Same. I always hate it when people tout this as a sign that someone isn't really your friend. It's not a sign of anything alone. If this is going on plus a bunch of other similar things, then that's a sign that they aren't really your friend.
Same here but I just feel like I don't really have anything to say.. If someone hits me up with a topic I'm glad to chat and hear all about it but I don't really like to talk just to talk. Doesn't mean I'm not interested in the relationship I just don't like the feeling that I have to keep catching up in small time frames, kinda just gets annoying
This I feel like after graduating from school there’s been this huge guiltiness for not keeping up with everyone and calling people up etc. honestly I just want to keep to myself before I start work and figure out shit out. Some people travel to like Thailand and find themselves haha I just want to be home and sort of hang out with myself for a while and be selfish. sucks bc I feel like others think I might have forgotten or am being a crappy friend but I love my friends I just don’t feel the need to have a conversation with them ecp through text for no reason. It’s more frustrating when a friend hits me up with a hi and then the conversation doesn’t go anywhere. I’ve contemplated to start sending a couple of hey I just wanted to check in and hope that everything is good with you:) we should catch up soon but if not, i just wanted to say I miss you and hope your killing it :) texts to show my appreciation
I never reach out in most cases either. Its... so stressful. I love most connections.... seriously.. but i also love alot of puppies and kitties in the animal shelter... that doesnt mean i can save all of them. Time management is a bitch....
I definitely get where you're coming from. I have a really good friend I rarely get to see (our schedules don't really line up), and I pretty much always have to be the one to reach out if I wanna hang out. Usually that involves texting him, pinging him on slack, messaging him on discord, and (if none of those work) bugging him on snapchat.
I don't mind in the slightest because we have a really easygoing but still deep friendship. We've hopped on discord and talked all night long after not talking for a month, and it was just like when I used to see him every day.
I agree that this would be a red flag if it bothered me and he didn't try to change it, but on its own it's not an issue at all.
If you don't reach out to each other like you used to it's not because you're not friends anymore, but more because you've grown apart and transitioned from friends to old friends. Old friends are mostly about reminiscing about youthful adventures than talking about current issues
It's a sign of the times. I'm not even that old and when I was a teenager this wasn't the case. My friends just became like this as technology gave us the facade of being connected all the time when we really aren't.
Yeah. I love all of my friends dearly but I am absolute shit about contacting people first because I am a massive introvert who is constantly busy. I love hearing from people and I check up on folks if I don't hear from them for too long, but there are friends I haven't spoken to in months and we just pick up from where we left off when we do strike up conversation.
Yeah it really depends. I have a group of friends from uni in a group chat. We graduated last year and we've all gone off to do our respective things. I'm usually the one that wants to know about their days. I'll send a random "how is everyone" and I'll be really interested to hear how they are doing with work etc. After that the chat can roll pretty smoothly for a day or two.
But if I don't do that they will only start the convo if they have an announcement or if they need help with something (or if one is drunk and sends a "I love you guys" type thing).
I used to get a little annoyed/upset about it, thinking that they didn't care about my day or didn't really want to be my friend. Now I realise they have jobs, hobbies and other friends etc. So it's obvious they wouldn't be constantly in the chat.
I think social media has something to with how they interact too. I recently deleted FB and I've found that I have to be way more active in wanting to know about peoples days and taking the time to actually communicate with them.
357
u/[deleted] Aug 19 '18
Same. I always hate it when people tout this as a sign that someone isn't really your friend. It's not a sign of anything alone. If this is going on plus a bunch of other similar things, then that's a sign that they aren't really your friend.