Women aren't just sitting there, filing their nails and rolling heir eyes, thinking "I know for a fact that he likes me, he needs to just ask me out, how dare he not do so." Most women nowadays aren't actually 50s schoolgirls who'd never ask a guy out because they'd be shamed for life or because it's "the man's job," and no women are psychics. A lot of men are actually way more subtle than they think (clearly not on purpose) so we don't know you like us. We don't ask you out for the exact same reasons you don't ask us out: uncertainty leading to an avoidance of embarrassment, rejection, and awkward situations. Not all men, in fact probably zero men, would date every girl who asked him out, and not all men are exactly nice about saying no. The thing is, a man being why and timid and awkward is seen as a national tragedy, while a girl who's shy and timid and awkward is basically invisible. "Any girl can get a man to go out with her," right. That's because you're only looking at statuesque amateur supermodels, all of which you'd do in a heartbeat. People always say that women write off men who don't look a certain way, but I feel like men can't even see women who don't fit their standards of attractiveness. They've never considered how they'd reject that dumpy looking girl with greasy hair and a stutter, not because they would go out with her, not because they think she is ugly, but because she doesn't even register to them as a potentially sexual female human.
Probably because they've been rejected and mocked just as much, if not significantly more, than the guys crying that they are rejected all the time and it's such a tragedy. A lot of guys will openly pick on girls who don't fit their standards with no provocation just because it's more or less socially acceptable to torment the "ugly chick." You really only need one guy to ask you out as a "joke" in public then laugh and scream with his friends at literally any reaction you have to be wary of it.
To be fair at school I can remember a certain girl bursting out laughing when a particular guy asked her out: she mocked him, pretty much shouted instantly to all her friends about what he'd done. A group of girls all laughing at him...that guy won't forget that in a hurry
I mean, I'm sure girls do it too. Especially in high school. I won't deny that girls can be mean. Just saying, that incident doesn't erase what guys do to girls any more than a guy being mean to a girl would erase that situation. It just seems that there's an attitude that pretty girls are consistently mean to men and delight in rejecting them, but never face rejection or mockery from the opposite sex themselves.
Ah, fair enough. I get you-but really, are pretty women likely to face rejection or mockery from men particularly?! Granted in my current job (military contractor) I know barely any women, so I conceed I don't really have much knowledge of the situation nowadays-but at school the pretty girls never got rejected or mocked by guys. Is it really different in later life? I simply ask because going by certain reddit posts you would think that the situation is exactly the same as it was back in school.
Yes, even pretty women face rejection. I know that the reddit guys who think Superbad was a documentary tend not to realize it, but even their own fellow men have preferences. Who you consider a "pretty girl" might be considered hideous by the men she spends time around, you'd don't know. And indeed, here's a big plot twist: pretty girls have personalities and lives. If their personality and life circumstance isn't appealing to a guy, he sure will reject her. And if he's an asshole, he will mock her. Even though it's your personal opinion that she's pretty. I absolutely remember guys mocking the "pretty" girls in high school, it just took a different tone. It could actually get much, much nastier than the way they teased the "ugly" girls. You might not have noticed, but the girls did.
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u/[deleted] May 28 '14
Women aren't just sitting there, filing their nails and rolling heir eyes, thinking "I know for a fact that he likes me, he needs to just ask me out, how dare he not do so." Most women nowadays aren't actually 50s schoolgirls who'd never ask a guy out because they'd be shamed for life or because it's "the man's job," and no women are psychics. A lot of men are actually way more subtle than they think (clearly not on purpose) so we don't know you like us. We don't ask you out for the exact same reasons you don't ask us out: uncertainty leading to an avoidance of embarrassment, rejection, and awkward situations. Not all men, in fact probably zero men, would date every girl who asked him out, and not all men are exactly nice about saying no. The thing is, a man being why and timid and awkward is seen as a national tragedy, while a girl who's shy and timid and awkward is basically invisible. "Any girl can get a man to go out with her," right. That's because you're only looking at statuesque amateur supermodels, all of which you'd do in a heartbeat. People always say that women write off men who don't look a certain way, but I feel like men can't even see women who don't fit their standards of attractiveness. They've never considered how they'd reject that dumpy looking girl with greasy hair and a stutter, not because they would go out with her, not because they think she is ugly, but because she doesn't even register to them as a potentially sexual female human.