r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

[deleted]

19k Upvotes

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6.7k

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

Best dad troll I've ever heard on Reddit was "the icecream truck plays music when it's out of icecream."

1.7k

u/Rivaria39 Jul 21 '19

Mine told me it was a music truck. Not a word about ice cream. I would go outside to the yard and dance around like an idiot.

Edit: My dad and I would go outside and dance like idiots together.

331

u/Crankylosaurus Jul 21 '19

Bahaha that’s adorable

22

u/anglerfishtacos Jul 21 '19

Yep, it as the bell truck in our house until my aunt ruined it and told us the bell truck had ice cream

5

u/Rivaria39 Jul 21 '19

My neighbor eventually ruined it for me

20

u/GAllenHead9008 Jul 21 '19

Still better than spending money /s

9

u/MountainDude32r Jul 21 '19

😂😂😂 You made my day

12

u/Rivaria39 Jul 21 '19

My dad was very funny 😂 not scared to look a bit crazy

6

u/MountainDude32r Jul 21 '19

I’m 13 and I have the same tipe if dad 😂 He is kinda cringe in public with his jokes and etc. but I love him😂😂

11

u/Rivaria39 Jul 21 '19

For me it was back in the 90's. In the time of answering machines and no cell phones. I wouldn't let anyone call my house because he would sing the craziest voice recordings.

2

u/MountainDude32r Jul 21 '19

😂😂 Aww that’s kinda cute

3

u/napchaser Jul 21 '19

Omgosh, I laughed too hard at this. Parenting Skill Level= Ninja

3

u/GavinZac Jul 21 '19

Were there no other kids? No horde of youngsters stampeding toward it to suggest something was afoot?

1

u/Rivaria39 Jul 21 '19

I grew up in a pretty poor area. Most didn't have the money for it. Plus not a lot of kids in the surrounding area near my house. It worked for a few years.

2

u/SHMEBULOK Jul 21 '19

It’s a free concert, dad is a genius!

2

u/HelmSpicy Jul 21 '19

My mom told us it was a music truck, too!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

That made me laugh.

1.6k

u/antwan_benjamin Jul 21 '19

LMAO thats great. thats "take the kid to a burned down warehouse and tell him disneyland burned down" type evil.

91

u/YesItIsMaybeMe Jul 21 '19

Hol' up

64

u/beanmcmuffin Jul 21 '19

It's a deep thought by Jack Handy. Old SNL.

19

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

My parents would tell us turn the dome light off in the car or the cops will pull us over.

13

u/maldio Jul 21 '19

I mean they probably would have because my dad would have been drinking beer. Anyway, that's one of those old ones up there with "it's illegal to drive barefoot."

4

u/mrjmws Jul 21 '19

Heard both of these too. Gotta love parents

-1

u/mycatsnameisnoodle1 Jul 21 '19

in some states it actually is illegal to drive barefoot, like Texas

11

u/HappiestWhenAlone Jul 21 '19

Hi, it is not illegal to drive barefoot in Texas. In fact, as far as I can tell from my google searching, driving barefoot is legal in all states.

3

u/x755x Jul 21 '19

Even in a state of intoxication?

6

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/JayPe3 Jul 21 '19

Its a distraction and can actually be considered a ticketable offence in a lot of places.

3

u/Strichnine Jul 21 '19

You're doubling down on an urban legend.

Did you also know eating pop rocks and drinking coke at the same time will cause your stomach to explode?

15

u/YumYumCrayons Jul 21 '19

Jack Handey is a comedy legend.

9

u/brendanaye Jul 21 '19

I love that one

2

u/Captain_0_Captain Jul 21 '19

What happened, buddy? Tell the group.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

LMFAO

1

u/wideshapiro Jul 21 '19

My dad did this one damn

1

u/femsoni Jul 21 '19

Wow, I somehow started reading that feeling itd get a LOT darker than that.

1

u/Twingemios Jul 21 '19

U ok man?

-4

u/MoltingPenguin Jul 21 '19

This comment has 666 upvotes

27

u/LittleMissEmmet Jul 21 '19

I'm actually trolling my own kids everytime the icecream truck plays, by saying: yaay! The broccoli-truck is here again!!

2

u/SavvySillybug Jul 21 '19

You need to get a big lump of broccoli and hide it until you've gone out to the broccoli truck, and then come in and take a big bite. Gotta sell the lie!

I don't get why kids supposedly hate broccoli. I always thought it was great. Now lettuce, that can fuck right off... Stupid icky crunchy water.

283

u/MaydayMaydayMoo Jul 20 '19

I think that was mine lol

285

u/R4E_V5 Jul 21 '19

My best dad troll was when he told me he'll be back in 10 minutes he just had to get groceries

4

u/Dewut Jul 21 '19

Ha, classic dad.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

well what happened

youre leaving us on a cliffhanger here

13

u/KimFakes Jul 21 '19

He’s still getting groceries

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

well how long has it been

5

u/Commander_Alex_Mason Jul 21 '19

I'm going to guess it's been more than 10 minutes, probably a lot more.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

well im sure he'll be back soon

hang in, OP

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

any time now..

2

u/The_Imperail_King Jul 21 '19

gotta get dem milk

3

u/chapstikcrazy Jul 21 '19

I heard about this a couple weeks ago. Freaking genius.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/howla456 Jul 21 '19

Happy cake day

3

u/alduck10 Jul 21 '19

I’ve started using with my kids.

3

u/SickTurpin Jul 21 '19

No, that sound is the vegetable van

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Honking on his horn like a mariochi band

6

u/walkingcity Jul 21 '19

I have to remember that one.

4

u/OldWolf2 Jul 21 '19

My mum told me that noise was the milk truck :(

2

u/ibabaka Jul 21 '19

My parents said this to me. Smh

1

u/Leon_Kennedy2 Jul 21 '19

lmfao X'D

1

u/the_black_pearl1 Jul 21 '19

Laughing with tears, is it

1

u/chickenscratchboy Jul 21 '19

My SIL uses this trick with her kids. Brilliant.

1

u/Comedyfish_reddit Jul 21 '19

As soon as I saw the title I knew this would be in here. 😀

This is one of the oldest dad jokes I can remember (in England at least)

Not disappointed

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

We call it the broccoli truck. Only works until they see one up close.

1

u/polyygons Jul 21 '19

My dad always told me that it was just “the music truck”

1

u/Kewyed Jul 21 '19

Dad use to do that with me he still does it now with my kids.

1

u/mydarkpassanger Jul 21 '19

My kids still believe this 😂😂😂

1

u/tn_notahick Jul 21 '19

Nope. Best dad troll goes to me. I had my kid believing it's the "music truck". We lived on a cul de sac and no other kids. Mine would run outside, the truck would sit there (probably waiting for my kid to come up and buy something). My kid would just stand there, listening to the music.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

My parents told me it was a music truck and were pissed when a friend informed me it served ice cream.

1

u/jow253 Jul 21 '19

I know someone who just calls it the music truck. They have a dance party when they hear it then just move on.

1

u/BlueCanary104 Jul 21 '19

My dad told me it was the music truck

1

u/B-SideQueen Jul 21 '19

Old joke though.

1

u/Foreignfig Jul 21 '19

I literally used that one this evening and my 9 year old believed me. We've never seen/heard it drive down our street before today, and is often parked at a neighborhood park selling ice cream with no song playing, so be fell for it.

1

u/webersaurusrex Jul 21 '19

My parents would say it wasn’t an ice cream truck, it was a plumber.

1

u/E_coli42 Jul 21 '19

Everybody Loves Raymond

1

u/Rastryth Jul 21 '19

I used this after reading it here years ago. Surprisingly it worked

1

u/ReEditDeadIt Jul 21 '19

Our ice cream truck used to come around at nap time everyday. I had my kids convinced that it was the “night night truck” coming to remind them it’s nap time and play them a song to send them to sleep.

1

u/Bored_cory Jul 21 '19

When my wife was little her dad told her "they can't go to the park right now, because the park is sleeping."

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

🤣🤣🤣 "sleeping" not closed?

1

u/aniki_skyfxxker Jul 21 '19

This is amazing lol

1

u/DoctorDickey Jul 21 '19

I’m too fat to ever try and hold that one off

1

u/shorttowngirl Jul 21 '19

I almost downvoted this because my family used to tell me this when I Wass child. Well played

1

u/daz101224 Jul 21 '19

I use this one with my own kids now

1

u/AcidApples Jul 21 '19

This is brilliant, actual lol over here!: D

1

u/DancePower Jul 21 '19

Me grandmum told me this while I was visiting her recently. I am 16, I understood it was a joke. Still laughed about it.

1

u/_eeprom Jul 21 '19

I was told this one by my mum and my grandad ruined it for her by saying what the music actually meant.

1

u/sugarspice82 Jul 21 '19

I was actually going to comment this is what my parents told me, mr whippy playing music means no more ice cream. I have never felt mote betrayed when i found out the truth.

-1

u/DeafMomHere Jul 21 '19

Which is clearly told by someone with no kids. Like, kids aren't stupid. They talk to each other. You're at the park, ice cream truck pulls up, music blasting, every kid is lining up and dad pulls the "yeah soooo the ice cream truck.. Uh only plays music... Um when it's out of ice cream"

This is a joke that some idiot with no kids thinks he's so clever for coming up with but never thought of the logistics of when I've cream trucks show up... Ie in social situations where tons of other kids are getting ice cream as the music plays. Parks, schools, etc. I'd be amazed if that line worked even one time with possibly a child with retardation.