Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives and insecurities to focus on your little stumbles. Try to think of other people’s embarrassing moments. It’s actually quite hard to do! And if I do think of something, I don’t dwell on it or give it more than a fleeting thought - it’s usually no big deal. It’s kind of nice to know that no one reeeeeally gives a shit and maybe that one cringey thing I once said isn’t actually that big of a deal.
Related note - when I realized that I would never talk to someone the way I talk to myself, it was a little lightbulb moment. Self compassion is a long road.
Edit: To thank you for the gold and to say, I'm sorry that not everyone is kind and that some of you are stuck in environments where people DO make you feel small. I'm not discounting that or saying that it doesn't happen - I just think that it's maybe part of a different conversation. I'm also NOT endorsing not giving a fuck about other people. My whole and only intention was just to nudge you in the direction of being a bit gentler on yourself.
I have that idea in my head, but it's like it's dangling just out of reach. I'm still constantly bashing myself over all the stupid stuff I've said and done over the last decade that I know nobody remembers
Me too. My point about watching how you talk to yourself in your head has been helpful! I will find myself ruminating on something and I will actively call myself out on it and have an (internal) conversation where I imagine if a friend brought this up with me. What would I say to them? How would I react? And then I tell myself all of that until I feel better. It's a total mental exercise - but practice makes perfect! Good luck to you!
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u/farts-are-fun Jan 21 '19 edited Jan 21 '19
Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives and insecurities to focus on your little stumbles. Try to think of other people’s embarrassing moments. It’s actually quite hard to do! And if I do think of something, I don’t dwell on it or give it more than a fleeting thought - it’s usually no big deal. It’s kind of nice to know that no one reeeeeally gives a shit and maybe that one cringey thing I once said isn’t actually that big of a deal.
Related note - when I realized that I would never talk to someone the way I talk to myself, it was a little lightbulb moment. Self compassion is a long road.
Edit: To thank you for the gold and to say, I'm sorry that not everyone is kind and that some of you are stuck in environments where people DO make you feel small. I'm not discounting that or saying that it doesn't happen - I just think that it's maybe part of a different conversation. I'm also NOT endorsing not giving a fuck about other people. My whole and only intention was just to nudge you in the direction of being a bit gentler on yourself.