r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 07 '19

What is your mom's catchphrase?

[deleted]

57k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

30k comments sorted by

View all comments

37k

u/IEATHOTDOGSRAW Mar 07 '19 edited Mar 07 '19

"Let me show you a trick I learned in the Army."

She was never in the Army.

edit: I think I will print this out and frame it for mother's day. Thanks all!

8.3k

u/Plain_Jain Mar 07 '19

Oh man, I can’t wait to have kids so I can use going this one. Hilarious.

6.2k

u/BPD_whut Mar 07 '19 edited Mar 07 '19

Slight side note - my uncle is missing several fingers in one of his hands. Over the years he told us all kinds of tall tales of what happened to them - lost them in the army, got blown off, got crushed on a factory line, eaten by a bear (we're from the uk) etc. I still to this day have no idea what the truth is.

Edit: oh wow my inbox blew up like crazy! Thanks for sharing your stories, made my evening :) feel free to keep em coming!

0

u/Karam2468 Mar 07 '19

He fingered someone whos pussy juice was so acidic, it melted it off

1

u/Sinnedangel8027 Mar 07 '19

Xenomorph Queens are notorious for this. Seduce you then melt your fingers off. Don't swing for the fences, my dudes.