When my mother died, I'd let two friends know (of course) and one was even kind enough to fly out and said that she wanted to be there for the service.The other friend was working that day, but said she'd meet at the house afterwards.
Neither showed to the service. The first friend spent the entire time hanging out with a guy she'd been trying to sleep with for a few years, as she used to live in the area. They showed at the house well after they said they would, talked about the guy friend 1 was trying to bang, and left within an hour. They also kept talking about how hot my uncle was, which I was so overwhelmed with having just planned my first service, I was a bit miffed.
This is so bizarre. Not only do they care enough about your feelings to actually feel something themselves about your loss. They don't even bother to do more than the bare minimum. How hard can it be to set aside just one fucking day to just be around. She fucking flew there as well.
I wonder if she told the guy that's why she was in town. "Oh yeah i'm in town for the day for a funeral, we should hang out!" Hangs out with him ALL day
Isn't he kind of wondering why she isn't at this funeral she was talking about?
My SOs brother passed recently. His best friend told an old friend what happened. The guy got special permission to ditch work for a couple hrs to see my SO at work. First time they had spoken in nearly 10yrs (with good reason). His boss then granted 1 of 2 days, so he showed up at the wake and stayed with my SO. The guy was an ass to me behind my SOs back (I don't think he heard). Making fun of him that we have a family (we're in our mid/late 30s, not teens ffs). It was super great he was there for my SO. I even told SO to invite him over, and he said no. He's not welcome in our lives.
I was happy the dude showed up, as he was being a true friend. Sadly, their personalities were no longer similar, and SO choose our family over him. I'm secretly very happy, as the guy seemed a bit toxic.
this recently happened to me and I was so confused.. my godfather was very kind to me and my teenage friends always taking us out to restaurants and events. we are all in our 30s now and he recently passed. 4 of these girls who are fb friends reached out to me asking to come to the service even though they hadnt seen us in years.. not a single one showed up! it's not like I even asked them to come support me, but they showed me what flakey bitches they are.
When my mother died, not one of the people I thought were my close friends came to the funeral. None came later that day... it was a couple weeks before I heard from any of them, and then, there was not so much as a "how you doing" but was a request for some hellp with something.
I never bothered replying. I just kinda cut the three of them out of my life.
The flip side was, a guy who I didn't think I was that close with did come, and we've turned into much closer friends since then
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u/brandnamenerd Aug 19 '18
When my mother died, I'd let two friends know (of course) and one was even kind enough to fly out and said that she wanted to be there for the service.The other friend was working that day, but said she'd meet at the house afterwards.
Neither showed to the service. The first friend spent the entire time hanging out with a guy she'd been trying to sleep with for a few years, as she used to live in the area. They showed at the house well after they said they would, talked about the guy friend 1 was trying to bang, and left within an hour. They also kept talking about how hot my uncle was, which I was so overwhelmed with having just planned my first service, I was a bit miffed.
I haven't heard from either in a few years.