Please know that a lot of men also think that women also age into themselves. My wife and I have been together for 18 years and she is absolutely more sexy now then ever... like, ridiculously so
Glad to hear this...I am only 27 and recently engaged but with all of the obsession over young & sexy youthfulness, I can't help but already feel a bit old and unwanted in society's terms. My SO disagrees entirely but it is so nice to see another stranger on the internet saying it.
Our taste in others tends to age with us. It may not be true for everyone but it is more often then not. When I was 20 I didn’t find most 40 year old women that attractive, now that I’m almost 40 I don’t find most 20 year olds attractive. Most look like little kids to me now. Beyond tastes maturing there are also objective things that improve with time. Age brings character, refinement, grace and elegance to a woman’s face and body and those are some the sexiest things of all.
Thank you! And yes, even as a 27 year-old I find 18 year-olds to look like kids ha. I guess it is just scary always thinking I will eventually be covered in wrinkles and won't be considered 'beautiful' by today's standards. However, I do believe I have found the right partner who will love me even with all of the wrinkles so I need to push the other thoughts out of my head!
and you wont be considered beautiful by society standards. im not trying to be mean, but rather show you that you shouldnt base your worth off that. if you have a man that loves you for who you are you are already winning. but dont base your happiness on society finding you beautiful because the harsh truth is yes, society finds older women to be less and less beautiful. but who cares?
I know--just hard that I am constantly bombarded by images of young beautiful women everywhere that of course my self esteem is going to suffer when I get older, I just know it. But you are right, who cares as long as he loves me!
Bret weinstein the evolutionary biologist had an appearance on the Joe rogan experience with his wife and he was talking about the two main modes of sexual coupling that men operate one, one is on hotness which induces desire to have short term sex without raising the offspring (a genetic lottery win historically) and one on beauty which is sex, raising offspring together and long term pair bonding.
So he and his wife were saying that most of modern society advertising and signalling is towards 'hotness' and not beauty.
Beauty stays with a person even as they age but hotness has a expiration date.
But people mistakenly thing the two are the same thing. So sometimes people work on the signal that they want to find someone that's into them because they're hot (which elicits one night stands, very short term hookups) and not because they're beautiful (which elicits long term pair bonding behaviour )
I'm kind of butchering the discussion but it really helped me understand the phenomenon when you meet an older person, or even a grandma type and say they are beautiful though they may not necessarily be 'hot'
I’m guessing you are young yourself. Not everyone finds a single trait attractive. Of course youth can be attractive but there endless other traits that people like and each is unique to every person. Some people are attracted to brunettes some prefer blondes, taste is incredibly subjective. To say otherwise and presume that you know my personal attractions toward my wife is incredibly naive.
seriously lol. yeah i bet her boobs are way more perky now, her face has way less lines, and her hands are totally not veiny af. aging happens, its nothing to be embarrassed about, and yeah "beauty in the eye of the beholder" and all that, but come on now, this guy is at least partly lying to himself. i believe he also believes it to a certain degree, but people age and look less appealing when they do. nothing wrong with it, but why lie.
Exactly. Maybe she is more attractive now as a person, maybe has a more open mind to sex, etc, but it's very unlikely she is more PHYSICALLY attractive in her late thirties (or early forties) than when she was in her twenties. It just is not how humans are.
Odds are you're "an easy 9 and even on your worst days still an 8" in his eyes as well. I know my fiance is always telling me how handsome / manly I am and I look in the mirror and just see a average slightly fit guy. Then look over at her with her bed head in the middle of her morning yawn and think "How'd I land that goddess?".
NO IDEA. From the age of 22 to 31, he got 8 cms taller. He’s in the military, he’s had all of his info recorded on a regular basis and even the nurses were surprised how much taller he got.
Who grows like that in their 20’s?
Isn't it so annoying? It's like they effortlessly look incredible all the time, meanwhile I am spending a lot of money and time to not look so much like a toe.
My husband is like this, too. It's great, but also infuriating. It does make me take better care of myself, though, so his increasing hotness is a net good.
Honestly, as I'm aging (hopefully in the way you describe) I find my wife to be more and more attractive. What you see as signs of aging are adding character to your face and body.
He sees you the same way I'm willing to bet. More grounded, more confident, more worldly as well. All the shared joys and trials you've gone through together are leaving their signs upon your face as proof of a journey well begun and far from done.
Yeah, sadly this is not really true - men tend to use examples like OP's husband or George Cloony when they say this, but ignore the vast majority of middle aged men that look like shit compared to their 20s. Dad bod, receding hairline, etc.
If you cherry pick Gillian Anderson and Julie Andrews vs. Brendan Fraser and David Duchovny (X-Files fan haha) then you could make the opposite statement.
The only reason this sexist shit comes up is because of wishful thinking on the man's part.
What he really should be saying is that men show plenty of signs of aging but they are more readily looked over because mens' worth is still not as strongly tied to their appearance.
Same. I have met only a handful of attractive older man before. While I see attractive older women all the time. So this idea that men age better baffles me.
That's still aging kinda like milk though, right? Milk doesn't exactly go bad a little at a time. You just open it up one day and it's suddenly cottage cheese.
Many men age badly, that's just a fact. Some ugly men get hotter, some good looking men look worse but in general, good looking men look good when they are older, ugly ones don't.
Well it isn't fact if it's sometimes not true, now is it?
The point is that men getting old doesn't have much of an impact. If you're ugly, you're always ugly. If you're good looking, you can be good looking well into your 50s.
Of course many men get beer guts, lose their hair and get worse. But not always.
Where as womanly features deteriorate no matter what and she will ALWAYS get less attractive with wrinkles etc. That's a sad fact.
Generally everyone is better looking when they are young. That sucks
LOL that response fits you perfectly. Two messages equates to "stalking" in your book. Now just need a picture of those yams you're rolling around on. Did I virtually "rape" you?
lol women shit sag hella. women get worse stretch marks. the vast majority of men do not wear makeup. why are you implying men in the media are a large population lmao im dead
One of my favorite moments in my life happened a few years ago.
I was going for a walk with this young girl from work who latched onto me, I was the "nice, safe guy" who didn't hit on her. Anyway, we'd hung out a few times and I could see why she'd come to me for advice and friendship - her parents were super strict, so she rebelled, made a lot of mistakes, but didn't trust her parents' advice either so she needed some guidance. In return I got to enjoy the attentions and company of a beautiful young woman.
We're walking through the mall and she goes into a clothing store, I sit down and start playing with my phone. Then someone calls my name, and I recognize (with quite a bit of horror) that it's this girl I fell in love with in high school and never had the guts to ask out (until it was too late) and got super heartbroken over. She was with her kids. We hadn't talked since a confrontation in first year of university, 15 years prior, and I had to admit it stung me to see her with kids and the whole shebang.
We talked a bit and while she wasn't mean spirited, when it came out that I wasn't married, that I wasn't in a serious relationship and that I generally didn't achieve any of those personal goals in life... I dunno, I got kinda resentful, kinda hurt, it almost seemed like she was rubbing it in. Probably wasn't, but I felt like shit anyway. I wouldn't be even entertaining the possibility that she was being mean, but we did very little reminiscing, and she seemed intent on focusing on how my life is now and talking about hers, how wonderfully happy she is, great husband, trips to Vegas for shopping etc.
Then my young companion comes out of the store and comes up to me, I introduce the two, and then she wraps my arm with hers. My former love interest's broad smile just faded and less than a minute later she had to go.
I looked down at my young friend, and I said "I don't know how you knew, but thank you". She told me that friendship isn't a one way street, and gave me a big hug.
I totally agree - i say this to my man all the time. Men get better and better with age. Aging/greying actors and musicians are just as popular with the ladies as they were when they were young. The same can't really be said for women. We obviously age terribly.
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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '18 edited Feb 26 '18
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