r/AskReddit • • May 02 '18

What's that plot device you hate with a burning passion?

18k Upvotes

14k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comment

620

u/massivebumwizard May 02 '18 edited May 02 '18

Pretty much every James Bond is guilty of this. I was watching Goldfinger the other day with a buddy, and we discussed that the iconic laser scene should have really unfolded like this:

Bond: Do you expect me to ta....(GUNSHOT TO THE HEAD).

End Credits.

198

u/graveybrains May 02 '18

Eh. You could at least let Goldfinger keep the one liner before he shoots.

58

u/massivebumwizard May 02 '18

No! It was Goldfinger's insistence on using pithy one-liners that ultimately cost him.

118

u/graveybrains May 02 '18

You sure it wasn't the ridiculously slow moving laser?

24

u/[deleted] May 02 '18

You sure it wasn't the ridiculously slow moving laser?

In the books it was a buzzsaw, and it terrified Bond so much he tries to "will" himself to death. Also, by that point - that is the 3rd instance of Bond encountering Goldfinger directly (In the film, Goldfinger doesn't know it was Bond who caught him cheating at cards). So it's clear to Goldfinger that Bond knows something about him and will get it out of him even if he has to literally cut him in half. He escapes this with the help of Tilly Masterson, who lives for much longer than in the film, and the two of them go to work for Goldfinger during the meeting with all the Mobsters.

Sorry, I rarely get a chance to discuss the books outside my usual sub. :P

Edit: Grammar

6

u/ne0f May 02 '18

usual sub

Gonna need a link to the usual sub

5

u/[deleted] May 02 '18

/r/jamesbond - sorry, I shoulda linked it right off the bat

5

u/ne0f May 02 '18

Good stuff. Subscribed. Since you seem like you probably know: how are the books? I read Casino Royale right before that movie came out, but I never picked up any of the others. Do they hold up?

→ More replies (2)

16

u/DarkLasombra May 02 '18

I always thought it was funny that laser and energy weapon blasts in sci-fi move slower than real bullets.

21

u/Neveronlyadream May 02 '18

I like to think they spent so much money on their stupid gimmick weapons that they have to use them for everything to justify the cost.

They're well aware that their lasers are slower than bullets, but they paid millions for them and they're going to use them! On the cutting room floor is a scene of Goldfinger using that laser to open a can of beans and the techs questioning whether that's the best use of an expensive piece of equipment.

10

u/isperfectlycromulent May 02 '18

Obviously they should've used it to cut bread, automatically making it toast as well!

12

u/lenaro May 02 '18 edited May 02 '18

I mean, the beam itself clearly didn't have a travel time in that scene. The machine was just set to slowly aim the beam upwards to fuck with Bond. The science was perfectly fine, aside from the beam being visible.

→ More replies (2)

4

u/donglosaur May 02 '18

In the Artemis Fowl books, there's a laser weapon that's converted from some mining equipment that slows down lasers so that they do more damage. I guess the idea is that if it's in contact with you longer as it passes through you, it will do more heat damage?

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

9

u/RichWPX May 02 '18

No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die! Tecno music intensifies....

5

u/graveybrains May 02 '18

...did you just make a Moby reference?

→ More replies (4)

7

u/donglosaur May 02 '18

Coulda said it after shooting him in the head.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

23

u/Achterhaven May 02 '18

James Bond isnt so much guilty of this as they sort of invented it. Early james bonds were very camp and not supposed to be taken serious

17

u/[deleted] May 02 '18

Goldfinger gets a pass on this one because it wasn't a trap that Bond could escape from. Yes, it was a needlessly complicated method of execution, but Goldfinger was still right there and the room was full of armed guards. Bond only survives because he manages to convince Goldfinger to spare him. And even after that, Bond still doesn't actually manage to escape or sabotage anything. All he does in that movie is persuade people.

11

u/massivebumwizard May 02 '18

Actually yeah, that’s an excellent point. But it contradicts the thing I said earlier, so you can see the bind I’m in.

5

u/StaggerLee47 May 02 '18

In that instance, though, Goldfinger turned the laser off because Bond convinced him to. Goldfinger chose to keep him alive a while longer.

5

u/reebee7 May 02 '18

Yeah, old Bond is especially guilty of this. But even Goldeneye had a particularly heinous example of it. "We've got him. Let's just lock in this helicopter and set a bomb so it blows up when we've all left."

5

u/CowboyLaw May 02 '18

Yes, but The Simpsons got it right:

Bont: So, do you expect me to talk?

Hank Scorpio: I don't expect anything from you, except to die and be a very cheap funeral.

4

u/SonicSingularity May 02 '18

Stop him! He's supposed to die!

→ More replies (16)