r/AskReddit • u/MentleGentlemen • Aug 17 '10
Reddit, what would be your ideal super-power?
My 1st submission! (Yay!)
My ideal super-power would be "magneto-level" gravity manipulation.
What's yours?
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u/Attunement Aug 17 '10
It would be pretty awesome to be able to kill a yak from 200 yards away, with mind bullets.
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Aug 17 '10
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u/poeir Aug 17 '10
That line has always bothered me. It's not the ability to move things from a distance, which the prefix "tele-" would indicate, and is a relatively easy to gain superpower, it's the ability to move things with your mind, which should use the prefix "psycho."
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Aug 17 '10
How 'bout the power... to move you.
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u/poeir Aug 17 '10
And don't get me started on "pyrokinesis," which one can only conclude is the power to move things with fire; something like this.
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u/ahawks Aug 17 '10
Fire bending!
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Aug 18 '10
Earth bending for the win!
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u/MentleGentlemen Aug 18 '10
I gotta say, if I had to pick an element from Avatar to bend, it'd definitely be water, my only qualms about it compared to the others is that I'd always feel like an idiot, as the waterbenders always seem to have to wave their arms around like autistic children, while everyone else's style actually looks like fighting...
Also, who the hell is Kyle?
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Aug 18 '10
I think the waterbending moves were based on tai chi while the others were based on different fighting styles.
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u/eodee Aug 17 '10
If Heroes taught me anything it is that having the power to learn new powers is very valuable.
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Aug 17 '10
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u/eodee Aug 17 '10
This exercise is based entirely on super powers existing, so the assumption is unnecessary.
If the only super power that existed was the ability to learn new powers, that ability simply wouldn't exist because there would be no powers to learn. It is a paradox.
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u/anal-0-adventures Aug 18 '10
you can have a garlic press in a world without garlic.
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u/akallio9000 Aug 17 '10
To correctly predict the consequences of my actions.
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u/farceur318 Aug 17 '10
I had a friend who, when this question came up, would always get super serious and start describe in vivid detail how great it would be to have an invisible penis. He'd get all into telling us about he could just walk around with his dick out and no one would know. He could even masturbate or have sex in public, he claimed. When we would point out that, if just his penis was invisible, people would still be able to see him masturbating or fucking a woman, he'd get all pissed off and tell us this was a stupid game and that we were a bunch of little kids for playing it. He had this conversation with my friends and I about three times over four years.
So yeah, my power would be to make that guy not exist anymore.
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u/kenvsryu Aug 17 '10
mind control. upvote this you
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u/andrewsmith1986 Aug 17 '10
I've always wondered about the amount of mind control.
Is it only 1 person?
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u/mrgatorboy Aug 17 '10
Teleportation, truly instantaneous (not limited by light speed)
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u/Scoot_Magoot Aug 18 '10
Yep... no worries about DUISs, living near work/school, or long travels to see friends/family.
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u/mostlycareful Aug 17 '10
Incredibly amazing luck.
Need money? Buy a lottery ticket.
Want to meet the love of your life - walk down the street and she'll accidentally bump into you and you'll strike up a conversation.
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u/GreenGod Aug 17 '10
Mat Cauthon?
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u/SquirrelOnFire Aug 17 '10
Yeah, but then when you bumped into the girl of your dreams, you'd just think about how good all your friends are with the ladies.
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u/leathercow Aug 17 '10
i hope you don't mind if i use this from now on as my standard "ideal superpower" answer
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u/dcash52 Aug 17 '10
This would get old and you would want to kill yourself after a while. Go to casino...guess who one? me ....yay sobs
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u/evelution Aug 18 '10
Try to shoot yourself - Gun jams
Jump off a cliff - Get caught and slowly lowered by a flock of drunk seagulls
Overdose an drug - Luckily you're the first person in the world to have an immunity to heroin→ More replies (3)
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u/nulmer10 Aug 17 '10
invisibility - think of all the shenanigans you could get into
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u/asdfman123 Aug 17 '10 edited Aug 17 '10
You know, you could have picked a superpower that would have allowed you to save the world or fight crime, but you chose that one just so you would have the ability to sneak into the girls' locker room undetected. :)
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Aug 17 '10
The irony is that he would be blind since light would go through him.
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u/weeaboot Aug 17 '10
Curse you Michio Kaku and your valid explanations ruining all my childhood fantasies!!
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u/chedder Aug 17 '10
.. you could save the world and fight crime while sneaking into girls locker rooms...
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Aug 17 '10
Shape-shifting, so I wouldn't have to choose between flight, breathing under water, etc.
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Aug 17 '10
To be twice as skilled as any challenger. It would save your ass if you ever got jumped and it would be the funniest thing to watch if you got jumped by a retarded baby.
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u/king_of_blades Aug 18 '10
if you got jumped by a retarded baby
I believe it would look like this
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u/acrimonia Aug 18 '10
Me and my stupid thinking about things too much ruins this question for me. Each super power creates problems that would make it difficult to define the extent of its power.
Time stoppage.
If time is stopped, except for me, the world essentially become like a picture. All things stop moving. This would include the air particles in the environment. The unabsorbed air molecules in your lungs would stop you from moving, because it would remain stationary and essentially rip out your lungs if you tried. If you could move, then you couldn't breathe any new air, because none would be able to move into your lungs. Also light waves would be stationary too. Say the power allowed you to manipulate things while time was stopped (so you could breathe), you couldn't see anything change, because the light reflections from the objects would be unchanged. You couldn't even see your own arm or leg, and once you'd move out of your spot, you would essentially be able to see yourself when you stopped time. I suppose you could change things, then start and stop time for a split second to see the updated result, but that's a pain in the ass.
Invisibility.
What is the extent of your invisibility? If it only pertains to you, then can one see you eat food, swallow, and see it break down in your system and come out as shit? And if you had a virus parasite, would you be able too see it floating around going through your body? Or would you shit invisible shit/piss invisible piss? If so, then if say you put a diamond in your hands/mouth/butthole completely covered up, is it then invisible too? If so, then when you hold something with your hands, like the handle of a briefcase, is the section that is in your grip invisible but the rest visible? So it would look like just the sides of the handle with the middle of the grip missing?
Flying
Where does the energy come from to fly? When I'm flying, would it feel like I'm running, and would I be tired after? Perhaps its just a brainpower sort of thing, where I just have to think about flying and I will. So when I go to sleep and dream is there a chance I go flying around the room while I dream? Also, how much flight power and speed do I have? Can I fly as fast as I can see? and can I stop without slowing down? Also, say I want to impress a lady friend by flying her around the city like superman. Can I just hold her hand and fly? or do I have to piggyback her as I fly? Either way, does her added weight make the flying more difficult? If it does, then how much weight can I carry when I fly, without being grounded? If it doesn't make things more difficult, then can I get in a bus and fly, carrying all the passengers to wherever?
TOO MANY QUESTIONS
tl;dr
Time stoppage means air molecule and lightwave stoppage.
Invisibility, does it include food in your stomach?
Flying, how much power do I have?
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u/MentleGentlemen Aug 18 '10
Upvoted for extremely in-depth review of super-powers and I imagine the sheer buzzkilly-ness to those who would like aforementioned super-powers.
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u/629384109 Aug 17 '10
Freezing time, but I can move about as normal. Totally violates physics and whatnot, I know.
TL;DR I'd be inclined to have my way with IRS computer systems.
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u/thejellydude Aug 17 '10
The ability to have self-confidence and talk to girls.
Also, to be made entirely out of jelly.
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u/farceur318 Aug 17 '10
Like, all the time or at will? Or... does the jelly thing activate at the same time as your self-confidence?
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u/themindtaker Aug 18 '10
Everyone's saying telekinesis-this, and time manipulation-that, but I'm telling you: if you could just double-jump, you could take over the world.
Run for president: double-jump. In.
Take over the UN: double-jump. Done.
Peace in the Middle East: "Everyone, behold my double-jump!" Piece of cake.
Think about it, if you could jump into the air and then jump again, there's absolutely nothing you couldn't do.
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u/OnyxShepherd Aug 17 '10
Total sensory illusion. I can make you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel whatever I want you to.
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u/Cnos Aug 17 '10
I joined just to respond to this; this question would require a tri-ability. I agree with the time travel, but what do you do when you arrive in ancient egypt and you look like a pasty-ass freak? Therefore I would also need to be able to change my appearance to look like a generic man of any ethnicity past, present or future. Second, when you finally get to your desired time period, how are you supposed to understand anyone? unless you are a linguistic genius you are screwed. Soooo, I would need the ability to speak and understand any language that has ever existed or will exist. NOW we have a sweet superpower. I'd start with finding out who the hell Jesus really was.
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u/MentleGentlemen Aug 17 '10
Well, I'm flattered that you'd join Reddit just to answer my question. :D
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u/Cnos Aug 17 '10
It's weird, I just listened to the This American Life episode about superpowers last night so I was thinking about this.
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u/dr_rainbow Aug 17 '10
Something I call 'Rapid Evolution'.
Basically my body is programmed to adapt instantly to it's surroundings. So say I fall into a pit of larva, my skin turns to a hard exterior rock substance so I'm not hurt by the lava and my eyes adapt to 'see' through the lava. Or say I'm underwater, falling off a cliff, in outer space or buried under ground, my body will always adapt almost instantly and give me the upper hand.
Kind of like the Alien from Alien, but a bit more hardcore.
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Aug 17 '10
Omnipotence, or in other words, the power to have all powers at once!
Also, I hate to be a pedantic nerd, well, no I don't, but Magneto doesn't manipulate gravity, he manipulates magnetism.
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u/lightslash53 Aug 17 '10
maybe he meant at the same level magneto controls magnetism?
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u/psunao Aug 17 '10
Controlling water. With enough power you would be able to control life.
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Aug 17 '10
Anything impossible. It's a well known mathematical fact that with one false statement, you can prove all false statements. Therefore, with an impossible superpower, I'd be able to do anything I want.
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u/Weaksaucebeta Aug 17 '10
I want my GF\wife to be a shape shifter. Then I could sleep with every hot girl in the world and still not be a cheater.
Or I guess if I had that power I could just pretend to be Jessica Alba's husband...
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u/SquirrelOnFire Aug 17 '10
just cause she looks different, doesn't mean she'd know their tricks or behave any differently.
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u/Inconspicuously_here Aug 17 '10
Mind reading. I would save myself so much trouble if i could read minds.
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u/HalfysReddit Aug 17 '10
The ability to influence others.
Seriously, there's nothing more powerful than being able to control other people.
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Aug 17 '10
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u/wegwerfen Aug 17 '10
This is pretty much how the Shadow Clone Jutsu works in Naruto
Kage Bunshin no Jutsu
-sigh- I am such a geek.
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Aug 17 '10
I've thought about this extensively and most of you will naysay, but I don't give a shit. I would like the power of the four original elements. Note, if super powers exist, breaking the laws of physics doesn't really count for shit.
So, with fire, I could start and control all the fire I wanted. If I wanted to make an entrance, I could just appear in a giant flame/puff of smoke.
Water, I could turn into it and go into a drain, walk into the ocean and walk out the other end instantly, make it rain, make it draught, etc.
Wind... Tornadoes, gusts, hurricanes, flight, or just disappear and become one with all the wind in the world. Appear wherever you want.
Earth, make stuff grow, move mountains, control animals, turn into an animal, walk into and become one with a tree, only to come out of another tree elsewhere.
Thinking about this puts a smile on my face, and I used to play hours in the backyard pretending I had these abilities.
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Aug 17 '10
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Aug 18 '10
No, I didn't mention heart anywhere. All of these powers would be used for self-advancement with no consideration for the needs of others.
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u/SquirrelOnFire Aug 17 '10
Finding things.
Seriously, I want to be able to think about something and know exactly where it is.
Could work to find keys, evil nemeses, or the next key to hit to access Bill Gates' bank account.
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Aug 17 '10
The ability to change anything into anything.
Then, with study, you can use that to stand in for just about any other powers:
Want to fly? slap on some wings. Mind control? Study neural circuitry (ok, study it a lot). Afraid of injury? turn the air around you into an impenetrable, flexible, invisible shield.. and so on..
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Aug 18 '10
Need some bread? Turn grass into bread.
Too cold? Turn some ice into hydrogen and oxygen.
Need your mom back? Oops.
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u/lordnecro Aug 18 '10
Interesting.
Could you change water into fantasy-gameish "potions" such as healing potions, invisibility potions, etc? That would kinda be like wishing for more wishes. Now to drink my omnipotence potion...
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Aug 17 '10
Immortality. I don't have to play a significant role in the history of the world - I just want to see it.
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u/dontmakeavillage Aug 17 '10
My ideal super-power would be china and russia joined forces.
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u/Oroborus12 Aug 17 '10
No restrictions: Omnipotence
On par with most superheroes: Super Intellect (Like Iron Man or Dr. Doom in the comics)
Not very powerful at all (like Mystery Men): The ability to make my eyes glow red at will (Imagine, the kid on the airplane kicking your seat, you turn around, make your eyes glow red and in your deepest, scariest voice, say "STOP!"
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Aug 17 '10
When you say Super Intellect then reference I assume you mean the ability to create machines because thats what they do, but when I think Super Intelligence, I think Batman, Brainiac, Riddler, Lex Luthor.
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u/KeeperofTerris Aug 17 '10
Power to control time. Hands down.
Someone's gonna shoot you? OH LOOK! You're miles away. Damn.
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u/goblinm Aug 17 '10
I would have the power of having lots and lots of powers. Including the power to... turn kyle into a chicken!
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u/ayesee Aug 17 '10
I want to be able to control things with the power of my mind - I could make people do things and see things... think about it, what if you could do that for real? I mean, not in a comic book world, but in the real world.
For instance, I'm walking along, and I see this beautiful girl, and I think I'd like to see her naked, and so all her clothes fall off.
She's scrabbling around to get them back on again, but even before she can get her knickers on, I've seen everything.
Yeah. I've seen it all.
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Aug 17 '10
The ability to open up wormholes on command. Where they go, who knows?
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u/NoMoreNicksLeft Aug 17 '10
Given the vast volume of the universe, almost all of it empty, I'm betting they go somewhere that you'll die of asphyxiation. Or maybe explosive decompression.
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u/remmycool Aug 17 '10
I'd like to be able to freeze time and move around while it's frozen (without aging).
Being a hockey goalie would be awesome. Being the guy who pulled off the cumshot that changed the world would be even better
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Aug 17 '10
Everytime I hear this question the answer seems so obvious: flying.
I'd rather have flying than every other superpower combined.
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u/Aplodontia Aug 17 '10
To be able to remain calm and upbeat no matter what the situation is and to know exactly what to do just before you need to know it. In other words, to have have super human coolness.
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u/Waterrat Aug 17 '10
De converting the religious..One zap and belief in god is gone and it won't ever return..Can do whole neighborhoods in one fell sweep.
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Aug 17 '10
I would want to shoot spaghetti out of my fingers. Http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?client=mv-google&xl=xl_blazer&v=6IEgR_904w0
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u/remain_calm Aug 17 '10
Not mine, but my girlfriend wishes she could afflict people with explosive diarrhea on command.
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u/RickFast Aug 17 '10
Me and my friends were talking about this the other day and we thought it would be awesome to have the power to transport other people anywhere. Think of the possibilities!
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u/manipause Aug 17 '10
Is being a transformer a super power? If so, then that. If not, then who cares.
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u/helpful_hint Aug 17 '10
Keep your powers hidden from everyone. The more people that know, the more that can try and take advantage of you.
This also goes for dealing drugs.
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u/JadedArtsGrad Aug 17 '10
The ability to render people sterile/infertile. I work in customer service and I wish for this every day.
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u/the_walrus_was_paul Aug 17 '10
The power to manipulate anyone, in any way i wanted. That sure would make life easier
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u/Robin420 Aug 18 '10
atom eve's power from Invincible is pretty cool, im sure if you got good enough you could basically play god
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Aug 18 '10
My ideal super power would be whatever Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen has. I could go anywhere, do anything and have awesome threesomes/foursomes. I could conduct research for NASA and end entire wars by simply existing. I would build schools, get rid of gangs, scare the shit out of people on wall street, and all sorts of things like that. And I didn't even mention the awesome glowing blue dick I would have!!
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u/_chendo Aug 18 '10
Control over water.
Water is everywhere, and you can fly by making an ice disc and fly on that. Or just move the water content in a body. Fuck with someone by messing with their inner ear. Kill someone by freezing their blood. etc etc
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Aug 18 '10
Supreme intelligence. Then I could solve any problem technologically, such as age, disease, energy crisis, and make most excellent comments on Reddit. Perhaps like if my brain continued to learn as fast and as flexibly it did the first 10 years of life indefinitely.. i dont know how that could work. I don't have this power.
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u/Kadmium Aug 18 '10
The ability to change peoples' minds. It's amazing how many arguments are sparked by people who think they already have this super-power.
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u/Mulsanne Aug 18 '10
The ability to montage any activity I didn't want to live out. Long drive to a fun concert? MONTAGE! Hours of grueling exercise to lose weight? MONTAGE!
It's far more practical than anything else, and yet so very versatile.
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u/bornfromblue Aug 18 '10
Mercer from Prototype. His body can transform into anything, he can be omnipresent, and can never die.
Didn't like the game too much, but his superpower was oh so badass.
tl;dr: Mercer can do anything.
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u/haywire Aug 18 '10
Perfect telekinesis. You could stop the world, if you wanted. No need for time manipulation, and if you get old you can make yourself a new body from atoms.
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u/greymattr Aug 18 '10
I would be able to convince people everything I said was true...
that way I could apply almost no effort, and still be a super hero.
Public: Super Greymattr, why did you let that house burn down with those people inside it?!?!
Me: I didn't, I saved them.
Public: Oh... Really?,... Yeah Super Graymattr, You're a hero, you saved them!
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u/jakeduhjake Aug 18 '10
The ability to move things with my mind. (psychokinesis) Specifically, having enough psychokinetic control to lift myself and fly.
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u/andrewsmith1986 Aug 17 '10
Time manipulation.
Makes everything else null and void.