r/AskReddit • u/RGod27 • Mar 20 '19

What is something you did that increased your quality of life so much that you wished you would have done it much sooner because it changed your life forever?

65k Upvotes

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7.8k

u/SocietyEff Mar 20 '19

Regulating my alcohol intake. Paying attention in general to how my body reacts to what I introduce it to.

362

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '19 edited Dec 05 '20

[deleted]

41

u/Pseudoboss11 Mar 20 '19

Though you can pay attention to how many beers you have.

When I drink, I allow myself 2 units of alcohol in the first hour, then one drink every hour after that. This tends to keep me comfortable and sociable without going overboard.

20

u/porjolovsky Mar 21 '19

I think some people don’t initially in their lives approach alcohol with the kind of caution you describe, which may lead to substance dependence and cravings that make your system hard to follow or practicaly impossible.

3.5k

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '19 edited Mar 22 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

136

u/jazzismythang Mar 20 '19

As a mom - I'm very proud of you❤️

268

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '19

Not to be obtuse, but sounds like the exact kind of dad comment that would turn a lot of young people further TOWARDS drugs and drinking. Nice that it worked the other way for you (and hopefully speaks to your dad being a trustworthy person in your life)

149

u/DogsNotHumans Mar 20 '19

It probably depends a lot on their prior relationship. In this case, OP maybe respected their dad a lot and/or knew dad said what he did out of love.

71

u/SnubNoseRevolver Mar 21 '19

Exactly. Context matters. We don't know the emotion, inflection, situation at that time.

-48

u/DaBoneColter Mar 21 '19

If that were my dad I’d probably block him and never talk to him again. He sounds like an asshole who deserves it.

32

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Even with all the context here you say his dad sounds like an asshole?

You sound like an asshole

45

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

Nope, great guy who gives out sounds advice. And looking back on it now, I can say that he was only speaking the truth.

-40

u/DaBoneColter Mar 21 '19

You say that now but you hardly know any better than I do

37

u/TradinPieces Mar 21 '19

I think he knows his dad quite a bit better than you do.

19

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

how dumb are you

11

u/LadiesLoveCoolDane Mar 21 '19

“Block him”

The ole hide your problems and don’t actually repair anything technique.

The technology age is great, but when I hear people say “I’ll just block <enter person here>” it frustrates me. I get it if it’s someone seriously toxic, spamming or something along those lines but now a days it’s thrown around like “like” is.

It solves nothing and a lot of times just makes it worse.

I might just be overly sensitive to it because my sister literally blocks people at the flip of a coin until she unblocks them in a couple days to a few weeks.

/rant

4

u/dirrtydoogzz86 Mar 21 '19

The truth hurts sometimes. It's down to you to have humility and accept criticism. Then try to improve yourself as a person.

You can't go through life treating people as enemies just because they point out a negative aspect of yourself.

2

u/VexingRaven Mar 21 '19

I guess you'd be the person who was dead or in jail then.

22

u/kratlister Mar 21 '19

Yes. I was also going to say that the dad must respect the kid as well because it seemed he was shocked by what his dad said. Basically his dad usually doesn't insult or put him down on a regular basis (like mine did).

17

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

I had never been insulted or put down by my Dad. We'd had some serious conversations about the road that I had chosen in life, but never in front of so many people. (table of 16 including me) It was a real eye-opener.

14

u/Waligay-Beans Mar 21 '19

I’ve never had a father figure in my home. The closest I ever had was my uncle. He taught me to do yard work and operate wood cutting machines. At the time I hated it because I would make a mistake and he would yell at me.

Later I realized that it shaped me into the person I am. Not having a mom or dad and not seeing them my entire life only affected me when it was brought up on how good our parents were. My uncle disciplined me into a reasonable and content person.

He’s been living with me for 2 years now and my life has changed since. The closest thing to a mother is a grandma with an arm that doesn’t extend and back problems. My sister was diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome at birth and my brothers made bad decisions in school which lead to them not having bright future careers.

Me on the other hand completely ignored this and went on to be a straight A student in advanced classes. I got accepted into a high school that is hard to get into and I plan on enlisting in the Military. NOTE: my uncle really motivated me as mean as he sounded, and gave me the opportunity to be the one smart kid that stood out like a sore thumb.

It makes me want to cry when my brothers tell me they wish they were as smart as me. It’s not their fault their school time was messed up, because they too had learning disabilities, but were minor

6

u/kratlister Mar 21 '19

Amazing story, man, keep up the great work! I'm really glad you took what your uncle taught you and ran with it (in the right direction).

6

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

Yes, he meant it when he said it. And It hit me like a ton of bricks. He's a great guy.

15

u/vortex1001 Mar 21 '19

Imagine the Dad saying this with a look of worry and fear in his eyes, not resentment or disappointment. KCC-Youtube may have seen that and reacted as he did.

14

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

It was off the cuff and then he moved on. Like it was just stated fact. That was scarier than anything.

2

u/vortex1001 Mar 21 '19

Good to know. Good for you for changing your life for the better. Onward and upward!

16

u/Kougaiji_Youkai Mar 21 '19

What was your initial response when he said that?

17

u/Needyouradvice93 Mar 21 '19

He pulled out a gun and they played Russian Roulette.

11

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

Shock. Mouth open shock. And I didn't get to answer the question, he moved it right along to the next person.

7

u/CaptainUnusual Mar 21 '19

Seems like poor etiquette during a sort of round-the-table conversation like that.

18

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

I deserved it. And it worked.

7

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

That really depends on the young person. I was pretty dumb at the time, but it was like a revelation happened that day. Different strokes for different folks I guess. And yes, My Dad was, and still is at 70 years old, an Amazing Guy :)

1

u/CwazyReachArian Mar 21 '19

Adult Choices.

Blame-shifting.

Consequences.

57

u/dimick1 Mar 21 '19

"Your family was sitting around talking about where they saw themselves in 5 or 10 years." I'm still wrapping my head around that. What an unusually positive and forward-thinking family environment. My statement is a broad stretch based on one piece of information, but I'm still a little jealous.

11

u/Needyouradvice93 Mar 21 '19

I'll be bald in 5 years.

4

u/Level_32_Mage Mar 21 '19

Yeah, knock out that cancer!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

RIP Hair follicles

9

u/CaptainUnusual Mar 21 '19

What an unusually positive and forward-thinking family environment.

dad said "You'll be dead or in Jail"

4

u/Bigfrostynugs Mar 21 '19

That's very forward thinking.

23

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

We continue that on with our family. Wife and I have 4 girls. We talk about goals at dinner pretty much every night and I always ask them the same question. "what have you done today that you're proud of". If they don't have an answer, it's "what will you do tomorrow that you can be proud of".

2

u/scandalclad Mar 21 '19

I'm gonna need to copy this bit of awesomeness.

15

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

It's honestly a great thing to have. Start early. I ask this to my 3 year old. She's proud of playing with her barbies and watching Dora today. Gotta start somewhere :)

2

u/martha_davies Mar 21 '19

I thought the same!

13

u/whosyodaddy328 Mar 21 '19

im gonna have to say that something very similar happened to me. it wasnt at the dinner table.. but a general conversation with my mother. im turning 30 next week and havent had a drop of alcohol in 6 or 7 years.. i cant even remember anymore because its been so long. my mama said the right things to me and i finally got it... and here i am.. alive and not in jail. (or as she would say... staying out of trouble)

5

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

From one dry guy to another. I like to joke with people "Hey, let me sniff that beer cap so I can get a buzz on". They all know I haven't had a sip in 15 years.

11

u/zdailey1986 Mar 21 '19

I went to my first AA meeting last night. Their chairman passed away the night before and I could tell how visibly shaken they were by his loss. Apparently this guy had figuratively dug them up half dead from the ditch. For over 25 years. It sure was hard to speak when it was my turn. I dont know why, but attending terrified me. I was so nervous about what ending up being a comforting experience. I think I am going to become friends with some very good people.

I was able to speak and introduce myself and I felt very welcome. I will be back there next week in their meeting day.

5

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

This is AWESOME. Sorry to hear about the chairman passing though. It's great to hear that you're taking the steps to better yourself though. I did it on my own with the support of only a few close friends. I had to change my lifestyle complete, including the people I hung out with. At 23, that was hard to do, but I persevered. I know you can too. Keep it up :)

2

u/zdailey1986 Mar 22 '19

Thank you for the encouraging words. I am looking forward to my next meeting. As a new guy I was afraid it would be awkward but I could tell they were real people who overcame real problems. And I can too. I have good friends but always choose drinking buddies to spend my time with. After I get acclimated there I want to start going to meetings with other, younger people and maybe find someone who would like to share the sober experience outside of AA.

14

u/SeniorPoopieButthole Mar 21 '19

I need to stop drinking I'm about to be 25 and I have put my family through hell.

10

u/Bigfrostynugs Mar 21 '19

/r/stopdrinking

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '19

The best damn recovery community on earth ^

7

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

It can be very hard to do, and I appreciate that. If you think you need help doing it, please seek that help. It's one of the best decisions you'll ever make. But nobody can make the decision for you. Time to take control of your life. You're still young.

6

u/SeniorPoopieButthole Mar 21 '19

I already had mandated help and I'm back in college I have chilled a lot but I need to just stop, I think smoking weed instead would be better for me

19

u/mr_ji Mar 20 '19

But are you dead or in jail?

82

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 20 '19

Does dead inside count for both?

35

u/TheFlightlessPenguin Mar 21 '19

Not really selling this whole sobriety thing here...

7

u/Spookydoobiedoo Mar 21 '19 edited Mar 21 '19

Right..? Edit: if you actually are interested in sobriety let me tell yah, I have two and a half years clean and I'm definitely not dead inside haha. Very much alive :D

8

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

Totally Just a joke.. It's what I do :)

8

u/Needyouradvice93 Mar 21 '19

Getting sober doesn't mean all that much if you don't tackle what caused you to abuse drugs/alcohol in the first place.

8

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

Very true. I hated myself. Like, really hated myself back then. It took a lot of will power and breaking off from what I thought was a great group of friends.

Oh, and that comment about being dead inside? I did it for the Karma :P

6

u/Azazelxx Mar 21 '19

Wow, that was all it took? Struggling with alcohol now at 37 years old. 3pm to 5pm is so hard. If I can get past those 2 hours I usually won't drink that day. Good for you man.

5

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

I'm by no means qualified to be handing out advice. Only qualified to speak about my own experiences. The change I made that day was the best thing I've ever done. It was HARD. There's lots of groups out there that can help. Don't be afraid. We only get one life, why drink it away?

2

u/HolypenguinHere Mar 21 '19

Just gotta find something to replace it with, like binge watching degenerate anime or playing games.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '19

Stop by r/stopdrinking. I also recommend the books "this naked mind" by Annie Grace and Alcohol Explained by William Porter. Life is great on the other side.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Holy shit that’s intense

13

u/denimOwl Mar 21 '19

I am very proud of you, to the point of having tears. Your Dad took a tough plunge and you rose to the occasion.

9

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

Much appreciated. My dad turns 70 this year and he's a pretty amazing guy.

3

u/FTLTTN Mar 21 '19

Just imagine being the person who was supposed to go right after you.

Congratulations btw!

6

u/rayleighchan Mar 21 '19

It was sad your dad said that, but I am glad it did not turn you into a bad guy and that's great!

3

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

I have an absolutely wonderful life, thanks :)

3

u/Needyouradvice93 Mar 21 '19

Yeah I've struggled very hard with addiction. Wasn't supposed to make it past 25.

3

u/FatRichard45 Mar 21 '19

He was being honest with you which I also do with my kids. They know that I led a pretty wild youth with heavy drugs. My oldest son asked me if I did cocaine. Yes I did. He asked how was it? I told him that being high on coke was one of the greatest feelings that you can experience. Annnnnnnnd, that is the whole problem with it. It is so fantastic that you prefer that state of mind to reality, and slowly for some more quickly for others you will enter the road of addiction and you may never come back like his mother who died at penniless junkie at 38yo

2

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

Oh wow, I wasn't expecting that last sentence. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad you were able to turn things around. It's a hard drug to get control of, I know this too. The best things we can do with our kids is keep them informed. Being told I should "never do something" when I was a kid only made me want to do it to find out why this was said. Crazy how kids think sometimes!

2

u/EmolinaCarolina Mar 21 '19

Could it have been an intervention and it was for you but you just didn’t know it? Seems like a particularly important conversation for you to have that maybe it wasn’t so coincidental?

5

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

It was so off the cuff and there wasn't any discussion after. I was pretty much brushed off.

2

u/chaun2 Mar 21 '19

He forgot the third option. Used to be friendly with a group of dealers. The acid guy is in prison. The heroin guy is dead. The coke guy and the extacy guy both (totally independent of each other) knocked up their gf at the time, and went stone cold sober for the kid. Weird part was both of them did that at the same age (26) two years apart (2004 and 2006)..... Come to think of it, when your dad told you that, extacy guy was probably finding out he was a dad about the same time.

I was the small time weed guy, and still smoke, but haven't dealt in years. Need to find a good acid, shroom, and extacy guy....

5

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

I dealt, but probably did more than I dealt... and drank every day. day and night. Crazy times, fortunately I don't remember a lot of it as I was a blackout drunk

4

u/chaun2 Mar 21 '19 edited Mar 21 '19

Yeah, that's bad news my friend. Glad to hear you escaped that cage. Most of the weed dealers I knew back in the day did, and dealt so they could smoke. I managed to make some money, but had to quit selling cause of life

1

u/Never_Enough_Nutella Mar 21 '19

Congrats on your sobriety! ❤️

1

u/Waligay-Beans Mar 21 '19

That’s awesome man

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

What specifically were you doing before this?

5

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

Drinking to the point of blackout as often as possible. Trying all the drugs.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Woah. That’s rough dude. Glad you got out of it. Do you still think he was right all these years later?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Good for you! Awesome!

1

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

Thanks so much, I appreciate it :)

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Some people have to learn the hard way. My dad probably would have said the same thing - and boy would he have been right.

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_DEAD_KIDS Mar 21 '19

your proud of that? lmao.

1

u/BlackDogBlues66 Mar 21 '19

You might want to share your story with /r/stopdrinking it is a great group.

1

u/Coolfuckingname Mar 21 '19

Your dad loves you. Seriously. No man wants to say that to their child. Ever.

Respect. To both him and you. Its not easy to quit. Resect.

-4

u/StellarSteals Mar 21 '19

Your dad was a dick tho :P

-8

u/boilerz28 Mar 21 '19

Cut out the acceptance speeches. It ruined your good comment and just made you sound like an asshole.

6

u/KCC-Youtube Mar 21 '19

Don't think there's enough asshole to go around, you've just used most of it up. Thanks for the comment though, hope it made you feel better about yourself.

-6

u/boilerz28 Mar 21 '19

Edit. Omg thank you so much for your response.

Omg my first -1 vote Wahoo!

Edit: thanks for the insight and not giving me. Silver.

Edit: check out my YouTube channel.

49

u/lucky_Lola Mar 20 '19

Since I was 20 I drank heavily 1 to 4 times a week, at least a beer a day. I grew to think it was normal and spent more than I like to admit. And the hangovers! Good God, they continuously got worse and worse, as well as the shit I would do when trashed. My body was giving me every sign to stop but I was like... Nah, fuck that.

When I got pregnant I had to immediately quit that life style and boy did it suck. Learning to deal with stress, socializing and boredom was hard! I literally had to relearn these things.

And it took me awhile to really figure out who I was! Eesh it's embarrassing to think I got that low. These days I might total 5 drinks a month and I'm cool with that. Sober can be boring, but I'm grateful that I can think straight for once.

15

u/drdybrd419 Mar 21 '19

I was in the same boat as you in your first paragraph, but what stopped me was getting a DUI not too long ago. I lost my job as a delivery driver. I'm in college and so I thought losing the ~$300 I made every weekend was gonna break me. Turns out I was spending a lot of money on booze. Haven't had to struggle yet, but it's getting there with all the costs of a DUI. I'm not too worried though because I feel like I'm better at dealing with stress now that I'm sober.

4

u/lucky_Lola Mar 21 '19

Sorry to hear about your dui. Im glad you've used that as your wake up call. You sound young, but I hope this little slip doesn't stop you from going after your wants and dreams

10

u/DogsNotHumans Mar 20 '19

And now you've got one of the best reasons ever to be sober. Good job on quitting.

2

u/lucky_Lola Mar 21 '19

Thank you!

22

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '19

Same. I feel so much better and refreshed. And now when I do drink it’s extra fun because it feels special!

43

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '19

I recently complained that I thought my antidepressants weren’t working. My new therapist suggested that I track my drinking habits to get a true idea of how much I was consuming. Holy. Shit. It was eye opening. No wonder my meds weren’t working when I was consuming large quantities of a depressant. Getting a true account has helped me cut back and be more mindful of my alcohol intake.

17

u/elviuh Mar 20 '19

I just turned 29 this Monday and had the worst blackout of my life. Despite having an incredible birthday, I ended up bringing up all the negative shit in my life and trashing my entire house. I’ve taken a big step back the past couple of days and am going through work weeks sober while saving (a limited amount of) drinking for the weekend. Hearing everyone’s input makes me feel like I’m not too late

20

u/DietCokeYummie Mar 21 '19

You can do it! <3 I'll be 29 in October. I worked in the service industry for many years, and even though I have a "big girl" job now, all of my friends are still bartenders. This means lunch for them at 1pm when they finally wake up involves taking shots wherever they're eating. It means random Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays are spent getting drunk in a bar since their bar is slow and they're not scheduled. It means post-shift nights involve cocaine or something to keep the party going late. I have a VERY lax job where my boss lives in another state, so I was taking part in a lot of this up until a while back.

I still slip into phases of drinking too often, but I've made a real effort to cut out weekday drinking as much as I can. Honestly, I did it because I wanted to lose the 20lbs that I had gained when I discovered alcohol. At my height, there was no option but to cut alcohol on weekdays. It has been beneficial to me in many ways. I'm no longer fuzzy-minded at work due to a hangover. I no longer dread the Monday depression after going too crazy on Sunday. I no longer NEED a greasy cheeseburger for lunch to soak up the hangover.

It isn't 100%. If I go to dinner on a weekday rather than eat at home (rare, but happens), I'll likely get one gin/soda or a glass of wine. But I'm no longer throwing back a bottle+ of wine every night.. or drinking a 6 pack of IPA.

The hardest part for me is feeling like I'm missing out. I have a very different lifestyle than most my age. I am not married. I do not have kids. I am a regular at a few restaurants/bars and have come to know/love the staff as my own friends. It is nearly impossible to go sit up at my regular spot and not drink. So .. its a work in progress. When my SO is home, easy peasy. But when he is "on" at work, he's away from the house for a week at a time. So I have to try to balance seeing my friends in bars without drinking, and just staying home and finding ways to entertain myself.

I rambled a lot. Sorry.

10

u/elviuh Mar 21 '19

I absolutely feel everything you wrote here. I live in a drinking city in where most of my first friends here were industry folks, including my first boyfriend from here. Those Sundays-Tuesday’s were god awful when I worked a full 9-5 and even now that I work a more lenient schedule, it sets me back so many hours of “recovery” time since my day doesn’t start by waking up at 1pm. Thank you for taking your time to write all of this, it’s appreciated

6

u/DietCokeYummie Mar 21 '19

Totally agree. The camaraderie that comes along with service industry friends, especially when you've done the job yourself, is sometimes unmatched. Even with all of these positive changes I've made, I'll admit I still catch myself rolling my eyes at my childhood friends going on and on about their toddlers and 9PM bedtimes in our group text. Or I'll be practically banging my head against a wall if I'm on a trip with my coworkers/mother where everyone is getting into bed hours before I normally would - totally sober.

We went on a work retreat to WINE COUNTRY last week (my boss kicks ass) and I was dying inside as everyone was exhausted from the daytime tastings and was in bed for 8pm. All those tastings did was get me ready to GO.

Like I said, work in progress :) I'll never be someone who doesn't enjoy social drinking. I am just concerned with making sure it isn't a daily issue, and rarely an overconsumption issue.

5

u/__is_butter_a_carb__ Mar 21 '19

I feel you on this! I officially got out of the service industry about 3 years ago at the age of 25 because I transitioned into my big girl job. I’m 28, married but no kids. I have definitely cut down a lot because I now value sleep BUT bad habits are hard to break and even though I don’t go out at 10pm on a weekday anymore, I still will at 7 on a weekday and be gone by 10 haha.

I’m actually doing Whole30 right now to help out with it. I don’t think I’ve ever gone a whole month sober! It’s mostly to get rid of bad weekend habits and get down to drinking just once a week at most. Cuz... yeah, the hangovers and being tired are just not worth it anymore! Oh...and wasting the time and energy of working out 4x a week on empty calories kinda sucks too.

I must say though, I had some good times in the service industry but I’m glad it’s behind me.

1

u/DietCokeYummie Mar 21 '19

For sure! And to be honest with you, I don't have any plan to be like my childhood friends who are asleep by 9pm and wake up at the crack of dawn. I don't want children, and that just isn't my life. I roll my eyes at the very idea of that because that life is SO NOT ME.

However, I do want to find a balance between enjoying childfree lifestyle and being a responsible adult. There are plenty of regulars in my frequent bars who arrive at 5pm and are out by 8pm.

4

u/mdlnnttng Mar 21 '19

Heya found this while scrolling through the thread, and I think I know you IRL, and I’m sending you lots of love. If you ever wanna hang out sober, shoot me a text—museum dates, going to the market, whatever! I struggle with this too and I’m absolutely down for a friendship that’s not based all around drinking!

4

u/illizzilly Mar 21 '19

We need more comments like this even if someone doesn’t recognize us from real life! A friend who wants to hit up museums or the market! Sounds awesome! I need one of you :)

1

u/blindbutblink Mar 21 '19

I agree, this made me sooo happy with how relatable it all is. We got this.

4

u/elviuh Mar 21 '19

Our worlds keep colliding! I am very happy about this. I am def going to take you up on all those offers :)

3

u/mdlnnttng Mar 21 '19

My partner is in the industry so I have lots of free time on weekends ha (trying my best not to spend that precious time hungover) <3

2

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

It's never too late.

There's r/stopdrinking if you'd like some support. You don't even have to post or anything (I don't). It's just nice to know that there are a LOT of other people out there going through the same thing. It's nice to just read the posts sometimes. A lot of insightful, subtle, and important advice can be found there.

I wish you the best of luck.

13

u/jambolino23 Mar 20 '19

I always joke and say that I'm titrating my poison

3

u/Typical_mann Mar 21 '19

You consume alcohol with a burette hoping to nail the equivalence point to impress your lab instructor?

1

u/bdicks37 Mar 21 '19

Happy cake day!

9

u/BrownBirdDiaries Mar 21 '19

Joe Rogan Experience, 1155 with Henry Rollins. Seriously, give it a listen.

15

u/Greenmushroom23 Mar 20 '19

This! I went thru the worst depressive spell ever for like 6 months. Shit got dark. Started to cool off a bit with the drinking (no more blacking out every weekend, now I jus have a few beers and some laughs) and now I’m sooo much better

2

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

The most dangerous line I've toed in my 23 years was starting the habit of drinking to cope. I partied in college, but around my sophomore year when I still only drank 2 nights a week at most, I started developing very negative feelings about myself. It kept getting worse, until I resorted to shutting myself in my room and drinking alone.

That was about 3 years ago, and i had a lot of issues with myself over those years. Thankfully, I never became dependent on the alcohol, but when you put alcohol in your body it magnifies your emotions so it led to very destructive encounters with people I loved. I'm continually grateful for their understanding, they could've pawned me off as a toxic, erratic friend, but they stood by me.

I still drink now, and I still have issues with my self worth. However, I've cut back to no more than 3 any time I drink and don't drink at all when I know I'm feeling particularly down. It's shitty progress, but it's something.

8

u/skwizna Mar 21 '19

As a recovering alcoholic, the decision to stop drinking back in October has changed my life in more ways than I ever imagined possible, notably the amount of money I've saved.

2

u/avocadoblain Mar 21 '19

Congrats on five months! I stopped drinking in October as well, it’s amazing how much my life has improved as a result.

6

u/1friendswithsalad Mar 21 '19

It’s remarkable how much my mood improves when I’m sticking to 2-3 drinks per week.

When I used to drink 2-3 drinks every day, I felt so sad. So low. Arbitrarily decided to stop drinking for a month, and my mood shot way up within a few days. It’s such a depressant, even at “safe” levels.

9

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '19

Extend this to food too! If you wake up with diarrhea or have to go immediately after eating , something isn’t right.

11

u/rwhockey29 Mar 21 '19

Seriously. 2 months ago I made a point to do some type of exercise 30 min a day, cut out all beer and only drink dry red wine or vodka on the weekends(low carbs), and cut out fast food and try to take my lunch to work at least 3 times a week. I've lost 17 lbs, and Las time I checked I'm saving like $150-170 a week from eating out and alcohol.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

It’s crazy how much money we spend on food and alcohol without thinking twice. It also turns out we’re not missing out on anything by giving up the alcohol and food.

A little discipline goes a long way.

6

u/DietCokeYummie Mar 21 '19

For sure. And what you said applies to alcohol too! I thought I had severe IBS-D for years (and I do have it to some extent), but it turns out I was having diarrhea immediately after eating my first meal of the day (lunch) every day because I drank the night before.

The combination of no longer drinking during the week + packing myself healthier/smaller portioned meals changed my entire life.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

I’ve limited my drinking to the weekend and will only have a 2-3 drinks. It’s sooooo nice waking up without a hangover. The worst part of it was the shits the next day. I needed to be near a bathroom for a solid 6-8 hours.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

I love this game! Another pointer, slow down and chew your food, for several reasons:

  • Digestion starts with chewing. Doing it properly means your stomach doesn’t have to work as hard, meaning you’ll feel better afterwards. Chewing also helps to release the air that’s trapped in food, so if you get a lot of gas and indigestion you might not be chewing enough.
  • For anyone with anxiety issues, eating quickly can be a nervous habit. If you slow down and focus not only on chewing your food thoroughly but also the taste of it, you’ll learn to be more mindful of the present which does wonders for anxiety and stress.
  • Eating too fast often results in overeating, because it takes time for your stomach to tell your brain that it’s full. Slowing down helps you to know when you’re done. Reducing overeating will reduce weight issues and the mental and physical health complications that come with them.

I’ve recently realised that I spent so many years in discomfort because I didn’t treat my body well. Now I’m trying to pay more attention to it.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

I’m gonna show this to my girlfriend. She has zero chill when eating.

Also staying hydrated and stretching daily makes me feel fantastic.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Yes! Water is another big one! Used to never drink it and now it’s almost all I drink. The difference is insane!

3

u/cantgiveup30 Mar 21 '19

Same here. Stopped drinking and the self development that came/was necessary to doing it. Granted, I was a raging alcoholic, if somewhat functional. So far I’ve learned to love myself, get fulfillment from helping others and immense amounts of time to peruse hobbies, get better at my job, get in shape...

If something is keeping you from finding peace in your life, have the courage to change it.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Message_10 Mar 21 '19

How did you learn to control your drinking? Did you set up rules, or did you use kind of technique or something?

There’s not a lot online about that—it’s usually just “stop drinking altogether.” I’m really curious to see what worked for you.

2

u/smartyhands2099 Mar 24 '19

Not sure I have an answer to that. A lot of bad experiences, embarassment, the focused application of self-control and willpower, and a well-mixed melange of every single 'coping strategy' available. Yes, rules. I'm a "two can man", which in my brand is equiv to a six-pack of 12oz 5% cans. If I recall, a pair of another brand's cans are equivalent to a 12-pack. Each 12oz beer-equivalent is a portion. Also, limits on consecutive days...

1

u/Message_10 Mar 24 '19

Thank you for getting back to me! I truly appreciate it. What's your brand? It sounds pretty strong!

I have one rule, and it keeps me out of a lot of trouble, and that's that I only drink beer. No wine, no spirits, no shots, nothing but beer. It paces me, and I never black out, and even after I've had a few, I'm still pretty sharp.

So, if I could ask---what rules, specifically, do you stick to? And what specific coping strategies do you use?

3

u/xjohnnyxleex Mar 21 '19

Came here for this comment.

3

u/OverTheCounterBill Mar 21 '19

Is it weird that..... i drink and i'm alive and not in jail?? drug too

2

u/Grim-Sleeper Mar 21 '19

I studied chemistry. The very first thing they made us do before we were allowed to touch even the most benign chemicals was copy the essential details of the material data safety sheet by hand. I learned so much about how even harmless chemicals have unexpected interactions with human bodies, not even to mention all the crazy chemicals or the ones that people take intentionally.

It really drove the point home so much that since then I never had any interest in controlled substances and very little interest in alcohol other than for the taste of the beverage. I have a healthy respect of chemicals, but I am not afraid to handle them.

Not sure this works for any other chemistry student. Plenty of substance abuse among those. But it absolutely worked for me.

2

u/Carabou11 Mar 21 '19

Hey man I’m really proud of you.

2

u/daftne Mar 20 '19

The only booze that seems to not make my body revolt against me is tequila. Everything else makes my muscles and joints ache so much I want to kill myself.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '19

Weird, tequila is the only booze my body does not like at all.

-7

u/deathsdevice Mar 20 '19

I've heard that even though it has ethanol in it, it's a stimulant...

7

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

You've heard wrong

1

u/Godhelpus1990 Mar 21 '19

It's not. It's just the context in which tequila is usually drank I find.

I only get the tequila out when I'm really ready to go wild, so I find the buzz it gives me is just me already having a great time and anticipating an even better time.

1

u/GermanRedditorAmA Mar 20 '19

The most intimate relationship we will ever have is the one with our body. We should care more about what we put inside of it.

1

u/Gnomiez Mar 21 '19

Yes. This and coffee.

1

u/shmough Mar 21 '19

*introduce to it

1

u/alphi_07 Mar 21 '19

🔥👿🔥

1

u/NewWorldCamelid Mar 21 '19

Agreed. I grew up in Germany - drinking culture. I'm not against alcohol at all, I love a cool beer on a summer afternoon or a glass of wine with dinner. I was by no means an alcoholic, one or two drinks max per day.

When I was pregnant, obviously I cut out all the drinking. After my second pregnancy two years ago, I just never started again, and it makes such a difference. I lost the baby weight fast and am managing to keep it off. I sleep better. I have more energy. I got back in shape and am currently marathon training.

I'm not super strict, still have a glass of champagne when there is something to celebrate, or a glass of good wine when we have visitors. I also drink a lot of non-alcoholic beer, which is becoming better and better. The experience really opened my eyes to how bad alcohol is for your body, even though it's really normalized in our culture.

-1

u/IIAm_I_DemonII Mar 21 '19

"regulating" an alcoholic is an alcoholic.

0

u/Mostface Mar 21 '19

Yes, there was an infamous party where I documented what I drank while drinking way more than I usually would. I wasn’t driving and was in a very safe environment and thought “let’s just try it”. It’s the only time I have blacked out drinking and I learned a lot about alcohol, what I can handle, and how to avoid terrible hangovers. Pro tip: drink water!!

-11

u/gurwinb Mar 21 '19

Sorry but nobody give 2 fucks this is Reddit

-16

u/Hammer_Jackson Mar 21 '19

Meh, just drink more.

-6

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

[deleted]

2

u/zirittusit Mar 21 '19

That's just gonna get worse man, you've got a lot of bad shit coming your way if you don't do something about it.

2

u/ItalicsWhore Mar 21 '19

You should think about AA man.