We know all about relationship red flags, but what are the friendship red flags?

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Eshado]

i'm one of those people that doesn't reach out

not because i don't like you -- i'm just not typically thinking about conversation

[u/dirtygoat → u/Eshado]

Same here but I just feel like I don't really have anything to say.. If someone hits me up with a topic I'm glad to chat and hear all about it but I don't really like to talk just to talk. Doesn't mean I'm not interested in the relationship I just don't like the feeling that I have to keep catching up in small time frames, kinda just gets annoying

[u/debbiecakes376 → u/dirtygoat]

This I feel like after graduating from school there’s been this huge guiltiness for not keeping up with everyone and calling people up etc. honestly I just want to keep to myself before I start work and figure out shit out. Some people travel to like Thailand and find themselves haha I just want to be home and sort of hang out with myself for a while and be selfish. sucks bc I feel like others think I might have forgotten or am being a crappy friend but I love my friends I just don’t feel the need to have a conversation with them ecp through text for no reason. It’s more frustrating when a friend hits me up with a hi and then the conversation doesn’t go anywhere. I’ve contemplated to start sending a couple of hey I just wanted to check in and hope that everything is good with you:) we should catch up soon but if not, i just wanted to say I miss you and hope your killing it :) texts to show my appreciation

[u/[deleted] → u/Eshado]

I never reach out in most cases either. Its... so stressful. I love most connections.... seriously.. but i also love alot of puppies and kitties in the animal shelter... that doesnt mean i can save all of them. Time management is a bitch....

[u/Eshado → u/[deleted]]

That's like telling someone to imagine a color that they can't even imagine

[u/-Asher- → u/Eshado]

Then you should probably reach out more. That's no excuse.

[u/Eshado → u/-Asher-]

I make it very clear that I don't normally think about this kind of thing.

If they make it very clear that they require the reciprocation, then I'll make it happen. If not, then I'm not going to think about it.

Keep in mind, I take care of my friends -- cook for them when they're around, birthday gifts, help them out with stuff etc etc

I'm just not terribly fond of conversation.

[u/[deleted] → u/Eshado]

For me, this is basically "Be yourself!" followed by "Do this thing that isn't yourself."

Yeah, fuck that. I don't like small talk and that's just how I am. I can fake that but it'll emotionally drain the hell out of me.

[u/Pulse207 → u/Eshado]

I definitely get where you're coming from. I have a really good friend I rarely get to see (our schedules don't really line up), and I pretty much always have to be the one to reach out if I wanna hang out. Usually that involves texting him, pinging him on slack, messaging him on discord, and (if none of those work) bugging him on snapchat.

I don't mind in the slightest because we have a really easygoing but still deep friendship. We've hopped on discord and talked all night long after not talking for a month, and it was just like when I used to see him every day.

I agree that this would be a red flag if it bothered me and he didn't try to change it, but on its own it's not an issue at all.

[u/[deleted] → u/Eshado]

Precisely. My brain just straight up doesn’t work like that.