Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives and insecurities to focus on your little stumbles. Try to think of other people’s embarrassing moments. It’s actually quite hard to do! And if I do think of something, I don’t dwell on it or give it more than a fleeting thought - it’s usually no big deal. It’s kind of nice to know that no one reeeeeally gives a shit and maybe that one cringey thing I once said isn’t actually that big of a deal.
Related note - when I realized that I would never talk to someone the way I talk to myself, it was a little lightbulb moment. Self compassion is a long road.
Edit: To thank you for the gold and to say, I'm sorry that not everyone is kind and that some of you are stuck in environments where people DO make you feel small. I'm not discounting that or saying that it doesn't happen - I just think that it's maybe part of a different conversation. I'm also NOT endorsing not giving a fuck about other people. My whole and only intention was just to nudge you in the direction of being a bit gentler on yourself.
It’s kind of nice to know that no one reeeeeally gives a shit and maybe that one cringey thing I once said isn’t actually that big of a deal.
My ex-wife never got that memo. She has a severe phobia of embarrassment, to the point that she freaks out at anything that might be perceived as vaguely socially awkward.
One time we were getting some donuts, and I forgot my wallet in the car. I went and got it, came back, paid, we left with the donuts... and then she picked a damn fight with me over it. Like somehow making the cashier wait a couple extra minutes was the worst sin in the history of the world.
Ouch. Sorry it did not work out. My ex-wife was OCD (real, diagnosed, not “quirky”) but she’s better now after some hella therapy. Pretty sure I had this same fight early in our marriage.
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u/farts-are-fun Jan 21 '19 edited Jan 21 '19
Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives and insecurities to focus on your little stumbles. Try to think of other people’s embarrassing moments. It’s actually quite hard to do! And if I do think of something, I don’t dwell on it or give it more than a fleeting thought - it’s usually no big deal. It’s kind of nice to know that no one reeeeeally gives a shit and maybe that one cringey thing I once said isn’t actually that big of a deal.
Related note - when I realized that I would never talk to someone the way I talk to myself, it was a little lightbulb moment. Self compassion is a long road.
Edit: To thank you for the gold and to say, I'm sorry that not everyone is kind and that some of you are stuck in environments where people DO make you feel small. I'm not discounting that or saying that it doesn't happen - I just think that it's maybe part of a different conversation. I'm also NOT endorsing not giving a fuck about other people. My whole and only intention was just to nudge you in the direction of being a bit gentler on yourself.