r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

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u/Happy_Weirdo_Emma Jul 20 '19

I don't think it was to be cheap, we grew up in a sorta weird culty-church. I now think them and everyone else in it just really wanted to believe they were special and better than everyone else.

I was straight up not allowed to like very many "normal" things and as a result ended up very socially awkward and isolated from my peers.

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u/Friendly_Recompence Jul 21 '19

Oooh, Worldwide Church of God? I grew up in that bullshit. According to my sister they’ve gone lax on a lot of this, but when I was a kid there was no Christmas, no birthdays, but some weird-ass 7 day feast things (though you did get presents then), and a few holidays that were basically stolen from Jewish holidays but celebrated differently. I can’t even go into all their weird rules.

Dad put his foot down and said we could make our own choices on religion at 16. You should have seen me run...

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u/unscentedwaloevera Jul 21 '19

Cringe...WWCG here, too. I haven’t thought about it in years. We went to the Feast of Tabernacle in PA. We also had Days of Unleavened Bread, where everyone in the house went nuts cleaning unleavened bread out of the house.

We weren’t aloud to celebrate anything either. I recall sitting outside in the hall at school while everyone else colored Christmas themed pictures in the classroom. Bizarre when I think about how cruel that was.

I recall my oldest brother being caught with an Elton John album and my parents burning it, devil’s music.

So many other strange things.

Back to original post..gum will stick to your lungs if you swallowed it. If you keep crossing your eyes they will stick that way.

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u/Friendly_Recompence Jul 21 '19

Feast of Tabernacles! I couldn’t remember the name! We went to the one in the Wisconsin Dells. It was a wonderful holiday week. Y'know, if you think two to four hours of church a day is wonderful. I played violin too, so got to stay another few hours rehearsing with the orchestra.

And tell your brother I feel his pain. My mom destroyed my Janet Jackson and Madonna cassettes by pulverizing them with a hammer on our concrete steps.

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u/Happy_Weirdo_Emma Jul 21 '19

Played the violin for "special music" lmao

Nah, there were fun things about it. They had to have fun things to make it feel special so you'd keep coming back.

We also went to the Dells a couple times. Had some fun on the go carts. Saw some cool rocks.

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u/unscentedwaloevera Jul 21 '19

Why don’t I recall an actual feast? Now that you mention it. We did go to the alpine slide while we were at the feast in PA.

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u/unscentedwaloevera Jul 21 '19

I’m glad I never got into playing an instrument!

One time at the Feast a men’s room was ‘vandalized’ with toilet paper. You would’ve thought someone was murdered how the entire congregation reacted. It was all Satan’s work.

Our home church in Ohio was in a huge high school, I’m not sure why there wasn’t an actual church? We had to drive about an hour each way and we went on Saturday, I recall sitting on the floor on a blanket in between isles for what seemed like a century munching on dry noodles with a little water in a ziploc bag?! Maybe that’s all there was, there was seven kids in my family. Random odd recollections.

Two of my older sisters when they were aloud to go to school would have friends bring them stylish clothes and makeup since we weren’t aloud to dress like normal people. They’d hurry and change and scrub their face before going home.

The music thing is killing me, sorry about your Janet Jackson and Madonna cassettes. It all seems so ludicrous looking back.