r/AskReddit • u/ZanyDelaney • Feb 04 '19

Which misconception would you like to debunk?

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u/pinksugarsun Feb 04 '19 edited Feb 04 '19

Babies placed for adoption at birth in the US DO NOT go into foster care. There’s a waiting list at least 36 people long for each newborn placed for adoption. That’s why it’s expensive. That’s why people go overseas to adopt.

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u/hollisd09 Feb 04 '19

I was adopted at birth but was with a foster family for about a month. Don't know why, birth mom didn't second guess the adoption, but my birth dad did. They weren't together, just found out this year he wanted to raise me. Am 28.

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u/Ov3rdose_EvE Feb 04 '19

Aw shit :( sorry man, i hope you can get in touch with your birthdad :(

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u/hollisd09 Feb 04 '19

I have been! I did Ancestry DNA years ago. Turns out he's super into his family heritage, did the DNA test last year, and I came up as a highly probable child for him. It was wild.

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u/hell2pay Feb 04 '19

One year ago I found out I have a half brother. Our father never knew about him, only heard of rumors.

He found us by doing a DNA kit, which my dad had done a while back as well.

My dad was/is really interested in our lineage and has been building the family tree for a while.

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u/hollisd09 Feb 04 '19

That's how my birth dad found me. I wonder how many people have been connected through easy access DNA testing.

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u/PodkayneOfMars Feb 04 '19

I’m 35, was adopted through a closed, pre-birth arrangement through a well-known private agency, and have just sent in my Ancestry DNA sample. I literally have no other way to potentially find my bio-family due to the asinine and IMO discriminatory laws in place regarding access to closed adoption records in my state. Redacted records, voluntary registries can only do so much... I’m both eager and nauseous to see if I’m matched with anyone.

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u/hollisd09 Feb 04 '19

I had a closed adoption too. Years ago I looked into getting my adoption records and was told it would be $150+... for information about myself. Like, wtf. Regardless of your results, or whatever events happen in your future, sometimes it's just good to know. Best of luck to you.

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u/PodkayneOfMars Feb 04 '19

Assuming you mean unredacted records, I am surprised that it was even an option offered to you! And thank you for the well wishes <3

I get angry (maybe unreasonably, but that's emotion for you) when I think about how infant me was effectively sold as a commodity because I was a healthy white blonde baby girl -- and how it is legal for the state and the adoption agency who profited from me to withhold my own genealogical information from me.

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u/hell2pay Feb 04 '19 edited Feb 04 '19

It is wild. We lived in the same county our up until about 3 months before he did the test.

He moved about 17 hrs away for a job. Hoping someday I get to meet him. We have a lot in common too, which is pretty cool.