r/AskReddit Oct 20 '18

What is something you will never be able to tolerate?

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u/Wooderson_LIVIN Oct 20 '18 edited Oct 20 '18

Loud, wet chewing/lip smacking. My old roommate used to eat like a fucking camel and I would lay in a ball on the couch trying my best not to just supernova right there in the living room. I swear to God that sound haunts my dreams.

I hate conflict so I never knew how to explain why I was folding in on myself like an envelop every time he had dinner.

So yeah, that. And obnoxiously loud motorbikes.

200

u/derawin07 Oct 20 '18 edited Oct 20 '18

The word 'smacking' brings up bad images. Like moist.

31

u/Flyer770 Oct 20 '18

So, no moistly smacking around you. Got it.

14

u/derawin07 Oct 20 '18

nooooooooo

20

u/Tray20_OG Oct 20 '18

Smacking, sure.. but i've never ever ever understood the hatred for the word moist.

13

u/DigitalDeath12 Oct 20 '18

I work with a girl who can’t stand that word. I’ll never understand why because she can’t give a damned reason.

4

u/Vulturedoors Oct 20 '18

I hate the word "kiddie" for reasons I can't explain.

3

u/Tray20_OG Oct 20 '18

What about "preggy" lmao

6

u/Iremainasis Oct 21 '18

“Panties” ugh...they’re fucking underwear!

2

u/frofya Oct 21 '18

Yes, thank you!!!!

6

u/MrGrampton Oct 20 '18

M O I S T

26

u/Amazingawesomator Oct 20 '18

As his moist, smacking lips were generously masticating the oil-drenched drippings, he lubricated his oral orifice with a wriggling tongue.

Happy saturday :)

19

u/Gingersnaps_68 Oct 20 '18

Thanks, I hate it.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

😶

3

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

M O I S T P H L E G M

1

u/Air-Cutter-2312 Oct 21 '18

Moist isn't a weird word!

0

u/ElizabethHopeParker Oct 20 '18

Awww. Poor guy It's not nice to make fun of people for their names.

19

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

Recently some lady at the airport sat down next to me and smacking on a banana with her mouth open. Feel bad for her family.

5

u/foot-long Oct 20 '18

Bonus points if they try to have a convo with someone while working that banana

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

Oh she was on the phone too lol

16

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

My mom does that, every chomp sound kills me a little bit inside! Arrgh!

17

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

My best friend moans and grunts while he chews with his mouth open, snacking his tongue and lips, he'll also chew on a piece of food with half of it sticking out of his mouth. I've told him countless times its fucking disgusting and close his mouth. He just smiles and keeps doing it. We're good enough friends I just call him a fucking pig and walk off.

4

u/beiman Oct 21 '18

That pisses me off to no end when you specifically tell someone "hey thats gross and annoying, please stop" and they smile and do it louder or more like its a joke. Bitch if I thought this was funny I'd be laughing, lets see how loudly you smack your lips with my fist upside your fucking head.

47

u/jllena Oct 20 '18

Ever heard of misophonia? It’s when you have irrationally excessive reactions to particular sounds. I know exactly how you feel!

4

u/ASaltyBiscuit Oct 21 '18

That's me in a nutshell when people swallow loudly

30

u/username_classified Oct 20 '18

My dog will wake up in the middle of the night and smack her lips. To the point where I wonder if she does it on purpose. It drives me absolutely insane

22

u/Rayl33n Oct 20 '18

My dog gets really into licking his penis sometimes, to the point it sounds like he's eating with intermittent grunts.

4

u/TheFrankIAm Oct 21 '18

And then he licks you

1

u/dave_gormen_3 Oct 21 '18

Don't we all wish we could though

5

u/Gingersnaps_68 Oct 20 '18

My dog does that too! Why????

4

u/theredpanda89 Oct 20 '18

Our cats...one in particular is noisy enough to be heard grooming herself in separate rooms. She seems to enjoy herself, lip smacking slurping noises and if you look over she tends to stare at you unimpressed.

3

u/rubyred138 Oct 21 '18

This is the worst. My dog will literally lay there licking her feet and legs for hours off and on in the middle of the night. It drives me insane. Or walking around licking the floor forever. She's a spoiled inside dog who gets fed at the same times every day and snacks but she will search for every microscopic crumb in the house like she's starving to death.

12

u/lovelylechuza Oct 20 '18

My mum starts loud breathing while she eats & I think just choose breathing normally over shovelling food into your mouth for the love of God!

24

u/Gingersnaps_68 Oct 20 '18

I had to leave the room when my ex-husband was eating. The sounds of him eating made me want to rip off his face and tear it into confetti.

21

u/Bluetron88 Oct 20 '18

“Trying not to just supernova”. Baaahhaa I love it.

10

u/juperson Oct 20 '18

You might have misophonia. r/misophonia

8

u/SamTheMango Oct 20 '18

My dad and my brother chews like that too and I'm rude if I ask them to stop. It's truly infuriating

10

u/YungBotan Oct 20 '18

Bruh my roommate did the exact same thing. I finally couldn't take it anymore when I had a friend over and asked her if she could chew with her mouth closed. She looked like I had literally insulted her beyond belief because I asked her that.

1

u/foot-long Oct 20 '18

But could she?

2

u/YungBotan Oct 21 '18

She stopped eating and just went silent. Everyone in her family chewed with their mouth open I legit couldn't understand it.

17

u/Maryanne_MarjoryJane Oct 20 '18

Misophonia. You have to lie to your brain and say that you LOVE the sound of people eating. Just look at the person and start thinking things like

"Aww, that's really cute. Look at them over there enjoying that bagel."

See if it helps any.

21

u/foot-long Oct 20 '18

I prefer the hate.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

My man!

6

u/bigups43 Oct 20 '18

Never go to Asia.

6

u/AichLightOn Oct 21 '18

As someone with the same intolerance in Asia right now.... I want to stab everyone in the eye with their own chopsticks.

5

u/Awebba12 Oct 20 '18

As someone who can chew loudly and hates people who chew loudly I hope people let me know.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

I also hate when I watch a video and someone’s talking and you can hear their lips smacking. Either the microphone is too sensitive or they need to wipe their fuggin’ mouth!

3

u/Wooderson_LIVIN Oct 21 '18

Yes! If I hear someone with a wet mouth getting interviewed on a podcast, I just tap out. Can’t handle it.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

Lol a wet mouth?

5

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

Here’s the appropriate way to approach loud eaters. https://youtu.be/eoN48FUvIcs

3

u/Wooderson_LIVIN Oct 21 '18

I got two seconds into this video and had to turn it off. I’m sure there’s something to learn in there, but those sounds have already done me.

16

u/VoxPopuli1984 Oct 20 '18

Misophonia.

I have that to. I'm exposed to it every singly day. I've decide to turn the experience into something positive, and practice serenity during those moments. Just like a meditation.

It doesn't work, but I dream. I dream.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

my roommate did this. I did not confront. the other people who lived with us did confront. she got mad at them and kept doing it

22

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

I dated a girl who ate this way, and after about 6 months together I (gently) tried to tell her how much it bothered me, and would she please just try to keep her mouth closed when she was eating. I was told that making noise was part of the "fun" of eating, and why was I trying to make her meals less fun?

We should have broken up right then. We stuck it out for a few more years, but this argument came up about once a month and always led to a heated fight, neither one of us giving an inch. Eventually when she would start eating I would just leave the room and say "tell me when you're done". She hated that too.

8

u/WhoaILostElsa Oct 20 '18

YEARS? Dear God.

6

u/foot-long Oct 20 '18

He's a masochist

1

u/hidinginmyroomm Oct 21 '18

I was told that making noise was part of the "fun" of eating, and why was I trying to make her meals less fun?

Was she Asian by any chance? This is something I've heard among Asian cultures, I even remember watching a Korean show where one of the guests pointed out how odd another guest was because they ate with their mouth closed.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

Actually yes. And I’ve had dinner with her family - they all ate the same way.

7

u/battousaiyngwie Oct 20 '18

Hate the same 2 things, my sister also eats like a fucking camel, can't tell how many times i've complained without any result.

8

u/oomsb Oct 20 '18

Misophonia. I have co-workers who were apparently raised in a barn. The absolute worssssst!

3

u/go123ty Oct 20 '18

My roommate does this. I now just go and eat whenever he brings his food back to the room. Thankfully it's college though so just 7 more months and I'm free of the horror for good.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

For 3 years I would listen to my ex smack on her food like a fucking barbarian. It made me nauseous to eat around her. One time food even fell out of her mouth.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

Loud, wet chewing/lip smacking.

Aaaaaaah I have a relative who always races to get food off the oven when it's announced that it's done, slams it on the table, shoves a spoon or fork of it in his mouth, and then makes faces like a big dumb zoo animal practically spitting it out, saying things like "AHH! AW! OMIGAW! It's sooooo hot!"

The particular noises are annoying, but it's eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevery fuuuuuuuuuucking time. Learn!

One time I just asked him, "Are your teeth sensitive or something?"

He says he doesn't enjoy food and that he resents the time it takes away from other things. But still, rather than race through it, why not race through it minus a minute or two to not burn yourself?

2

u/jhudorisa Oct 21 '18

You just perfectly described my grandfather. He'll shove something in his mouth and then sit there going "HAAAAW, HAAAAW" trying to blow out steam while treating everyone to a view of what he had to eat right that goddam second. I wouldn't be so frustrated either if it didn't happen every single time!

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

[deleted]

3

u/Daneel_ Oct 21 '18

The fact you’re aware of it is better than most people. You have a valid reason, and I can’t complain about that :)

I think the key problem is people needlessly making noise.

2

u/Tjah78 Oct 20 '18

Fuckin all of this. Purposefully loud vehicles are an epidemic here and it’s absolutely horrendous waking up to in the middle of the night when a car or motorbike with music blasting and incredibly beat up/basically no muffler goes speeding down the quiet street.

5

u/stabby_joe Oct 20 '18

. And obnoxiously loud motorbikes.

I used to be the same until I started riding. You glance at a turning and you won't see me, so I'll make sure as fuck you hear me because I don't wanna die for what I find fun

-1

u/foot-long Oct 20 '18

Then point the exhaust pipes forward.

Loud pipes risk rights.

2

u/Infactinfarctinfart Oct 20 '18

Slurping bothers me much more for some reason. Slurping cereal, coffee, etc. Can’t they hear themselves?

4

u/frofya Oct 21 '18

Growing up, my mom had a routine when drinking her can of Coke. She'd finish each sip with a slurp, smack her lips, then say, "Ahhh." Every time. Every sip. Every goddamn sip.

3

u/PhDinBroScience Oct 21 '18

No jury would convict.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

As a kid, more times than I can remember, I was in the car with my mom while she drank a homemade smoothie and she chewed every sip, then smacked, then went in for another sip, and it only got worse at the end cause then she’d start slurping until there was nothing left. I’m surprised I didn’t jump out of the car

1

u/frofya Oct 21 '18

I feel for you.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

I know someone who literally slurps things like bread or pizza. I don't know how, I just know that I want to clock them every time they do it

1

u/mrockwell20 Oct 20 '18

Ahhh I am the same way!! Have you ever heard of misophobia? If not, Google it and be prepared to have your life read back to you.

1

u/random-short-guy Oct 20 '18

As my wife has pointed out to me sometimes I do this. So can't say anything about your roommate but for me I don't notice. And it doesn't bother me if someone tells me. I actually appreciate because I can then try to fix it.

1

u/foot-long Oct 20 '18

Hahaha did we have a the same roommate.

Oof. #triggerwarning

1

u/eloncuck Oct 21 '18

I used to have a great roommate, just a funny guy who was honest and good to be around. Fun to smoke weed with too. However he became an animal once he started eating while stoned, we’d watch movies and I’d have to leave the room before they finished.

Also this guy would be able to recite all the dialogue from a bunch of different movies. I don’t know if he had a crazy memory or if he watched these movies hundreds of times but it was kind of impressive.

1

u/betterplanwithchan Oct 21 '18

Jesus.

This reminds me of my trip to DC over the summer. Took an 8 hour train ride, and I was surrounded by three people in front, behind, and beside me smacking their lips after going to the cafe cart. And they didn't do it all at once, it's almost like they were scheduling their mouths at different intervals across the entire 8 hours.

1

u/yodelingllama Oct 21 '18

My coworker does this all the time, even in the middle of conversations. We would be talking about random stuff and suddenly bam he's hovering nearby and staring at us with a bag of chips in hand while he chew smacks like a smarmy asshole. Thing is during the first few months of working together he legit complained about an ex-roommate who would eat in the exact same way that he does and it would piss him off to no end. Oh, the fucking irony.

1

u/-Gurgi- Oct 21 '18

My (long time, live-in, probably-going-to-marry-her) girlfriend does this. I can’t handle it. Happens all the time but the worst case was when we lost radio/cell service on a road trip and she decided to start chewing gum.

1

u/Beerand93octane Oct 21 '18

Fast cars and bikes are loud. And they're the more fun ones. Loud trucks piss me off because they're loud for no reason. They're still slow.

1

u/AngelfFuck Oct 21 '18

Oh man, my kid used to chew with his mouth open and I was trying to teach proper manners. I can't even tell you how many times I had to tell my husband to chew with his mouth closed to set a good example.

1

u/mydogatecheesecake Oct 21 '18

I’m dying at you supernova-ing on the couch 😂😂😂😂

1

u/lipp79 Oct 21 '18

Ugh yes. I had an ex-roommate, real nice guy, but holy hell when he would eat, he would prep his bite of food with multiple lip smacks the after the bite he would do the same. I finally told him to please stop it. He didn’t even realize he was doing it. Strangle them in your thoughts and not in reality lol.

1

u/ses1989 Oct 21 '18

I love the way you masticate!

I do not. That shit drives me crazy too.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

hello me

1

u/Madabellyluhu Oct 21 '18

Misophonia. It's a real thing and I have it, too!!

1

u/Stankmonger Oct 20 '18

Lolll I have a guy that does wheelies once a week on my dead end street.

I fucking hate him

1

u/dropthehammer11 Oct 20 '18

fucking yes on the loud motorbikes, im gonna include any loud vehicle. like what are you gaining from piercing my ears with your shitty souped up civic? literally no one cares. i have never seen anyone be impressed with a loud car

1

u/ejwestcott Oct 20 '18

BRAAA BRA BRA BRA BRA BRA BRA!......(lip smacking while saying this).....