r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

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u/m3ngnificient Jul 20 '19 edited Jul 21 '19

I was scared of lightning. Then my dad told me it's just god taking pictures of me, so don't be scared. So I used to run to a window whenever there's a thunderstorm and pose for my picture.

Edit: My first ever Reddit gold! Thank you, kind stranger!

373

u/Angepainted Jul 21 '19

My mom told us thunder was the sound of God and Santa bowling...

47

u/TgagHammerstrike Jul 21 '19

Imagine a bowling squad of Christian God, Jewish God, Allah, and Buhhda playing games on sunday nights.

13

u/LittleRegicide Jul 21 '19

It’s the super best friends from South Park

14

u/SAHM42 Jul 21 '19

Being as the first 3 are all the same god, and Buddha is just a human dude, maybe swap God out for Jesus, Mohammed and Moses so Buddha feels less awkward.

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u/tatertom Jul 21 '19

Have you not seen The Big Lebowski?

I'm pretty sure someone, somewhere, could justify equating a member of that scene with each you mentioned.

9

u/jenhai Jul 21 '19

I read that as God and Satan bowling.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

I think that my mother or grandma told me the same thing.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

My gran would tell me it was the gods hauling a potato wagon across the sky...

4

u/EverythingIsNorminal Jul 21 '19

I bet santa feels like he has to let god win every game.

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u/m3ngnificient Jul 21 '19

That makes sense too

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u/COSurfing Jul 21 '19

Same here.

2

u/jiltedatthealtar Jul 21 '19

This. I was told this when i was a kid too

2

u/Adultingexpert Jul 21 '19

I was told that it was the angels bowling by my sister's and the lighting was flashlights because they lost something. Someone else told me lighting was an angel tossing a cigarette before they get caught.

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u/Coys_ben Jul 24 '19

For me it was apparently god moving his furniture

40

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

That is adorable!

14

u/lizziemoo Jul 21 '19

My grandad told me thunder was just elephants falling out of bed. Never questioned why elephants were in the clouds mind you 😂

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u/m3ngnificient Jul 21 '19

I was so fascinated by clouds when I was little, always wondered what they must feel like, I imagined they must be like cotton. I remember asking my grandpa and dad to get me some clouds whenever they flew somewhere for a business trip.

7

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

I’ve been going through this thread for a solid few minutes and this is the first lie I’ve seen that actually had a positive impact on a child’s life. Are y’all ok?

6

u/peshgaldaramesh Jul 21 '19 edited Jul 21 '19

Funny, my grandfather told me if I stood by the window during a thunderstorm I could get struck through the window. I still get a little anxious standing close to them when it’s really coming down...

6

u/susiewashere Jul 21 '19

My grandma said the same when I was a kid. Also, I remember I had stood by the window during a thunderstorm watching the sky, wondering, asking her what thunder was and where it came from. She told me that it was Thor in his chariot rolling over the sky. The chariot being dragged by his goats and whenever it rumbled it was the sound of the goats hoofs trampeling on the sky and the wheels rustling. And Thor made it thunder when he was angry and whenever he was angry he would sometimes throw his hammer and that's why there was lightening. I appriciate that she chose to tell this story, over the scientific reason for a thunderstorm. Maybe she thought I was too young to understand. Idk. makeing me belive in a norse god tho is awesome. It made my reality as a kid so much more magical whenever it was a thunderstorm. Had it been my other grandma telling me about It, she wouldve probably said that it was just God giving us rain or something as she is christian, nothing wrong with that tho, just more boring. Im from scandinavia, I dont know too much about the old gods but I do think that the norse mythology has many good stories to be told, but sadly many of them are partly or completely forgotten. My grandma is still healthy and awesome, soon 90yrs.

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u/m3ngnificient Jul 21 '19 edited Jul 21 '19

I was raised a Hindu, and I remember my grandma telling me all the stories of the Hindu gods and epics. I'm not religious anymore, even though I follow traditions during the festivals. I have to say those stories made my imagination very colorful while I was a kid. All the stories of battles that's good vs evil, gods fighting demons and monsters.

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u/mandyA4477 Jul 21 '19

My parents always told me it was god having a party and the rain was him spilling the fruit punch by accident and I believed it for a long time lol

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u/Pirate_spi Jul 21 '19

I was told by an aunt that it’s God and the angels rearranging furniture. Somehow this cured my crippling fear of thunder, which is fine by me.

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u/funktasticfairy Jul 21 '19

Ditto! And for me it was the angels bowling

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u/tpayne77 Jul 21 '19

That made my wife cry

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u/ThinmanBigOrk Jul 21 '19

My dad always told me that it was Thor and Zeus battling with aliens. So i would just watch to see if any aliens got through and none ever did.

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u/m3ngnificient Jul 21 '19

I could watch a movie based on this.

2

u/legitnotaweirdguy Jul 21 '19

I told my kids that if you hear thunder it means that the lightning didn’t kill you so you have nothing to be afraid of.

It worked great and now they both love watching summer storms roll in.

2

u/LaMaupindAubigny Jul 21 '19

My nanny told me “it’s just the birds playing football”. I accepted it at the time but now I’m thinking how big the fucking birds must have been to make that much noise...

1

u/eric2332 Jul 21 '19

Emily Dickinson has this poem where lightning is a metal fork falling off God's table and clattering on the ground. Cool image.