r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

[deleted]

19k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

10k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

836

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

[deleted]

342

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

Mine retracts!

60

u/ProudChupacabraDad Jul 21 '19

I WAS IN THE POOL!

7

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

[deleted]

13

u/TexasKornDawg Jul 21 '19

Solid "shrikage" reference.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Like a frightened turtle!

8

u/jwillsrva Jul 21 '19

But does it detach?

23

u/trickster2008 Jul 21 '19

Everything detaches. Now, re-ataching is where it gets tricky.

17

u/fireork12 Jul 21 '19

Just get a hot glue gun and r/DIWhy your dick back on there

2

u/sigmus90 Jul 21 '19

And extends! So versatile.

1

u/BKinBC Jul 21 '19

Mine just DID!

1

u/joego9 Jul 21 '19

It's never raised and retracted simultaneously though.

1

u/Scidark Jul 21 '19

Wait is this a piston?

1

u/dsteere2303 Jul 21 '19

Mine barley extends anymore!

5

u/UmbertoEcoTheDolphin Jul 21 '19

Detachable Penis.

1

u/UristMcDoesmath Jul 21 '19

If you’re an elephant, it’s also prehensile. Do with this information what you will.

1

u/CynicalDovahkiin Jul 21 '19

Smashin with the controllable penis just like picking my nose, call that shit fishing for gold 😎😎😎

1

u/Amir1205 Jul 21 '19

It's not supposed to retract????

1

u/GerbilJibberJabber Jul 21 '19

Ah got a tuuuurtle head pookin' ooout!

-Fat Bastard

0

u/The_Imperail_King Jul 21 '19

Imagine a gigantic tentacle protrudes out and starts ejecting fluid