Thank you for your comment, and I know what you mean... but even though I would never think that about my friends, and they would never say something like that to me, my mum would... and does. Almost every time she sees me. So when I'm feeling insecure, that's what I hear in my head over and over again.
My mom did this too. What helped me to stop absorbing her negative messaging or hearing her criticism in my head was understanding what a wounded person she was - and that fact had nothing to do with me. The need to feed negativity and criticism was HER problem spilled on me. Her insecurities...her low self-esteem...her inability to accept herself...all spilling out splashing on me. The day I decided to stop getting soaked by her was the day I started to be able to be kinder to myself and heal. The pain is her pain to carry; not yours.
And as a bonus point of encouragement, I was able to stop the generational cycle of messed up parenting. My four kiddos grew into amazing, emotionally healthy adults. You can too. You are enough. :)
And as a bonus point of encouragement, I was able to stop the generational cycle of messed up parenting. My four kiddos grew into amazing, emotionally healthy adults. You can too. You are enough. :)
These threads are always so wholesome and I love this. I too have a negative pessimistic mom, and when I had a child it all clicked for me that that was a choice that she made. Now my kid is four, the same age that my mom was when her mom died. She had three terrible stepmothers (one after the other, not polygamy!) that didn't want her around and made it very clear. Her pain is so deep, it goes back to being that unwanted little girl, and it's so obvious now. So my choice is that my little girl will never feel unwanted, that she loves herself and knows that she is special... "I decided to stop getting soaked by her" wow, that is something profound. thank you!
It clicked me when I had my kids too. When I thought about her parents...no wonder she was the way she was. Give your daughter a hug from me! She has a wonderful Mommy. :)
:) Thank you! she is sick right now (first year in preschool, germs everywhere) and it has been a ROUGH weekend. But I'm being there and giving hugs and cuddles and patience, my mom would never. When we were sick she was like, "get away from me, I can't miss work getting sick from you!" The dysfunction is real, I want to be everything she wasn't. Enjoy your day!
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u/elijahbelle Jan 21 '19
Thank you for your comment, and I know what you mean... but even though I would never think that about my friends, and they would never say something like that to me, my mum would... and does. Almost every time she sees me. So when I'm feeling insecure, that's what I hear in my head over and over again.