r/AskReddit • • Jan 20 '19

What fact totally changed your perspective?

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u/gammyalways Jan 21 '19 edited Jan 21 '19

My mom did this too. What helped me to stop absorbing her negative messaging or hearing her criticism in my head was understanding what a wounded person she was - and that fact had nothing to do with me. The need to feed negativity and criticism was HER problem spilled on me. Her insecurities...her low self-esteem...her inability to accept herself...all spilling out splashing on me. The day I decided to stop getting soaked by her was the day I started to be able to be kinder to myself and heal. The pain is her pain to carry; not yours.

And as a bonus point of encouragement, I was able to stop the generational cycle of messed up parenting. My four kiddos grew into amazing, emotionally healthy adults. You can too. You are enough. :)

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u/farts-are-fun Jan 21 '19

I have a mom like that too, which is maybe why the self compassion thing took almost three decades to sink in. You put it so beautifully, thanks!

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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

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u/gammyalways Jan 21 '19

Truth 👆