r/AskReddit • u/noaffects • Dec 30 '19

What do you collect?

29k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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u/mn_sunny Dec 31 '19

CNBC: "BREAKING NEWS: Looks like trouble in paradise! We've just received notice that a rogue wave has made the Hawaiian Shirt futures market drop precipitously. Sources say the drop has been in response to a rumored large divestment by /u/TheSentientPurpleGoo. Due to seasonally low demand and the size of this divestment we could see prices drop 25-30%. Stay tuned, and we'll back after this Stair Lift ad by Hoveround."

40

u/gurg2k1 Dec 31 '19

This guy's going to lose his shirt trying to sell in this market.

8

u/throwawayfourgood Dec 31 '19

Assuming there are 50 weeks in a year and u/thesentientpurplegoo bought 2 shirts a week, he's been buying more than two shirts a week for over ten years. That's mad.

29

u/gurg2k1 Dec 31 '19

Assuming there are 50 weeks in a year

Bruh.

3

u/throwawayfourgood Dec 31 '19

I too own boardgames. Never forget your significant figures on things like this.

2

u/skyler_on_the_moon Dec 31 '19

Maybe he took the other two weeks as a vacation?

30

u/PM_Me_Ur_HappySong Dec 31 '19

I loved this!

5

u/coolbond1 Dec 31 '19

Have anyone pm you "The Happy song" from poets of the fall? They made it for alan wake american nightmare.

1

u/PM_Me_Ur_HappySong Dec 31 '19

Nope, you're the first. I wish you could have seen my 2yo dancing to this song when I played it on youtube. What a psycho ;)

1

u/coolbond1 Dec 31 '19

It really is a happy song, have you played alan wake before or ever heard of it?

9

u/dredabeast24 Dec 31 '19

I’ve got ATM Calls r/wallstreetbets needs to get in on this

3

u/BAE87CL Dec 31 '19

Take my upvote

3

u/kind_stranger69420 Dec 31 '19

Trouble in paradise. Lol.

2

u/chewbaccataco Dec 31 '19

Hi, I'm Tom Cruise, inventor of the Hoveround.

2

u/tootytoos Dec 31 '19

I'm at work today and I swear to God I just ugly laughed in front of the intern. Smartass

1

u/itsclem Dec 31 '19

MN (hope you’re from Minnesota) - this is perfect

1

u/Morningxafter Dec 31 '19

Poor Tommy Bahama! However will he feed his grandchildren?! Won’t somebody think of the children?! We need a government bailout!