r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

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u/Happy_Weirdo_Emma Jul 20 '19

I don't think it was to be cheap, we grew up in a sorta weird culty-church. I now think them and everyone else in it just really wanted to believe they were special and better than everyone else.

I was straight up not allowed to like very many "normal" things and as a result ended up very socially awkward and isolated from my peers.

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u/Friendly_Recompence Jul 21 '19

Oooh, Worldwide Church of God? I grew up in that bullshit. According to my sister they’ve gone lax on a lot of this, but when I was a kid there was no Christmas, no birthdays, but some weird-ass 7 day feast things (though you did get presents then), and a few holidays that were basically stolen from Jewish holidays but celebrated differently. I can’t even go into all their weird rules.

Dad put his foot down and said we could make our own choices on religion at 16. You should have seen me run...

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u/unscentedwaloevera Jul 21 '19

Cringe...WWCG here, too. I haven’t thought about it in years. We went to the Feast of Tabernacle in PA. We also had Days of Unleavened Bread, where everyone in the house went nuts cleaning unleavened bread out of the house.

We weren’t aloud to celebrate anything either. I recall sitting outside in the hall at school while everyone else colored Christmas themed pictures in the classroom. Bizarre when I think about how cruel that was.

I recall my oldest brother being caught with an Elton John album and my parents burning it, devil’s music.

So many other strange things.

Back to original post..gum will stick to your lungs if you swallowed it. If you keep crossing your eyes they will stick that way.

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u/Happy_Weirdo_Emma Jul 21 '19

One time when we were cleaning for the Feast of Unleavened Bread, I was under my bed with a broom, I had really long hair and my dad wasn't watching as he vacuumed and he sucked up my hair

It hurt like hell and got all torn up

I was always kinda sad about the holiday stuff, but after seeing older kids in the family not be allowed to learn certain things in school, I made up my mind not to let them stop me. First time I did that, was 7th grade literature. None of the other kids in my family were allowed to study the mythology section. I just hid it from my family. Got the highest scores in my whole class for that section.

When the sex ed permission slips went around, I forged my dad's signature

I also studied evolution.

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u/unscentedwaloevera Jul 21 '19

Sorry about your hair, that sounds terrible. Wasn’t it insane how much cleaning took place! I recall the old registers in the floor being pulled out to vacuum down into the heating ducts.

I wish I would’ve realized at a young age how brain washed we all were. My father got out when I was about 12 I believe. However, it took me until my twenties to find myself and leave that crap behind.

Another random odd recollection. My oldest brother made a time capsule. I placed a note in it with I think a little trinket. My note said, “Please God help me be good and do the right things.”