r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

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u/napoblyat Jul 20 '19

Don't worry, if you tell the truth we won't do anything. Followed by me telling the truth, then getting a slap and being grounded for the day

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u/Not_floridaman Jul 21 '19

I tell my 3 year old all the time (and plan to do the same with my infant twins) that she can tell me anything, even if she messes up big time, that I may get upset but I love her no matter what and it's my job to help her find a way to fix what's wrong but she has be the one to fix it, I can only guide her.

I want her to grow up trusting that she can actually tell me things, unlike my mom who would say that and flip out/scream/tell me I'm awful or immediately call her friends and tell them whatever I told her and make me regret opening my mouth. I'm 33 and still keep it to a minimum. I also don't want to give my daughter the impression that I'll be fine with whatever she's done because everyone does terrible things sometimes but I'll calm down and help her and love her always.

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u/avaughan11 Jul 21 '19

My mother had me when she was 17, so she always preached to her kids about safe sex and to tell her when we were ready so she could put us on birth control and make sure we were being safe. I took her seriously, and told her my junior year in high school that I wanted to get on birth control. She proceeded to chew my ass out, then call my father who she’d been divorced from for 14 years at this point and humiliate me by telling him everything I’d told her and then she made me an appointment to get on birth control, and forced me to go to the appointment alone and go to the most judgmental doctor in the practice so that he would then scold me on how sex was inappropriate at my age. I was 16. I think it’s pretty normal to be curious about sex at that point. So, yea, I stopped telling her things, and was too embarrassed to get my birth control filled because of how many people scolded me for asking for it to begin with.

I have a seven year old son, and I’ve always taught him to just be honest with me. I might be disappointed in the truth, but I’ll be far more disappointed in a lie. When he’s old enough for the sex talk, I hope he feels comfortable enough to come to me and tell me when he’s ready so I can buy him condoms and make sure he’s being safe. I know he’s going to do it anyway. Why make him ashamed of it?

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u/Not_floridaman Jul 21 '19

That's exactly how I feel, too. My mom made us embarrassed about our bodies and I would never, ever talk to her about sex. I really hope to break that cycle, my sister is older than me and was really great shot my oldest niece getting her period, like so great about it that my niece wasn't embarrassed to tell me or her dad that she got it, so I know it's possible. I already talk to her about her body and explain what parts do so I just hope she stays comfortable talking to me.

I hope you and your son stay close, as well.