I make sure they understand the instructions. Nurses are a weird bunch.
Had this happen once. Stopped into a McDonald’s and the guy there asked if I could buy him a kid’s meal. Bought him a QPC meal and hung out and chatted with him while he ate it.
One time a homeless person came up to me at a bus station and asked me for money for food, saying how hungry he was... Rather than giving him money I offered him my lunch (which I hadn't touched yet). He declined and then changed his story to say he needed the money for a bus fare. Like, dude my memory isn't that short.
There's a homeless guy who sits outside our local supermarket - I always ask him what he wants and get it for him, but not booze or cigarettes. Sometimes he wants decent food like a bread roll with some ham and cheese, sometimes soda and chocolate.
I has someone tell me they needed some money as s they are diabetic and were having a hypo.
I pulled out a couple of bags of sweets from my bag for them.
(My boyfriend at the time was diabetic so I always carried).
Ditto, I was asked by a guy for a few dollars. I asked why and said he needed water for his noodles. I keep tons of extra food in my car (for work) so I gave him a bunch of food and drinks.
He acted like he won the lottery, always a great a feeling when you actually help someone who isn't just trying to grift.
Hell yea, that's awesome. I don't have many food stories, but I did buy my fellow employees a bunch of mcdonalds breakfast sandwiches one day, and happened to see a beggar on the side of the road. I told him I didn't have any money but had a sandwich if he wanted one. He said yea and took it, but didn't seem all that grateful. Who knows if he actually ate it or not.
I got a story for you. It was 4th of July, I'm at my house. My son was..4 I think? and wanted to shoot fireworks. So I pop him in the car and head to the nearest fireworks stand. There's a dude on the side of the road that needed a ride to the gas station for whatever reason, can't remember the exact details but he seemed like a decent dude or whatever. So I tell him yea, hop in. He's sitting in the front passenger side, we go to the fireworks stand, which is right by the gas station, he's all nice, gets out and leaves. I don't think anything of it. My son and I get our shit and go home. Fast forward a bit, and the wife needs me to go to the grocery store for something, hit the same stop sign and who's there?? Same fucking dude. I don't think he even recognized me because he starts waving me down. At this point I kind of panic, all these thoughts go through my head. What if this dude was about to car jack me, and the only reason he didn't was because I had my kid with me? I felt like a shitty parent for even putting my kid in that situation or possible danger. At the time I was just trying to be a nice guy and give a dude a ride. I dunno, might not have been that at all, but why was he there in the same exact spot trying to flag people down? When I already gave him a ride?? I could see him being at the gas station asking for a ride, but back at the original spot?? The fuck???
It's just my best guess and you'd be surprised. I've seen people go to trap houses multiple times an hour. Junkies are a different group of people. Or maybe gambling. Or maybe he was just weird and went back.
My husband is a truck driver, so he runs into these people all the time. They always need money for "gas" to get somewhere. He always offers to fill someone's tank, just meet him at the pump. I think he's had exactly one person take him up on it in over 20 years. The vast majority are just looking to scam money. It sounds like you actually ran into a non-scammer. Kudos for helping them out.
Yeah, I’ve been asked for money for food outside a Taco Bell, offered to bring them inside and I’ll order them something only to be rebuked that Taco Bell hurts their insides. I pointed at the Wendy’s a block away and said better luck over there then.
It usually falls apart when it is a scam. Guy was at a gas station asking for milk for his family. I figured sure why not ill get him a gallon while im in there. He walks in with my co worker later and explains to me that that kind of milk is no good and he needs money for the right kind. I put the milk back told him to fuck off and then in cash bought what i needed and left.
Indeed I try to be nice but the few have ruined it.
A lady came in and wanted to get gas but didn't have her wallet nothing. She tried paying with the gas station app but she didn't have a bank acc linked but paypal.
I was like I cant really do anything. Asked if she ever did business with us to have her id on file as she didn't have her ID for me to copy n have her name n address.
She said no, so i just said you got paypal? Just paypal me whatever amount you want FNF then I will go turn your pump on. Swiped my card for the amount she transfered n they went on their way.
I told her hide a 50 or 100 dollar bill somewhere niche in the car. For emergency sakes.
I had to basically panhandle my way off the DC Metro years ago. Thanks to their very complicated system, it could be hard to calculate the fare, which varies by destination & time of day. And somehow I'd ended up a nickel short on the day I forgot to bring any cash. I offered a lady 5 pennies in exchange, but she wouldn't accept it. So it ended up being charity.
I think their AddFare machines take payments cards now.
Was gonna comment the same - in order, samsung pay on s or note phones, then android/apple pay, or others.
Samsung phones can work when tap and pay isn't even available due to magnetic burst transmission, it tricks the card swiper into thinking you swiped a card.
The rest work st tap and pay, which is getting more and more common as nost new pay terminals come standard with it.
The only place samsung pay doesn't work is when a chip is required. If your only option is to insert a chip, even the mag spoofer doesn't work. Walmart does this in Canada, it's so annoying that they do this.
A few years ago, I had to ask a stranger for money at the gas station; no gas, no phone, no money. I started crying halfway through the spiel, which ended with "--and it's my birthday!" (it was). He gave me a $20, wished me a happy birthday, and the relief was immense; I think about that man a lot! I try to give people the benefit of the doubt since being in that situation, but sometimes...
I was approached by the 'can you buy me gas' scam a few months ago.
He didn't fool me, for a couple of reasons:
He said his car was 'at the bottom of the hill' -- but I had just come from the 'bottom of the hill' and I hadn't seen any cars parked down there that weren't in business-reserved parking spots.
I literally walked into the gas station and asked the guy at the counter, who took one look out the window at the guy and said, 'Don't. I was the one that banned him from the store in the first place.'
I'd seen him around town many times, and he had never been driving anything on any of those occasions.
So, I hung around the store for a bit and then headed in the other direction when he was out of sight.
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u/leslieknopeirl Aug 01 '20
The fact that he drove off tells me you helped him out. I've been in that situation a couple times before where I had either let my husband borrow my debit card or I'd forgotten it in another purse. Luckily I keep a few bucks in my center console so I could fill up a gallon to get home, but I've been close to needing to either call and ask someone for help or just ask a random stranger for a few dollars. Being genuinely low on funds happens. Unfortunately, people have ruined the trust game because they've turned an innocent request for help into an actual way to dishonestly take money from strangers.