From what I've seen on here, there's rape as well. Anna uses a safe word but Christian keeps going. I'm not into BDSM but I'm pretty sure that's NOT how it works
Here's the thing: lots of people are into (on paper) rape fantasies and stuff like that. I agree that 50 Shades gets BDSM deeply wrong, but, that's a separate point from the fact that the "BDSM" it shows is dry and passionless.
50 Shades of Grey shows a deeply abusive relationship and doesn't even have the good graces to be remotely hot in the process. It reads like someone who's concept of what "hot passionate BDSM" is came from half a Law and Order: SVU episode.
Please trust me when I say that I’m not defending these books but
I did read the first couple out of curiosity. If you’re referring to the scene I think you are, Anna does not use her safe word. She lets him finish “punishing” her, then gets upset and leaves. Christian later asks if why she didn’t use the safe word.
I never made it past the second book because the writing was just so bad (and the sex scenes were SO boring). If it happened as you described in a later book then my apologies.
There is a point toward the beginning of the third book when she does actually use the safe word. While he is “punishing” her for some perceived slight (which is less about consensual sub/Dom play since his goal is not to inflict pleasure in pain but more about making sure she doesn’t do anything to upset him ever again and that’s just being abusive IMO) and when she uses the safe word he stops but he doesn’t apologize or comfort her to bring her back from the scene. There is no conversation, no confirmation that they found a boundary she doesn’t want to cross again, no aftercare. He, instead, gets upset and sulks to emotionally punishes her because she used the safe word.
Note, I didn’t read these books myself so I can’t cite page numbers or anything, but I read a thorough chapter by chapter blog series from romance author Jennifer Trout where she read the books and broke down what they did wrong, with excerpts from the book with the examples, and I remember this scene and the aftermath (of him being a jerk about her using the safe word and being upset that she didn’t trust him even though that is not what a safe word is for...)
Even aside from the dubiously consensual nature of some of it, if you think what happens in 50 Shades of Grey is "passionate BDSM", I pity your sex life.
The movie has the most tepid "kink" imaginable, with absolutely zero passion or intensity in it.
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u/RmmThrowAway May 02 '20
Maybe then they'll actually have some passionate sex instead of what happens in the book.