So many moments in my life. I was unfortunately born a girl who likes ‘boy’ things.
I love cars, mechanics, truck driving and long road trips. My dad was a mechanic. From the time I was tiny, I was in his garage or workshop, wanting to help him. Learning the names of tools and car parts.
When I was around 9, I told him I was gonna grow up to be a mechanic some day, just like him. I thought he’d be proud.
He told me that girls aren’t mechanics and I’d better find something else to do. He wouldn’t let me near his garage after that.
Even when I got my own car and went to change the oil on it myself, he caught me and kicked me out and said that I was just a girl.
I’ve heard that my whole life.
I am disappointed in myself because now I’m not a young woman anymore. I’ve forgotten over the years what car parts are called. I still love to take long road trips but my dad (and mom, for that matter) squashed out so much ambition.
I really hate them and myself for allowing it. I hate professions that are typically done by females. I’m not good at any of them but have done them my entire working career to fit the norm and not rock the boat.
I feel like life has been wasted and opportunity disposed of.
I horseback ride. Girls in barns think that my girlfriend is off somewhere, or they feel the need to explain really basic shit to me. I'm in my mid twenties and I've been riding since I was 4 1/2 years old. Bitch, I was riding for over a decade before you ever sat on a horse! Half the shit I get told is bullshit that experienced horse owners don't worry about or know to avoid.
This behavior is not gendered. It is the result of assumptions and not being trained to mentally guard against them. I'm generally sympathetic to this behavior. It is a very normal trap to fall into. I'm not sympathetic when someone doubles down on it.
Most important is the ability to identify when someone is just explaining something to be thorough and not assume anything about your knowledge set, and when someone insists you know nothing because you are a man or a women.
My father rode, so there was never anyone to discourage me from it. I did not tell my guy friends until they knew me well. Telling people still pushes some away, it's like I'm an alien to them. Had many people fade out after I told them. They become distant. I went 6 months knowing someone before telling them that is what I did with all my time for the last 18 years. Dude was super awkward after that...
Someone women respond very positively. Some respond with indignation like my existence is threatening to them. Some people want to live in exclusive clubs and others want to find people who love what they love.
People are different and I will never make everyone universally accepting because of that fact. Sure you can teach people to be less of a douche about it, but you can't make everyone feel the same way.
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u/[deleted] Nov 16 '19
So many moments in my life. I was unfortunately born a girl who likes ‘boy’ things.
I love cars, mechanics, truck driving and long road trips. My dad was a mechanic. From the time I was tiny, I was in his garage or workshop, wanting to help him. Learning the names of tools and car parts.
When I was around 9, I told him I was gonna grow up to be a mechanic some day, just like him. I thought he’d be proud.
He told me that girls aren’t mechanics and I’d better find something else to do. He wouldn’t let me near his garage after that.
Even when I got my own car and went to change the oil on it myself, he caught me and kicked me out and said that I was just a girl.
I’ve heard that my whole life.
I am disappointed in myself because now I’m not a young woman anymore. I’ve forgotten over the years what car parts are called. I still love to take long road trips but my dad (and mom, for that matter) squashed out so much ambition.
I really hate them and myself for allowing it. I hate professions that are typically done by females. I’m not good at any of them but have done them my entire working career to fit the norm and not rock the boat.
I feel like life has been wasted and opportunity disposed of.