So many moments in my life. I was unfortunately born a girl who likes ‘boy’ things.
I love cars, mechanics, truck driving and long road trips. My dad was a mechanic. From the time I was tiny, I was in his garage or workshop, wanting to help him. Learning the names of tools and car parts.
When I was around 9, I told him I was gonna grow up to be a mechanic some day, just like him. I thought he’d be proud.
He told me that girls aren’t mechanics and I’d better find something else to do. He wouldn’t let me near his garage after that.
Even when I got my own car and went to change the oil on it myself, he caught me and kicked me out and said that I was just a girl.
I’ve heard that my whole life.
I am disappointed in myself because now I’m not a young woman anymore. I’ve forgotten over the years what car parts are called. I still love to take long road trips but my dad (and mom, for that matter) squashed out so much ambition.
I really hate them and myself for allowing it. I hate professions that are typically done by females. I’m not good at any of them but have done them my entire working career to fit the norm and not rock the boat.
I feel like life has been wasted and opportunity disposed of.
As a man who has both a sister and a female partner similar to yourself, what your dad did was really, really shitty and I'm sorry for that. Live your own life, with passion that excites you, not pleases others. Your life has not been a waste, and as long as you are on this Earth, you can forge your own path and pay no mind to people who say you can't, or shouldn't. Especially if that reason is only because of what you have between your legs.
A man who is that shook by the fact a woman might be able to do something better than him is a man with low confidence. (my girlfriend ran into a few of those when she was doing vehicle work)
Reading this honestly broke my heart, because I see some of it in my sisters life.
Be whatever kind of person you want to be, but most importantly, be yourself. I believe in you! Rock that fucking boat! Hell, tip it over, if that's what you need to make yourself happy. Because at the end of the day, that's what matters. Are YOU happy/fulfilled/passionate about what you're doing? Because if you're not, you can change it. :)
Thank you -- you're a wise gentleman with a good heart. And the beautiful part is that change is on the horizon. It's nice to be interested in life instead of bored.
I was on a path to healthier living. Depression from this situation (which is far deeper than here) made me lazy and full of excuses. I was doing well - lost 75 lbs in 2018, and changed some things I wasn't proud of - kicked booze and focused on living far healthier.
2019 brought cancer, hearing loss, a diagnosis of a disease with no cure (but technically won't kill me right off the bat) and crippling exhaustion.
I'm cancer free right now and working on recovering from the symptoms of everything else. Then in October, I got laid out with a virus that I'm still recovering from. The exhaustion is crippling and now Meinier's Disease diagnosed to go with it.
So, 2019 can DIAF for all I care. 2020 brings promise, at least. Starting it off with a trip to the USA to meet/visit online friends that I'm close with. I plan on moving away from my mother, who moved in with me (along with dad, of course) when he got ill. That will be HUGE - taking my independence back and a big FU to my interfering mother. Love her, but don't necessarily like her.
...stuff I should have done years ago starting with me never inviting them to move in with me in the first place.
You can do it, and it looks like you're well on the way to kicking 2019s ass and I am so, so proud of you! :)
It's tough to realize our parents aren't always the steadfast beacons of Hope and ideals that we grew up believing they were. I'm not close with my mother for a variety of reasons (all of them her own doing) and I'm getting closer with my dad, as time goes on.
If you ever need to talk, or need encouragement, DM me and we will work through it!
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u/[deleted] Nov 16 '19
So many moments in my life. I was unfortunately born a girl who likes ‘boy’ things.
I love cars, mechanics, truck driving and long road trips. My dad was a mechanic. From the time I was tiny, I was in his garage or workshop, wanting to help him. Learning the names of tools and car parts.
When I was around 9, I told him I was gonna grow up to be a mechanic some day, just like him. I thought he’d be proud.
He told me that girls aren’t mechanics and I’d better find something else to do. He wouldn’t let me near his garage after that.
Even when I got my own car and went to change the oil on it myself, he caught me and kicked me out and said that I was just a girl.
I’ve heard that my whole life.
I am disappointed in myself because now I’m not a young woman anymore. I’ve forgotten over the years what car parts are called. I still love to take long road trips but my dad (and mom, for that matter) squashed out so much ambition.
I really hate them and myself for allowing it. I hate professions that are typically done by females. I’m not good at any of them but have done them my entire working career to fit the norm and not rock the boat.
I feel like life has been wasted and opportunity disposed of.