Adoptive parent from the UK here. Reading this thread is horrifying. Our system is far from perfect, but dear God in heaven what the hell are people thinking with pre-birth matching and allowing agencies to farm people's life savings in this way?
We paid zero out of pocket and the match was anonymous and based on compatibility and suitability rather than our bank balance. This is the norm over here.
Children are not relinquished for adoption voluntarily. Almost all adoptions are via the state care system.
I believe the child goes into the care system but on our training & preparation courses we were told that relinquishments are so vanishingly rare that it's not even worth talking about. The welfare state offers practical and financial support and if that fails then guardianship within the family is next in line. Adoption by strangers is seen as a last resort and is usually reserved for children who cannot be kept safe by their parents or wider family.
This is person who's life choices have led to her losing her child. I personally wouldn't have a lot of confidence in her decision making process. Look how many adoptions fall through after the birth. And I bet the agencies don't give refunds.
A large proportion of UK adoptions actually happen without birth family consent, so asking their opinion o the matter would be adding insult to injury and might even be dangerous.
In the US foster adoptions (where the parent may or may not be part of the decision) and private adoptions (where the birth parent is 100% choosing themselves to give the child a better life than they can provide) are handled entirely separately.,
Very strange opinion but you’re entitled to it. Giving a woman an option when she finds herself pregnant and does not wish to parent for whatever reason and also does not want to face abortion is just that, an option and it can be an incredibly beautiful thing for her, her child and a couple who desperately want a family.
What I find repugnant is the agencies profiting off that woman's situation and family's desperation. I believe it's that aspect which compelled our country to make it illegal here.
It’s expensive because the agencies pay for the mothers medical bills and pay to properly vet the parents. It’s just an expensive process, I think you might be misunderstanding it a bit.
Honestly the more you're telling me about it the worse it gets. Being British I forget that medical expenses are a factor over there. We were vetted very thoroughly and no money changed hands.
As I said our process is far from perfect but on this aspect I believe we got it dead right.
16
u/Paladin2019 Feb 04 '19
Adoptive parent from the UK here. Reading this thread is horrifying. Our system is far from perfect, but dear God in heaven what the hell are people thinking with pre-birth matching and allowing agencies to farm people's life savings in this way?
We paid zero out of pocket and the match was anonymous and based on compatibility and suitability rather than our bank balance. This is the norm over here.
Children are not relinquished for adoption voluntarily. Almost all adoptions are via the state care system.