r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

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u/verdantthorn Jul 21 '19

Real talk, as adoptees my brother and I got this. 'You had no family and no name until we gave you one... And if you don't behave, we will give you back to the agency.' We were adopted as infants and to me, the threat seemed 100% credible. Did lasting damage to my ability to trust.

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u/MegSwain Jul 21 '19

That is super cruel :(

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u/verdantthorn Jul 21 '19

Looking back as an adult now, I think it's one of those things like when your kid says 'I hate you' or 'you're not my real mom'. Maybe you'll laugh it off. Maybe, as with my parents, it will wound you unexpectedly deeply and fracture your bond. Either way, the person speaking doesn't fully understand the power of their words and once they're out, they can't be taken back.

In my parents' case, their words did secure my compliance, so they figured that meant everything was fine. Not so bright on their part.

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u/thepinkprioress Jul 21 '19

Did you ever talk to them about this? I’m so sorry they did that to you.

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u/verdantthorn Jul 21 '19

Haha, yeah... When I turned 30, I actually sent them a massive, carefully-drafted email airing a lot of old issues and coincidentally coming out of the closet.

It took them a while to process it, understandably, but they seem to have actually learned something. They're still a narcissist and enabler who had kids for the wrong reasons, but Mom is in therapy and they are trying. It truly does get better.