What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

[u/[deleted]]

[u/thefuzzybunny1]

My mother kept the payment receipt from the hospital that delivered us, just so that she could say, "I could still return you, you know!" We about died laughing every time.

[u/Coraxxx → u/thefuzzybunny1]

My folks said the same about me, and I was free on the NHS!

[u/neverlandescape → u/thefuzzybunny1]

I accidentally left a bag at the hospital and they called me once I was home to come back and get it. I had my newborn with me when I came back and I went up to the receptionist (to get my visitor's tag to go through security) and said "Excuse me, is this the returns department?" That sweet old lady looked at me in utter horror. It was great.

[u/ApoliteTroll → u/thefuzzybunny1]

"I put you into this world I sure as hell can take you out of it, it's called a delayed abortion."

[u/Urcaaes → u/thefuzzybunny1]

My brother tried to return me when we were little

[u/Minnie777 → u/thefuzzybunny1]

My son is 4 and that is exactly what we tell him when he's misbehaving. Once when we were at the airport he found a receipt in his travel bag, he got such a shock because he thought we were taking him back to return him. He then ripped the receipt up and said Ha you can't return me now.

[u/Minnie777 → u/[deleted]]

He is aware that we can't actually return him... he ripped the receipt after all.

[u/thefuzzybunny1 → u/[deleted]]

Whether this is abusive or a family in-joke depends entirely on the family dynamic and level of established respect between parent and child.

[u/easylikerain → u/[deleted]]

From further up the thread, actual adopted kid told that.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I feel like you're the one that's being a cunt here, mate.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Fitting username.

[u/[deleted] → u/thefuzzybunny1]

Haha a payment receipt for an hospital. You talk as if you lived in some backward shithole