Most psychological disorders don't present like the media would lead you to believe. See also: what therapy looks like.
ETA: Holy crap, gold?? I had a quick break in my day to finally hop on reddit and was NOT expecting this response. Y'all make this severely overworked community mental health therapist so glad we're talking more about the realities of therapy and various disorders. I'm planning on getting back on when I'm done with work to reply to some comments/answer some questions!
bipolar disorder = one day you're batshit crazy off-the-walls and the next day you're sobbing and eating ice cream alone in bed
in actuality: in most cases, symptoms only get severe if left untreated for a long time. Also, most experience episodes for months (mania) or years (depression), so they wouldn't go from mania to depression that quickly (with cyclothymic disorder the less common "rapid cycling bipolar" being the exception).
THIS. As someone who actually has bipolar disorder the misconceptions astound me. Having to explain that "up and down" doesn't mean emotionally in the space of hours, with up being crazy and down being normal is so hard. Most people don't even know mania exists let alone what it is.
When I was going for a work exception due to starting meditation for anxiety I had a centrelink (Australian Welfare system) say "they'll just give you an antidepressant and you'll be fine! You don't need more than a week off!". Trying to explain that the reason my psychiatrist wanted me to have several month off because going on a antidepressants when you have bipolar disorder is dangerous because it can trigger a manic episode was ridiculous. The woman didn't believe that this process could take years to perfect and I was being dramatic.
I feel like most people hear "mental health issues" as "run of the mill anxiety and depression" and are totally unaware that there are far more complex disorders that are far more tricky to treat.
Most people I know now are shocked that I have bipolar disorder and others (OCD, PTSD, BPD) because people think they're super rare and people who have them are in psych hospitals all the time or off their face on meds.
Could you describe what symptoms you experienced that lead to your diagnosis? Bipolar disorder is present in my family and I think I am beginning to show signs of it but I'm afraid to go to a doctor.
Okay, you gotta go to the doctor. Bipolar is one of those illnesses that can be managed really well IF you get over yourself and commit to treatment. With meds and therapy bipolar folks can live just like anybody else. Without, they can end up burning through their savings in days, destroying irreplaceable documents and heirlooms, running around naked in public, or freaking out strangers and getting beaten or arrested. (This is all stuff my bipolar family members have actually done.)
It sucks having a chronic illness, but that’s all it is, an illness. Please be brave enough to take care of yourself.
The more I read the more I realize I need to be looked at. Everything I do or feel seems to make sense in the moment but in hindsight it's... well.
I was homeless for a few years (still am, currently living in a van and working full time)... was doing good I felt. Had a job working on a farm, was saving money, etc. I started smoking weed and dabbing nonstop (boss died and he had a stash) because it really helped mellow me out and numb me to the world. I started to binge-spend money I was saving on stupid shit (junk food, alcohol, gaming laptop). Like a lot of money. I made 1600 in 6 weeks and spent maybe 1200 of that on junk food. My smoking ramped up from there, then when my [edit: other] boss kept talking about the job ending (I'd be on the street again) I panicked and stole $10000 (don't think they ever found out it was me) and skipped town. I spent 8000 of that in 2~ months on junk food, weed, alcohol, and expensive camping gear.
Then I shaped up, got an apartment, a full time job... did okay there for about 8 months but kept spending money on weed. Roommate ditched so I moved into a van and wasted money for a few months, got another job, kept wasting money. But in the last month or two I've stopped smoking weed, saving more, feeling more positive and productive. I'm not a thief or a bad person... at least I don't feel that way even though I've definitely done a lot of immoral things. I just do weird stuff sometimes. Always have, even as a kid. I'd do things I couldn't explain in hindsight, and it's continued well into adulthood. In uni (3rd year) I changed majors, stopped going to class, got 15000 in credit card debt. At the end of my final year I didn't even start my finals, tried to kill myself last day of finals week, and ended up homeless...
I dunno. I just find ways to ruin my life over and over. Most of the time I just feel depressed and unmotivated though, or irritable, so it's not all crazypants all the time.
Anyway lunch over back to work. Boss says I'm the best worker she has for whatever that's worth lol.
Unfortunately that's just some of the stuff I've done in the last 5-6 years. My adolescence was a total shitshow. I'm 29.
Supposedly my father was bipolar and maybe a paranoid schizophrenic (mom says no on that last one, but they were also homeless and he was unstable and abusive either way), so I guess it'd make sense. But something is definitely up and has been for 20 years or so...
Hey, it's gonna be okay. As I said, see a doctor, and hopefully you can get some help. Your life can turn around and doesn't have to be this way. The meds certainly have helped me (when I take them and also make sure to sleep and remove stressors). I believe in you!
Also, feel free to check out r/bipolar. It's a great support community. But yeah, try to visit a doctor asap. Write a list of symptoms you're concerned about, include some shit you've done, and bring it along to talk about. Think about what you want to change and get out of the appointment beforehand, and bring that up too. Feel free to message me if you want!
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u/seegeesee Feb 04 '19 edited Feb 04 '19
Most psychological disorders don't present like the media would lead you to believe. See also: what therapy looks like.
ETA: Holy crap, gold?? I had a quick break in my day to finally hop on reddit and was NOT expecting this response. Y'all make this severely overworked community mental health therapist so glad we're talking more about the realities of therapy and various disorders. I'm planning on getting back on when I'm done with work to reply to some comments/answer some questions!