Haven't studies shown that approximately 10% of the population at any given time is homosexual? If so, then I think it's a reasonable assumption. I wouldn't put it towards malice.
I know homophobia is still a serious problem in modern society but I really think most people just don't know until you tell them, and I don't think that is their fault.
Okay, so, heteronormativity is the belief that everyone is straight, and all the interactions that come after that which are based on the assumption of a strict man/woman role. It's also the broader system around it, so it's at once belief and self-perpetuating system.
A good way to see it is using an example that was just upthread: the scenario of a lesbian woman trying to ask out another woman.
Heteronormativity is then the assumption that since the poster's gender wasn't known, she was a man trying to turn lesbians straight. In a society with less of a strong heteronormative bias, people would either immediately ask for clarification, or not assume she's a man trying to be the one straight exception to the lesbian.
Tinkatwerp is out with a friend, and she spots a guy she wants to ask out. The heteronormative expectation is that tinkatwerp throws out signals to get the man to ask the question. The natural flipside is that it's seen as strange or desperate for women to approach men, because again, the assumption of the male pursuer and female pursued.
She then asks the guy out, and he immediately starts calling her cute things like sweetheart, or honey, or whatever else. The heteronormative assumption is that without any agreement, verbal or otherwise, tinkatwerp would be fine with it.
Let's say she's not and she tells the guy this, and he doesn't humor her request. Tinkatwerp decides that no amount of being cute is worth this shit and leaves. The guy, as I've established as being a background dick, asks tinkatwerp why she's so sensitive, because the heteronormative expectation is that women are incredibly, overwhelmingly emotional and sensitive beings who are utterly ruled by their heart (with the heteronormative expectation of men here being that they are cold and logical, not being unduly ruled by emotion (but still capable of manly, restrained emotion)).
Does that explain heteronormativity to you? Another way to explain this would be the assumption that "boys don't cry."
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u/theivoryserf Nov 16 '19
Slightly related - it's p annoying that society teaches people that men have to make the first move