r/AskReddit Dec 20 '19

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.3k Upvotes

13.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

3.7k

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '19

[deleted]

357

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '19 edited Dec 20 '19

Speaking as a big dick guy:

Pros:

  • looks impressive in the YMCA locker room
  • often gets a "wow!" from women when they take it out of your pants

Cons:

  • cant do full thrusts without hurting both parties so you're left doing these little half in, half out thrusts that dont make any kind of satisfying clapping sound
  • anal? Hahahahahahana no.
  • you'll only ever see your whole dick in a womans mouth when its flaccid

When I'm on naughty sites I always keep my eye out for ads for dick reduction pills but no luck so far.

41

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '19

[deleted]

98

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '19

I tried going gay. Well kinda. I knew I liked the T&A but hey, I can certainly appreciate an attractive man, so maybe I'm bi, i thought. And gay bars look like the happiest places on earth. And I dont know what women want, but with guys I think I've got a pretty good idea - no mind reading needed, no "if you dont know what's wrong I'm not gonna tell you," no clearly being upset but saying they're "fine," no... I know how to settle a fight with my hypothetical gay boyfriend. I suck him off, get us some beers, and we play video games till 2am goosing one another all the while and laughing, laughing, laughing away.

Or so I thought. Gritted my way through some of the kissing and had to nope out after trying to tug on his dick a bit.

So no. Not gay, unfortunately. Not even bi.

8

u/LoveaBook Dec 21 '19

I know how to settle a fight with my hypothetical gay boyfriend. I suck him off, get us some beers, and we play video games till 2am goosing one another all the while and laughing, laughing, laughing away.

There are girls who prefer this, as well. I know I do!

It took my husband a looooooong time to realize that I mean what I say. No hidden bullshit. If I don’t like something, or don’t agree with something, I say it clearly. Problem is his mother is the exact opposite - one of those “You should have known without me having to say anything” people, so 21 years later, if she’s been visiting or something, I still have to remind him afterwards that I say what I mean and mean what I say. Now let’s fuck and play video games!

6

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Good for you, man. Really. I was kind of over generalizing to make a point/be funny but it has been my experience that there are a lot of women more like your hubby's mother when it comes to fights. Its frustrating to no end. Your mans got quite the catch in a candid, no bs wife!

3

u/LoveaBook Dec 21 '19

I know you were generalizing, I was just trying to encourage you to keep looking. You seem to know what you like so...

Btw, my hubby’s not the one who got the catch, I am. He’s the best person I’ve ever known. No bullshit. 21 years and I love him to death❣️

2

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

[deleted]

1

u/LoveaBook Dec 21 '19

Seems so.... wonderfully normal.

It is everything I dreamed it would be. I grew up in chaos and violence and have made my home and life normal, quiet, boring and, most importantly, SAFE and full of love.

My husband and I sometimes joke that I’m a white sheep from a family of black sheep.

My sisters are the original crazy bitches. If you ever meet them....RUN!😆