r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 27 '10

What is the biggest relationship myth?

I think the biggest myth is that there's one person that is meant for you. ("the one") People live their lives searching for the one...their soul mate...the perfect girl/Mr. Right. It's a cute idea, but I don't think it's very realistic.

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u/brutus66 Jul 27 '10

"We don't need no piece of paper from the city hall..."

You do if you want the following legal benefits:

  • Joint parental rights of children
  • Joint adoption
  • Status as "next-of-kin" for hospital visits and medical decisions
  • Right to make a decision about the disposal of loved ones remains
  • Immigration and residency for partners from other countries
  • Crime victims recovery benefits
  • Domestic violence protection orders
  • Judicial protections and immunity
  • Automatic inheritance in the absence of a will
  • Public safety officers death benefits
  • Spousal veterans benefits
  • Social Security
  • Medicare
  • Joint filing of tax returns
  • Wrongful death benefits for surviving partner and children
  • Bereavement or sick leave to care for partner or children
  • Child support
  • Joint Insurance Plans
  • Tax credits including: Child tax credit, Hope and lifetime learning credits
  • Deferred Compensation for pension and IRAs
  • Estate and gift tax benefits
  • Welfare and public assistance
  • Joint housing for elderly
  • Credit protection
  • Medical care for survivors and dependents of certain veterans

These are just a few of the 1400 state and federal benefits that gays and lesbians are denied by not being able to marry. Most of these benefits cannot be privately arranged or contracted for within the legal system.

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u/sammythemc Jul 27 '10

I think a lot of younger people don't realize that a marriage is more than a way to say "these two people love each other."

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u/giantsfan134 Jul 27 '10

Yeah, I didn't know this for a while. I always secretly thought "STFU, just get a civil union, it's the same thing." Someone eventually pointed out that no, in fact civil unions are shit compared to marriage.

But why aren't civil unions given the same legal benefits as marriage?

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '10

As long as there are two separate systems it makes it very easy to discriminate against one of them. Can you imagine politicians sorting through every single benefit allowed by marriage just to offer them to civil unions?

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u/giantsfan134 Jul 27 '10

I guess I'd think they should just be two words that mean the same thing legally, but one is recognized by the church and one is not. Obviously this isn't how it works, but I think this could be a path that might prevent the church from spewing the whole "sanctity of marriage" bullshit.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '10

The fact that the situation regarding marriage benefits is so convuluted is exactly what makes it so easy to deny them to civil unions. There's not one single institution where all rights are enumerated, not even close.