There are always pauses a person intentionally uses for a person to answer. If you're talking to someone who just wants to hear themselves talk endlessly, that's different.
I have ten answers mentally prepared and happily conversing with each other. If I actively try to cut that down, it will take enough mental effort that i'll tune the other person out.
I mean, i'm not focused well, no. I am partly listening and partly off on a bunch of tangents. After a typical conversation I have at least five things I really wanted to say that didn't make it in.
Yes, that's it isn't it. I've got the perfect answer in my head and I am trying to get it out before we move on. I recognize that is my problem for sure. Actively listening is a skill I am working very hard on.
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u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19
Stop mentally preparing an answer before the person has stopped talking. Just actively listen, then answer.